Why do I keep going back to my toxic relationship?

Some say you go back because it’s what you’re comfortable with. Some say you go back because you love them. Some say you go back because you’ve put so much of yourself into them and you don’t want to start over. Some say you go back because you feel empty without them or you feel like you physically can’t live without them. I personally think it’s all of that mixed into one. The first step away from someone who is bad for you is always the hardest, but remember.. love yourself first. Love the people who love you and make you the person you want to be. Love the positive energy that makes you feel like you can conquer the world. Don’t hang onto anchors. Let them go and discover how high you can really soar ! I’m not saying it’s easy but take a step back and ask yourself what you really want in life and in yourself then make strides towards those goals. As I always say, one baby step at a time :))

Sometimes toxic relationships are a vicious cycle. Its not your fault and its normal to go back to someone who has previously manipulated you. They might guilt trip you or show you that they care when you try to leave. its really hard to end the cycle. and when you decide to leave for good, take care of yourself and reward yourself for being strong. it might be challenging but if you try to look at the positive outcome of you leaving the toxic relationship, it may motivate you to leave! You can do this! it may take some time and self reflection but at the end of the day, you wont regret it!

You may have been going back to your toxic relationship because that is what feels familiar. You might also be hooked on the positive feelings and memories you've formed in the relationship at the very start. Those can be hard to ignore, whenever they pop up in your head it might even strengthen the attachment you have with the toxic relationship. Or the other case might be that you feel alone, and like no one else can be there for you if you leave your toxic relationship completely. Please don't be ashamed, the fact that you realize it a toxic relationship is already positive growth. And rest assured, there is so much more support out there than you realize. That is why this community is here for you, please don't be afraid to reach out. Still, you know your situation best and I hope you stay safe.

So this is something I have struggled with alot in my life, toxic relationships are in my experience formed when two people who are hurt / unhealed and still go face first into a relationship without allowing themselves to heal first, maybe thats not always the case but from my experience speaking it is.. I feel it is easy to end up in a toxic relationship rather than to find a happy one because when we arent healed from things even when its from when we were younger it doesnt have to be exactly trauma from a sexual relationship that we allow certain patterns that are ''toxic'' in our lives and thats us giving ourselves what we deserve which is never what we really deserve! thats why i feel it is super important to heal first because once we heal we tend to understand what we really need in a relationship ( sometimes we dont even need one! ) but we tend to set the bar higher when it comes to healing vs no being healed because well we then get an idea that we deserve to be treated with respect.

Sometimes there can be a number of factors as to why we go back to things or people that aren’t good for us, while no one can tell you specifically what that reason is it is important to take some time to self reflect and determine what it is you believe you’re getting or want from that person that allows you to continue to go back to them. Once you identify what it is, then you can first put an end to the story you’ve been telling yourself and then create a different one. We’ve all been there. Don’t worry

People usually go back to toxic relationships because they may have developed a psychological bond with the toxic partner/the abuser, because they don’t think they can start a new life alone/without the toxic partner or because they are scared of loneliness and they would rather stay in a toxic relationship than be alone. Some people don’t have enough resources or knowledge on how to leave an abuser. Some people are economically dependent, they might have children together or they have no family or friends who would support them to leave an abuser. There is also the pressure coming from the abuser and the fear as one of the reasons why people get stuck in a toxic relationship.

We tend to keep going back to out toxic relationships because maybe somewhere inside we have a fear of losing the people we are with. We fear losing someone who chose us, we sometimes fear the feeling of being alone and facing things in life without someone at times. It's difficult difficult come out of relationships when we feel like we won't be able to make relationships and friendships with people again. Or sometimes we love someone so deeply that we can't tend to stop caring about them or leaving them. I was also in a toxic relationship and wasn't able to get out of it because I never felt that I could be self dependent and self insufficient. And I love him way too much to part from him.

Toxic relationships are a sign of our past inabilities to find harmony with that person. Accordingly, we can't change the other person, we can only change ourselves. Yet inside all of us is that glimmer of hope, that things will get better in time. Furthermore, sometimes, no matter how hard we try, relationships have other factors involved as to why we are not finding that compatibility with this person. So there are a myriad of reasons why we keep going back to fix a relationship and hope things will change. If there is a mutual desire to continue the relationship, then there may be a chance that things can improve in time. And it is natural to desire happiness and to fight for that. Yet sometimes no matter how much we try, the incompatibility can seem overwhelming and there needs to be some common sense approach as to how we can go ahead. It is your choice how you want to do this. We are all different and deserve the freedom to work out how we want to resolve our inner and outer turmoils in life. So please turn within and love yourself first, then your beautiful instincts will be activated in resolving this seemingly poisonous situation in a healthy way.

Cyclic relationships can be hard to escape. An object in motion tends to stay in motion. Oft, you go back to the person who comforts you, even if they aren't healthy for you. Experience with such relationships can tell you a lot about yourself as a person and how you handle emotions. Placing your feelings on another person and become dependent on them can breed unhealthy relationships. Thus, being the reason why people go back. They become dependent on the emotional support they feel, even if it is often vacant or nonexistent. We must again learn how to feel by ourselves without the toxic significant other.

There are many reasons for this. Sometimes, we don't really understand that we are in a toxic relationship. We think that our partners are helping us to make better decisions, that they love us truly. What we fail to understand is the difference between concern and control freak . But it's okay. It's never to late. Once out of a toxic relationship, invest time in yourself. Back to the question, we also end up going back because we tend to imagine that our life is nothing without them. We also go back because they may have shown affection, care ,etc which we deeply craved for.

Most of the time, when we crave to go back into a previous relationship, it is the first phase of our relationship we are wanting. I.e the closeness. The bonding. The high feel-good endorphins and love. Unfortunately sometimes those are places and times we cannot go back to, and we must learn to accept that. Also, if a partner has been abusive or severely toxic, it is good to be aware of certain behaviours such as trauma bonding and love bombing etc. Toxic people will have a tendency to try and draw you back into them - push and pull. If they are truly toxic and unhealthy for you then it is probably best that you move on.

From personal experience, it is because you get scared of being alone and you are not used to being without them and even if they are toxic your brain tricks you into being denial that it is happening and you say he or she will change but most of the time they don't. It's a hard pattern to break but with the right support, you can get out of it and be in a safe environment with people that care. But overall the main reason is that we are so used to it that we are conditioned to it, trying to break the cycle is hard.

When we are in a relationship, we are bonded to the memories and love we made together. And break up is hard because these memories keep running behind us. And the more we think of that the more we want to fall back and live the same life with the same person whether that one is toxic but our emotions are true and emotions are fair for everyone. But when we run back and don't find that happiness and love again we move out and still the same cycle of emotions and memory repeats which push us to move back to get those days again.

Because it’s familiar to you. We tend to like staying in our comfort zones because we are familiar with it. Your partner is someone who you are familiar with, and the relationship is familiar to you. You keep going back to it because you know what it’s like, and you may be scared of the unknown - what are other relationships like? How will you be treated? The unknown can be scary sometimes. But another reason you keep going back might be because of hope. We all have hope within us, optimism and the belief that things (and people) can be better. That they can become better. So maybe you keep going back because you hope that they can change and become a better person and partner, one who isn’t toxic. Because though they were toxic, you still might care about them.

Investing time and energy into a relationship is a lot of work, and the thought of starting over can seem daunting. Dating takes a lot of effort. Opening ourselves up to someone new inevitably comes with the potential to be hurt again. It’s scary, and that fear alone is enough to keep people at bay. Plus, why start over with someone new when our hurtful partner already knows us so well? It’s especially easy to run back to someone familiar if we are going through an emotional rough patch. When we’ve made ourselves vulnerable to someone and labeled them as a person who knows us, it can be hard to categorize them as unsafe. When you’ve had some distance from a partner, it’s also easy to romanticize the good memories until, suddenly, the bad memories are less significant. After all, repressing negative memories is a tool we use to protect ourselves from re-experiencing trauma.

We are all humans which means it its easier to be tucked on cycles. Toxic relationships can be addictive therefore toxic. Emotionally, they affect us, but we won't always realize how much they are affecting us till it's too late. Toxic relationships can affect you in many ways for example some people are bound to continue them due to their partner making them stay or tricking them into thinking they are crazy for wanting to break up or they might have children or not be able to support by themselves. This might be why many people keep going back to toxic relationships.

The first and most important issue that toxic relationship induce after it "goes off" is the emotional space". It used to fill some space inside you, it could be filling it with pain, sad events, quarrells, drama, or even some sort of attention. So we need to plan for filling the gaps before we decide to leave. You prepare where to go, but you do n't prepare the substitute for your daily life activities that you used to during the toxic relationship. That means you need to insert more interesting and useful activities and people in your life while stepping out of the toxic area. Go back to old hobbies you used to enjoy, or adopt new pet, or reconnect with friends and family members, or start learning new skill, or just go discovering the country side and be open to new friends, and do not forget to keep a sharp eye on the red flags because victims of toxic relationships have greater possiblities to fall in love with a toxic person than the rest of us. I know the experience you went through made you stronger, so I am sure with taking care of these points you will regain your self confidence and your future. Wish you all the happiness from the bottom of my heart.

You might find yourself returning to a toxic relationship because of how close you once were with that person. Maybe you feel like they are a constant in your life and are very familiar, even though they have a negative impact on your mental health and life in general. You may also feel nervous and apprehensive about starting your life without them in it because they may have provided you with a sense of security. The world outside of that relationship can be frightening as it is full of uncertainties and unspoken rules and you don't have the toxic person to turn to when you feel anxious about it. Finally, the 'love' that the toxic person may have given you may reflect the same 'love' you received from your parents as a child if you also had a toxic relationship with your family. This could manifest as arguing, controlling, lack of trust, or a tumultuous relationship.

I came out of 2 years long toxic relationship and I can relate to this personally. I was being cheated on, lied to, and gaslighted when I confronted him. In my case, this usually happened because I told myself that only he can provide the kind of love and vibe I was getting from him. I had severe attachment issues and for me, one person was always enough. I kept going back because I thought that I can't ever vibe with anyone like I did with him. Throughout those 2 years, he was very kind, supportive, and sometimes very emotional too but on the other, he was always lying, cheating, and not caring as well. I chose to ignore the NOT part and only see what he did to make me feel better even tho it was scarcely provided. But I learned that this relationship had given me so many insecurities. We go back because we think that this is the love we deserve.

There is actually many reasons as to why we fall back into toxicity. One reason might be that we subconsciously want the love we think we deserve. Another is hope. If we put our hope into the wrong things it can cause great damage. Some people hope that their partner could change. So, they stay or come back into the relationship hoping that it could be different this time, which it prob won't. People who tend to go back into a toxic relationship doesn't fully grasp or understand their self worth enough. If you've dealt with toxicity you wouldn't risk your mental health again and jump right at it. You would leave proudly knowing you saved a lot of time and stress when doing so.

In toxic relationships, there are usually periods of extreme highs, followed by period of extreme lows. In those extreme highs, you feel very connected to your partner and the euphoria can feel magical. These highs can get addictive, and can be the reason why you keep wanting to go back to that relationship, even though you know it's unhealthy. There can also be a trauma bond, and that's especially true in abusive relationships. The unhealthy patterns become the new normal, and that's where it gets dangerous: the people involved can't see how bad their situation has gotten until it's too late.

Often times we stick to one person because one aspect of them brings us so much joy. Even if they make it hard for us to live our life, that one quality they have is the one thing we severely lack. We constantly want to fill voids within US so we seek them out and do anything possible to obtain them. People try to become complete and as they fill holes they end up making more holes. As long as you are able to find a replacement for those issues then it will become much easier to leave.

You may keep going back because you want to feel something in your life. And you want to believe and think that there is love there. It is perfectly normal and although its not necessarily healthy, it is a pretty common thing to do. Running back to toxic relationships can be a pretty big thing. You also may be running back because you don't want that person to be with another and treat them "better" than they did you. and you only want that for yourself. You may think that they are the only person that can bring you happiness and joy. However there are plenty more fish in the sea. :)

Toxic relationships have a weird magnetism that's fueled by a few lies we are told and tell ourselves. The first is that nobody could ever love us like that person does; the second is that we could never find anybody else as "great" as this person. Sometimes there's one big factor that has such an allure for each person that it seems too hard to walk away, even though both people know it's really not that good of a relationship. So, what to do? Recognize you don't have to be with someone, especially this person, to have value. Be willing to take a step in the direction of healing and risk feeling lonely at times to find out what you can do outside this relationship. After a time you can really get clear enough to reflect on the relationship and see what you would want to avoid in the future.

There are a lot of reasons you might go back to your toxic relationship. One may be because you love the person so much that you're willing to put yourself through that toxic cycle over and over again. Another may be because you think the days that are good are worth all the bad, toxic ones. Sometimes, we have to look deeper into ourselves too because we may think we deserve the treatment our partner gives us, therefore a large factor of this becomes our personal insecurities. And yet another reason also can be the fact that we don't want to be alone/

Feeling like you deserve the treatment that you're receiving, not knowing what a healthy relationship looks like, being scared of change, not knowing how to be comfortably alone with yourself and being alone with your feelings. Could also be that you've desperately put a lot of work into the relationship and don't want to let it go for fear that someone else could end up getting what you feel you've work so hard to get to. Not wanting to let go of the memories of and with that person so you conitinue to stay in the relationship despit knowing its not good for you

Sometimes we go back because it is a place that we know, and we find some sort of comfort in situations and people that we know already. Going back to someone you know already (even if it´s not the best for you) can be easier than starting over with someone new, or being by yourself for a while. We can even feel scared to do things differently. But since you have acknowledged that your relationship is not healthy, it is good that you are trying to break the cycle. Allow yourself to meet someone new and find someone that is good for you. The fear will disappear with time and you will remember the strength you used to have before this toxic relationship and find yourself again.

Sometimes it is due to the familiarity because that's the only relationship you know of and the need to feel wanted and have that attention. Sometimes it could be due to the shame and guilt. The feeling like you don't deserve happiness and to be loved by others. Depending on the toxic relationship, the other party can make you feel like you can't live without them and that no one else would accept you but that person. It could also be scary because you are not sure what a normal relationship is like and when you find yourself in one, you become unsure and confused because you are not used to feeling loved and being cared for.

In my personal experience with a toxic relationship I was scared to be alone and that I wouldn't find anyone better or people wouldn't want me. The fear held me back for awhile. You can get through it and make the best decision for yourself and there will be better people out there waiting to support and help you along the way! Just know that you are never alone and sometimes it can be painful and scary to leave someone that you spent so much time with. Just reflect and think if they are treating you for the best version of yourself ❤️

Returning to toxic situations can be a sign of personal unhappiness or instability. Ask yourself if this relationship is benefitting you in any way, or if you return because you feel as if you have to. As someone who returned to an abusive man on and off for four years, I understand the intense feelings that these relationships can present; however, I assessed my feelings. This intense desire to return to him was due to a bond that I made with him through trauma. He convinced me that I would never find someone else to love e as he did, and that I was meant to be with him since we had already endured so much. This is all untrue. If you are admitting that your relationship is toxic, that is a great first step. Set communication boundaries, and have some positive self-talk that you are fine without this relationship, and leave space to grow as a person. Personal growth often shows us that our previous thoughts and relationships were not very healthy.