How to tell your boyfriend or girlfriend you have depression?
94 Answers
Last Updated: 08/22/2021 at 9:40am
Moderated by
Aimee Wilson, LMHC
Counselor
I am a mental health counselor licensed in the state of Florida. I have been fully licensed for 5 years, however I have over 8 years of experience in the counseling field.
Top Rated Answers
Sometimes diving into the deep end can be scary for you and the other person. It can be hard to know where to start. Even just by asking for help and by telling your partner that you are struggling, can help create a starting point. The conversation can then be gently guided in the right direction by both people together.
Anonymous
February 21st, 2016 11:03pm
Well, you should just tell them! If they love you, it won't affect your relationship, except maybe making them love you even more.
Honestly, there is no specific way to tell them. You just go with whatever feels best. For me, i was laying in bed with him, and i just came out with it. He was shocked at my outburst, but was fine with the whole thing. Honestly, you needn't worry.
Invite them to your home, or somewhere you feel comfortable. If you can, try and tell them slowly with words and make sure to reassure them it's completely not their fault. If you struggle using words, write it all down on paper, and get them to read it, the first step to feeling better is getting help. They will appreciate the fact that you told them
Sometimes it can be hard to tell when a loved one is depressed. Perhaps they have recently stopped participating in some of their regular activities such as sports or social gatherings. There might be a change in the music they listen to. Look for unusual changes in your partners eating and sleeping patterns.
Explain the symptoms - they've probably already seen them - and what you're doing to try and change those things about you. Someone who is your mate will be very interested.
Depression is a difficult 'feeling' to have. it's alot easier to not tell people that you are unhappy just because telling them may make them unhappy too. The sooner you tell someone the quicker your recovery can be.
Anonymous
February 17th, 2016 7:20pm
First you need to be completely honest with your boyfriend or girlfriend. You need to open your heart and tell them everything that push you in depression.
It is the right thing to tell him where you are at. If you have depression then tell him. Simply explain where you are at but you must be doing something about your depression and recover. Hopefully he is a good person and is supportive.
Make sure you're in a comfortable surrounding. You need to feel safe and secure. And sit down with eachother and talk. Start off with your problem and explain how it makes you feel.
If you are in a relationship with someone who you feel comfortable around then you should be able to express your feelings to them without worrying about negative or triggering consequences
Anonymous
February 14th, 2016 7:27pm
Before you do tell them, ask yourself if you're safe with them knowing your feelings. I know that they're dating you, but there are things you can't always tell them. If you feel like your answer is yes, try not to say it in obvious words, but to hint to it. That eases anxiety for when you do talk to them about it.
I would just tell them straight out and be honest about it.I think telling them would help them understand better.I would ask if they had any questions and answer them for them too.
You don't have to speak just for them to notice that you are depressed. If that person knows you so much they could probably notice it. And if they are going to ask you, just be honest to them. If you love your partner very much and you trust him enough, you could probably share to them what is inside your mind. Don't be afraid because if your partner loves you enough. He/She could accept and help you.
Anonymous
March 6th, 2016 8:18pm
I understand you. Say: "I have depression; a disease that makes me sad. I'm like everybody else, I just get sad sometimes more than you do." Smile, and don't try to make it a big deal!
Anonymous
March 17th, 2016 9:42pm
Sit down with them and have an honest conversation. Explain to them the reason for your depression and work on it together.
Ask to talk with them privately, and that it is a personal issue. Once you two get to a private place, bring up your depression issue.
i believe that couples should be able to be honest with each other and assist each others in time of need, with that said, i think that asking for help by simply asking for it might yield the best results
You should be very calm and open when you tell them! Be in a private place and be straightforward. They should understand.
Anonymous
March 13th, 2016 12:11pm
first of all explain thy didn't cause this. explain how you feel and tell them about the steps you are taking to get through this situation. please do it as soon as you can, don't delay sometimes we people take too long to be honest about it until its too late and your relationship is ruined. in my case my boyfriend is the one who picked up that am depressed before i even told him but am glad he's sticking by my side and helping me through it.
You should make it a face to face conversation. Explain to him/her exactly how you've been feeling. Let them know your thoughts. You should open up and try not to hold anything back. If you're nervous about approaching this conversation then let them know that.
I know it's kind of embarrassing but then again, they deserve to know it. So, pick up a quiet place and tell him/her that you're depressed. He/she might help you out!
It can be overwhelming and frightening to share your feelings of depression with your significant other. Make some time to be alone with your partner when you are both relaxed. When telling your partner, let them know that it isn't their fault or anything they have or haven't done. Starting the conversation this way should help avoid a defensive reaction. Be honest about your feelings and let them know what, if anything, you are planning to do about your depression. Let them know if you need help from them, and ask for specific things. For instance, instead of saying "I hope you will be here for me", be more specific, "I could use more hugs and praise from you while I am going through this". End the conversation with a positive thought about how their support has been helpful.
Anonymous
March 7th, 2016 6:23am
Choose a situation where we feel cool and have to listen no there will be no disturbance and make him understand
Telling a love interest that you have depression is like telling them you have diabetes or asthma. It is something that you live with and it all comes down to whether or not you are willing to take the next step. Before telling your loved one about your depression, you have to admit it to yourself and accept it. When you have accepted it, telling your loved one won't be difficult.
Sit them down and then tell them exactly how you feel/been feeling. How long you have felt this way for etc. they should understand and still love you for who you are no matter what because they are your boyfriend/girlfriend.
Based on personal experience, I just came out and told by boyfriend. Although, we were friends before we started dating and he was who I confined everything with. I basically just started off telling him that I take medicine for a couple things, but it's just to help to make me feel happier. He was very open and understanding. It has helped our relationship because now if he knows I'm in a bad mood or if I am feeling off, then he actually knows what's causing those feelings. It has made us a lot closer know that he knows about my depression.
Anonymous
March 6th, 2016 5:16am
I think you should sit them down in person, and just straight up say you have depression, explain to them what it's like and that it's a mental/emotional issue you have no control over, and why you have depression if you know why and you're comfortable;e sharing. Make sure they understand it's not just being 'sad,' and that they will love and support you through it
You can sit down your boyfriend/girlfriend and let them know that you have something important and serious you would like to discuss with them. The best way to do it is to tell them directly, then ask them if they have any questions.
If your boyfriend or girl friend loves and cares about you . Then why would you be hesitant in telling them about your depression ? There is no right or wrong way to tell someone you have depression . You just need to see the right situation, time and place to confine in your partner
Related Questions: How to tell your boyfriend or girlfriend you have depression?
What do you do when you have no passion or drive?My anxiety is getting worse and depression won't let me live my life, how do I overcome this?I feel sad a lot, unmotivated, and I often can't stop crying for many hours. But I sleep and eat decently and I also can smile or laugh sometimes. Am I depressed or just sad?How to get things done professionaly at work when I'm very depressed?How do I keep myself from getting to attached to people?I am struggling with codependency and depression. I cannot afford therapy. What can I do to get help?How do I help explain to a parent that what I feel is valid after they reacted badly?How can I open up to people more even if it scares me?How to deal with depression fallout?Why do I hate myself so much?