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How to tell your boyfriend or girlfriend you have depression?

94 Answers
Last Updated: 08/22/2021 at 9:40am
How to tell your boyfriend or girlfriend you have depression?
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Katherine Aucoin, Transpersonal Counselling Psychology


I offer you compassion and support on your unique journey. I look forward to working with you to heal your emotional wounds and find more freedom and joy.

Top Rated Answers
March 19th, 2016 12:32am
You sit down with them and make sure they completely understand what depression is and how you deal with it.
March 24th, 2016 5:20pm
I would sit him or her down in a natural manner, express the emotions I have been experiencing, calmly, reassure my significant other that he/she and I will be okay, because developing a sense of happiness, purpose, and fulfillment is just a part of life; something we all go through. We all experience long to short periods of time in sadness and there is always an available solution for such times, as long as we are enlightened, and we are enlightened through proper care and help..
March 25th, 2016 5:48pm
Tell him/her you are in a bad moment, and that his/her help will be essential for your improvement. That should be a good way for him to understand it.
March 25th, 2016 8:40pm
Ask to talk to them. Tell them exactly how you feel, every last little bit. And if they are unsupportive, then they are not a good partner. Remember that it's normal for them to get upset or angry, or even blame themselves. Just stay strong and everything will work out.
March 26th, 2016 6:47pm
Just talk to them openly. It'll be hard but not impossible. If you're in a serious relationship you should have trust in each other and even though it's hard to talk about it, with bringing it up you'll show that you trust him/her and hopefully he/she will give you support you deserve.
March 27th, 2016 12:02am
Just have them sit down and and tell them that you have depression (you could write them a letter, text, call, or meet in person). If they don't take it well and they treat you badly because of it, I suggest you leave them. Because them not accepting and helping you won't help you get better :)
March 31st, 2016 3:37am
you could come out and just tell them or you can get a best friend to tell them if you are not comfortable saying it.
March 31st, 2016 8:56am
Be honest with them, and just tell them what's been going on. They should be supportive and appreciative of your honesty and help you through it.
March 31st, 2016 7:02pm
This question can only truly be answered by you. How do you want to approach it? How do you believe him/her will react? You are the only one who knows this person, I don't now this person so I cannot truly give you an answer that will ensure success. I hope I've helped you in anyway,
April 3rd, 2016 5:10am
Approach them and tell them you wish to discuss something about yourself, preferably in private. Proceed to tell him about what's been troubling you, saying that you just thought that they should know or whatever reason you have for telling them.
April 7th, 2016 6:52am
Honesty. Being honest is the key to any successful relationship. Long terms it'll benefit you and your bf/gf. Rather overcome it together with support than none.
April 7th, 2016 7:42pm
Sit them down and talk about it openly. Depression is something that should be talked about without is being taboo, they will support you
April 9th, 2016 8:44pm
Your partner will do whatever they can to help and support you. The best way to tell them is to be very honest and open to any questions, and you should reassure them that it is not because of them so they don't feel responsible or guilty.
April 10th, 2016 9:52pm
You can start by telling them about your symptoms and then explain to them about how the illness works.
April 13th, 2016 4:47am
Just tell them! :) They definitely will understand you if they truly love you for who you are. Otherwise its about time to move on.
April 15th, 2016 10:50pm
This is a really difficult one! It might start in small ways, for example, just by mentioning the word in conversation and see how they react. If you don't feel up to telling them in person, maybe a text or email with a link to a blog post or website that you feel might help them understand?
April 21st, 2016 6:32am
Telling a significant other can be extremely difficult, but it could very well be extremely beneficial, as you would have a great support system. I recommend sitting down with your boyfriend/girlfriend and explaining exactly what you're feeling. Make sure to have answers to any questions this person may have and even have some resources available for them to do some research. It's also a good idea to have an idea of how you want this person to help you.
April 22nd, 2016 10:17pm
Just be yourself. Tell what you feel. But be ready not all people understand what it means. It is better to start to talk about your worries and see the reaction.
April 27th, 2016 12:30am
Just talk freely about what you have, explain that's more than just a feeling. He/she will try understand that and have support is always helpful to get out of depression.
April 27th, 2016 2:26am
You can tell if you're boyfriend or girlfriend has depression if her mood suddenly changes, she gets serious all the time and self-harm (if she did)
April 27th, 2016 7:38pm
You could either chose to go a direct route or if it makes you uncomfortable you could subtly do it over a certain amount of time. It is important to understand that not everyone can pick up on subtle hints so you may have to be more direct as time goes on. Find a time where both of you won't be in a bad or stressed mood. Know that if you do sit down and have a talk, you will most likely be getting into sensitive subjects. If you need to, you can tell your boyfriend or girlfriend your level of comfort with the subject before going in depth with the conversation.
April 27th, 2016 10:19pm
Telling your significant other about your depression is a scary thing. You might be afraid that it will change how things are between you, but it's something that they need to know. One great thing about telling them you're struggling is that you will have one more person you can go to when you are feeling particularly down.
April 28th, 2016 7:28am
Choose a time and place where you feel the most safe and then be honest. Show them any resources that might help them understand the condition better.
May 17th, 2016 6:30am
Allude them. Call them up. Text them. Meet them. Be you, there's nothing to hide from your significant other. Just... let them know! There are so many ways to start it. If they truly love you, they'll definitely be on your side and walk with you.
August 29th, 2016 12:51am
Its best to just be honest. Just let the truth of how youre feeling come out. If they really care for you they will be there to help
August 30th, 2016 2:47am
Be honest and straightforward. If you are unable to trust your feelings with your significant other, they are not for you. Your partner should be more than willing to ask how they can be of help.
October 10th, 2016 5:54pm
The NHS have a range of symptoms to check for when it comes to depression and it is best to look there if you are concerned. Have you tried speaking to them about their mood? If they sound hopeless or sad or pessimistic they could depressed. Physical changes as well such as lack of appetite and or changes in sleep pattern should also be looked out for. Generally, if they don't seem themselves, maybe suggest getting a doctor to professionally give their opinion.
October 31st, 2016 1:38pm
You sit down with them and quietly have a civilized conversation about it, speak up and tell them about it but assure them it isn't their fault and you just need them to be there for you.
March 13th, 2017 4:53am
This might seem hard, but being open is probably the best thing. They love you, and they want to know how they can help. :)
February 5th, 2019 11:07pm
Before discussing your a mental illnesses with your partner, it's better that you go into the conversation with a few reactions in mind. How you partner responds will be a look into who they are as an individual, and how they would and/or could support you in the future. Talk to your partner when you feel comfortable enough and ready, this can be blurting it out when you are crying, or when you are watching a movie. Whenever and where ever as long as you don't force it, and don't talk until you're ready. Be clear to your partner how you feel, it's difficult for someone to understand what you're going through if they've never experienced it themselves. You can start the conversation by saying positive things about your relationship. Tell your partner that because of your love and support, you have to share something potentially difficult. After describing your mental health condition, finish on a more positive note by describing what treatments you've followed, what has helped you, and what you've learned about yourself and other people as a result of mental illness. NAMI can help you, in information and support