What to do when my parents say I have no right to be depressed because they gave me everything?
Last Updated: 05/28/2019 at 3:51pm
Alex DS Ellis, MA, LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
Feeling depressed or anxious can be so overwhelming. I want to help you feel better and be able to enjoy life. You are not alone and you deserve emotional support.
Top Rated Answers
This is a frequent statement told to many chronically depressed people. I think that when parents say this to children, it's because they feel as if they've given you a good life and that you're being ungrateful. We both know that's not the case, but it's easy for some people not to realize that depression is inside the head. Sometimes everything around you is wonderful but it's your thoughts that dampen everything. The thing is, depression can make even the things you once enjoyed seem dull. Let them know that you appreciate them and that it isn't necessarily them, or anything they have or haven't done. Depression causes people to feel stuck, lost, empty, sometimes for seemingly no specific reason. You feel down about everything and sometimes we don't even know why. A lot of the time telling someone "you have no reason to feel depressed" actually makes the feeling a LOT worse. It makes us feel guilty, because we don't want the people around us to think that we don't appreciate them or we're ungrateful. Just tell them you need them, that its not their fault nor your's. It's like telling someone who's chronically ill "You have no right to be sick, the weather is nice" Sometimes we just get sick and it's not the weathers fault.
Oh, so parents tell us what we should feel? Dumbest thing i've read this day. Well just live your life, and seek professional help if you need it.
Depression isn't something a person deserves or have a right to. If anything, you have the right to seek help and support for it. Depression is a disease that doesn't discriminate, one that's taken away many people's lives, both figuratively and literally. Someone saying you don't have the right to be depressed because you're well off is like telling an athlete they don't qualify to get cancer. I would suggest that if your parents aren't as supportive as you'd like at this moment, seek help elsewhere, on here or with people in your life you trust. Maybe when you feel a little more confident or secure you can sit down with them and have a discussion about what you need. Who knows, you might end up educating them about mental health. I wish you all the best, and take care.
Sadly this is a massive issue of ignorance. It's the equivalent of saying you have no right to be ill because you wash your hands. Having everything you need in life is great, but it doesn't make you immune to mental illness. I think conveying that it has nothing to do with them and is entirely to do with you is a really great idea initially. Even if you resort to taking them to the doctors so that the doctor can explain.
Tell them that depression does not come from material loss, at least not root from it. If you are a teenager, you can tell them depression is normal during puberty, along with anxiety. You have every right in the world to feel whatever you wish to feel. Hope this helped, and I hope you're doing well! :)
Please ask your parents to sit down and listen to you for a few minutes. Try and explain to them that every day you wake up NOT wanting to feel this way and everyday it breaks your heart that they feel it has been caused by something lacking on their part. Please start by acknowledging their pain. Ask them if they would take you to counselling so that you can get the help you need. Give the therapist permission to talk to them about what you are going through. This is why I am giving this advice: When my life started falling apart as a young adult I naturally turned to my mother and begged her to take me for counselling. She could not stop asking the psychologist what she had done wrong for me to turn out this way and he helped her to understand that even though my pain was real there was nothing she could have done to prevent it. (I was brought up in an incredibly loving caring home by amazing parents, by the way.) We continued to get counselling together and became so much closer in the end. I really hope you are able to find a way to resolve this.
Sadly, I think a lot of people feel this way about depression. They don't understand that it isn't something that you choose. Having everything doesn't mean that you can't be depressed. Your parents may be feeling like your depression is a result of them not providing you with what you need. Parents can be really hard on themselves. I would suggest explaining to your parents that it isn't that they don't give you everything you need, it's just that you're going through some mental health issues and you need support.
You can try to explain to them that depression isn't something based on how much somebody has. It is a mental illness and can come out of anywhere. From my personal experience, parents don't tend to understand what is meant by depression. They don't understand that it doesn't always derive from something bad happening in your life, or not liking something, or not having enough. Instead, they think of it as being sad because something is wrong. In reality, depression is a mental illness which can spark for no reason. You can try to explain this to your parents so they have a better understanding.
That depression isn't about having a right to it. How there's more to depression than material value, and it effects all kinds of people regardless of their living situation. Support is needed, not judgement. :)
I wouldn't advice on what to do but I surely feel that you should incline to speak to them in a respective and understanding manner. Find out what depressive emotions you are facing and the root cause of it basically. You shouldn't be alone when facing this.
Depression is more a mental illness. Like all illnesses, it doesn’t give a damn whether you live rich or poor lives. Depression can strike anyone at any time
Sometimes it's not one thing that can lead to your depression. It's a mix of everything sometimes and if you haven't already, you'll realize that soon enough. Everything which has created problems for you in your life is too much for you to handle. If your parents are not a reason why you are depressed, explain this to them. Personally I have dealt with a situation like this. Your depression is not relying on them to thrive. Every problem around you is creating a tougher sadness more and more and it's not necessarily your parents. I hope this works out for you.
Everyone has the right to their own feelings and emotions try to write them a letter telling them you need their support
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