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Why can't I win at anything?

18 Answers
Last Updated: 07/03/2018 at 9:15pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Lindsay Scheinerman, MA, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

My work with clients is to help them recognize and build on their strengths to find solutions for the conflicts presented in their lives.

Top Rated Answers
May 11th, 2015 2:27pm
I'm so sorry to hear about this. It must be very frustrating and disappointing to often encounter failing stuffs. The good news is you are treating yourself too hard. You are way better than you think you are. And you win many times already that you weren't aware of. Think carefully, are you sure that you have never won anything in your life ? Okay, have you remember of the times that you won? very good. So your problem is you are too focus on the fail times, not the win times. Please recognize that we are only human. We are not saint. Normally people make mistakes and failures 100 times more than success. So keep in mind the ratio of 1/100 and keep doing stuff. The more you are doing it, the better chance you will win.
September 21st, 2015 4:26am
"Anything" is a vague term. Im sure there are some things you do win at! But in general, this may be because you dont have enough skill in what your trying, it could be a lack of self confidence, or among other things. Build skills to improve, and stay confident!
June 16th, 2015 4:15pm
Hey, failure happens to everyone! It really, really does. In fact, what defines success isn't no failure, it's overcoming failure time and time again. Even if it seems like you fail at everything, what's important is to keep trying. Don't be discouraged.
Anonymous - Expert in Depression
November 17th, 2015 4:06am
You simply do not recognize your wins, and only concentrate on the loss. Look at you! Everyday you wake up is a win, every drink of water and every bite of food is a win, every time you get out the house, or talk to a person is a win! There are so many wins, but they've become so common that you disregard them. I suggest you keep a list of all these daily wins, that way you'll learn how to appreciate yourself more.
April 7th, 2015 1:56pm
The reasons behind you not being able to win anything would be a fear of failure so you don't even take the time to even try.
July 7th, 2015 3:11pm
im sure that that isnt true !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! everybody is good at something and you cant of tried everything
August 10th, 2015 2:55pm
You may believe you're not doing anything right, but I'm sure that from someone else's point of view, you're doing so many great things. Sometimes we tend to focus of the negative stuff and this blinds us until we can barely see anything good about ourselves and our life, instead we should try to see the positive things in life, which are always many, no matter how bad the situation is.
November 27th, 2015 3:27pm
You may win, too, and yes, sometimes we lose. The lesson may be to learn to accept losses, and to learn to move on. I feel there with you, journey fellow...
July 3rd, 2018 9:15pm
Just because we don't win or gain something we automatically think we've lost. The journey, the effort, and the experience all count. Sometimes we need to look at things differently and approach it with a fresh mindset, especially if it is something that we try to win/gain more than once. Sometimes it isn't something we are meant to obtain at that moment. In my opinion not winning is greater because of the potential learning experiences we have to gain.
February 1st, 2016 10:55pm
Because you are not trying enough. Sometimes people get tired too soon and we believe everything is falling apart, but the secret is that you have to deal with the fatigue
March 21st, 2016 11:50pm
You'll learn more from your losses than you ever will from your wins. Learning more about why you lost is another way of learning about yourself, why you lost; then the better you start to know yourself, the more likely you are to win.
August 8th, 2016 4:04pm
Winning makes us feel important, and more significant. Two very big deals for every human being. We need to feel that we matter. However if you condition your own self worth by comparing yourself to others, you will never feel happy about yourself, because there are always better people at anything. What there are not, are people that are just as good as you in the particular things you are good at. You are probably good at multiple things to some extent, and the combination of those things can be more than the sum of its parts. If you always focus on what you can't do, you'll be blind to what you can. What I mean here is for example, a person who is really good at spriting is never going to win a race, while a person who has really good endurance is unlikely to, either. But a person with just the right combination of both, moderate capabilities overall, could probably win.
October 24th, 2016 11:33pm
Define win? Ask yourself why you want to win? Why it means so much that you do win? and what's wrong with losing? What have you done to ensure you win?
February 2nd, 2016 6:44pm
You can, you just might not feel that you can. If you go out thinking "I can't win" , then you will definitely not win. Try to think "I can do this!"
October 26th, 2015 4:56pm
life is not about winning its about learning from your mistakes, but it would be nice to win stuff
February 28th, 2017 6:07pm
Well some times things are hard to win but it's ok to loss winning isn't everything sometimes losing can make you able to try harder
November 13th, 2017 4:13pm
I guess i have a rather nevative attitude which stops me frtom putting my heart fully into much. Besides 7cups, I've never really connected with people or tried to specifically win or strive for succession.
December 5th, 2017 4:15pm
Not everything is a competition, some people work better when they are not under pressure to do so. Sometimes being a winner doesn't necessarily mean winning anything, but taking part. That is what counts.