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Why do I feel bad about the past?

29 Answers
Last Updated: 11/03/2021 at 3:19pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Tracy-Kate Teleke, PsyD, M.A., LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
May 31st, 2016 8:01am
Because it reminds of the bad things about me. Knowing the things that I have been through, and the people who made me into an entirely different being, makes me sick to the bone. It makes me cringe, every time a memory of my past flashes in my head, I have that sudden urge to get upset because of these unsettling events that had happened. It reminds of of who I'm not, and it sickens me.
Anonymous
July 6th, 2015 12:19pm
probably because u havent made peace with it, meaning theres still something about your past that bothers you that is still stuck in your head and u need to take it
Anonymous
July 17th, 2017 6:14pm
It's not uncommon for people to think of their past and feel bad about certain events that took place in it. A lot of people wish they had the chance to go back and fix their mistakes or do something over and better in order to save certain situation. It is a very understandable and rational worry to have. However, what's done is done. There is really no need to dwell on the things that have already been said and done. Instead, you should try to learn from your past. Learn from your mistakes, learn from your regrets, in order to become a better person and not repeat them. Your past is a part of your history, a part of what makes you, You. It does not define you in any way, it's merely a few pages of your story. So don't worry over things that are long gone.
Dhara94
May 17th, 2015 9:32am
An answer to this is maybe because it has left you with bitter experiences. But then,without those memories and lessons, it would not have been possible to become a better person and be all that you are today. Probably,learning from the mistakes of the past can make the guilt and pain fade away.
ssenippah
September 27th, 2016 6:44pm
Our past has all those stories which could have been altogether different had we or the circumstances they were in been different. The past may keep with it an unfulfilled wish or an untold story. But, more important than anything, it is the natural trait of a human mind to incessantly dwell in the past, replaying and recreating those stories, every time with a different version. Then carrying it up to the present moment and wondering how it would have been had it gone this way. The truth, however, is that the story is over and all you could do is to embark upon a new one instead of sailing on a phantom ship in the oceans of your mind.
FlowerInDisguise19
May 21st, 2015 8:11am
We feel bad about the past because it can be daunting, plus, if your mind lingers on in the past it can make you feel worse, like you're stuck in the past, you just have to try and gradually move on from it and you'll feel way better, I know its hard but slowly as time goes by it wont be so hard for you, time heals all wounds.
originalLion57
June 4th, 2015 1:16pm
Most likely because something happened and it hurt you. And it hurts to think back on it so you'd rather avoid it and suppress it because the pain scares you.
CheerfulSpirit
February 8th, 2016 4:37pm
Because you can't let go of it. What happened in the past stays in the past. Somebody should only look at the past as a guide. And make sure he doesn't make the same mistakes. There is no point in feeling bad about it forever.
Spiderman93
June 23rd, 2015 2:56am
Sometimes our past is something that we wish we could change. Try and remember this though; the past is the past. Whats done is done. You can only go up from there. Best wishes.
PashT007
June 6th, 2015 4:39am
Sometimes when we don't forgive ourselves, we tend to focus on the things that went wrong and we get stuck in that mainframe. It may be time to let the past remain in the pass. Move on, live life.
mylifeistolove
November 30th, 2015 7:01pm
Its only because you are thinking only your mistakes from past. Try to remember your best times from the past. Think about the time you were most happy... and remember this.. we could never learn with out mistakes.
Acorns52
September 13th, 2016 6:07am
Because I feel as if everything is my fault. Nothing I ever do is good enough. I feel as if I could have bettered myself.
ImaginaryPainting
October 26th, 2016 2:15pm
It's normal to feel bad about the past -to a certain extent-. We can't go back there and repair our mistakes. A way of feeling a bit better about it can be asking ourselves what did we learn from the past and try to accept it/make peace with it, forgive.
DeeHeartToHeartTalk
June 20th, 2016 10:35am
I feel bad about the past because I am still learning to accept, to forgive and to let go. Only after I work on myself, I can feel good about the past because no matter how unpleasant it was, it was actually the things that build my strength and resilience.
PosiPotato
February 12th, 2018 6:12am
It's ok to feel bad. I try to remind myself that it's normal to feel, to accept the feeling as a temporary, but real emotion.
Anonymous
May 18th, 2021 1:36pm
Well, it depends really. You see, when we are younger, we tend to be very brash, careless and more or less dont care about consequences or others' feelings. We humans as we grow, we mature and learn to understand and listen to others and these nostalgic memories and all the wrong we did to people in the past, they just pull us down and make us feel guilty. researchers found that when you're nostalgic or thinking about your past, you're usually thinking about your close relationships, or a place that's important to you. Its common to feel guilty about the past and its important that we overcome our guilts and work on fixing it
Purplex
January 16th, 2017 10:11am
We, as humans, hold on to our pasts. Whether it's remembering happy memories or sad times. As we enter the present, we start to rethink on whether we made the right decisions, chose the right paths for ourselves, listened to the right people, or simply being that we ponder on whether we could have changed the way in which our lives resulted in. We contemplate on all the things that have happened to us and wonder whether, in the end, it made us a better person or not. We hold grudges and doubts, feel insecure about the outcome - in which we feel we could have changed. We are afraid to admit to ourselves that what we are is final. We choose our fate, and yet we still feel threatened by our choices. But with time, we learn to move on, to forgive but not forget, to cherish the precious moments left, to love the people we care about, and learn that the past is the past for a reason. One that we cannot change but instead learn deeply from. We learn to accept.
Anonymous
November 3rd, 2021 3:19pm
Hello, we feel bad because it's a memory in our mind, the guilt and bad things, we try to forget don't seem to get away easily. We can try to ignore the thoughts. We can try to forget them by doing good things and focusing on the present to make the future better 💙 We are all with you 💙 If you need you can talk to me, I am here to listen to you. There are many listeners here too so feel free to reach out 💙 Reading books and music will help. Try to be calm 💙 it's okay.
Anonymous
September 29th, 2015 10:17am
A lot of people feel bad about the past for a number of reason. The hugest reason I find is regret. So many people have said to themselves "If only I had known then what I know now." It isn't unusual to feel bad about the past but all you can do is move forward. Make amends where you need to, but most importantly don't worry about the past but just embrace the present.
peachicus
October 24th, 2016 11:40pm
Possibly because you don't like how you yourself has imprinted on it and effected it. It's quite a big question
MusicHelpsTheSoul97
October 17th, 2016 6:11am
Some people are never able to let go of the past because sometimes people carry around guilt of the consequences or actions that happened.
Anonymous
April 10th, 2017 11:36pm
Is there a particular event from the past making you feel bad? It is completely natural to look back on things you would have changed or would have done differently. What can you learn from the experiences that are making you feel bad?
PuneethAL
June 27th, 2017 4:17pm
One feel bad about past when he or she isnot happy with what happened.but here d point is why are you considering d effect of past as u can do nothing about it ?forget it.move on. Do not let ur past blackmail present to ruin a beautiful future.
Anonymous
January 15th, 2018 7:35pm
It's never easy to let go of your past. It surely depends on what hardships you went through, if they were significant or insignificant. But there's this saying and it goes a little something like this: ''Sometimes holding on does more damage than letting go.'' and I couldn't agree more. If you want to move on with your life, you need to start letting go of your past
Anonymous
April 8th, 2015 7:56am
Sometimes we feel bad about the past because there are things there that may not have been resolved, or things that we never spoke about. It's important to remember, that the past, is in the past, but sometimes it can need revisiting to sort through this bad feeling
Anonymous
January 8th, 2019 7:59am
It's okay to feel bad about the past if there's just bad stuff in your past. Try to think about them as objectively as possible and learn from them if there's anything to learn. If you think that you made some bad choices try to avoid them in the future. Remembering the past and yes, feeling bad about it can actually help you make better choices in the future. Feeling bad about your past in not necessarily a bad thing. You have your present to live through and your future that is coming along. Can't avoid those anyway, so better learn from the past deal with what's ahead as best as you can. Use reason and think for yourself.
Anonymous
June 3rd, 2019 7:25pm
Because you can't change anything about the past even if you really want to. The best thing to do is to talk about the part in the past you feel bad about and try to accept or understand the situation or happening. Talking about the past with people who are close to me has helped me to understand why things have happened and made me accept it. After talking about it things became easier and I started to think different about current situations but also other parts in the past who were not that bad. Long story short: you feel bad because you can't change it but you can talk about it to understand it.
MatiTaylor
April 8th, 2015 3:17am
You need to accept the past in order to move past it. If you don't accept the past then you can't forgive yourself.
Anonymous
January 25th, 2015 4:26pm
It's natural, because you can't fix it, because people say "the past is in the past", because there's no going back