Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

I hate my husband or wife. Why?

138 Answers
Last Updated: 12/17/2021 at 2:32pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Smita Joshi, BA Psychology / MA / Advanced EFT Practitioner


I am empathetic with my Clients going through emotional overwhelm and passionate in helping them. I am supportive, openminded & interactive in helping my clients.

Top Rated Answers
May 1st, 2016 2:54pm
A lot of times we marry someone who has a lot of charaqcteristics of one of our parents. We are replicating a relationship we are used to and in somer way also trying to heal ourselves by creating again the situations that wounded us and hoping we can overcome it. Just as our parents push our buttonns and made us feel strong emotions and even hate so too our spouses arouse ths same emotions in us and a times we hate them
May 13th, 2016 5:13pm
It might not be hate your feeling. Sometimes when people are together for a long time in a living situation or just a relationship, they grow to resent them and pick out all their flaws because they know them too well and have been around them for too long. You should sift through this and find out if it really is hate or just a mess of emotions you've never really confronted.
April 27th, 2016 4:14pm
Workaholic, disrespects woman/man, rude, miser/greedy, dowry, false allegations, playboy, unfaithful, cheater, selfish
August 5th, 2016 2:56am
you may not be in love with her or him anymore, you may have stopped having sexual attractions to him or her?
June 11th, 2017 5:44am
Is it because they are abusive towards you? Or something in particular they did that made you upset?
May 18th, 2016 2:33pm
Talk to them about it, it may actually help you. Because they might never know and then you divorce them and they be like: Whaaa?
May 13th, 2016 12:44am
You might hate them because they might have mistreated you or they are too busy and not paying enough attention to you. Try to get them to be more active or talk to them.
May 19th, 2016 3:13am
Listen, lack of communication may be why you Two are "disconnected" try speaking to eachother, respect eachother opinions and emotions and try to come up with a compromise.
June 2nd, 2016 6:16pm
I'm not in your shoes, so I don't know why, but you should try to figure out the reason why you feel that way. Did they abuse you? Did something which upset you? How long have you felt this way? Did you tell them?
August 10th, 2016 5:40am
Usually it's because of something you have done and feel guilty about and are projecting it onto them, or they have done something that has hurt you and you feel you can't forgive them for it, or you just no longer love them but don't want to leave them so hate them because of the situation you are in. Usually it's emotional or situational between the two of you. Communication often helps or if you feel it's right, leaving can help.
September 8th, 2016 1:59am
I have felt this way about someone before but its may not be hate but a feeling that we consider hate. Sometimes we misunderstand our feelings and go with them when they may not be correct.
October 23rd, 2016 1:37pm
Only you can answer this. I can assume you are harboring resentment towards them, but the question for you is why? What did they do to make you stop loving them?
November 13th, 2016 5:08pm
I hated my husband during a very dark time in my life. When I look back, I realize that I actually hated myself.
April 8th, 2017 12:48pm
It could be due to some issues you could be having, which you could talk to them about and try to identify the problem or it could be due to loss of attraction
July 21st, 2017 10:01pm
Only you can really answer that question. Would you say you resent them for something they have done in the past? Or perhaps a bad habit they have? Ask yourself those questions and maybe you'll find the answer.
April 13th, 2016 3:59pm
Maybe you don't like doing nothing. I think most married people dont don't enough together. If that's the case try getting out more with your patner.
April 15th, 2016 3:32am
Because your relation isint mutual anymore. If you really hate them then you need to talk it out or try couple therapy
April 28th, 2016 8:43pm
Maybe something is happened between you too and you don't talk and don't solve it ! why not trying to try counseling ?
May 1st, 2016 10:05am
Trick question, I don't hate him. I hate that he makes everything look so easy sometimes. It can be frustrating for me when I can't get something as quickly as he does, but I love that he is willing to take the extra few minutes to help me out.
May 6th, 2016 9:53am
We never hate anyone for all the time but due to time and situations which is not in our favour makes us image in our mind with a word hate which can leads very great impact.we will never be in a condition for hating somebody if we stop trying to control or dominate others and if we can control our ego such things never make us to hate anybody
May 6th, 2016 5:50pm
That question can only be answered by yourself? What has made you hate your loved one? What event has changed your love for them? Are you only saying this because you are angry right now?
May 8th, 2016 11:41am
I think you're the only one that can answer this question. Have they treated you badly? Are they dismissive or unsupportive? Is it something they have done, or is the problem yours? Relationships are complicated and difficult, and require constant work to keep afloat, I would try to look at yourself, see what issues you have. Look at your partner and see what they might be going through and then look at the ways this is affecting your relationship. Try to open a dialogue, be honest and clear with them and if you both want to fix it, you can work on it together. Couples therapy is always an option, but empathy, compassion, reminding each other why you're together, openness and honesty is a start.
May 12th, 2016 5:40pm
I cannot tell you why, you have to look within yourself to find that answer. Hating someone usually has a root and finding that may help to resolve the issue.
May 21st, 2016 9:23pm
Sometimes being with someone for a long period of time can expose all of their features: good or bad and if we are not used to seeing all of them we can get angry.
May 22nd, 2016 10:50pm
There is a fine line between love and hate. Both are intense emotions and really the only way a person can emotionally hurt us is if we allow them, love. We marry a person usually under falisfied illusion of who they are... not because they are trying to trick us, but because we excuse and ignore things we don't like in the beginning. We have dreams and our spouse is part of them, when they don't live upto those dreams we are devestated and that easily turns into hate.
May 26th, 2016 1:31am
Sometimes I hate my husband because we both have a common goal of buying our family home. Instead of saving for our deposit, he keeps spending money on a car that is never going to run the way he likes it. I have seen him spend oer $70,000 in the last two years on this car. Sadly that is a nice house deposit right there. We could be living in our dream home instead were still renting and paying someone elses mortgage.
May 29th, 2016 12:03pm
Probably he/she does things that makes you mad and then you try to get over every tging they do but it's all getting buried inside you so you get out automatically as hatred
June 1st, 2016 6:38pm
You are the only person truly qualified to answer that question. You need to reflect back upon your relationship and think back to when this change began, and identify what triggered that change in your relationship. Good luck to you, I hope you find the answers you seek and it works out in a positive manner for you. Take care.
June 2nd, 2016 5:51am
Wow....hate is such a strong word. The things you might want to ask yourself are "what" hate truly means to you and "why" do you feel that you hate your spouse? Then the next step would be is to perhaps include your partner of your feelings and why you feel the way you do. Only then can you then take the next steps to figuring out what you want and what you want to do. (Whether it be counseling or therapy for yourself or together). Or someone or some way to help you sort out your feelings and what the best move is next in your life.
June 2nd, 2016 6:45pm
Well I don't have wife now and in future itz sure I will not hurt him. I will adore her , care her like anythng.. Well if someone hate then your both ideas are not still kept something as a secret with you partner