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What do I do when my husband ignores me?

161 Answers
Last Updated: 12/05/2020 at 3:26am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Melissa Hudson, MS Ed, PhD(c), LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I work with clients of diverse backgrounds on a multitude of concerns. My approach is, at times, directive, yet always curious, nonjudgmental, collaborative, and validating.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
October 14th, 2017 5:46pm
Nothing else to do, but to try and have a conversation with him and ask him why he is ignoring you and if anything is wrong. Also tell him that whatever it is, you're there for him. If he continues to ignore you, suggest some time away from eachother to figure out what you both want out of the marriage and if you need to work on anything (either together or seperately.)
LukaCanWithUg
November 16th, 2017 9:32pm
u need to understand reason, right? talk to him very calm and try to understand correctly what hes saying. u need to make him sure that u can listen him.
carly3569
November 23rd, 2017 2:13am
Kindly ask him why he is ignoring you and tell what you feel. Be honest with him and don’t lie. If he says that you did something that hurt him, then apologize.
Firepheonix1504
December 6th, 2017 2:26pm
Try to talk to him about it and if that doesn't help i would say couples therapy. Their professionals and can most likely get through to him.
lovelife01
December 8th, 2017 10:10am
talk to him about it. tell him what you feel..if any problem exists sort it out... not talking about it will not help it will only make you anxious and will stress you.
circledFlight
December 13th, 2017 2:02am
Communication is one of the most important tools in a relationship. Start a conversation, and address this issue head on. Be brave, and do not fear conflict. Resolving issues this way in a constructive manner strengthens relationships.
HavenonEarth
December 24th, 2017 7:44am
Tell him that him ignoring you upsets you in a calm, polite but mostly honest tone. Do this when you are both in a happy / calm state, to reduce or prevent a huge outburst or unnecessary arguments, as doing so when he is agitated or vice versa will naturally cause more problems. Try to offer something that maybe he wants as well to find a compromise that way.
Mopperkontje
December 29th, 2017 3:23pm
A partner ignoring his or her partner is something that can happen to many people, by a variety of reasons. My experience in the matter is that the relationship has become dull and predictable, that either one or both have the same routine and when doing this routine, they either do it together or simply know it so well. What helped some of the people that I have spoken with that had such a similar issue, to do activities without one another. Hobbies and interests. So when you are together you have something to talk about. It is always a positive when you have something new and exciting to talk about, if the daily conversation goes; "Hello, how are you?" "Good, and you?" "Fine, thanks" There is not something very exciting. Enjoy, spend some time away from another and do things you enjoy, when refilled with passion and energy, you both can have something to talk about again.
ItsOkay234
January 7th, 2018 7:01pm
Try to focus on your own self comfort and don't overthink it. Ask him what's wrong and why he's ignoring you. And if he doesn't answer, then it's safe to presume that he just doesn't want to talk about it, so you might consider giving him some time.
VeraKh42
January 20th, 2018 8:30pm
Try to confront him. Ask him why he is acting the way he is and try to be supportive. It might be a specific reason.
JeshuaMorbus
January 21st, 2018 9:41am
If an active approach doesn't work, you can observe him from a more passive perspective, trying to interact with him from your more usual interactions. Mundane conversations can give you some insight on what can be he feeling or doing. Being hasty is never a good thing in these kinds of problems: observe, give it time and, if you can, talk with him.
musicalEnergy94
January 24th, 2018 4:25am
sometimes your husband may ignore you may be because he needs space, or he is tired from work, sometimes people take home their work home with them. it is hard to avoid complications in a marriage.
Anonymous
January 31st, 2018 5:32pm
Give him his due space. Try to reflect back upon your actions and analyze his behaviour objectively.
Ky23
February 21st, 2018 12:34am
Sometimes we all need space to clear our head and figure out how we will feel about a situation. I think it becomes harmful however if your partner is avoiding or ignoring the situation completely to avoid hurt feelings or having to hash out a problem. Definitely TALK with your partner and let them know that you definitely respect their space when needed, but that you don't appreciate when they ignore you.
heavenSea62
February 22nd, 2018 12:38pm
I must learn patience and should try to see the things from his aspects. If he ignores me, I should find the reason without nagging.
Thegirlwhowrites101
March 1st, 2018 1:35am
Try and talk to him about how you feeling and explain why you feel this way. The best thing is to talk.
magneticDog23
March 8th, 2018 5:51am
try to look for the reason why he ignore me. If the reason because of me, I will try to fix it, but if the reason is another thing, I will understand him
Anonymous
March 23rd, 2018 7:36am
You can try to get his attention by making his favorite dish, and involve in a movie or game he loves watching, or get dressed better and make him feel what he is missing by ignoring you! If nothing helps one on one talk to share your feelings really help!
miraculousHeart73
March 29th, 2018 5:42pm
Ask him how his day is. If he isn't up for a conversation, then wait for him to relax and settle in. That's when you can sit next to him and ask him what's been going on. If he says that there's nothing wrong, then tell him how you've been feeling lately. That will remind him that you are his wife and deserve some time with him.
Anonymous
April 5th, 2018 6:25pm
Try to start a conversation that you can ease into but then leads to talking about your feelings on the situation at hand. Try to have an open communication line.
Pumpkin74
April 6th, 2018 11:31am
A marriage is a two way street. If your husband is ignoring you, talking and opening up communication is the first (and very big) step. If he is not a "talker", you can also make plans to do things with your husband that you would both enjoy such a dinner at a favorite place, a walk at a park, or even seeing a movie. Just please, use the tools you have from knowing your husband well and work toward a solution with him. :)
SunnyGab
April 11th, 2018 10:30pm
Talk to him, sitting down and talking to that person is one of the best options since you are being upfront about how you feel in the relationship.
AprylFools
April 26th, 2018 12:38pm
Try speaking to him calmly and air your problems onto him. You need to gain his attention for this, sit down and tell him that he is making you unhappy with how he acts.
Cindale
April 28th, 2018 3:34pm
When my husband ignores me, he needs some time to set his mind straight. I give him some space and let him come to me when he's ready to talk.
Anonymous
April 29th, 2018 6:41am
Ask him about it, however if he still ignores your I suggest giving him some space until he either calms down or he talks to you from his own side.
Anonymous
May 9th, 2018 10:20pm
Try to speak to him about it and ask if there is something he wants to talk about, it is possible he might be very stressed and didn’t mean to ignore you
CreativListener
June 13th, 2018 12:08am
If my husband ignores me, I give him space initially. When we've reconnected, I will address it directly by starting with, "There's something that has been bothering me lately. I feel that sometimes you ignore me and it hurts my feelings." This can open up an opportunity for discussion. Based on what he says, I can offer validation for how he is feeling and then respectfully ask how we can work towards a solution for him to give me the attention that I need at a time he feels he is able to give it to me.
Anonymous
June 24th, 2018 8:42pm
This is hard. I am sorry you are going through this. Sometimes, spouses take each other for granted, not necessarily on purpose but life happens. Is it possible to tell your husband "I feel this way when you ignore me" or "I would love to spend some quality time with you." Dealing with a spouse, if you can tell him how xyz makes you feel in a non-accusatory way and open up a dialogue as to why he has been ignoring you, it might help move your relationship into a better place. Is it possible he is stressed at work? Stressed about bills? Could he feel unhappy for some reason? Opening up a dialogue in a non-accusatory way may shed some light on what is going on and get you to a new place of feeling like he pays attention to you.
blissfulKiwi74
June 25th, 2018 8:54pm
Give him time and space. When it feels like things has calmed down some, try to talk to him. Sometimes people ignore you without realizing they are ignoring you.
Anonymous
June 29th, 2018 2:37pm
He may be in a tough time in his life if so maybe give it a week then reach out but people react to things differently some people cry some people ignore everything around them... You would have to have a discussion with him to make sure evreything is alright