What can I do when I'm really angry at someone but can't immediately leave the situation?
Last Updated: 10/27/2020 at 11:32pm
Christie Belle, Master of Arts in Marriage and Family Therapy
I am a U.S. Air Force veteran and a ex-Army spouse. I am a divorced mother of two teenage boys, my youngest son has a diagnosis of autism, which I am very passionate about.
Top Rated Answers
When I am angry, but am unable to escape the situation, I start distracting myself. I think of things that can serve as an immediate escape from the circumstances. The most important thing I have learned while being angry is to "shut up." Not in a rude way, but the fact that it is easier and more effective to stay quiet than get worked up into an outrage.
When angry, one tends to say a lot of hurtful things they don't really mean. Prior to reacting due to your anger, ask yourself 3 questions: 1) Is the situation worth my wrath? 2) Should I knowingly hurt the other person? 3) What will getting angry achieve? Will it make the situation better?
Take a deep breath, look them in the eye, smile, and do not allow your anger to influence your actions. You will regret it later. Remain calm and get to the root of the problem.
I once learned a great skill.... take Seven slow steady breaths and with each breath, allow your self to relax a little. the situation won't change but the way you react to it will. Sometimes this is all a situation needs for it to collapse and return to something civil.
This all depends on you, but you can always try to close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. That way, you don't necessarily need to reply to the individual who is making you angry, and by closing your eyes, you can visualize something that makes you happy! Have you tried any methods to calm your anger before?
Its sometimes really tough for me but with the passes of time I have somehow learned how to control my anger in different situations. Sometimes praying relieves me to control my anger.
If you are really mad at someone, here is a tip for calming down before you snap at them that has helped me in the past :). First try to recognize that you are angry and when you do you have a short span before the amygdala in your brain powers up and you blow up at them and cannot stop. When you feel yourself getting angry try to take a deep breath and focus on your head and the rage that is building and let it flow through you without allowing it to hit the center. You will feel mad, sure, but at least you will not let it get the best of you. Hope this helps someone cheers
Close your eyes and begin to practice deep breathing!! Take a minute to refocus your thoughts on something that is calming.
just keep quiet and shut your ears off in your brain and continue doing your work without saying a word
Think about what you have already said to the person. Have you been rude or possibly offending the person? If so, this can never help if you or the person you are experiencing the situation with are angry, because if you reply with something that could offend them, they might do the same, and it would just cause an uproar of hatred towards each other. Consider apologizing and breathing exercises, walk a step in their shoes and try to see from their point of view.
I usually take a deep breath and realize that they are probable dealing with stuff too. If I am still angry after a little while, I try my best to try and escuse myself even if for a short while. for example, going to get water or use the bathroom.
Get yourself together. Don't make it obvious until you get out of the situation. I know it's hard when you're really angry, but that's all you gotta do. Be silent because when you're really angry, you might say the wrong words when you speak.
This may sound cheesy, but closing your eyes and very slowly counting to 10 whilst taking deep breaths can help with calming down.
This is extremely tough for most people. The best thing you can do if you PHYSICALLY cannot leave is to take a long breath. Count to five. (Seriously.) Keep your voice calm and low, and express what is making you angry. Don't escalate the situation. Imagine the argument is a fire. The louder you get, the more you curse, the less diplomatic you are-- you are throwing wood on the fire. If you keep your voice low and calm, and avoid making accusations, simply EXPRESS why you are upset, the fire will die down naturally.
Deep breathing is always an option. This works for me, so it's worth a try, but I always focus inwards. Not at my emotions, but actual physical things. Feeling my toes wiggle, my fingers wiggle. Focusing on the weight of myself in my chair, or my feet if standing. Sometimes deep breathing is hard for me until I try these things, it sort of removes myself from the situation without doing so physically, giving me time to cool it a little.
Take my time with them and be patient and not let the anger build up inside of me and not let it out there and then.
You can take your breath and sort your thoughts. You can communicate how you feel , in a calm way. And always remember your breath
Think is causing scene worth it. There is a place and time for everything. If you think its not worth the reaction don't bother doing it. Wait till you have your private space to vent.
it is a tough situation when you angry and even more tougher when you can't leave , the golden rule i follow is to not speak when you are angry , drink a glass of water slowly , keep yourself occupied and don't speak , don't react , you will be glad afterwards
Breathe deeply and remember they are not worth all of your negative energy. Giving them people the time of day is what they want if you think they are intentionally doing so, if you think you can control your anger, have a calm chat with them about how they have made you feel.
Separate your mind from the situation. Drift into something else. Your body can sit there, but you can take your mind elsehwhere.
Try to calme down. Don't say anything that you may regret later. See things from the other person's perspective and try to make a compromise so both of you can continue your day afterwards. Even if you don't agree with the other person, try to be calm as long as you are in the same room. When you leave the room, you can let your frustration out, but not before that
Take a moment for yourself in the conversation, either while they are talking or in a conversational pause, just to think, to acknowledge and process your feelings so that your words can then express honestly and calmly how you feel - from a place that has considered what you are going to say and the impact what you say will have on you, the other person and the situation. Or if you need more time to understand and process your anger then express to the person that you're troubled or need a moment to process something that they've said, and take a moment to yourself away from that conversation to think to yourself - as long as you express this clearly to the other person then they'll understand that you're upset, that you are being mature and trying to deal with it in a thoughtful way, and they'll be given a moment to consider, process and address what they might've said that lead to this outcome.
I can recommend trying to see the situation from their perspective. Maybe they're inexperienced, vulnerable, or even unaware that their behaviour angers you. It can be hard to control your emotions like anger, but this is how you may calm down and look at the situation in a different way. Insulting them can provoke their anger and make the situation even worse than it was before, so try to avoid doing that. However, just because you are trying to understand their position, doesn't mean they are right and that you have to give way to them. Find a balance to resolve the conflict.
Know that your emotions are products of your mind, like thoughts, and that they don't have to control you. You can decide to act on them or not. Trying to control emotions can be hard and often unsuccessful, but you can accept your anger and give it space to exist in you. Recognising the emotion and being a few moments with it, listening to what it has to tell you, will free your mind for making the actions that are actually valuable for you. Breathing and mindfulness exercise can help in becoming more conscious of your emotions in that sense. The anger will not disappear, but it will not control you either.
Related Questions: What can I do when I'm really angry at someone but can't immediately leave the situation?
I have very rapid mood swings, what's the best way to manage them so no one gets hurt?I find myself thinking of people as useless and tedious. What's wrong with me?Why do I feel worse after crying?Are psychopaths necessarily bad people? What's the point of happiness if I don't want it?Am I depressed or just sensitive? How do you know if you're truly happy?I can't stop crying for days on end. What do I do?Why do I compare everyone to my bad relationship?How do I prevent negative thinking?