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What can I do when I'm really angry at someone but can't immediately leave the situation?

23 Answers
Last Updated: 08/28/2018 at 12:57am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Jamitia Wilson, MS, LAC

Pre-Licensed Professional

I believe that true healing occurs when one is able to honestly express how one feels about himself/herself and the world. I would be honored to support your healing change.

Top Rated Answers
Neeka
October 23rd, 2014 11:57pm
When I am angry, but am unable to escape the situation, I start distracting myself. I think of things that can serve as an immediate escape from the circumstances. The most important thing I have learned while being angry is to "shut up." Not in a rude way, but the fact that it is easier and more effective to stay quiet than get worked up into an outrage.
Ashumi
September 13th, 2014 7:29pm
When angry, one tends to say a lot of hurtful things they don't really mean. Prior to reacting due to your anger, ask yourself 3 questions: 1) Is the situation worth my wrath? 2) Should I knowingly hurt the other person? 3) What will getting angry achieve? Will it make the situation better?
Tabaqui
September 15th, 2014 12:04am
Take a deep breath, look them in the eye, smile, and do not allow your anger to influence your actions. You will regret it later. Remain calm and get to the root of the problem.
Brettlstar
October 23rd, 2014 10:47am
I once learned a great skill.... take Seven slow steady breaths and with each breath, allow your self to relax a little. the situation won't change but the way you react to it will. Sometimes this is all a situation needs for it to collapse and return to something civil.
Pandette
November 18th, 2014 4:53am
This all depends on you, but you can always try to close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. That way, you don't necessarily need to reply to the individual who is making you angry, and by closing your eyes, you can visualize something that makes you happy! Have you tried any methods to calm your anger before?
ShreyS
September 23rd, 2014 5:49pm
Its sometimes really tough for me but with the passes of time I have somehow learned how to control my anger in different situations. Sometimes praying relieves me to control my anger.
Anonymous
May 17th, 2015 7:58pm
Close your eyes and begin to practice deep breathing!! Take a minute to refocus your thoughts on something that is calming.
Vapori
October 21st, 2014 5:41am
If you are really mad at someone, here is a tip for calming down before you snap at them that has helped me in the past :). First try to recognize that you are angry and when you do you have a short span before the amygdala in your brain powers up and you blow up at them and cannot stop. When you feel yourself getting angry try to take a deep breath and focus on your head and the rage that is building and let it flow through you without allowing it to hit the center. You will feel mad, sure, but at least you will not let it get the best of you. Hope this helps someone cheers
lettuceredboots
October 23rd, 2014 10:05pm
just keep quiet and shut your ears off in your brain and continue doing your work without saying a word
redwhispers
October 25th, 2014 11:46pm
Think about what you have already said to the person. Have you been rude or possibly offending the person? If so, this can never help if you or the person you are experiencing the situation with are angry, because if you reply with something that could offend them, they might do the same, and it would just cause an uproar of hatred towards each other. Consider apologizing and breathing exercises, walk a step in their shoes and try to see from their point of view.
katejune
November 3rd, 2014 9:46pm
I usually take a deep breath and realize that they are probable dealing with stuff too. If I am still angry after a little while, I try my best to try and escuse myself even if for a short while. for example, going to get water or use the bathroom.
PerfectlyImperfect
September 13th, 2014 1:01pm
Get yourself together. Don't make it obvious until you get out of the situation. I know it's hard when you're really angry, but that's all you gotta do. Be silent because when you're really angry, you might say the wrong words when you speak.
leanne9
October 17th, 2014 3:43am
This may sound cheesy, but closing your eyes and very slowly counting to 10 whilst taking deep breaths can help with calming down.
Anonymous
November 4th, 2014 12:32am
This is extremely tough for most people. The best thing you can do if you PHYSICALLY cannot leave is to take a long breath. Count to five. (Seriously.) Keep your voice calm and low, and express what is making you angry. Don't escalate the situation. Imagine the argument is a fire. The louder you get, the more you curse, the less diplomatic you are-- you are throwing wood on the fire. If you keep your voice low and calm, and avoid making accusations, simply EXPRESS why you are upset, the fire will die down naturally.
lightPetrichor34
November 4th, 2014 6:27pm
Deep breathing is always an option. This works for me, so it's worth a try, but I always focus inwards. Not at my emotions, but actual physical things. Feeling my toes wiggle, my fingers wiggle. Focusing on the weight of myself in my chair, or my feet if standing. Sometimes deep breathing is hard for me until I try these things, it sort of removes myself from the situation without doing so physically, giving me time to cool it a little.
joeds94
November 12th, 2014 12:48am
Take my time with them and be patient and not let the anger build up inside of me and not let it out there and then.
Anonymous
May 17th, 2015 3:19am
You can take your breath and sort your thoughts. You can communicate how you feel , in a calm way. And always remember your breath
Greatlistener87
April 12th, 2016 2:38am
Think is causing scene worth it. There is a place and time for everything. If you think its not worth the reaction don't bother doing it. Wait till you have your private space to vent.
Hope
November 14th, 2016 8:46pm
it is a tough situation when you angry and even more tougher when you can't leave , the golden rule i follow is to not speak when you are angry , drink a glass of water slowly , keep yourself occupied and don't speak , don't react , you will be glad afterwards
Anonymous
September 29th, 2015 8:35am
Breathe deeply and remember they are not worth all of your negative energy. Giving them people the time of day is what they want if you think they are intentionally doing so, if you think you can control your anger, have a calm chat with them about how they have made you feel.
JillieJillie
November 17th, 2015 5:02am
Separate your mind from the situation. Drift into something else. Your body can sit there, but you can take your mind elsehwhere.
courageousJoy86
April 3rd, 2018 8:52pm
Try to calme down. Don't say anything that you may regret later. See things from the other person's perspective and try to make a compromise so both of you can continue your day afterwards. Even if you don't agree with the other person, try to be calm as long as you are in the same room. When you leave the room, you can let your frustration out, but not before that
phosphenerelief
August 28th, 2018 12:57am
Take a moment for yourself in the conversation, either while they are talking or in a conversational pause, just to think, to acknowledge and process your feelings so that your words can then express honestly and calmly how you feel - from a place that has considered what you are going to say and the impact what you say will have on you, the other person and the situation. Or if you need more time to understand and process your anger then express to the person that you're troubled or need a moment to process something that they've said, and take a moment to yourself away from that conversation to think to yourself - as long as you express this clearly to the other person then they'll understand that you're upset, that you are being mature and trying to deal with it in a thoughtful way, and they'll be given a moment to consider, process and address what they might've said that lead to this outcome.