What should I do when my boyfriend ignores me?

315 Answers
Last Updated: 12/03/2018 at 6:29am
What should I do when my boyfriend ignores me?
★ This question about Managing Emotions was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Linda Miland, MA

Licensed Professional Counselor

I have a passion to help individuals address and challenge thoughts ,feelings and lifestyle factors that are contributing to mental health issues.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
January 14th, 2016 1:58am
Be the bigger person and give him a chance to see whats hes missing. If you find you have done something wrong, then say you're sorry, but that is all you can do. If he chooses to hold a grudge or is just simply ignoring you then wait for him to come to you.
Anonymous
March 26th, 2016 6:57am
Let him have bis space, being ignored is usually because he does not know what to say and most likely needs some time. Give him that time and he will come to you.
Anonymous
August 12th, 2015 11:44am
Sorry to hear you are having issues with your boyfriend. Perhaps there has been a miscommunication between you both that has caused him to feel confused or distant for the time being. Honest and direct communication may help. Perhaps if you make contact the best way you can (via email, text chat or a direct phone call) and explain your concerns, calmly and openly he will respond with an explanation for his actions. If he continues to ignore you he may be requiring some time to sort out his own emotions he is feeling. While this may be frustrating to you, the 'timeout' may resolve the issue and bring a positive long term outcome. I wish you well with your concerns and please come back to 7copsoftea.com to chat again with any future problems that may arise. Have a wonderful day.
BrightSoul87
December 26th, 2015 6:23pm
Hello there. Exactly what do you mean when you say he ignores you? Anyway, don't look down on yourself or blame yourself for being ignored. He may be going through some tough times and may not want to be disturbed. Sometimes the reason he is ignoring you is personal and may have nothing to do with you. Just support him in all his endeavours and be there when he's ready to talk. If you keep pushing him to talk he may just loose it with you.
EndearingHope
August 6th, 2015 10:38am
It may seem like your boyfriend is ignoring you, but maybe he is just taking time to be by himself. It's better to take time apart, than talk when angry.
turkoizdog
April 17th, 2015 6:08am
If this is habitual, it might be important to figure out why he does this. He may need time to himself, or it may be a sign of problems in your relationship. If it's the former, it may help to have other close friends for when you need attention and socialization, but your boyfriend wants to be alone. If there are problems within the relationship, those should be targeted and discussed when you both feel comfortable doing so.
Anonymous
July 1st, 2015 3:17am
Try to find out the rrason behind it by asking to him. And if he doesn't give an answer, I'll move on.
Erynn
December 30th, 2014 7:37pm
It probably depends importance of the thing he ignores, and how long and on-going his ignoring you is. You have many options. You could tell him right then and there that you feel hurt he is not listening and why you feel it is important that he gives you more attention at this particular moment. In the moment, it would probably be best to not focus on how many times in the past he has not listened, but only talk about right then and there if you feel it is an important thing he listens to. But, if you want to address an ingoing issue of him ignoring you, you might find a time when you are both calm and ask to talk to him. Explain that you'd like his full attention and that this is something very important to you. Try ti use "I" statements, so he doesn't feel attacked this helps people listen better) and explain why it matters to you that he listens and what it feels like for you when he ignores you and what makes you feel he is ignoring you. It can also be a good idea to enter a conversation with an idea of how you think you both can improve things, and end the conversation with some problem solving. If things get heated/angry, you might both pause for a break/breather, but set a specific time to resume conversations so this is talked the whole way through. If nothing changes and you are still feeling ignored, you might discuss ending the relationship, or just end it as that is an option). Or, you could change your expectations of him and his attention, or find times he is more likely to listen and save important talks or meaningful chats for that time.
silverMusic21
July 23rd, 2015 12:00pm
i think the first thing to do in this situation is to communicate with him. At first you need to be sure if he is really ignoring you or he's disturbed by something . If you don't get what exactly is gong on then it will ruin everything . And one thing, don't try to avoid this problem cause this way it will just mess up . Just ask him directly and listen what he is saying . Try not to overreact and be patient .
RiseUp2020
May 15th, 2018 4:08pm
Life goes on. They are missing out on something wonderful. Go on about life being yourself and if they don't respect or appreciate you, then it might be best to let them go. On the other hand, if they've had a rough day, they might need some space and you can compassionately give that to them. Hope that helps
DipityEnigma
July 11th, 2015 4:10pm
It really depends on why they might be ignoring you. I'm not saying this is the case, just an example but if you're acting in a way that you don't realise and it upsets him, he could be ignoring you because he doesn't know how to deal with you. However, this might not be the case and it would be better if you give him his own space when this happens and once he's ready to talk, ask him why he ignored you. Whatever he says, try not to take it personally. Getting offended won't solve anything. Listen to what he says, hear him out. Think about what he tells you and how it's affecting him. Think about how you can improve on the things he's stated. I know it's hard not to play the blame game and I know it's hard not to let your ego get the best of you but to make a relationship work, you need to be willing to listen and work on your problems together. Being against each other won't make either of you happy and you'll simply be stuck in a rut. I don't mean to cause any offence and I hope this helps.
sereneSunshine87
August 9th, 2015 11:13pm
I think you should do your best to focus on yourself and reflect on the relationship in general. Ask him why he ignores you. You deserve to know
PorcelainPyramid
September 14th, 2015 3:13am
First, breathe. All girls have been through this and it can make us very anxious. If he is really ignoring you you could try calling, but I wouldn't call or text more than once as this could just be annoying and make him more mad. If he's ignoring you because you've done something wrong or you both have you should just apologize for the part that you screwed up with and when he gets over it a bit talk about it calmly. Or it could just be that he needs some space. In this case it's best to not freak out. Just give him time and he will stop ignoring you eventually, just distract yourself while it's happening so you don't get too upset.
yourOcean42
July 26th, 2015 11:56pm
Have you talked to him about it? is he still ignoring you? Consider what's going on in his world from his perspective. Is there something that could be bothering him that is unrelated to you? Take a step back and breathe for a moment. What is it that you need? What specifically is making you feel ignored? Are there external factors of your relationship that may be making you feel neglected? Are you projecting those feelings onto your boyfriend? If all these questions still point to your boyfriend clearly ignoring you it's time for a calm and open conversations. Approach him with no assumptions of reasons for his behavior. Be honest and clear with your words. Let him know you've felt he is ignoring you and you don't want to jump to any conclusions about why that's happening. Listen.
Anonymous
June 9th, 2016 9:18am
If your boyfriend really loves you but is still ignoring you,maybe he is taking you for granted. You can start by being aloof,ignoring him in the same way,or you can try giving him some space if you think you are too clingy. Maybe that will help bring him back to you. Don't allow him to take you for granted. And if he doesn't love you and is ignoring you,maybe you should start searching for a new boyfriend
LovebyChristina
July 24th, 2015 4:07am
To this question I say, to each their own. Everybody has their own experiences in relationships. Give yourself a moment to breathe and think, and when in a clear mind decide what feels best for you in the situation. If reaching out feels best, do so. If not, leave them be.
openedmind81
August 12th, 2015 3:34pm
Talk and listen, find out what is going on. In many situations the assumptions and conclusions drawn are inaccurate.Address the problem to your boyfriend and get his response.
blindAngle
September 24th, 2016 8:50am
Ignores him also . He will come to you if he is sincere , otherwise don't bother about him . There are so many other people around you
empathicEars43
January 29th, 2018 4:03pm
For me, I often think to myself 'Ok, he can't be here for me. He's busy or not available. How can I be here for myself?' Maybe that means I need to talk to some of my female friends, or go on a walk, or journal about my feelings, or do my own thing. Be your own best friend. Then you'll find you don't need other people so much. :-)
Anonymous
August 1st, 2015 3:39pm
You should find out the reason first before coming to any conclusion. I think that is the first thing anyone must do, as talking is the best way to keep troubles out.
SimeonUS
December 31st, 2015 7:52pm
Give him space, he probably has a reason. If it lasts too long, I'd might ask for reasons. If it doesn't work out, I would hold onto lingering feelings. Just break it off, he is probably not worth your time.
Leo442
March 18th, 2016 10:09am
Try to talk to him and ask him if he's upset from some reason. Let him know that his behavior is hurting you. Communication should be the basis of all relationships.
Daydream14
March 27th, 2016 4:26am
I am sorry,but I may not give you advice. I am only here to listen and guide you to what is best for you, What do you think is best for your situation?
insightfulPurple89
September 21st, 2016 1:59am
Enjoy yourself, have a good time with your friends, or on your own. By doing this you prove to yourself and to your partner how valuable you are as a person!
lovelyOcean15
July 9th, 2015 7:32pm
I will do some silly stuffs in front of him, get him attraction and make him laugh. If he keep ignoring me, maybe I will make him a dinner and give him a big great hug.
1musicloverever
November 30th, 2016 9:44pm
Just distract yourself, just do your own thing, if they want to talk to you they will and when they do you can talk then, but you don't need to be wasting your time on someone who doesn't even want to spend theirs on you.
Anonymous
July 30th, 2015 4:15am
I'd say give him some time to get back. Or give him a period of time saying you will get back after giving him some time. One thing not to do is pressurize him into talking.
Anonymous
August 12th, 2015 10:11pm
I think you should just talk to him. Communication is big in relationships and he might not realize he's doing it.
Anonymous
December 20th, 2015 6:19am
I think communication is important in a relationship for it to be healthy. Maybe you should try to communicate with your significant other and try to find out the reason as to why you are being ignored. Personally if I don't get an answer as to why they are behaving his way, then I would not like to waste my time on someone who doesn't care enough to provide a simple answer and communicate. I would be happy to find another partner who respects me.
MessyFox
June 9th, 2016 6:50pm
Your boyfriend should not ignore you if he does not have a decent motive. You may try to talk to him about it and tell him why does it upset you why would you like him to give you some more attention, maybe he doesnt think he is hurting you, who knows? Although, after you talk if he keeps on ignoring and does not respect you I dont think he is worth it. You deserve someone that gives you all the attention you crave and makes you feel like you are the best and most special person.