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What should I do when my boyfriend ignores me?

316 Answers
Last Updated: 08/04/2020 at 4:03am
What should I do when my boyfriend ignores me?
★ This question about Relationship Stress was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Paola Giordani, Psychoanalyst

Licensed Psychoanalyst

I have helped and am helping people cope with loss, divorce, anguish and parenting. Depression is also a major issue that comes up.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous - Expert in Relationship Stress
July 29th, 2015 6:04am
Usually when a guy is ignoring me, I try texting/calling him first to see if he'll actually answer. If he doesn't, I give him three days to answer me back until I break up with him because he isn't worth my time. :)
December 13th, 2014 1:54pm
Being ignored can make you feel really alone and like you have done something wrong.However it's important to try and look at the situation objectively even though you are very much in the relationship.What factors might be causing his behaviour and does it relate to you eg.Is he simply very busy with a work or university deadline ?, Does he need to speak to his family or other friends too (I know it may be tempting but you cannot be his whole social life).If it persists long term though and you feel it is really impacting on your life it might be worth bringing the issue up in a calm manner and asking him to explain the reasons while also telling him how it makes you feel.If you have worked on other areas of your relationship and this is the sole 'issue' I would very much hope he would be responsive to your concerns and attempt to change his behaviour.
July 30th, 2015 2:39pm
Simple answer -tell him you'd like him to pay more attention to you! Communication is the lifeblood of a relationship. Is he ignoring you more than usual? Is he ignoring you for something specific? Is he ignoring you because he's preoccupied with something? Maybe he'd like to talk about it, and especially to you, but he doesn't know how to communicate. I'd be happy to talk to you more on this.
- Expert in Relationship Stress
August 13th, 2015 6:53pm
FIND A NEW BOYFRIEND! Boyfriends are NOT Husbands, and Yes, THEY CAN BE REPLACED. They need to KNOW you WILL.
- Expert in Relationship Stress
September 21st, 2016 8:15am
he is not responding to me since week
December 9th, 2014 8:54pm
Go on about your own business, treat yourself like you would your best friend and do things that you enjoy. Men need a lot of space. When he inevitably comes back wanting your attention, explain calmly but assertively the way you feel when he acts that way.
- Expert in Relationship Stress
July 22nd, 2015 2:45pm
Let him ignore you. Don't show him that you are dependant of him. If he ignores you, maybe he needs space. If he never quits ignoring you, you obviously deserve better.
- Expert in Relationship Stress
July 22nd, 2015 11:51pm
In times like this, I usually focus more on myself. Doing things I love, reading lots of book, taking good care of myself (such as; exercise, making sure I'm in good shape, taking enough rest and etc.). The more you seek attention the more you will look unattractive to your partner. The more you take good care of yourself the better and the more attractive you become.
September 15th, 2015 1:11am
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December 26th, 2014 12:09pm
look at the cause...either his love is fading, or he's got some personal problems, or he needs more room, or its just a love game? once you get to know which is it, you might find a solution too! *hopefully*
July 9th, 2015 3:20pm
From my own personal experience I have found that its best to wait until he talks to you and then ask why he was ignoring you.
July 8th, 2015 6:22pm
I would just try to distract myself from him. You do not need him to pay attention to you for you to have value, and sometimes, I think we get so caught up in those we love that we forget that.
July 4th, 2015 9:47pm
The best thing to do in this kind of scenario is to be calm, cool, and collected; don't let it get to you too much. Keep positive and stay firm with yourself, don't show defeat or become too apprehensive; don't hound him, just text here and there and let him know that you hope he is doing ok, that you are missing him, that you are a bit concerned, but don't over do it. It's important to keep in touch, despite the fact that he may be ignoring you, do not make any kinds of irrational threats towards him, and if he continues to ignore you, then let the situation settle as it may. Show a bit of concern, make an impression, try, and then let time do what it may. Showing initiative makes you the bigger and better person in some cases; letting things fester sometimes solves things, and sometimes makes others worse. Keep calm, don't jump to conclusions, and try to avoid making irrational assumptions. Your health and composure is the most important; you must remain steadfast, perhaps admit to wrongdoings, be attentive, and sometimes let things go. Time will always tell; don't let ignorance or insecurity overpower, or dominate you, or your feelings. Remain composed, remain true to yourself.
January 20th, 2016 4:02am
I'm sorry to say this, but you should break up with him. If he's ignoring you, he's wasting your time when you could be with someone who doesn't ignore you.
August 6th, 2015 2:44am
When one is ignored by a significant other, it can make them confused, angry, and scared. It's hard not to text and call just to make sure they haven't forgotten you! Sadly, this often makes them avoid you more. People like space and when they smell desperation they run. The best thing to do is relax and let your boyfriend come around on his own. Don't think he hates you, maybe he's just busy or worried about his own issues. The important thing is to not take anything personally.
July 31st, 2015 5:04pm
Seek out your own personal growth and development. Have fun and keep busy until he calls or messages.
March 26th, 2016 5:59am
If your boyfriend is ignoring you - it's important to look not at the reason he's ignoring you but the health of the relationship. Is it healthy for you to be in a relationship with someone who cuts off communication? Is it healthy for you to put time and energy into someone who would rather shut down than work it out? From there you should formulate if this is the relationship for you to be in and if this is the relationship that will keep you happy long term. In my life anyone who shuts me out is not someone I'm interested in being with. Open and honest communication is more important to me than someone willing to ignore me.
March 20th, 2016 2:42pm
give him the taste of his own medicine once in a while, let him miss you too. if he still ignores you, dump him, you deserve better !
December 24th, 2015 5:21am
Your boyfriend should realize that you are not his rock. You are a privilege and can easily leave if he ignores you.
December 22nd, 2014 8:42am
If he absolutely won't let you state your case and he disrespects you personally then ignore him and walk away. It's possible that the space will allow you both to gain perspective on the situation.
December 10th, 2014 12:25am
Ask him if something is wrong, if he still ignores you, give him some space... he will talk to you when he feels ready to do it. But remember, if it is something that makes you feel bad, tell him, he have to understand too that he can't ignore yo anytime that he wants if it is something that hurts you
April 10th, 2015 2:26am
either ask him why he does this... or when that doesn't work break up with him. you deserve someone who will give you all of their attention.
July 22nd, 2015 5:30am
Depends on the reason, but never go crazy. do NOT blow out his phone and freak out Give him space and time.
August 2nd, 2015 3:19am
Being ignored by someone who you have complete faith and trust in shouldn't be a huge issue, for nothing is above the power of love, if the reason is a small argument, sort it out. You're better than that nothing can be more important than him. If he's abusive, darling you need to get help, he is not worth your time anyways, for he never loved you. It's a good news he's finally ignoring you. If it just came out of the blue, there must be something going on that you are unaware of, sometimes pain alters personalities of people you love, reach out, make sure to tell them you are always going to be there. If there is any other reason, do what your heart says, but NEVER on the expense of your own happiness and self respect. Love yourself.
July 3rd, 2015 8:06am
Try to give him some space. Maybe there is something that he needs to work on and figure out on his own. Don't try to force yourself on him, it will not help that matter.
December 10th, 2014 3:08pm
I think you should try to confront him all the way until he talk to you or if still nothing happens why don't give both a space for each other.
March 13th, 2016 8:31am
You need to have a serious talk about him ignoring you, because that is emotional relationship abuse and should not be taken lightly.
August 5th, 2015 2:52pm
If your boyfriend is ignoring you, There's a fair chance that something is upsetting him. Whether it's related to your relationship or his own personal life, Something is upsetting him. If you are able to, try to talk with him and just see how he's feeling, If anything's going on in his life that may be upsetting/causing him stress. If that's the case, He's most likely not ignoring you to intentionally hurt you. He just needs some space there. If it is related to your relationship, try to talk things out and see where things are with both of you.
July 29th, 2015 7:18pm
Be at peace with yourself, give him space. When he reaches out to you be honest about how you feel .
December 11th, 2014 12:23pm
i honestly think that this is a matter of who was right or wrong. in most of my friends', it is because of misunderstandings that results to fights then one ignoring the other. talk it out. try understanding each other. open communication helps.