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Why am I so nervous around my boyfriend?

178 Answers
Last Updated: 05/03/2020 at 10:04pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Brenda Munroe, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), I have worked with individuals of all ages. My work with clients is supportive, interactive and nonjudgmental.

Top Rated Answers
GentleCompass
May 22nd, 2016 8:20pm
You might be experiencing anxiety because of a variety of factors. Take a moment to reflect on when exactly you feel nervous, and see if you can find any patterns in your behaviour that might indicate what exactly makes you nervous. Is it something you wish to communicate to him, or something you feel one of you is holding back? Either way, take a deep breath and some time to calmly and peacefully reflect on what it is that's making you on edge.
ElizabethLovesYou
May 26th, 2016 6:26pm
Every relationship is different, just like very person is different. Feeling nervous around your boyfriend is very normal! Whether it is because you just love them so much, or because you are uncertain, that doesn't matter. The best thing to do is express this feeling towards your boyfriend, so he understands how you are feeling, and maybe even help you.
briana6876786
September 2nd, 2016 2:46am
because maybe you think you might do something he might not like and he will get mad at you or something
Anonymous
September 2nd, 2016 8:39pm
If it is a new relationship then you could be afraid to show too much in case he disapproves and leaves. If you have low confidence or don't very highly of yourself that might be part of it too. You could have opposite views on things which makes you aware of what you should or should not say.
MistyWolf
February 15th, 2018 3:14am
The reason why you are nervous, is because this person is important to you. And as such, their thoughts actually matter to you. It's our close friends and family we care about the most therefore, their opinions matter a great deal to us. Our friends and partners are the ones we actually choose unlike family so honestly, you could argue that your friends/partner are even more important when it comes to opinions on how they view you. Remember your partner, loves you and cares about you and feels the same way. They are there to support you and grow with you together. Eventually your nervousness will fade as you grow together and become closer and stronger as you meet each others families and friends etc. You become one and find balance between both your lives, e.g your friends and her friends. You find that routine that suits both of you. Butterflies never go away with that special someone. But you do learn to trust and love unconditionally as you grow and experience together.
MintedTea
May 17th, 2018 9:57pm
Your boyfriend might make you feel a certain way and it scares you to open up to him like that. It's completely understandable to feel nervous around someone you have such strong feelings for.
Anonymous
June 1st, 2018 9:54am
Some people are afraid to be judged, maybe because you want the best impression on him to not feel alone.
AlonebutNotLonely
May 4th, 2016 12:43am
Most likely because you are insecure about yourself. It happens a lot, so you aren't the only one.
satanClaus
May 29th, 2016 12:02pm
aww.honey! there is nothing wrong in being nervous around your boyfriend. it happens with many of us. initially, we feel shy and self-conscious so we become nervous, if the nervousness persists, you may do a little self evaluation and try and understand what makes you nervous around him. does sharing make you nervous? or is a fear of him judging you in a wrong manner? try and think of situations where you've been super nervous, and ponder what triggers it. i hope this helped.:)
Anonymous
June 1st, 2016 7:47pm
Maybe you just don't feel comfortable around him, see what makes you nervous and try to talk it out with him
ItsAlyssa
July 29th, 2016 4:27pm
Just be yourself and dont be nervous you probably like him and dont know how to act or maybe your uncomfortable
Elees1121
August 21st, 2016 7:26pm
I believe you are nervous around your boyfriend because your feelings towards him are getting stronger.
Anonymous
September 15th, 2016 5:58am
What kind of nervousness are we talking about? If you feel scared-nervous, you may not feel comfortable in this relationship and you may need to start asking yourself some hard questions about your happiness and quality of life. If you it's a giddy-nervousness, you may be feeling some endorphins from being close to someone else for a long time, or you may be looking forward to activities you and your boyfriend participate in. Maybe you can have this discussion with your boyfriend! Tell him, "Hey, this might be weird or whatever, but I feel really nervous around you." Maybe this conversation will help you feel less nervous as you discover together why exactly this is. Truth and love.
Anonymous
December 9th, 2016 5:59am
That's something that only you can answer. Has he done anything to you that you didn't like? Has he hurt you in any way? Are you just excited to see him? Do you fear him/what he is capable of?
bubblegumTree13
March 8th, 2017 8:46pm
Nervousness occurs usually when there is performance anxiety. Your Boyfriend is important to you and thus you are concerned about how he views you. Add to this is the common perception that we are never good enough, or that we do not deserve good things or that someone else may come and steal what we desire. Thus we want to look good in his eyes so that we can be treasured by him.
Anonymous
July 26th, 2017 11:32am
Perhaps there's some sort of trust issue that needs to be worked on? Talk it out with him, there's a good chance he will be able to help you understand and possibly solve this nervousness​.
Anonymous
December 14th, 2017 2:15pm
You might not feel as comfortable with him yet. If its a new relationship then this is normal but if not then think about why that might be? Does he do something that makes you nervous?
xXSoulFlyXx
February 3rd, 2018 1:19am
It's good to feel this way. A lover must be someone who challenge you, reflect who you really are, makes you feel like reaching out to be a better version of yourself. That's a good reason to be nervous =D
Anonymous
February 21st, 2018 7:10pm
It can take time to get comfortable with someone, even in a relationship. It's normal. Maybe it's trust issues, maybe it's the past that could be affecting it, maybe it's nothing but nerves. It's okay to feel that way, maybe try to talk to him about it?
SweetApplejuice
March 24th, 2018 5:03am
It could be that you are just so attracted to him that you start to get nervous when talking to him or even seeing him. It is usually completely normal to feel nervous or excited around your boyfriend. A stomach full of butterflies is common, so you probably have nothing to worry about, but if you start suspecting something is up or not right, and that’s why you feel nervous, you may want to give this some thought. A small conversation with your boyfriend is all you will need to get your relationship back to usual.
MsSpearmint
July 29th, 2018 10:20am
It could possibly be a negative situation where you have lost trust in him or he has become violent in the past. You possibly don't even consciously want to acknowledge that those situations did happen so your body is reacting to your fear involuntarily.
gentleHoliday50
April 28th, 2016 2:19am
Maybe because you like him and are afraid of loose him? But the best answer is with you. Exam your feelings and thoughts when this happen will help clear you perception and understand better the why. My question for you is how can you change? Have any ideia?
Anonymous
April 30th, 2016 5:20pm
well ..you are with the person with whom you are about to make your memories together and wanna make your life in a happy and wishful way ... so its pretty much common that you get nervous at times .... but .. being nervous is also a good thing ... cause you feel much more excitement and just pour your mind and soul .. with that person .. so you always feel more or it :)
Anonymous
May 26th, 2016 8:01pm
You want to impress him. Having him see you in a positive light is very important to you, so you're afraid to make mistakes. You may be scared that if you make mistakes he may not like you anymore.
Anonymous
May 29th, 2016 12:35pm
You love him, and you don't want to do anything stupid around him, because you are afraid he will leave you. You want to be perfect around him.
BabyKirby
June 1st, 2016 6:53pm
In a good way or a bad way. Those butterflies and heartflutters can be wonderful. If there's an underlying concern about his treatment of you or others, you may need to get this relationship some serious thought.
SarahLove
June 1st, 2016 8:35pm
I used to be that way, I was just a little scared of being judged. It took me a while to finally be comfortable and completely myself around him. :)
Anonymous
June 2nd, 2016 7:54pm
Usually when you're around people you have feelings for, you have a natural urge to impress them. You thinking your not doing so can cause those nerves to pop up. Its completely natural
Anonymous
June 8th, 2016 9:55am
If your just starting off your relationship, you'll still be nervous at first. You always are. Trust me, I've been there
Anonymous
June 8th, 2016 11:09am
sometimes i get nervous with my boyfriend, because he doesn't pay attention to me when i talk something.