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Why do I always think my girlfriend is cheating?

287 Answers
Last Updated: 11/27/2023 at 4:15pm
Why do I always think my girlfriend is cheating?
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Top Rated Answers
peacefulIris56
April 23rd, 2016 2:41pm
It may be internal, because you may be insecure and believe that she is cheat. Or you could lack trust in your relationship. Or there could be external factors such as red flags being raised by her actions. Therefore her actions and behaviors could be contributing to your thoughts.
HelpfulNick95
April 7th, 2016 3:04pm
Seems to me that there are definitely some insecurities that you are dealing with. Now this might not be your fault, but it could be due to past experience with other relationships, or just lack of trust in general. Think: Did she do anything to make you lose your trust? Nevertheless, I think a conversation is definitely something you have with her to communicate your worries and why you have them, and talk things out and get on the same page with her. A relationship requires two people, so don't keep this worry to yourself.
Anonymous
July 21st, 2016 12:09pm
It might be so.. because you don't trust her. Insecurities arise only when there is no trust..and such relationships do no good!
TheHelpfulNinja
August 2nd, 2019 8:21pm
Hello, thank you for your question. There are a few possiblities that may be the cause for this. I think the most obvious one to start off with is if you have evidence that could prove that she is cheating. It's normal to feel something is wrong when there are possible signs of infidelity. You have right to be concerned if for instance the things she says don't add up/ she's started to be secretive on more than one occasion. Another reason is if she has cheated before. If this is the case then there will surely be underlining insecurity in whether she will do it again. If this is indeed the case, it sounds like you won't be able to forgive her. Unfortunately there is no benefit continuing a relationship full of constant fear and unhappiness. It could be that you were cheated on in the past. If this is the case it's natural to feel insecure in a new relationship. Know someone close to you who got cheated on? From my own experience, I felt unstable when I got into a relationship due to my dad's actions. I never thought that my dad would cheat on my mom and when he did it made me second guess my own relationship. The last scenario is a personal chat with yourself. Maybe you have low-selfesteem and confidence. I used to think that my partner would be cheating because I thought I wasn't good enough and so he would surely be cheating with someone who looks better. In actual fact I just needed to build my self confidence up. There may be more causes of why you think this but I think these are the main areas. Hope everything goes well for you, best wishes
Akina93
October 11th, 2019 7:51pm
Have you dealt with issues like this in the past? Have you had people break your trust? Experiences from you past can affect your present more than you may realize. Ponder on these questions, maybe you'll uncover something. This could also be due to actions that you worry about through her own behaviors. Has she broke your trust in the past, in your relationship or otherwise? There are so many reasons that you could be feeling this way, but I hope that exploring these questions can assist in finding a possible reason why these worries, anxieties, and thoughts are becoming so intrusive.
brightKiwi25
October 25th, 2019 10:18pm
In my experience the more important people are to me the more I want to keep them around. This makes me look out for any warning signs that they might leave me. Looking so hard for something makes it easy for me to see warning signs even if there aren't any. I think something that's helped me is expressing my fears with the person I care about, often they feel the same way and knowing that we're both afraid of losing each other makes us feel more connected and makes the fear die down a little bit. Like always I feel the key to any healthy relationship lies in open communication and understanding with each other.
Anonymous
May 29th, 2016 12:39pm
Because you don't trust her enough. You need to have a relationship strong enough so that you can trust in her, to not cheat on you.
Anonymous
August 28th, 2019 5:22pm
your feeling might be based on her behavior or her untrustworthy character but it can also be related to you. you probably aren't able to trust her because you either have trust issues or you somehow don't think you are good enough therefore you think she will look for someone else who seems better than you. these are merely assumptions, i am not aiming to offend you, just suggesting few things to think about and evaluate about yourself.
MissMostlyHappy
June 14th, 2018 4:42pm
Do you think you have trust issues? It may be the you've been treated badly in the past and you're just trying to guard your heart a bit more
Anonymous
May 11th, 2016 1:07am
It depends. Maybe there's something she's doing that causes you to think that she's cheating, or maybe you're projecting your own feelings onto her. It could be possible that you are thinking of cheating on her, or are, and you're projecting what you're doing onto her. Or maybe you just aren't a veryy trusting person. You should tell her about how you feel.
Anonymous
February 15th, 2020 9:03am
Thinking your girlfriend is cheating is often a sign of insecurity in a relationship. You should talk through your worries with her and try to work out the problems that led you to believe she was cheating. You could always start with “We need to talk..” or another “cliche”, and they're cliches because they work....... During your trigger episodes, you may be tempted to do things like check ... If you always find yourself imagining your partner cheating when they're out ... Saying something like, “I'm in control of my thoughts,” or, “I trust what I know, you know?
TheCup5893
April 27th, 2018 11:44pm
It's probably because of the lack of trust. Has your girlfriend given you reasons to not trust her? I'd strongly suggest you to talk to a listener about this, so that you get some clarity. And of course, there's still that conversation with your girlfriend that is pending. I hope everything works out for the best. :) Good luck. :)
Anonymous
February 23rd, 2017 5:27pm
Because you are very insecure and have something within yourself that you need to work on. My ex always felt I was cheating too, and I never cheated on him. He was very insecure and I wondered if he was cheating on me.
Anonymous
May 18th, 2016 9:14am
There could be different reasons why you think your girlfriend is cheating. It could be that you're scared of her leaving you. This might be tied to your insecurity. It could be that you're scared that she might not like you enough or that she thinks you are not a good partner. If you think you always think your girlfriend is cheating because of insecurities, I would highly suggest that you talk about it with her. It could also be that you struggle with paranoia and trust issues. Going to a professional to figure out where these issues stem from can be really helpful. Talking about that with her can be incredibly helpful too.
Melissame
May 23rd, 2018 6:31pm
If your girlfriend has given you no reason to not trust her then maybe this is something you yourself needs to work on. Have your past relationships been difficult? How do you view yourself? Is it positive or negative? If your self esteem is low then this could be playing on your mind, therefore you believe your girlfriend will think the same and find someone else. Work on your own self esteem. Try to talk to your girlfriend, It becomes a lot easier when you work together.
Anonymous
June 25th, 2018 12:41am
if you think your girlfriend is cheating, don't be afraid to ask, don't be hostile in any which way, because sometimes we tend to make assumptions and those don't bring us the results we need
LittlemissGi
May 21st, 2016 10:41pm
I always felt like my boyfriend was cheating because I didn't trust him, I use to but he ruined our trust when I caught him with his ex. Wasn't the same after that.
Akshita0612
January 5th, 2018 10:59am
Sometimes we feel insecure in a relationship, maybe because of the missing communication, or the level of understanding. It is important to talk about things and making each other comfortable and secure
ingeniousPeace79
August 9th, 2017 4:43pm
negative feeling, fear of loss and each feeling needs a platform on which it can stand and be manifested platform = beliefs because beliefs give interpretation, or shape strongly the interpretation of what you see and these beliefs we copy from parents, as you probably already know it's not "normal" or whatever to feel this way first step is to recognize it as bad from your own point of view and be conscious about your behavior, but in real time, not after the fact this work, this effort, will transfer the new truths into your subconscious like for example: "i have to reach a state of normality in which i trust my girlfriend" "so trust = normal" fighting the negative doesn't work monitoring the behavior does, and judging it actively delaying the negative behavior works too, if it's possible for you to do it, but not required active monitoring, real time, judging, goes to root and always trying to shift attention to new direction: "trust = normal" with time, subconscious will pick up the new norm from you and it's not a long time really, if you are decisive subconscious loves decisiveness, so it might be a quick change
RNKeene
May 25th, 2016 3:47am
Trust is a major part of any relationship. If we have a low self-esteem, or feel insecure, this may cause us to question our partners. If you believe your girlfriend is cheating, ask yourself why? Did something happen that made you question your trust? If you have a good reason, talk to her about your concerns. If you are thinking about cheating, talk to her about that as well. Always helps to keep in open, honest dialogue going if you can.
Anonymous
June 30th, 2018 11:10pm
Has she been acting unusual or distant lately? Those could be signs that something is not right. If she has maybe try talking to her about how you both feel in the relationship.
LimpyT
November 22nd, 2017 1:59pm
Insecurity; when you feel more comfortable with yourself you will feel more comfortable in your relationship. She has chosen you, if you continue to suspect your risk pushing her away.
AutumnLeigh
March 9th, 2017 1:38am
There could be many reasons. Have you been cheated on in the past and still reluctant to trust? Do you see signs of cheating in your girlfriend's actions? If you have lack of trust from a former relationship, please try to remember that was a different person and your girlfriend deserves your trust unless she breaks it. If you are wary of her actions, communicate your fears with her in a kind and non-accusing manner. You may find that your thoughts are groundless. Good luck!
gracefulNutella94
May 20th, 2016 2:06am
Your very insecure, and your insecurities reflect into jealousy, if you are insecure with being able to trust someone you become jealous , and make you feel like you can't trust that she will not cheat on you
MelissaStraussLPC
March 17th, 2019 2:23pm
Hi there! Here is an article I really like when exploring anxiety and attachment styles for relationships. Have you spoken with your partner about how you have been feeling at all? There can be so many factors that go into how we feel about ourselves and relationships. Lots of times if we have been cheated on in the past, it affects our trust levels and how often we feel that we can let other people in. It is important to listen to your intuition and pay attention to where anxiety parts come from. Wishing you the best! https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-change-your-attachment-style/
Anonymous
May 29th, 2016 10:01am
I think that you may have some problems in your relationship, one of those is mistrust. Think about your relationship objectively. Does you girlfriend show you respect and does she give you reasons not to trust her? Does she spend much time with others and not you? Try to talk about it with her and try to understand her true intentions.
Anonymous
April 9th, 2020 7:57am
the mind is a very old bio computer that is designed to look for danger so since we are not cave men any more the mind is looking for different forms of danger weather that be little things or more complex things like your girl friend cheating on you perhaps you have dropped the ball in your relationship and your mind is red flagging you to be more loving and a better man in relation to the relationship people get lazy and things slip in relationships so then the mind comes in and says danger things are different perhaps its a sign that there is danger in that your girlfriend is cheating...but anyway the mind will keep coming up with different possible danger signals now there are no big cats or wolves around as much.
MoodyEve
June 3rd, 2016 1:52pm
Perhaps you have been let down before and are struggling to trust, or maybe you are thinking about cheating yourself which could also make you think since you are thinking about it perhaps everyone else is.
Anonymous
May 20th, 2016 1:42am
If this is your first relationship, you may be anxious about your girlfriend. Talk to her about how you feel.
sereneStrawberry33
February 26th, 2017 1:39pm
Is it possible you have been cheated on in the past? Perhaps this person is doing things which remind you of things your cheating ex did. This could either mean that you have learned the signs of a cheater, or that you are simply assuming things based upon seeing things that look similar in this girl. Is it possible she has done something very subtle that hints that she is cheating, even though it isn't direct or obvious? I'd say the best thing is to politely and gently ask her about it. Don't assume the worst. You might be able to tell by the way she answers.