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How can I stop thinking about my ex?

241 Answers
Last Updated: 06/08/2022 at 1:00pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Canada
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Kajsa Futrell, RTC

Counselor

I specialise in respectfully helping people navigate their way through trauma and relationship issues. The adversities in our life can actually transform us.

Top Rated Answers
Listeningjaja
December 28th, 2019 12:14am
Slowly the thoughts you have about your ex will become less and less frequent. It’s hard to see now but soon you will be going about your day and you will notice you have not thought about them all day, or even for a few days. It takes time but it does happen. Try to focus on yourself and what makes you happy, don’t even focus on the bad times you had with them because that doesn’t do you any good. There is a reason they are your ex and you have so much more to look forward to that is positive!
Anonymous
July 15th, 2018 11:08am
Speaking from personal experience. The best thing I found was to keep busy! Especially doing hobbies, seeing friends and family, and finding new things that you enjoy! The more time you spend doing other things, you’re not able to concentrate on an ex as you have less time to. Your mind will be occupied doing other things :).
Anonymous
November 29th, 2019 1:49am
Try focusing on something else in your life, your studies, career, family, friends, self care... Put all that energy you spend on your ex on something else. Find a new hobbies or start a new project, always keep your mind busy with something else. And don't punish yourself if you find yourself thinking about your ex, sometimes we do think about it and it's okay too, but when you do think about it, try to look at things with a critical point of view and understand what went wrong in your relationship and take that as a learning for future relations.
CherryBlossom360
November 15th, 2019 4:13pm
First of all, you need to allow yourself some time to fully process the situation and what happened. This means that you need to allow your thoughts about him/her to flow through your mind---this is so that you can find closure, and move on with your life. Next, you need to eliminate him from your life in any way that you can (at least until you are sure that you are over him/her). This means that you need to delete his number, unfollow his Instagram & Facebook, and unadd him on snapchat. Doing these things will help you, but remember that in the long run' only time can heal.
Angela913
November 11th, 2019 9:05pm
it’s quite normal to be still thinking about them. Your brain might be telling you to text or call him/her because you miss them and the security of your relationship. Sometimes the pain of missing your ex might interfere with your life on many levels. *Perhaps you can’t concentrate at work? *Maybe it’s causing havoc with the relationships you have with your friends and family? *You might be trying to mask the hurt by drinking or getting into drugs? Experts agree that time will heal your pain but the longer you let it simmer the worse off you will be. Many people don’t realized how difficult breaking up is until it happens. There are all sorts of different routes to end a relationship. And yes, some people can breakup and remain good friends. Just understand that’s more like the exception to the rule and not the rule. Ask yourself if you are truly trying to forget about your ex? If you aren’t on board with this totally, well, it’s just not going to happen. Beware there are certain instances where you ex will creep back into your head and you need to be ready to accept, understand, and take action to move on.
Anonymous
November 8th, 2019 12:45pm
1. Block them on whatever social media you have with them. 2. Stop communicating with them. 3. Think about all the reasons why you guys broke up and why you're better of without them. 4. If it was a bad breakup remember why it was bad and why you wanted them out of your life. 5. Stop going over your memories with them and talking to your friends about them- completely erase them from your life. 6. Move on- start spending more time with your friends or on your hobbies or interests. This helps you move on and forget about them.
uniqueAngel8317
October 26th, 2019 4:24pm
To be honest, it is hard to forget someone who was in your life that you shared emotions with, and have memories about. In the moments where you are thinking about your ex, dont run away from it. Sit down in a quiet space, allow those thoughts for a few minutes, focus on the good ones. Remember the reasons for your break up and take a mindful exercise after that. Be it some deep breathing, or what makes you feel calm. Then leave all those thoughts there. Get up and do something else. With time you will be able to control the thoughts and slowly you will find you are having less thoughts about your ex.
breezydays222
August 28th, 2019 6:21am
Realise that as much as you are thinking about the good times, when it's all over, that person was not perfect- of course, nobody is perfect! There must have been times in the relationship where you might have thought "this person isn't right for me." Of course, you shouldn't ever completely discount the good times- the positive feelings you had with them, the great moments that you shared, all of the reasons you were with them, but realise too, that every relationship is a balance, and they are a real person who surely made mistakes. The more you see your ex as a flawed person, the less you will think back on them as a dream you can't get back.
Anonymous
July 28th, 2019 1:13pm
I always say this, the thing you resist, it persists. So, do not resist the thought of anything but think about it once and for all. Go to the roots of the thought, and explore all horizons. And then, you never need to "stop" thinking about anything, the thoughts will just go away. Given this, its also important to keep yourself busy. Empty mind is devil's playground, right? So, find something healthy to do, go for a walk, pursue a hobby, cook, game, spend some time with family, maybe work extra hours. Feed you brain some new thoughts. To dwell in past can be addictive, make an effort to refrain yourself from doing it.
Enso
June 27th, 2019 9:50pm
Living in the past is like always looking in the rear view mirror. You never get to see the beauty of what is in front of you. Use your past relationship as a learning experience. It can teach you what you want and what you don’t want in your next one. Get back to knowing yourself and nurturing yourself. Get back to knowing who and what you are as an individual and continue to foster its growth. Take the time to begin focusing on yourself again. The ending of a relationship is a loss and it will require structure, routine, and processing that loss to heal.
Anonymous
June 26th, 2019 5:52am
A breakup can be a very painful thing to face in life. But the things are gone is gone. Firstly you should convince your mind and explain to that he or she is no more there and should be ready to get over this.always remind yourself that you deserve much much better. Remind youself that person is the one at lost but not you because , you lost someone who doesn't love you or Care for you and that's why left you but, that person lost someone who loved him or her truly and really cared and therefore he or she is the one at lost. get rid of each and everything that keeps you reminded of him or her and make yourself busy for sometime and if you get reminded of him at that time delay that feeling. don't hate him or her beacuse then you'll be reminded of them back again. Let things go. Be busy with your life.set goals and strive hard to achieve them. Treat yourself well (like go shopping buy things and even party with your friends). Tell your friends not to remind you of your past . And you'll get over things. Always be happy dear. Believe me "you deserve better ".
Bluemoon2277
June 26th, 2019 12:08am
A great way to stop thinking about your ex is to distract yourself with things that make you happy. Try out new hobbies, join a group in school or out of school. Do things you did before your relationship that made you happy. Go to the beach and watch the sunset, do yoga, take on things that will relax you. Hang out with friends and family that make you happy and feel loved. If you start surrounding yourself with people who make you feel loved you’ll start to grow and realize you don’t need your ex to be happy or need them. You’ll realize you only need yourself.
athenacleere
July 21st, 2018 2:00am
Think about why you left your ex, if it’s a bad reason then try to realize that you left them for a reason and then it’s not good for you to be hung up on them.
Anonymous
June 20th, 2019 6:45am
This is a good question that we ask our self a lot on points on life but u have to understand first that if u really wanna move on u must out go first before everything u must let this person go AMD understand that sometimes things aren't meant to be for both of y'all together I know it hurts I know u still care but sweetie it gets better trust me it does and now don't focus on finding someone focus on being u on getting yourself together on getting yourself some fresh air cut or on cleaning your room ect focus on u and when u do then your gonna realize that u don't need no one that's when your gonna stop thinking about your ex
Smallpip64
June 5th, 2019 3:46pm
You can’t just stop thinking about an ex, especially if they meant a significant amount to you. It won’t be like magic, you won’t be able to wake up one day and be okay, believe me if it were that easy everyone would be much happier. One day your going to get up and realize you don’t need them anymore, maybe at one time they helped you through a difficult time in your life but you’ve both grown now, and maybe you’ve helped each other grow as much as you can. You’ll wake up one day and be happy that they were in your life, you won’t regret it, they made you who you are today and that’s something you never could have done alone.
glisteningKoala40
October 19th, 2018 1:15pm
I must admit I really had a rough time to getting over my ex too. First of all you need to Understand the reason why you two broke up. Try to analise your relationship. Why did things go that way? Was he/she the right one? Once you understand the reason and your mistakes,try to ask yourself why do you actually think that it is so difficult to get over them? Why do you still think about him/her? What do you miss? What did they offer you? Sometimes you just miss the idea of the person. Relationships are a part of our daily life and once we break up.. well we start feeling like something is missing. And that‘s alright. Take your time, it‘s okay to think about people who once were special to you and who you once loved. Allow this to yourself. Give yourself the time you need. BUT don‘t forget to concentrate on yourself too. Keep yourself busy with the things you love. It will get better, I promise :)
hopefulWillow86
July 28th, 2018 10:14pm
If you truly want to move on from your ex, it will take time and a bit of effort. Start by removing the things that remind you of them from your life. This can be anything from physical items to pictures on your phone or music playlists. If possible, it may also be helpful to unfollow them on social media. Start to fill your life with things outside of them (e.g. different people, new hobbies). The less you remind yourself of them the better. Ultimately, time will be your best ally. One day you will realize that you no longer think of them the way you used to. If you do, try to remember the positive and graciously accept it as part of your past.
Anonymous
July 26th, 2018 11:16pm
Work on yourself. Love yourself and think more positively for the future better than the past . The future is holding so many amazing people and challenges for you . Do what you love and what gives you joy . Keep yourself busy .
poetrymyg
July 29th, 2018 9:25pm
Distracting yourself with things that make you happy, such as little things, can help you stop thinking about your ex. Be sure to surround yourself with positivity. Taking a relaxing bath, talking to your friends, going for a walk, reading a book, or playing music are some suggestions.
lyricalWillow92
August 9th, 2018 10:04pm
Fixing on an ex might seem charming. It might even seem loyal. But if we see the picture a little closer, it means looking for love where it isn't. To get over someone, you first need to get over the idea that your ex was this perfect being. You should really get serious now. Take a notebook and with great details write down all the things you liked about her. There are other people with the same qualities. The liberation is not the moving on. But its that the same qualities we liked in our ex are present in other beings.
GermanZebraCupcake
August 11th, 2018 3:45am
Consider distracting yourself with other things you enjoy such as watching movies, calling family or friends, reading a book, going for a walk/run, or learning a new skill.
Ruth250
August 15th, 2018 4:06pm
Get Busy, focus all your thoughts and energy on yourself. Find a new hobby or join a sports group to meet new friends. keep looking into the future and keep rewarding yourself on choices that are helping you move on.
Anonymous
August 23rd, 2018 4:01pm
Make yourself busy in the works you love to do like sing a song, paint something. If possible try to make some new hobbies which will make you happy and motivated. If possible go out spend your day with those people who love you like your family members and your friends. And at last the most important thing is to Believe in yourself believe that you deserve someone better someone who care for you, someone who understands you and supports you. The most important thing someone who Respect you, your thoughts and your individuality and doesn't try to change you. Someone who will love you the way you are
Anonymous
August 26th, 2018 10:26am
These seven simple, effective tips on how to stop thinking about your ex-husband or ex-boyfriend will help you overcome obsessive thoughts. Take heart, for you will move on with your life. You can stop ruminating about the past – and you can rebuild your life, renew your heart, and restore your joy! The most important thing to remember is that you’re caught in a destructive, habitual thought pattern. You aren’t trapped and helpless; you are simply in the grip of an obsessive way of thinking. Learning how to stop thinking about your ex simply requires you to break the habit. It takes energy and dedication at first, but you can stop the obsessive thoughts about the person you lost – you can let go of someone you love. Another important thing to remember when you’re learning how to stop obsessing is that you are not alone. Millions of people have broken their addictions to their ex-boyfriends or ex-husbands, and so can you.
empatheticmvw
September 21st, 2018 2:44am
You can stop thinking about your ex by not perpetuating situations that trigger thinking about him/her. For example, looking at old photos, going to places you used to attend together. If you are stuck in a mindset thinking about your ex, change the physical location you are in and do something different. Doing new activities that you didn't formerly do when you were with your ex builds new brain chemistry and you replace old experiences with new ones. Try new things. Create a behavior that you use every time you think of your ex that is new and unique to the new, single, you. Try humming, writing a haiku, going for a walk or any other form of behavior based self care that stimulates your mind, body, and heart.
RumpleSteeleSkin
July 21st, 2018 9:39pm
Not thinking of your ex can be challenging. Maybe not "stopping" but just let those thoughts flow through. Don't judge them or push them aside. Over time those feelings/thoughts will lesson.
Anonymous
September 30th, 2018 7:30am
The main thing that should be addressed first is, what kind of thoughts are you having about your ex? Positive good memories, or negative and bad ones? The most common reason people get back together, is because they seem to only think of the good times after a break up. They focus on how great that person is, instead of remembering all the bad and issues that were recently happening. One way to help the thought of that person lessen, is to realistically remember why it ended. Whether it was you or them, someone isn’t happy which means the other more than likely wouldn’t be either. Keeping busy is the second best way to distract the mind from thinking about an ex. Surrounding yourself with family and friends, doing the things you enjoy, exercising, and maybe even finding a new hobby.
JayJacket
October 4th, 2018 3:28am
In my personal experience, it helps to cry about it for the first day. Then do whatever makes you happy. Video games, hanging with friends, bowling, etc... Go out there you define yourself that ex wont make you a better person, cooler, popular, etc... What makes you is you nothing more nothing less. So if your ex can't see how amazing you are then they don't deserve you go find someone who will love you for you and won't care about your imperfections. You are amazing you can do anything if you put your mind to it you don't need your ex to be you. You are you. They will never define who you are.
VioletaClaire
January 24th, 2019 2:40am
Acknowledging that you miss your ex will be a good start. Plan your day with activities that may not be something you used to do with your ex but things you always wanted to do. Make a list. Start with simple goals that are realistic and doable. Set the time and day you want to do it. I would normally plan a day or two in advance. That way, I am keen to do it. For example, if you plan to exercise, get your gears ready the night before. If there are setbacks, don't beat yourself up. It's ok. You can try again the next day. That will be a good start.
magicalEagle86
February 13th, 2019 11:58pm
This question involves two elements. One is the urge to go back which is the reason we keep thinking about them, and the other is regret that arises from negative experience which makes us want to escape the thoughts relating to them. Thinking of what you have experienced with your ex as a memory to cherish and a lesson to learn will contribute to your perspective of the issue. Your ex was also a normal human being, and there were down sides to the relationship which caused your paths to separate. After a breakup, we tend to focus on the good things we have lost, but couldn't that also be a way that leads to better things by leaving negative things behind? We all have a lot to see, and obviously there is not only one person that we will love. Cherishing the moments that happened and looking forward with the things you have learned from that experience is the best way you can benefit from the past and add meaning to the present.