How do I stop myself from texting him?
Last Updated: 10/28/2018 at 5:30pm
Jui Shankar, Ph.D
My worldview offers a systems perspective that values diverse clients and their struggles. I believe supportive and nonjudgmental therapeutic relationships empower clients.
Top Rated Answers
Wait 24 hours before you hit send. If your experience is anything like mine, you'll be glad you didn't hit send the next day. Instead of texting, consider writing an email. Don't send it though for 24 hours though!!! In my experience, a text or any kind of communication sent in haste has been a (sometimes huge) mistake but I was never unhappy with my decision NOT to send something after I'd waited 24 hours. I've kept a lot of the emails I didn't send and some are downright comical after a few years have passed and, at the same time, painful to read. When I was younger, I was desperate to keep people in my life who I later would realize were not worth the time and effort. Nowadays I focus on doing things that make me happy instead of hanging on to people who clearly didn't hold me in as high a priority as I held them. Self-forgiveness is key.
one thing i learned to do is, instead of texting him directly, keep a journal and write to him as you would be speaking to him.
Close your eyes, take a deep breath in, and remind yourself that YOU DESERVE MORE. Texting him would make you feel better in the moment, but long term it is only going to hurt you and keep you from moving on. It is the moments when you put down your phone and remember how amazing and awesome you are that help you grow into a better person. You want to stop texting him for a reason, remember that reason and dont give in. Yeah, it is hard, but it will make you strong. Or, delete his number and past conversations so you physically cannot text him again.
think about the THE VALUE YOU GIVE TO YOURSELF.....Don’t tell yourself that you’re powerless over this. By saying “how do I stop myself” from texting him – you’re acting like you’re powerless to the urge to text him..You just don’t text him. That’s it. Each time you want to pick up the phone text a nice one to your parents or a close friend..start a conversation with others who cherish you..Our mind is the most powerful thing in the world. Mind over matter, as what they say. Keep on thinking that you should NOT text him. When you feel the urge, use your mind to think about other things. It’s all about having the right mindset...
don't stop. why stop? just go to the end and see what that's like. otherwise you won't stop texting him and your future ex's.
Understand that you cannot make someone care for you who just doesnt. You should try and have some self respect :)
When the anxiety of texting him starts, you should remember the bad things he did to you, for you to stop. Also think he does not text yyou.. so why should you?
Keep busy! Keep active! He is not worth your text. Remind yourself why you shouldnt text him. You may miss him now, but time will pass and it will get easier. Someone much more deserving for that text you want to send right now, is just around the corner. Turn the page, that chapter of him is done. Do not text him.
Build up your self control. Delete his number if you have to. I'm sure you remember it by heart but everytime you feel like texting him, recollect why you stopped in the first place.
Stop. Breathe. Put the phone down and count to 100. If you still feel like texting him after, walk away from the phone and do something productive. Draw, read a book...anything to get your mind off of him.
This is a very broad question... but here's some perspective from my point of view. I was in a relationship for about two years, and I thought that my significant other at them time was the one I would spend the rest of my life with. I was naive and clueless because now when I look back and reflect upon this relationship I had... I've come to terms with the fact that it was very toxic. He just wanted to keep me there as his 'trophy' and my ex used me. I lost my independence and self respect. because of this. I had no voice, and I lost a lot of friends because I couldn't explain why I couldn't go out and be free. He was my only friend during this time so I depended on him a lot. Basically, this is a really broad topic, so I'd say in order to cut off contact, keep your chin up and respect yourself enough and have enough self-control to get out of that relationship. And even afterwards, have the strength to refuse his advances and keep reminding yourself that the relationship ended for a reason, and it was probably better that way... so, chin up lovely~ be strong!
Ask yourself: Is he really worth it? If yes, ask yourself why you think so. If you can't find 5 reasons why, tell yourself you deserve better.
The first thing that you have to remember is that the relationship you had is over and if he wanted to be with you, he would have already texted you back. The first thing, which you should do is the obvious one..delete that person from your contact list.Remove him from all social media.There is much in this world than relationships and being in a relationship with somebody.Take this time to improve yourself, take this as an oppurtunity to grow your talents. Work on that hobby you've been putting up for years. Go and hang out with your friends. Read books, write books. You dont know the power you have!! :D
Block his number - it's only for your own good! Letting go is the best thing you can do. Becoming independent is the best thing to do for yourself - you do not need a guy. All you need is yourself :)
Remember the reason you stopped texting him in the first place. The situation was most likely a toxic relationship that was not positively affecting you. I don't recommend you rekindle that particular flame.
It is not very easy letting go of things. It is difficult especially when without your recognizing it, texting him had become a habit. There are two reasons to stop texting, one because you get abusive replies, two because you are never replied to and ignored. Either way it is you who lose your peace. So, think about it every time you try texting him. Some people are not worthy enough to lose your cool over, so just ignore them, stop sending texts, and it will definitely boost up your self-esteem.
Its hard, but if want to break from a relationship, you have to focus on yourself. You've seen your happiness for so long as intrinsically linked with him, and so refocusing your sense of value to yourself has to be your priority. Isolate some memories that don't involve him- and consider deleting your message history.
Honestly, you need to delete his number from your phone. And if you already have his number memorized, tell someone to hide your phone from you. I'm not even kidding.
Focus your energy on something else. Realize that texting him will give you momentary relief but can cause you hurt later. Keep your future self in mind.
I completely understand that feeling, but why do you want to text him? What do you think will happen?
Hide your phone, Delete his number, if you remember his number by heart try forgetting it. If you're trying to refrain from texting him to give him space or to stop doing it as much those options still apply, but give your phone to a friend or someone that you trust to hold for a least a couple of days or you can just simply block his number from your phone. Some phones you can't do that, you would have to talk to whatever service you use such as Straight talk or at&t and connect to a customer service line and they would assist you, by doing that for you. Honestly if you want him back or you like/love him if you give it enough time depending on why the relationship ended in the first place, they will wind up hitting you up.
I think you have to be your own motivation. I'm sure you want to text him. Saying all things you want or even have a normal chat. But focus. You doesn't make you feel good, does he? At the end of the day, it's your life. Don't text him. Don't make it worst. Let him go. Sometimes, it's the only option for us to be okay.
First, realize there is a reason you want to stop - you wouldn't be asking this question if there wasn't. You are mature enough to ask this question and recognize this isn't the normal texting - there is something about this that makes it wrong. Focus on that reason, whatever it may be. Text another friend; watch a movie; turn off your phone and go out - do whatever it takes to distract yourself, and every time you feel that you want to text him, remind yourself of the list of reasons why it's wrong or makes you feel as if you shouldn't. You can do it!
Sometimes it helps to write out a list of the reasons that you shouldn't be texting him, encouraging yourself, and giving yourself alternatives for texting him. For instance, WHY NOT: 1) I am protecting my emotions. 2) We broke up because... ENCOURAGE: 1) I am strong 2) I am an overcomer... ALTERNATIVES: 1) Call up my best friend on the phone. 2) take a warm bath... Writing out these lists serves as a reminder, gives encouragement, and presents an alternative. Good luck, you can do it!
It's not going to be easy, sometimes you just have to do it and learn from it, but if you really don't want to ask friends and family for help it can be fun they can stop you when your about to text or call him!
As hard as it may be, if you are trying to cut off and and all contact, blocking his number is really helpful because you can't see if he sends you anything. He also won't show up in your contacts.
To not text someone is difficult. Even picking up the phone is enough to start something. What you need to do, is delete him from your contacts, as well as block him. If you really want to stop texting him, you'll have to completely disconnect.
Try not to focus on 'not texting him'. Instead put your energy into positive action and activities: Pursue hobbies, get in touch with friends, go watch a movie, volunteer - make your life better and you'll be drawn to love and light :)
Put your phone away ,turn on TV, and Invite a friend over. Distract yourself from feeling lonely while you surround yourself with people who really love you.
This is a hard one! I would know! I love to stay in constant contact with my boyfriend. Not that I don't trust him but I like to feel connected and reassured that he is thinking of me too. I try to think of all of the things he is probably busy doing! Your boyfriend probably has a job and commitments just like you do. I always find a way to be able to text him during the day but he isn't so lucky. I also try to keep in mind that even though he isn't texting me doesn't mean he doesn't care. Men tend to have a hard time with multitasking and need to focus on one thing at a time and are easily distracted. I'm sorry if i'm generalizing but this is just from my experience. Women can seem to handle more interruptions and therefore don't typically mind lots of texting. Try focusing on your own task at hand and take a step back from your phone. You might be surprised at how productive you can become if you just let go a little and focus on yourself!
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