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I regret breaking up with my ex. What should I do?

235 Answers
Last Updated: 04/07/2022 at 6:38pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Canada
Moderated by

Maryna Svitasheva, PhD. RP

Licensed Professional Counselor

Psychotherapy I provide is based on a dialog and your active intention to look for a solution with the therapist's assistance

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
April 4th, 2020 11:51pm
Be honest to them about how you've been feeling. Think about where the relationship went wrong the first time and how you can improve it in the future. Then approach them and try talking about it with them. Always be honest in a relationship and see where it goes. But at the same time it takes two people two have a relationship so its now up to them to decide whether or not they want something. Don't be afraid for the answer to be no but give it a shot if you really want to try again. Good luck! -Anonymour Turtle
Anonymous
April 5th, 2020 1:32am
Many times after a break up, we tend to question ourselves as to was it the right thing to do or what if I made a mistake in ending the relationship. We also tend to or positive and have the good in the person outshine the bad. Which is very good but you also have to remember there was that you broke up with this person. Try to differentiate the good and the bad and bad stuff, think about it. Can I live with this? Is it all that bad? Can we work and around this problem? And after you’ve answered all of these, and you’ve realized that the bad things are you things you consider deal breakers, you’ll understand why you shouldn’t continue the relationship.
Coquine
April 11th, 2020 1:36pm
We all regret decisions at some point in our lives, but does it ever get us anywhere? Living in the past can be a hard thing, and I always find myself feeling most confident when I am accepting of my own decisions and follow through. I can't tell you what to do, because what works for me, might not work for you, but I can tell you about a time when I felt the same way. You are not alone in this experience, we have all been there and will probably all revisit it again someday. Acceptance is one of the tools that will help you get through this.
Anonymous
April 17th, 2020 11:37am
That depends on you , I can’t tell you what you should do in this situation but I can help , writing down your emotions and how you feel about them is one strategy you can use , settling your emotions helps with making decisions , it’s youre choice whether to talk to them or not but it would help if you thought about your feeling maybe start a journal , journals help because u can write all you feelings down and get in touch with yourself better , going over the pros and cons of what you regret can help you come to a good decision
Anonymous
April 24th, 2020 8:27am
Well there is a reason why it happened. Now you need to ask yourself why you broke up and list the things down. It is a difficult decision whether to hold on to someone or to let go of them but everything happens for a reason. How you feel about it and what you want, can only be answere by one person, that is, you. Break ups are always difficult but ask yourself you did and why do you think that you want him back. Then decide if that is what you truly want, if yes, then I think you know what you need t do.
playfulRainbow4528
April 29th, 2020 6:07pm
Based off of my own experience, these feelings of regret are often confused with feelings of loneliness and loss. You need time to reflect on these feelings by doing what you feel allows you to express yourself best! Whether it is journaling, poetry or song writing, it allows you to process these thoughts. If this doesn't help, then definitely talk to someone who you trust. This is for gaining outside perspective and opinions that are not biased or involved. Communication and the thought process are key here. Do not make decisions in a hurry and because you feel obligated to. Do what feels right for you.
AllThogether
May 6th, 2020 9:02am
From my experience I only broke up with someone if I am sure there is no way that relationship is going to work. It can be hurtful to break up with someone over and over again for both of you, and we should never hurt each other. So think if there is a chance, think about why did you broke up in the fist place. Don't just go back because you miss being in a relationship, or because you feel uncomfortable on your own. It will get better! Sometimes it is better alone than with someone who is not right for you. Take care!
Anonymous
May 8th, 2020 9:20am
Try to talk to yourself several times a day, because it’s you who knows the best for you, who knows every detail about you, practice talking to yourself silently. Before you go to sleep, lie down on your bed/couch comfortably, make your body as comfortable as you can, then make your mind comfortable and then ask yourself what you did was wrong or right, what is this you are actually experiencing, why did you breakup with him/her. Does he/she ever tried to harm you. Was he/she a good person, a humble, loyal partner for you. All the answers are with you only. Try to sleep with these questions in your mind and no worries and I am sure in the morning whatever is good for you will pop! Take care
Anonymous
May 13th, 2020 2:47am
I have learned people need people and healthy conversations can shine light in a dark space. Self assessment is key then you can help others. I learned to take 1 day at a time and enjoy the process no matter the good and bad times. Always re adjust the lens you use to view life. take time to reflect, accept and grow. We need to be honest and communicate. Communication can mend a broken heart and fix misunderstandings. Communication opens the door for friendships, reconciliation and healing. We all have wonderful different and unique personalities, so whatever you decide to do make sure your authentic.
chipsanddips254
May 27th, 2020 1:14pm
Unfortunately, my training does not allow me to give advice so I can not tell you what to do. You know yourself and your ex better then I do so this is your call. Why do you not tell me why You broke up with them in the first place and we can try to find you a clear path? Taking about your experience to another person might bring to light new point of views and facts that you had not noticed before. This can help you make a healthy decision! It’s good to have someone to talk to!
zealousWinter25
June 4th, 2020 1:35pm
This is always a difficult question to answer. Feelings of regret are natural when something comes to end. I guess a starting place is to ask yourself why you broke up in the first place? Are the reasons valid? Secondly, give yourself some time away from the individual, it can help you determine what you real feelings are, especially if you can go a sustained period of time with no contact. Then have a look at their current situation, are they single? Is there a possibility of you getting back together? And after taking some time, assessing reasons as to why you broke up, perhaps then you can decide the next steps, whether to get back together or realise it's not right for you. Not a definitive answer but I hope this helps.
GeorginasRayoflittleLight
June 13th, 2020 12:00pm
Remember why you broke up with them in the first place. When you've done that, ask yourself whether this reason is still worth it. Did you break up with them in that moment because you were angry?, Have they really been a good partner to you?. If you find you had a good reason to end thingsss, there's no need to be regretful, youve made the right choice, and things may hurt right now but they wont hurt forever. However, if you trult think youve made a mistake ending things, then talk to your ex as soon as possible, I think there's still a lot to talk about.
Anonymous
June 17th, 2020 6:42am
Breaking up brings a whole lot of change inside your life . It feels like your life has gone upside down. But what you need to remember are the reasons why that happened. Something must have happened that triggered you to go ahead and breakup. Things become difficult after we break up. Our day feels empty, it feels like we have got no one we can share our stuff with. These reasons make you said and prompt a rebound. Understand you're sad over the changes it brought in your life not because the breakup was a wrong thing to do. And whatever happens just be kind to yourself. Take care of yourself. Cook yourself great food, watch movies, talk to your friends. The best way to move on is to invest maximum of your time in constructive things. Hope it helps.
QuantumPower8
June 19th, 2020 8:25pm
Relationships can be difficult and there are some choices you might not comprehend once you make it. Communication is a must in every relationship whether it is with a friend or a significant other. Consider having a conversation and voicing your opinion to your ex and discuss where you guys are and how you feel. I know what you are going through. Relationships are complex but it is not meant to be easy. There are a lot of factors that come into play when deciding if the relationship will work out. Things happen and that is normal. Think about if this is what you want and then feel free to talk to them.
KyleStyle
June 24th, 2020 5:35am
It may be best for you to think about why you might be feeling this regret for breaking up with your ex. Once you think about the reasons why you may feel the feelings of regret, it is also as important to think about what were the reasons you decided to break up in the first place. I'm sure there was a reason that you made this decision. What was that? When you have that reason in your mind, I say it may be a good idea to gauge how these two reasons work with one another. What I mean by this is, you had reasons to break up with your ex, however now you were feeling regret. Were those original feelings justified? Do your feelings of regret cancel out the decision you made to break up in the first place? Think about these two questions, they make give you some insightful answers.
Anonymous
June 26th, 2020 3:39am
Thank you for sharing. You are being thoughtful about this decision. What do you regret specifically? What made you break up with your ex in the first place? How did you feel while breaking up? What problems were popping up? I would listen to what your heart says and what your head says and compare the two. What are you hoping your ex would respond? What is the worst case scenario? It sounds like you might be feeling guilty and want to retract ending the relationship. Who are you feeling guilty towards? I know from my own experience that relationships are complicated and can get stressful, but it's important that you consider yourself as well. In relationships, we learn more about ourselves--our strengths, weaknesses, ways of loving, and we grow through them. How did you feel while being in that relationship? How do you feel without the relationship? How have your friends, family, and loved ones responded? What expectations have been met by your ex? What expectations did they not meet? If you were talking to a friend worried about their relationship, what do you think warrants ending a relationship?
ces101
July 25th, 2020 10:48am
as what they say 'never get jealous when you see your ex with someone else, because our parents taught us to give our used toys to the less fortunate'. Yes, making choices in life is not that easy sometimes you have to think not just twice but a hundred times. Regretting breaking up with your 'ex' might be one of stages to overcome with the trials. First, you must try to think the reason why your 'ex' leave you? 'did you a reason to make that person broke up with you? or vice versa'. If it's your fault then let go because sometimes no matter how hard you try, people leave. and it hurts, but you have to let them go. People aren't something that can ever be locked up. If they choose to walk away, they will- no matter what. We have to accept that breaking up with someone doesn't mean that you don't love them anymore. sometimes, it means that you love them enough to let them go because you want them to be happy and you realized that you're just not able to be happy together. all you have to do is endure the pain, be happy and love.
Aiyananolen
July 31st, 2020 9:33pm
When you think about this specific question, ask yourself, is he worth it, was he worth my tears, and was he there for me when i was there for him. If all the answers to those questions were no, then drop him. Move on girl, we only have one life to live. Go out and celebrate, this is a celebration. Show him how much he’s missing out, show him that you didn’t need him and that he needed you. You are so beautiful and gorgeous girl, you should’ve dropped him ages ago. Just think of it this way, he going down while your going up. Show him what he’s missing out on girlie!!
AdorableSoul224
August 8th, 2020 7:03am
Consider if you actually regret it, or if you're just only and or emotional. Sometimes we end up lonely and longing for the comforts of old relationships that weren't actually good for us. If after assessing the reason for your regret you still feel that you made a mistake by breaking up, consider speaking to them. Explain how you feel, and LISTEN with intent to understand how they feel about the situation. If the relationship was unhealthy, no matter how much you regret walking away, it's the best decision. Even if you're regretting it. You have to be happy alone before you can be happy with anyone else.
clairasienna
August 12th, 2020 12:49am
I would kindly and honestly give them a call or text telling them how you feel and that you miss them. (Try to stay genuine and self-aware about the fact that you may come off like your bored and in need of somebody random.) Try to show them that you are being serious and that they didn't do anything wrong and it was a mistake on your part, not theirs. I would apologize for any hurt you may have caused them in the process because breakups can really hurt somebody.
Anonymous
August 13th, 2020 12:06am
Well I know decisions like this can be hard on the mind but know that you made the decision yourself. Relationships end on rocky terms all the time but sometimes our feelings for our significant other can cloud our judgement and make us feel as if we make the wrong decision, when in the end it was the right decision for our well being in the end. We often need to let people go to improve ourselves and learn how to love ourselves without the help of a significant other. Do you feel that your well being would improve if you hadn’t have broken with your ex?
Anonymous
August 23rd, 2020 3:42pm
There must of been a reason why you broke up with them in the first place , is it a toxic relationship ? or miscommunication u should talk it out with them or get an outsider view of the relationship to see if its a smart idea to get back in. Talking is the best solution as communication is key to any health relationship and if u want it back u needed to both agree on the rules of ur relationship so that both parties get value out of the relationship not just one and love is a key component
meghanwap
October 9th, 2020 11:49am
If you regret breaking up with your ex try realizing the faults in the relationship and ask yourself if you really want to get back with her/him. If you feel the answer is yes then go to her/him and tell what you felt went wrong and why you guys broke up. If you feel that these things can be mended and can also improve the relationship then it is all good in the hood. If she/he does not want to get back then you must respect their decision and make ensure that in the next relationship you will avoid something like that. Always learn from your mistakes.
comfyshell7
October 16th, 2020 4:52am
It's understandable to feel regret after breaking up with a partner. If you have someone close to you that you can talk to, that may help. If not, feel free to reach out to someone on this platform; there are many qualified and compassionate volunteers who would be happy to listen to you. Otherwise, try practicing some self-care; read your favorite book, go for a walk outdoors, listen to your favorite songs, etc. Taking the time to focus on yourself will hopefully help you begin healing & will allow you some time away from thinking about the relationship or give you the space/time to think about the experience from a different perspective.
Anonymous
October 25th, 2020 8:06pm
Honestly, this is a feeling that I feel like I know far too well. When I was 18 I got into a relationship and it was one of the best things I had, but we broke up soon there after because of my choices. She responded horribly, and soon there after I regretted breaking up with her because I knew I could at that point never get her back even if I tried talking to her. Luckily, not all situations are like that. If you regret breaking up with your ex, like I did, you should try talking to them so you can both explain your side of the story. Honestly, I would just have open communication with them and try to talk to yourself to make sense as to why you broke up with them in the first place. Remember, they may not take you back and they might be upset and that's okay. They have a right to feel that way and they may not take you back. Don't force anything. If you get back together remember to have open communication.
Anonymous
November 12th, 2020 7:23am
Remind yourself of all the reasons you broke up in the first place. Was it an unhealthy relationship? If not and you still feel this way, try having a sensible conversation with your ex to find out whether they feel the same. It is possible you just don't like the change- being with them will have become something you're used to so you are starting to question yourself and doubt that you made the right decision. If you are sure that you regret it for the right reasons, then start by seeing if they are willing to be with you again. If they are not, then you should set off on a new path without them, and realise that you can be happy without them.
DarkPiT23
November 14th, 2020 1:00pm
So, In case someone regrets breaking up with their ex and want to get them back, the best thing to do is to INITIATE. Just go and approach them and tell them your feelings. In case its real love they will accept, if not then you know what junk you got to clear off. It's perfectly natural to have regrets even if you know the breakup is the best thing for you. Recognize that what you're feeling is normal and doesn't necessarily mean you made the wrong decision. Don't beat yourself up. This is a good time to practice radical acceptance. When you feel deep regrets after a breakup, it could be that you're simply not giving yourself enough time to recover. "The relationship didn't take a day to develop, so it's not something you're going to be able to get over overnight,"
Anonymous
November 19th, 2020 1:38pm
I believe you should journal your feelings and think about what went wrong in the relationship so you know how to move forward. Along with maybe talking with your ex to see what went wrong. For all you know a few months down the road yall might get back together and your relationship will be stronger. I firmly believe if a break up happens that time is the best to work on yourself so you can better yourself. Every time when I have a breakup that is what I do. It makes my next relationship a lot better the next time around.
Anonymous
November 21st, 2020 10:23am
Maybe try talking to someone about how you feel. You might just be feeling lonely and if you act on these emotions you might end up regretting getting back with your ex. Talk to someone you trust about how your feeling and if you think you should get back together then talk with your ex about their feelings and see if you can work it out.
Anonymous
November 26th, 2020 12:43am
You should talk to your ex about it. If you regret breaking up, then talk to them. The best way to do anything is to just communicate. Communication is the key to any relationship even the ones that are broken up. Also, if it was a mistake on your part, tell them that you are sorry and you regret everything that has happened. If it was a mistake on their part, be willing to accept their apology. If it was really meant to be, then you will be together no matter what. And if you two weren't meant to be then that's fine too! You just have to find someone that you are meant to be with!!! And you know that you weren't meant to be when you grow old and gray together with little to no problems!