I regret breaking up with my ex. What should I do?

168 Answers
Last Updated: 03/17/2019 at 3:43pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Melissa Hudson, MS Ed, PhD(c), LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I work with clients of diverse backgrounds on a multitude of concerns. My approach is, at times, directive, yet always curious, nonjudgmental, collaborative, and validating.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
July 28th, 2018 2:19am
Discuss how you are feeling with you ex boyfriend/girlfriend. Then you can gauge how they are feeling, and make rational decisions that way.
mysteriousLove67
August 2nd, 2018 4:46pm
You should do what you feel is right. Remember the reason you broke up with them and then decide whether it was a good reason or not. Then do what you feel you should do.
Blaise23
August 12th, 2018 6:02pm
If they are still available,please try to talk to them.Try to take it slow.Then when you feel comfortable,try talking about your relationship and how you feel about it,the improvements you would like to make and that you would like to have it like before.😃
Electricityscvpe
August 15th, 2018 6:49am
Think about why you broke with your ex. Relationships ends for something. But if you miss ex talk about that and make work it out.
Gentlerabbit7539
August 19th, 2018 6:41pm
Have a talk with them! Ask them how they feel, and you can discuss if you want to get back together if you want. If not, you can discuss being friends and moving forward. Besties and friends or family can be very helpful as well in deciding what to do. Talk with them and discuss their opinion. Have you thought about why you broke up? Recognizing why it did not work can help you move forward. Also have fun activities and hobbies to enjoy yourself. Give yourself time to think and breathe. Realise what would be best. And of course, follow your heart!
BitterGrapefruit
August 24th, 2018 10:13pm
I'm sorry you feel regretful, it's hard sometimes to let someone go who you've been so close with. I too regret my choices sometimes, and thats normal. Completely normal. Life goes on and you have to remember that you broke up with your ex for a reason and that you shouldn't go back to what made you unhappy. One person shouldn't be able to make you feel uncomfortable and unhappy even when you aren't with them any longer. Everyone deserves the best for themselves and the people around them. And you honestly were being very good with self-care by cutting out a toxic relationship. I'm proud of you
Anonymous
September 8th, 2018 10:05pm
He or she probably broke up with you for a reason you were something causing it or they were or something what’s causing it into relationship ended for a reason. good or bad. You shouldn’t go back to your ex you should move forward with your life. I broke up with my ex after I caught him hitting on my friend and yes for the first couple of weeks so much because I realize that he didn’t miss me but I moved on and that’s what you need to do to don’t regret it or go back to him or her
bouncyBeach42
November 9th, 2018 12:20pm
It is a little difficult to give feedback to this question only because I do not know your history on this relationship. However, the first thing may be to write down or list in your mind the reasons you broke up with your ex. then ask yourself if those reasons are still valid. If they are, then you need to move on. Get active, go out with your friends and count the reasons why you are lucky not to be in a relationship with your ex. On the other hand, if after reviewing the reasons you broke it off with your ex, you find that those reasons are no longer valid for you, you might want to consider the possibilities of getting in touch with your ex. to see whether you may be able to work it out with him. Do not be afraid to make the first move if this is something you want to make happen. He will not know you may want to get back together if you do not let him know. Of course, you have to accept the possibility that he may have moved on already and in that case, you should move on as well.
bubblingPudding31
December 13th, 2018 5:50am
Think about the reasons you decided to break up with that person. Was it in the heat of the moment or was it a long thought out process. Consider whether or not you are only regretting it because you feel lonely or because you miss the familiarity. Also think about whether or not you were happy in the relationship. Is the relationship worth getting back into. Is the other person willing to work things out with you. Think about how to openly discuss why you got to that point and how to move forward from there before you re enter the relationship.
Anonymous
December 23rd, 2018 4:26am
Ask yourself why you regret breaking up with them. If you love them enough to ask for them back then I would say go for it. It's better than being left wondering. If they take you back then great. If not then maybe it's for the best. One thing for sure is that you will need to talk to them about it all and if they don't want to talk then you need to respect that but I think everything happens for a reason so giving it a shot at least takes away the mystery of wondering what could have been. Best of luck to you! -LC
Anonymous
January 4th, 2019 3:45am
If you hurt them badly it will be hard trying to reconnect with them but i totally think you should try and chat with them about your regrets and let them know how your feelings are towards them and im sure if they still feel the same you will progress towards getting back together? Remember though, you have to fix the reason you broke up in order for you to get back together and make it work this time, if you don't get back together i suggest putting yourself out there and meeting new people and try to move on. GOOD LUCK
wonderfullbaboon
January 6th, 2019 6:39am
Move on. Let go. Trying to fill your life with other meaningful things. You can't turn back the time. Accept it. Try to open up your heart to a new person. It's never a good idea to read the same book. Because you know how it ends. Sure it's not easy but the best way to deal with it is accept it and you will gain a peace of mind. I honestly still love him. They best thing I can do is pray for him and hope he has a good life. Unless you two still have the same feelings.
Anonymous
January 18th, 2019 5:23am
Try to remember the reason you broke up in the first place. That's what you should focus on. You broke up because something wasn't right, something wasn't working for you. Why get beck to it? If you felt bad in it why woud you want to get back? Ask yourself, do you miss them or just the feeling? It's probably just temporary and it's gonna go away after some time. Don't rush into it cause you can make even more harm than good out of it. Try seeking for good things of breaking up. Maybe you feel lighter somwhere inside you. You probably don't regret breaking up but losing something you've been working on for so long, losing person you trusted, losing someone close, a friend.
Anonymous
January 31st, 2019 8:01am
Well, this question requires a little bit more context. As a general rule, if someone is your ex, they're your ex for a reason. You may miss the familiarity, the expression, and attributes about them - but if you felt strongly enough to break up with them, the odds are that maybe this is a boundary you need to maintain. If it didn't work then, it's unlikely to work now. But if you feel that strongly, I would open the discussion with your ex about how you feel, and see how they feel about it was well? I can't give further advice than that, i'm afraid.
BecauseofOpenMinds
February 2nd, 2019 11:59pm
When regret is felt over any situation, especially over a breakup, it is sometimes helpful to analyze your feelings before and after it happened. How did you truly feel before the breakup? What decisions led to the breakup and why were those decisions made? And after it happened, are you discounting the positive outcomes of the breakup? What thoughts, habits, or activities can you do in your own life to turn the breakup into a positive milestone for your future? What positive activities can you divert your attention to in order to let time pass productively and heal your wounds?
Heretolovexx
February 7th, 2019 1:13am
Reflect on the background of why you broke up with him/her. Do you think it will be better to be apart, or could things work out again? Reflect on why you chose to end the relationship and what you can do in the future to avoid the situation. How about consider talking to him or her about possibly making things work again? If you are not comfortable with that just realize that there was a reason the relationship had to come to an end and never blame yourself for something that didn’t work out. There are so many people who would love to be with you and don’t take it personally because one person did not work out
ExperimentalYouth2001
February 7th, 2019 1:51am
Breaking up with anyone is a difficult choice to make. So there must have been some underlying issues or concerns that made you make that decision in the first place. So now you must be feeling some doubt about your reasoning from back then. My best advice would be to look back on his you were feeling in that moment and determine whether the reasons you had at the time affect your life the same way now that they did back then. Sometimes in life you can feel lonely and think that you are missing something but really you are just misguided and having some doubts within yourself. Best of luck!
Wittie96
March 17th, 2019 3:43pm
Sit back and think about what is making you feel like you regret breaking up with this person. Do you regret it because you miss them? Do you regret it because you think you’ve done something wrong in the break up? Do you regret it because you want the relationship back? Think of all of the pros and cons of being with this person. Is this a person support you and your dreams? Are they good for your well-being? Did they let you have relationships with your friends and family? Only you can answer these questions in the end. Good luck and I hope this helps a little bit.