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I regret breaking up with my ex. What should I do?

235 Answers
Last Updated: 04/07/2022 at 6:38pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
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Maryna Svitasheva, PhD. RP

Licensed Professional Counselor

Psychotherapy I provide is based on a dialog and your active intention to look for a solution with the therapist's assistance

Top Rated Answers
July 12th, 2018 12:42pm
Don't live in the past. Even though it's ok to remember the good times, there was a reason for the breakup. Remind yourself of the reason. It's normal to regret a breakup because we are greiving and we cannot simply shut off our feelings. In time, those feelings will fade, including the regret. Occupying your time and mind are great ways to deal with this. Plus, it's ok to let yourself be emotional and talk it out with someone you are comfortable with.
July 15th, 2018 2:44pm
Try telling him how you feel. explain that you didn't actually want to break up with him & that you were just having a bad time and you accidentally took it out on him.
July 19th, 2018 8:55pm
That is a difficult one to answer and help with. What you really need to look at is yourself and why you made the decision you did at the time and is it truly wanting to be back with your ex or is it because you do not want to feel alone after the break up?
July 27th, 2018 6:22pm
What you can do would be to try to contact him and see if he answers and if he does you can first see if hes single and if he still feels a type of way for you.
July 28th, 2018 2:19am
Discuss how you are feeling with you ex boyfriend/girlfriend. Then you can gauge how they are feeling, and make rational decisions that way.
August 2nd, 2018 4:46pm
You should do what you feel is right. Remember the reason you broke up with them and then decide whether it was a good reason or not. Then do what you feel you should do.
August 12th, 2018 6:02pm
If they are still available,please try to talk to them.Try to take it slow.Then when you feel comfortable,try talking about your relationship and how you feel about it,the improvements you would like to make and that you would like to have it like before.😃
August 15th, 2018 6:49am
Think about why you broke with your ex. Relationships ends for something. But if you miss ex talk about that and make work it out.
August 19th, 2018 6:41pm
Have a talk with them! Ask them how they feel, and you can discuss if you want to get back together if you want. If not, you can discuss being friends and moving forward. Besties and friends or family can be very helpful as well in deciding what to do. Talk with them and discuss their opinion. Have you thought about why you broke up? Recognizing why it did not work can help you move forward. Also have fun activities and hobbies to enjoy yourself. Give yourself time to think and breathe. Realise what would be best. And of course, follow your heart!
September 8th, 2018 10:05pm
He or she probably broke up with you for a reason you were something causing it or they were or something what’s causing it into relationship ended for a reason. good or bad. You shouldn’t go back to your ex you should move forward with your life. I broke up with my ex after I caught him hitting on my friend and yes for the first couple of weeks so much because I realize that he didn’t miss me but I moved on and that’s what you need to do to don’t regret it or go back to him or her
November 9th, 2018 12:20pm
It is a little difficult to give feedback to this question only because I do not know your history on this relationship. However, the first thing may be to write down or list in your mind the reasons you broke up with your ex. then ask yourself if those reasons are still valid. If they are, then you need to move on. Get active, go out with your friends and count the reasons why you are lucky not to be in a relationship with your ex. On the other hand, if after reviewing the reasons you broke it off with your ex, you find that those reasons are no longer valid for you, you might want to consider the possibilities of getting in touch with your ex. to see whether you may be able to work it out with him. Do not be afraid to make the first move if this is something you want to make happen. He will not know you may want to get back together if you do not let him know. Of course, you have to accept the possibility that he may have moved on already and in that case, you should move on as well.
December 13th, 2018 5:50am
Think about the reasons you decided to break up with that person. Was it in the heat of the moment or was it a long thought out process. Consider whether or not you are only regretting it because you feel lonely or because you miss the familiarity. Also think about whether or not you were happy in the relationship. Is the relationship worth getting back into. Is the other person willing to work things out with you. Think about how to openly discuss why you got to that point and how to move forward from there before you re enter the relationship.
December 23rd, 2018 4:26am
Ask yourself why you regret breaking up with them. If you love them enough to ask for them back then I would say go for it. It's better than being left wondering. If they take you back then great. If not then maybe it's for the best. One thing for sure is that you will need to talk to them about it all and if they don't want to talk then you need to respect that but I think everything happens for a reason so giving it a shot at least takes away the mystery of wondering what could have been. Best of luck to you! -LC
January 4th, 2019 3:45am
If you hurt them badly it will be hard trying to reconnect with them but i totally think you should try and chat with them about your regrets and let them know how your feelings are towards them and im sure if they still feel the same you will progress towards getting back together? Remember though, you have to fix the reason you broke up in order for you to get back together and make it work this time, if you don't get back together i suggest putting yourself out there and meeting new people and try to move on. GOOD LUCK
January 6th, 2019 6:39am
Move on. Let go. Trying to fill your life with other meaningful things. You can't turn back the time. Accept it. Try to open up your heart to a new person. It's never a good idea to read the same book. Because you know how it ends. Sure it's not easy but the best way to deal with it is accept it and you will gain a peace of mind. I honestly still love him. They best thing I can do is pray for him and hope he has a good life. Unless you two still have the same feelings.
January 18th, 2019 5:23am
Try to remember the reason you broke up in the first place. That's what you should focus on. You broke up because something wasn't right, something wasn't working for you. Why get beck to it? If you felt bad in it why woud you want to get back? Ask yourself, do you miss them or just the feeling? It's probably just temporary and it's gonna go away after some time. Don't rush into it cause you can make even more harm than good out of it. Try seeking for good things of breaking up. Maybe you feel lighter somwhere inside you. You probably don't regret breaking up but losing something you've been working on for so long, losing person you trusted, losing someone close, a friend.
January 31st, 2019 8:01am
Well, this question requires a little bit more context. As a general rule, if someone is your ex, they're your ex for a reason. You may miss the familiarity, the expression, and attributes about them - but if you felt strongly enough to break up with them, the odds are that maybe this is a boundary you need to maintain. If it didn't work then, it's unlikely to work now. But if you feel that strongly, I would open the discussion with your ex about how you feel, and see how they feel about it was well? I can't give further advice than that, i'm afraid.
February 7th, 2019 1:13am
Reflect on the background of why you broke up with him/her. Do you think it will be better to be apart, or could things work out again? Reflect on why you chose to end the relationship and what you can do in the future to avoid the situation. How about consider talking to him or her about possibly making things work again? If you are not comfortable with that just realize that there was a reason the relationship had to come to an end and never blame yourself for something that didn’t work out. There are so many people who would love to be with you and don’t take it personally because one person did not work out
February 7th, 2019 1:51am
Breaking up with anyone is a difficult choice to make. So there must have been some underlying issues or concerns that made you make that decision in the first place. So now you must be feeling some doubt about your reasoning from back then. My best advice would be to look back on his you were feeling in that moment and determine whether the reasons you had at the time affect your life the same way now that they did back then. Sometimes in life you can feel lonely and think that you are missing something but really you are just misguided and having some doubts within yourself. Best of luck!
March 17th, 2019 3:43pm
Sit back and think about what is making you feel like you regret breaking up with this person. Do you regret it because you miss them? Do you regret it because you think you’ve done something wrong in the break up? Do you regret it because you want the relationship back? Think of all of the pros and cons of being with this person. Is this a person support you and your dreams? Are they good for your well-being? Did they let you have relationships with your friends and family? Only you can answer these questions in the end. Good luck and I hope this helps a little bit.
June 27th, 2019 3:37am
An intimate relationship between two people can never be judged by another. Both of you know best what to do. Maybe you could talk to them about it. It would at least relieve you of bottling up your feelings and hurting yourself in the process. Or before that give it some thought, why did you break up with them? Does the reason still stand valid? Would it be best to reach out to them and talk things through? What are the consequences? What is the best and worst case scenario? Thinking about all that will really help you open up to yourself so you can make the best decision. Remember to take care of yourself. You are just as precious as anyone else. So don't hurt yourself in the process. I wish you all the best.
July 4th, 2019 10:06pm
As with most things in relationships, the answer comes down to communication. Direct, honest, communication. Before you reach out, however, think through what led to your regrets- is it a general sadness over having broken up, or a desire for this specific person despite the faults that led to the breakup? If you've recognized that the breakup was hasty or that the problems could have been resolved and you have the desire to work on them, it's time to reach out to your ex. Explain what you're feeling and thinking, candidly. Your ex is probably hurting too, so be empathetic and listen to what they have to say in response. Talk through what led to the breakup and your plan for how it could be resolved together, and then accept your ex's answer, yes or no, with grace.
July 10th, 2019 11:50pm
Regretting the breakup. I feel like we have all experienced it in one way or another. But in my experience, it is a phase of a breakup where I doubt my decision, where i miss the person so much and where I’m so incredibly tempted to try to just get back to them. But I always try to objectively look at all of it as well. I first acknowledge that it’s a natural stage of grieving process, if you will. And I always try and remember why we broke up in the first place. Something led to that breakup that’s an indication of that relationship not working all that perfectly, therefore valid reason for a breakup exist.
July 17th, 2019 3:49pm
Move on and find yourself. When you made a conscious decision to break up with someone, you are also making a conscious effort to let the other person know that whatever you may have been feeling for them is no longer present. If such a regret pops up, that could possibly mean two things. If the relationship was healthy, and it was going well, it shows that you were hasty with your decisions, and you now have a chance to work on being more patient and understanding with what you really want. Maybe talking about what you feel is wrong with the relationship with your partner will actually help strengthen it more. If the relationship was unhealthy, then it means you need treatment to help you with the trauma of feeling empty without them because they have made themselves a prime figure in your life by eliminating everything else that was probably important to you. This may not be the case for everyone, and everyone's case is different, but the one thing is that without regrets, we can't be our better selves. So move on and find yourself because the only person you can truly love is yourself.
August 28th, 2019 1:18pm
It depends on the circumstances - if the breakup wasn't too acrimonious and you feel like contacting them wouldn't have a terrible effect on the progress they've made without you, then try reaching out. If they want nothing to do with you, try to apologize for what you've done and learn to live with your decision, but be ready for the potential "I never want to hear from you again". Another thing is, ask yourself if you really regret breaking up, or of they've simply picked their life up and done more with themselves than you have since the breakup - trying to reestablish contact with someone who's made great strides to move on while you've made little to no progress is unproductive and unfair to both parties.
August 31st, 2019 1:53pm
You need to take time and have a little chat with yourself. Think back of the reason you broke up with him in the first place. Was he good to you? Was he bad? Make a list of the things he did and see how many of them were right or wrong. If you think that the reason why you broke up with him wasn't a big of a deal and that you wrong, then you could, maybe, call him and try to make things right between the two of you. Explain to him how you feel and why, the two of you, should give another chance to your relationship. Sometimes we make mistakes, but you shouldn't worry yourself over them, because we are human and we make mistakes in order to learn from them.
November 9th, 2019 2:23am
I have felt this way before but I had to remind myself I broke up with them for a reason. You may miss them but take a step back and ask yourself was he good for me? If not, then you made the right decision. Normally as people we miss it once its gone kind of like nostalgia but we only seem to focus on the happy times. If there was a valid reason to breakup with him, keep that in mind when making your decision to talk to him again. I know missing someone can be hard but put yourself first.
December 1st, 2019 6:21am
Why did you break up with your ex in the first place? And regrets always come at last to see what you lose. But if you regret it and want him/her to come back at you, then maybe talk to him/her and say that you made a wrong decision on breaking up with him/her. Talk it out with your ex and see if there's still a chance for you to get back together if you want to get back with your ex. You two have to come up with a mutual decision an if your ex doesn't want to get back with you then maybe you have to accept it.
December 5th, 2019 7:08pm
This is normal. Don’t beat yourself over it. Try to remember the reasons and the feelings that brought you to that decision. Would you still have broken up with them if you had been in a different mindset? There are very legitimate reasons to break up: if you know you’re not headed the same way, if you don’t feel safe, or secured, or loved with them... then again, maybe you just need some time for yourselves. After this time, do you still crave that person? Or is it rather that you don’t want to be alone anymore ? There is no definite answer, you just need to take the time to ponder your decision.
February 21st, 2020 4:55am
You should accept that breakups are hard and some sadness or regret is pretty inevitable. When you look back at the relationship with your ex, you're probably thinking about how much you loved them, or loved spending time with them. You may think of how much you'll miss not having the opportunities to do all the things you enjoyed doing together. And that's totally okay and understandable! But you also might want to try your best to recognize that you had reasons for breaking up. Reasons that you thought were significant enough that all the good fun times weren't worth the downside. It's easy to forget all the times they didn't respond, or treated you poorly, ignored you, ignored your feelings, cheated on you, etc. but all those things still happened. Try to look at why you regret it ... but also keep in mind why you broke up, and whether you think those reasons remain valid. I hope that helps a little.