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I'm dating someone who has cheated in the past. What should I do?

306 Answers
Last Updated: 05/15/2022 at 5:43pm
I'm dating someone who has cheated in the past. What should I do?
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The journey to where we are today included many ups, downs, twists and turns. Healing from the events of life is crucial in achieving mental health and happiness.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
April 22nd, 2018 10:16am
One thing one has to understand that, there isn't anybody out there who hasn't made any mistakes. The beauty lies in forgetting and giving the person the space to learn from the mistake.
HugsNPugs3
April 28th, 2018 10:08am
Firstly you shouldn't get too attached not too just people who cheated in the past but anyone you date in the start. Secondly if he has learned from his mistakes and you're sure he did there's not much to be worried if he learned from his mistakes and moved on. By time pay attention to the things he says and test his loyalty.
CatosaurousRex
May 14th, 2018 10:00pm
I am currently in a relationship in which I have been cheated on. I suggest making it apparent on what you are insecure with and affirming your partner that you will not stand with treatment that is any less than what you expect. It is important to keep your standards high, and if cheating is something you are not fond of, let them know. Obvious trust and communication issues will arise, and I advice that you address them. Remember, depending on the severity of the situation you are in, if you are not satisfied with how you are treated, know that you never have to stay. If your partner is willing to put in the time, patience and effort to correct and fix any cracks in your relationship alongside you, it is worth your time. If they are not willing to be a positive person in your life, a toxic relationship is not worth it. Stay strong, and if you need any further advice, let me know. :)
meiixae
May 20th, 2018 12:22am
Be careful. They may have learned from it, but they could also still be a cheater. If it makes you too uncomfortable, then you have every right to leave them. Otherwise, it may be worthwhile to talk to them about it.
Anonymous
May 23rd, 2018 8:04am
If you trust them then there shouldnt be a problem. Trust in relationships is extremely important so if theres no trust, there needs to be a conversation where you talk about the issue.
thethingwithfeathers98
May 26th, 2018 9:24am
If your partner shows a genuine willingness to put effort in and establish trust in the relationship again, give them a chance. However, if they try and put the blame on you for not 'recovering' from their mistake quickly enough, do not give you time to process your emotions, and generally try and pile guilt on you, it is time to leave.
DamnItOmi94
May 30th, 2018 12:59pm
People usually cheat when they are not feeling loved in their relationship. Make sure that your partner doesn't feel the same way. You can show them how much you care for them in many ways.
YaYasEars
May 31st, 2018 2:17am
Talk to them about how you fee. See if you guys can work through things or not. A big key to healthy relationships is communication
Blaise23
June 7th, 2018 5:17pm
Unless you feel safe and trust them, it is fine to continue.If they have shown any signs that lead to doubt ,please discuss or ask them right away and then you can decide if you want to continue or not.
Anonymous
June 9th, 2018 12:06am
Be wary, but not suspicious. Don't make super left-field assumptions based on their history. In fact, address your potential concerns with your partner, as communication is key in a relationship. If you're worried about their devotion, then they should know about that so they can better manage how they act so you'll trust them. Communication is key.
Anonymous
June 10th, 2018 1:27am
It is important to make sure he/she wont cheat on you, u can ask why he/she cheated before if he/she is comfortable with that.
Anonymous
June 17th, 2018 10:02am
I think it all depends upon trust. If you think your partner made a mistake, would be apologetic and not go into infidelity again, you can lower your walls and let them in, even if you do that a bit cautiously.
Anonymous
June 24th, 2018 10:29am
If they cheated in the past, well, it's most likely they will do it again. They must've been all lovey-dovey with their previous partners but still craved for more. No exception on you. Just be careful around them.
Allears247
June 24th, 2018 12:30pm
If they have cheated with you than you should do what your gut it telling you. If they have cheated in the past with someone else I would remain cautious, but wouldn't hold it against the person. People do change, maybe they're not a cheater anymore.
Anonymous
June 27th, 2018 7:13pm
You should give him chance and alot of time and love so that he don't have time to think about cheating but would think to love you more
delicateZebra
June 30th, 2018 9:51am
Trust them until they prove you wrong. Everyone makes mistakes but also everyone deserves a chance, You never know unless you try, this person may be your one and they may never stray from you, Have you spoken to them about why they cheated on the last person?
Anonymous
July 4th, 2018 1:08am
Be cautious and make sure they are in the relationship for you and respect you. It will take time to build up that trust again but it will be for the best.
Ramiz
July 11th, 2018 2:38pm
Establishing trust is one of the hardest things in a relationship. And if your partner has already had misgivings about trusting people then it just becomes doubly difficult. So to ease the pressure of trust on your partner you should start by letting them inside your shell. You open up to them, because its a two way game. First you give trust then the other person gives you their. Do activities that show commitment, make long term plans etc.
Anonymous
July 12th, 2018 1:38pm
I say give them a chance! Maybe that person has learned from their mistakes? But if you ever feel uncomfortable, be clear on ending it!
MarysGrotto51
July 15th, 2018 6:43am
Keep communication linesv open between you. Take one step at a time. Breathe. Build your trust together .
Anonymous
July 18th, 2018 12:51pm
That's not a big problem. You can have a relationship with him/her. One thibg you can do is making sure he/she won't make the same mistake.
resourcefulFreedom38
July 26th, 2018 2:57am
Relationships are about trust. You knew the background before entering into the relationship. The choice was made to trust. Continue trusting and try not to allow the past to dictate the present.
Anonymous
July 26th, 2018 6:12pm
Well everybody deserves a second chance in life, and people can change, but even if this person has cheated in the past, It doesn't mean that you shouldn't care at all about it, just beware. If you suspect that this person is cheating on you, you should fetch factual evidences before you confront. Never confront without a consistent evidence.
Anonymous
July 29th, 2018 1:01am
Its hard but first try to trust it amd feel comfortable talking about your feeling and its feelings
Harry53
August 1st, 2018 5:10am
If he or she has cheated in the past you should not discount the possibility that he or she may do that again. You must then decide if staying in the relationship is worth the risk and the potential hurt that may result.
Anonymous
August 1st, 2018 3:59pm
You should just trust your intuition and go with the flow. You should give that person a chance to get to know him better
Anonymous
August 2nd, 2018 4:13am
In this case, I think it is best not to jump in right away into a romantic relationship with the person you are dating. Try to get to know the person better and see if he is willing to be truly loyal to you through his actions. Just give the person a benefit of doubt. There should always be trust in a romantic relationship and you should not have to worry about the person cheating on you. Also remember that actions speak louder than words. I am just saying all of this so you can avoid yourself from a heart break in the long run.
Anonymous
August 12th, 2018 8:29am
Wow I would say try and trust them the most but maybe try and do a phone check twice a month I hope everything goes well for you
Anonymous
August 12th, 2018 12:19pm
I mean if they’ve been open about this and you said you were okay with it, then you have to kind of try and trust them but if your being weary this is natural because your scared of getting hurt but you have to ask yourself if your willing to take the chance of trusting them and if not you have to let go because it’s not fair on you or them
Gat89
September 6th, 2018 6:24pm
Cheating is rarely noble, but there are tons of reasons why it happens. Are there ever fair reasons to cheat? Never. But often, cheating is an act symptomatic of a bad relationship and poor communication. Cheating is an ignoble way to end things proactively or subconsciously, If possible, try and understand what exactly happened. Find out why it happened and whether it is part of a bigger, consistent character trait in your current partner. You need all this info to help you understand them better and gauge the progress in your relationship. Any red flags, have a chat and see if you both value the same things.