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My boyfriend told me he hooked up with someone else when we were on a break.

103 Answers
Last Updated: 07/15/2020 at 8:23am
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I believe that depression can feel all-consuming. I have a real passion for helping my clients to reclaim their voices and lives from depressive thoughts.

Top Rated Answers
July 9th, 2016 7:24pm
Wow that is tough. Sometimes honesty or coming clean helps the offender to feel better but causes a lot of insecurity for the other person. Tell me more about what you are feeling.
November 16th, 2017 1:58am
I once had a boyfriend hook up with someone when we were on a break too. It is hard to hear when someone you care about does something that was unexpected. Your boyfriend told you what happened during this break, do think that means more than if you found out he hid that information from you?
June 24th, 2016 3:33pm
Then he's isn't meant for you dear. The person who's so desperate to do something like that isn't worth bothering about. I respect your feelings for him, but do think about this once.
June 15th, 2016 11:24pm
It is really good that he was honest with you even though he didn't do anything good. Talk with him and clear things up. I'm not picking sides, but please remember we are human and we make mistakes
June 15th, 2016 8:18am
If he had guts to tell you that he hooked up someone else when you were away you should be strong enough to give up on him because you need to be with someone who loves you more even in your absence. So go girl,search for the right guy. Cheers! :)
September 23rd, 2016 9:03pm
That's a tough one. Officially, if both parties were on a break, it indicates a temporary lack of commitment. However, relationships are sticky and just because both of you were on a break does not mean that your emotions were on a break as well. In other words, I can only imagine how hurt and conflicted you must have felt upon discovering that he hooked up with someone else during this time period. Personally, I would have a lot of reservations of returning to the relationship because I would think that he doesn't miss me that much if he could hook up with some other girl like that. Even though I understand that rebounds can happen, I would still think the action to be immature and badly timed. Nevertheless, a lot of relationship decisions are based on feelings. So if you still feel like it's worth it to pursue this relationship, you should do it. Basically, do what feels right to you.
June 29th, 2016 1:34am
I know how you feel. My gf did the same. You deserve someone who respects you in or out of relationship.
June 15th, 2016 4:19am
There is a very thin line to this situation, technically u guys were on a break. Most importantly when u guys were on a break were u guys sure that u guys will get back together, that the break was just a time being thing. If yes then why would he hook up with someone.
January 15th, 2017 7:11am
At the end of the day, you were on a break so you cannot hold him to anything, however, the fact that he did has every right to affect how you now feel about him. If you felt that you could not hook up with someone else on the break suggests that you two may think about the relationship differently. Address it with him if need be so you can find out why he did.
October 26th, 2017 10:58pm
In my personal experience once being unfaithful happens on either side of the relationship, things are never the same no matter how hard you try to forgive. Trust is something that once broken, its incredibly hard to get back. It took me a while to learn to respect myself and what I deserve and leave people on the past that have broken my trust. My trust was broken time after time, and eventually enough it's enough. When it happens once it usually happens again, save yourself the hurt and respect yourself and know you deserve someone who wouldn't do something like that in the first place. And later down the road when you find that person, you'll be grateful you waited for them to treat you how you deserve to be treated!
June 15th, 2016 1:07pm least he is honest with you. If he loved her more than you he wouldn't talked to you about this.
June 30th, 2016 1:20pm
Although people do make mistake, cheating is not okay under any circumstances. Leaving someone is a hard thing to do, but it would be better for yourself in the long run. never settle for less.
June 16th, 2016 8:58am
Well, is he guilty? but still you should think is he the one for you? is he deserves you? because if he was sincere with you.. he wouldn't have done this.. and if he did that when you guys were on break.. then he could do again that thing behind your back.. think about yourself. #goodluck.
June 29th, 2016 6:13am
I can see both sides. He thought that you were in a break and were probably over. I can also see that you still wanted to be together and felt replaced. I understand. I would talk to him about it! There's no harm in trying!
July 17th, 2016 2:31pm
Of you were on a break, then that's completely okay. It may hurt... a lot... to think about. But you have to remember that you were on a break and therefore not dating at that point.
April 3rd, 2018 4:24pm
Do not stay with him. He is at fault. Never go back to a cheater because they will cheat again. You deserve better and are a beautiful person who deserves a caring and loyal person.
May 23rd, 2018 5:01am
When you are on a break you are free. Of course, normally it is expected to take some time alone to realize about your real feelings. Meeting other people or having other sexual partners during a brake is not always the best or healthiest way to solve problems during a brake. But you can’t blame him for that. Just take this as a fact, extra information about him which may help you taking the proper decision wether he is or he is not the person you want to share projects with.
July 29th, 2016 2:14am
If it does bother you, then talk to him about it, if doesn't then just let it go. Sometimes when we were on a break, we tend to try and spend some times with otgers company, fr there we are able to learn things and able to missed the things we used to have. It can be thats the reason why he hooked up.
June 16th, 2016 11:42am
As objectively as you can, decide where you want to "draw your line in the sand" for any romantic relationship. Then, ask yourself if he has "crossed the line."
July 22nd, 2016 2:21pm
The classic Friends' line comes up: "WE WERE ON A BREAK!!" - I can understand how difficult that is, have some time to think and reflect on things and then once the dust has settled, communicate with your boyfriend and think of a way forward together!
July 28th, 2016 12:47am
You should ask him if he still talks to her and if you have any suspicion that it was more than just a one night stand you should confront him
September 17th, 2016 11:24pm
You deserve so much better. It's difficult to hear, but if someone was stupid enough to walk away from you, you have to be smart enough to let them go. Even if you love and care deeply for this person, you deserve and should want to be with someone who will be loyal to you, and who will appreciate you. Never settle for what you don't deserve.
July 26th, 2017 5:04pm
Speak to your boyfriend and ask him what caused him to do that. Maybe he has a strong friendship with that person and they have a connection. Ask your boyfriend if she holds any importance to him and reassure him that you would never do that.
June 15th, 2016 4:26pm
Wow that is tough. Sometimes honesty or coming clean helps the offender to feel better but causes a lot of insecurity for the other person. Tell me more about what you are feeling.
June 30th, 2016 4:14pm
That must be hard. Does he feel bad about it? Does he regret his decision? It's all up to you weither you want to continue the relationship or not.
July 2nd, 2016 6:38pm
Ask him why he did that.Continue to a discussion for this matter and either forgive him or end the relationship
July 15th, 2016 7:21am
have a civilized, adult like discussion, and don't hold back. If it upsets you, let him know without blaming him right away.
July 17th, 2016 6:12pm
Ask your boyfriend politely what he would like to do and what he would like to say. Engage in a conversation calming then after he talks, you make your decision.
July 30th, 2016 2:34pm
It is not loyal of your boyfriend to do this, yet at least he is being honest to you and telling you the truth. When on a break, it can be hard to resist others.
August 11th, 2016 12:42am
You have every right to feel the way you do. Assess how you feel and how you want to act upon that. I wouldn't do anything rash and sudden but take time to think things through. Talk with them about it. Why they did it, if it meant anything to them or not, why it did or did not mean anything to them, what his definition of a break was and if he felt he went beyond a boundary of a break, what he wants, what you want, if you still want to be together and why. Assess the relationship and how you feel about it all, both of you.