Why are we fighting over small and stupid things?

As per me, people create drama by fighting with others. Reason behind it to get attention and fill my with some excitement. Ultimately our every behaviour is to fulfill our human needs. We need to stay away from judging people for it. In stead, compassion and understanding can help in preventing small issue in big fight. I generally noted this in my behaviour lately and stopped creating drama for small things. This has ultimately helped me to have more mental peace and I saved lots of time. I am using saved time to work towards my business, spend time with my family and I am also learning new hobbies. Are you drama maker.? Let me know your thoughts.

I guess fighting over small and stupid things is more convenient than facing a big issue. Small and stupid things are easy to detect, thus easy to pay attention to. We might also feel that if we don't sort out the small things, it will snowball into something big. Before that happens, we want things to be back as they were before. Also, doesn't fighting about something means you care enough to sort it out and be happy rather than letting it be and being unhappy? I would say fighting over any issue is alright as long as it's discussed properly and a common ground can be found.

I think that it’s a concept .. the little Small and trivial things to us maybe huge to someone else so they get hurt over it and unleash anger bottled from previous insecurities that tends to turn into a fight . The lack of communication with a certain someone can let this behavior evolve , if we had more understanding we could overcome this . However, not everyone’s personality will allow a smooth conversation to happen without a fight arising in the midst of it. I think we all want different things , we just need to find a common ground and learn how to love each other.

That happens when both parties have some piled up emotions in them that come out bitterly here and there. And both parties get worked up over those small things because both parties haven’t fully communicated what is going on with themselves and what has been making them feel stressed on daily basis. It’s important to check in with yourself what’s wrong and be able to talk about it with the partner if it continues to be a bother. It could be stress from work, family, friends, or any outside source, and it can be talked out loud. Everyone needs to vent sometimes. Or if the stress is from the partner, it is important to plan out how to carefully voice the feelings that have been bothersome.

I guess because we think we don't have the strength to fight big and critical things. But we do. I spend a good amount of my life fighting myself, then once I discovered boxing, I fought shadows at first, I was fighting the other in front of me. Then, terrorist attacks, and I fought everyone over everything. I was exhausted, broken, but still willing to fight. I just didn't know what. My sister showed me. She had a lot of difficulties in her life. She struggled with school a lot. She has been treated of crazy by other kids at school. I was ashamed of her deep down, and I felt like shit just thinking about it. Then, I wasn't here anymore, she changed school and she got bullied. I could have gone there and beat the shit of the bullies, but I found excuses all the time, and my father always tried to stop me doing things. I think he was wrong in this case. I listened to him maybe a little too much in my life, I just realized that recently. And my sister, that everyone mocked, that even us at home most of the time didn't believe, because she is able to remember everything somehow, this girl became an incredible boxer. Without hate, she shows dedication, she never gives up. She proved me so much. She doesn't know how much she helped me. I wish I could express my emotions to people around me.

Because most of the time we are thinking from our ego rather than our heart or rationale. It’s easy to get caught up in feelings that revolve mostly around our lives rather than that of other which in consequence causes us to misunderstand : misinterpret what another may be trying to express. This is hard to overcome because like I say, our ego is so involved in our thought processes and it’s not easily quietened. If we could find it in our hearts to truly think deeply before approaching : breaching a subject with another. We would possibly find ourselves better understanding their position and overall become less confrontational over matters that simply do not matter.

Sometimes we sweat the small things because we have other issues that are more pressing but a little overwhelming. Putting one foot ahead of the other, at a slow and steady pace is a great start to moving forward with whatever may be in your way. It is very easy to see only the negative side to a troublesome situation so try and see if there are any positives. Perseverance is key and not giving up when things become too challenging or difficult. Try and move forward at your own pace and you will get to where you want to go.

I feel like sometimes when we fight over petty things, it has because emotions have been building in us for a while and it just gets let out. Much like a straw that broke the camels back sort of situation. From my own personal experience, I find myself snapping at people when I am emotionally exhausted or stressed. Things that used to somewhat annoy but that I would ultimately shrug off become The. Worst. Thing. Ever. I think sometimes we spend so much energy on keeping other parts of ourselves going, that we just don't have enough time and energy to reign in our tempers. This is almost never more evident when we are in pain, emotional or physical that we are unused to, or when we are hangry :)

From experience, couples fighting over very small and stupid things is normal. Couples fight all the time. However, if it becomes a very constant thing, then there is definitely something bigger going on that you and/or your partner haven't discussed. For relationships to really work, there needs to be 100% openness and honesty. As to the WHY aspect, it could be because you're suppressing more important feelings, the small things kind of push your feelings over the edge. One of the worst things to do in a relationship is not being honest with your partner about your end goals, or whatever it may be. I hope this helped clear things little bit. I'm here to listen if you need it! Good luck

Relationships are no walk in the park. But that’s what makes them exciting. It’s like taking a road trip, what makes the road trip fun is the adventure you experience. It would be so boring if it was just one long straight and narrow road. The road trip is more exciting when you go make different turns, go over those bumps or those hills that make your tummy turn. It’s the same with a relationship, it’s a roller coaster ride of different emotions and feelings. Often we take out our frustrations on the ones we love the most and in a relationship it happens to be your partner. Trying to identify what makes you fight over these small things could help your relationship grow and thrive for the better.

Fighting over every single thing and over the smallest and stupid thing is common and we almost see fights everyday. We always think about our desires. People are like this. Some people are greedy and and don't want others to be happy. They must understand others feelings. Sometime we will never understand others only if we were in their place and felt what they feel. People fight over everything, they have to be initiator and give what the other side wants. If we were all like this and think about others, the world will be the the best place and we will live peacefully.

Fights over small and unimportant things usually happens when there is a lot of pent up anger or emotion that has built up over time. It happens when we bottle up our discontentment with ourselves, our situations, our careers and with one another; saying nothing and letting those feelings grow more volatile in our minds all the time. Then after awhile, the emotions start seeping out. Everything becomes a tinderbox to blow up and argue about. If it is happening, it's time to look at what is REALLY bothering you deep down. Because that's the source of all these little explosions. Is it that the house is cluttered all the time? Or is it really about being the one who cleans up the clutter when other people contribute 0% effort to help you out - while they are guilty of making the mess? Is it even about the mess? Or that you feel like you are the only one giving effort in the relationship and caring for everyone, while getting ignored and getting nothing back? Chances are the other people in this situation are also blowing up over little things because they have pent up emotions too. Guilt over not being tidy, or guilt over not meeting your expectations. Maybe they are angry over your reactions, because they don't understand or accept the idea of personal accountability. They just want to distract and intimidate you with emotional outbursts over little things. The fights could have nothing to do with your relationship and be pent up frustration with your careers/work environment. And while you cannot get things off your chest at work, all the frustration comes out at people who care about you. They are safe to complain to and bicker with, because there's no chance they'll fire you or make you face financial consequences for your outbursts. Stress of course, is the fuel to the fights. It takes some time to figure out where the source of that stress is coming from and deal with it head on to stop the cycle of pent up anger from taking over.

1. Remember not to sweat the small stuff. Instead of making every little molehill a mountain, agree to not make something a battle unless it’s truly important. Realize that not every disagreement needs to be an argument. Of course, this doesn’t mean you bow to someone else’s demands when it’s something you feel strongly about, but take the time to question the level of importance of the matter at hand. 2. Practice acceptance. If you find yourself in the midst of a conflict, try to remember that the other person is coming into the situation with a totally different background and set of experiences than yourself. You have not been in this person’s shoes, and while it may help to try to put yourself in them, your partner is the only person who can really explain where he or she is coming from. 3. Exercise patience. Granted, it’s hard to remember this in the heat of the moment. But stopping to take a few deep breaths, and deciding to take a break and revisit the discussion when tensions are not as high, can sometimes be the best way to deal with the immediate situation. 😚💙💙💙

Usually, the small and stupid things are just a representation of the not-so-small and very important things. Often times, people tend to suppress their feelings and emotions, thereby not giving it an out. But oh no, the psyche does not like that, not even a little bit. It will ALWAYS find a way to get that pent up emotions and frustrations out. And most of the time, its main weapon is anger. This is then channeled into the most insignificant fights and people don't even realize that the cause is just so much deeper than that. If this is occurring often, it's time to sit down and talk. Not about the small, stupid things, but what underlies it. It's time to get honest with yourself and your thoughts.

There are many common triggers for anger, such as losing your patience, feeling as if your opinion or efforts aren't appreciated, and injustice. Other causes of anger include memories of traumatic or enraging events and worrying about personal problems. You also have unique anger triggers, based on what you were taught to expect from yourself, others, and the world around you. Your personal history feeds your reactions to anger, too. For example, if you weren't taught how to express anger appropriately, your frustrations might simmer and make you miserable, or build up until you explode in an angry outburst.

The reason why we are fighting over small and stupid things is most often that those things represent bigger and more significant things. Also, things that at first seem small trigger in us reactions that are recalled from past experiences. For example, if my partner fights with me because I have eaten something that was supposed to be for them in the fridge, it might sound like a silly quarrel but it can also be a metaphor of the relationship. One partner might feel that the other is not good enough at providing or caring. That's why we fight over things that seem in the moment small and stupid.

The relationship may be toxic, and so fights often break out. He might blame you for everything or it's the other way. Either way, toxicity has a lot of fighting, but you don't want to leave cause you think you/re in love. But in all reality, you aren't, and I know that sucks but sometimes that's the truth. Give it time and maybe they'll change, but don't ever go back if they don't. Fighting a lot is caused also by insecurity about things and that can also be toxic. Find a way to trust each other, and make it known you do too.

Fighting over small or stupid things is a common issue nowadays. It is usually caused due to people's inabilities to get away with a problem in their life, creating feelings that are constantly making the person being annoyed or distracted by those little things. In some other cases maybe the person just feels that life is unfair...when everyone knows that life usually is not fair...and that person wants everything to be equal and in harmony. There are many reasons this issue happens and it is not only about health problems...it is maybe due to a person's character or way of living...

That happens mostly when there are more important issues which people don't want to address and hence there's fighting over small issues cause while you are trying to avoid the bigger issues you are missing the point that you are not happy about something and it comes out in one way or the other. This can happen in any relationship not just couples and the best way to deal with it is to talk to the other person and listen to what they have to say. Also take care that it's not about proving anything but rather about understanding so good luck.

Its common to argue and personally I think it can be a good thing. You and your partner are there to take stress away from one another and sometimes when things get a little bit too much outside of our relationships we argue with our partners. If you're arguing about silly things like what to have for dinner or what film to watch you honestly have nothing to worry about. Even if you're arguing over bigger things thats fine. Take some time out with your partner and go somewhere quiet where you can both relax and have a good day together away from the stresses of other influences. However, if these arguments are emotionally draining you and making you constantly unhappy then you need to talk to your partner - compromise.

There's very likely something under the surface that you're both ignoring, and the bitterness and resentment from that issue is spilling into daily small and stupid things. Sit down and figure out what the root issue is. One wise professor once said "It's not about the bread". He then tells a story of how his wife would always get mad when he didn't close the bread bag. She would get so mad and he wouldn't understand, and lash out in return. Eventually they sat down and talked. Turned out it wasn't about the bread. It was.. I believe it was that she was upset he wasn't being attentive and thoughtful with what he did around the house. Point is: there's almost always an underlying issue. Figure out what it is.

Sometimes fights over insignificant matters can occur when there are other, underlying issues within an individual and the relationships they are a part of. How often do you socialize with people outside of your partner(s)? Do you participate in school, work, hobbies, community events, etc.? Consider how much time you spend with your partner. Consider how you have addressed these issues in the past and what the outcomes were like. It is common for people to disagree and question each other, and can be healthy. But if these disagreements are becoming heated arguments, it can feel frustrating, tiring, saddening, and more.

Thank you for reaching out! To answer your own question you may want to explore what you consider, categorize as smart and stupid things to argue over and why? Usually fights happen because the pair of you have a communication style which is too contrasting (e.g. too much bluntness or not being honest enough), therefore leading to you both not feeling heard. Small and stupid things feel like huge mountains you’re unable to overcome when the communication is lacking. Please do reflect on the times you have communicated well. What made the times you communicated well effective specifically? Contrast the times you communicated well against the times you did not. What was lacking when you both did not communicate well? Further questions you may want to ask yourself is how you feel sitting down and talking to each other about what offended/upset you ? The question is are you both assertive, diplomatic and compassionate when there are misunderstandings and disagreements? 500 small things will always feel larger and less likely to be resolved than 1 large problem. You both may have disagreements in thoughts and opinions and feel challenged or insecure when opposing opinions are shared. Ask yourself why? How has this comment or behavior of theirs triggered me? The small problems will become small again because you accept and understand that the other person has heard and understood you if communication is not judgemental. You are welcome to communicate with any listeners on our site to explore your thoughts and feelings in a safe 1-1 space. For specific support and the willingness to be in an environment with members that can relate to you, The Relationship support room is available every Thursday 24/7.

There's probably some underlying stressors or grief that someone is going thru. And it's not obvious. It's best to stay calm and maybe throw in a small non-offensive joke ....or just walk away from the situation and get fresh air. Go for a walk outside. or GET ACTIVE. Turn on a dance song and dance. Fighting will ruin the relationship sometimes and its better to try and discuss why they disagree rather than fighting with them instantly. Its funner that way too! Get to know each other and learn patience and tolerance for somebody who is not exactly like you!

I believe we fight over small and stupid things to shift the focus from bigger problems. It is easier to pick on smaller things than tackle the larger issues. Sometimes the bigger issues are scary and difficult to talk about. So it is easier to focus on minuscule things such as not doing the dishes or picking up the house rather than focusing on problems that can be life changing. At least this is from my personal experience. I know for sure that I have avoided looking at larger issues instead of looking at them head on. It is easier to avoid them.

When you get to this stage in a relationship, it might be time to ask yourself some serious questions about where you both are; are you with each other because you still love each other and external factors are putting pressure on you both or are you together because you've been together for ages and it's become something more of a habit than anything else. Can you sit down and sort out what's bugging you both? Is that even something you want to do? Because if the answer is yes, from both parties, that might be all you need to do. Explain how you feel, and try and get them to do the same. Maybe this is something you can work out. But relationships, even great ones sometimes run their course and it's hard but essential to confront this, specially if you both want to be happy in future.

Although certain things may be "small" or "stupid" to one person, they may hold a lot of importance to the person voicing those concerns. It is also possible that we sometimes argue over what seems to be small matters because we are actually upset over another situation. Due to the unresolved feelings in one situation, the feelings carry over into other matters in our life. Thus, small inconveniences may trigger a person and evoke a strong emotion. A phrase that could capture this idea is "the straw that broke the camel's back." Our tolerance for inconveniences or disagreements lessens when we have unresolved conflicts.

Reactive emotions or secondary emotions escalate arguments. These emotions are more about defending and protecting than they are about comforting and securing. Unfortunately, couples who argue over stupid stuff tend to be great at sharing these type of emotions, but very poor at sharing and responding to others.Partners often say, 'We argue over stupid things,'” writes relationship therapist Dr. Jason Linder in Psychology Today. “This is somewhat true. That said, there are a lot more things partners are actually arguing about under the surface than what meets the eye, especially for the partners themselveset me think about that.” This works in part because it buys time. ... “You may be right.” This works because it shows willingness to compromise. ... “I understand.” These are powerful words. ... “I'm sorry.”.

Because the actual big structural problems need an outlet. Mostly there is a completely different reason underneath, for example that we are dissatisfied with ourselves or our environment or that we do not understand each other properly. It is usually worthwhile to stop and look at where the real problem lies. And if that doesn't work in the heat of the moment, you can get into the habit of taking a short moment afterwards to reflect on where the real problem was. We cannot change others, we can only try to change our perspective on things.

Usually, it's because we are yearning to feel loved and/or safe and we don't even realize it. For me, I feel unsafe when I feel controlled or bossed around. For the other party, they might feel unloved when things are not fully within their control. When conflict arises in a situation like this, it's helpful for me to communicate to them "i love you, and i am so grateful for our relationship. i want to understand you and i want you to understand me. i have past traumas involving being told what to do, which is why i got triggered when you asked me to ___. i understand that you grew up without someone fully meeting your needs, and that may be why you feel the need to order someone to do this task, and why it feels triggering when they refuse. please know that i'm trying my best, i see your past suffering and i dont hold it against you, however I have to stay within my boundaries too."