Why do I always think about him or her?

159 Answers
Last Updated: 01/23/2020 at 1:05pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Lianne Kirby, MA in Counselling Psychology


I believe everyone should have the opportunity for their voice to be heard. I use a trauma informed, person centred approach in counselling.

Top Rated Answers
November 25th, 2018 3:54am
Well, I am assuming they were a large part of your life at one point. A large part of your heart. They being someone you cared for makes them someone hard to forget. You think about them because you cared for them. You probably still care for them, which is not a bad thing at all. But by judging the amount you cared for them, I feel its safe to assume they cared for you. Saying that, I am sure they wouldn't want you here worried and thinking of them in a way that makes you sad. It is okay to think about them, any person that has a person close to them does. But make sure when you think of them you think of them as a person who cares for you and wants your smiling.
April 11th, 2019 5:26am
People who you once shared moments and memories with may be hard to stop thinking about, it was a different time in your life and you probably wish things could be different, but sometimes you have to accept that they aren’t and this is where you are. Life gets so much brighter when you accept the fact that nothing and nobody is permanent in your life and on the end , you can only make yourself happy. But i totally understand where you are coming from, it can be tough, but i believe you will push through and eventually no longer think about the person, seeking closure may also be a good thing to try out if you haven’t already, it can be especially difficult trying to forget something or someone while there are still open wounds.
June 8th, 2019 4:25pm
You always think about him/her because they are the person that makes you feel warm and safe. They are the one you want to spend time with, no matter how you feel. They are always on your mind because they make you feel wanted and understood. They get you, regardless of how weird or broken you may be inside. Despite having seen you at your weakest and your most vulnerable, they still stay by your side. They value your company as much as you value theirs. So of course you will think of them. How else would it be anyway?
July 5th, 2019 9:49pm
You may feel disconnected from yourself. Do as many things that make you happy as possible to try and find inner stability. I cannot tell you exactly what to do but I think you finding your own path will only add to the benefits of self observation. Remember that you are important on your own and don't need validation from anyone. You often think of this person and I think it is important to evaluate which occasions specifically make you think of them and try to find your own coping mechanisms from there onwards. I hope I've helped in some way.
July 20th, 2019 7:53pm
Because these people literally become a part of you. You pick up on their habits and quirks, and you adopt them. That could be slang, unconscious hand motions, certain methodical ways of doing things, etc. Now, whenever you catch yourself biting your nails (something you never did until you saw him do it), you remember where you learned it. We mirror the people we like, and then when they’re not they’re to show us what to do anymore, we’re lost. Our character was once defined by exactly what they did. So they’re always on our subconscious, whether we register it or not.
September 28th, 2019 7:50pm
Hey!! I believe the person you are thinking about is someone you care for very much or you have a deep attraction. I know its hard especially when you do not know why you are feeling this way. Or if you do not want to think about him or her. A lot of people feel this way and are asking the same question. I believe the answer is you are either really attracted to him or her or you care for him or her a lot. But just remember that even though you are thinking about him or her you need to take care of yourself first.
January 16th, 2020 4:58pm
Because they mean something to you. If you can't stop thinking about someone, in most cases you like them. It doesn't necessarily have to romantic but it does mean you well and truly care for someone if you can't stoop thinking about them. I hope this helped :)
January 22nd, 2020 7:41pm
I personally have experienced this and it hits close to home, sometime you feel an attraction to someone whether that is in a good way or a bad. I myself used to be obsessed with a boy in my school and I couldn't stop thinking about him, even when I told myself over and over that I hated and disliked him. Finally I just had to get over him, I looked at the bad sides of him. Believe me there were a lot, and I finally came to my senses and got over it. I am simply saying this so that you know that you aren't alone.
January 23rd, 2020 1:05pm
It's simple, you are in love and when you are in love you usually constantly have that person on your mind and every little thing reminds you of them, whether it be the weather or even a cup of his or her favorite drink they will always be in your mind constantly because that's the way love works and love is quite a peculiar thing if you ask me because one day you hate the person you love the next you are so in love with them that all your thought revolve around them because you are in love with that person.