My friend is always negative towards me. What do I do?
275 Answers
Last Updated: 05/14/2022 at 3:18am
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Elaine Kish, LMSW
Clinical Social Work/Therapist
My goal is to treat clients with respect and compassion. I am a supportive, strengths-based therapist with experience in treating mood disorders, grief, and trauma.
Top Rated Answers
It sounds like this person is taking quite the toxic toll on your life, and that's never a good thing! Toxic people can be quite cruel and damaging, however this is your friend so perhaps they do not even know how damaging their comments/actions are towards you. Perhaps you could talk to them and let them know that their comments are not welcome and that you do not need negativity in your life but would rather focus on the positives (In a kind way). Sometimes people don't think before they speak so they do not even know of the damage they cause, always voice your mind when you need something done/changed for the betterment of yourself. Peaceful wishes xx
Anonymous
June 23rd, 2018 8:12am
I believe you should have a talk with her. Asking her why she's behaving like that and that you don't like it. If she still does it. I believe it's better if you'd not associate yourself with people who bring you down.
Anonymous
June 30th, 2018 7:29am
I would not have a person that is negative in my friend circle. Even if that mean creating a new circle. No one has time for that. Live and let live. Agree to disagree if that the only option in keeping the peace. Two negatives can never be positive. But if you continue to focus your life on the positive. The negative is lees affective.
Speak to them, Honesty is the best policy, If you chat with them tell them how you feel, If you feel like its hard to open up then write them a letter, Do they know they are doing this and how this makes you feel?
You can choose to confront them about it and ask if you did something wrong or if they're going through something in their life. Sometimes the problem may not be you, but perhaps they're projecting their negativity towards you because they're going through something that they're not comfortable sharing with you directly. This is an unhealthy method of channeling their negative energy, so maybe consider asking them about it.
Anonymous
July 6th, 2018 5:11pm
Talk to your friend and ask them why. They may be going through some things at the moment. However, if things do not change and it’s making you feel horrible and unhappy, then you should end the friendship. It’s not a healthy friendship if it makes you miserable.
Anonymous
July 8th, 2018 7:57am
First, think of any reason as to why they would be mad at you. Still no clue? Confront them and ask.
If he/she is your friend that means you share a good relation. There must be some reason they are acting negative towards you. You can talk to them about this matter. You can ask them "what makes them feel Negative about you?". There might be some misunderstanding, or you can explain things better to them. If there is something wrong on which you both can work together. Hope it helps, best of luck!
You should speak to your friend if she is being really negative towards you and tell her how you feel. You shouldnt have to put up with people who put you down. If she continues to be like this, you should seriously consider finding a new friend who supports you in all that you do!!
Be Honest But Gentle, Tough but fair make a list of what good things this friend has done or been for you VS Bad Things
Anonymous
July 19th, 2018 6:58pm
Try writing a letter to them explaining how it makes you feel, that way you have complete control in what you say since it is pre-planned.
Anonymous
July 22nd, 2018 10:53am
You can ask your friend the reason for her behavior to better understand her and each situation separately.
You don't deserve to be treated poorly, especially by a friend. If this friend is being mean or rude to you, its okay to keep your distance from them. It doesn't mean you have to stop being friends with them, you can just spend more time with other friends who are kinder to you
I take it in a positive way and make him positive towards me. I will also make him known of it precisely how mean it is, after that if he changes its a good thing, If he doesn't changes then its time to change him I guess.
nobody has the right to be negative towards you, no matter what. try and look at your boundaries and work towards communicating with your friend as to how it is hurting you. if they stop (for good), they have empathy and are listening to you. if not, i'd suggest you find a way to make another friend. while i understand it's a hard hitting answer, it would be the best possible method for you until you rebuild your boundaries :-)
If anyone in your life is being constantly negative towards you, they are most likely not good for you to be around. If you have talked to them about how they act around you and they continue to do so, it might be time to say goodbye to them, despite how hard it is to do. You'll feel better in the end not being around such negative feedback.
Communication is everything. Try talking to your friend, find out why, ask questions. Negative or ‘toxic’ friends can be mentally draining, and no one deserves that. Judge by your friends answer; ask yourself “is this a valid reason that I should try to empathize with, or is it time to cut ties?â€
Anonymous
August 15th, 2018 7:10pm
If your friends are sending you negative energy or are making you doubt your self in any way then, I am sorry to say but you should find different friends. Real friends don't make you feel bad about yourself.
Make sure that you did not deprived them of the respect they deserved as a friend.If you think that you have behaved well with them,remained with them in their time of needs then you have nothing to do more for them.If they still thinks negative of you, just let them behave negatively.You will surely find a better friend for yourself.Life has to go on you cannot be stuck on someone for ever and also self care and self respect is the most important thing.You cannot control anyone's thought but you can surely control your actions and live a happy life.
Anonymous
August 29th, 2018 1:53pm
Ask if you did something bad to your friend that would make them act so negative. If your friend is acting bad for a reason you don’t know you could always ask them why or maybe consult with a mutual friend. Sometimes it can be scary to ask for help but if you are in a situation where you don’t know what to do I suggest you ask someone you trust for help, that’s what I do. I might have something to do with your friend’s personal life usch as family or friends, keep in mind that it can be a touchy subject so be careful when you ask them.
That is no friend. If that “friend†is constantly bringing you down then they aren’t a true one. Your friends should bring you up and bring out the best in you. You deserve so much better. â¤ï¸
I had a friend who did that and took me forever to realize that but I realized it a moment too late. I always put her before myself and I considered myself to be loyal and a great friend. I did not get it in return but I felt I wouldn’t get another friend like her. Well, I should of learned because she crushed me by doing the unspeakable to me.
Just know that you can find other friends that will raise you up and show you who you can become. You deserve the world and find friends who can prove that to you. â¤ï¸
One obvious solution is to walk away from them. But this is easier said than done; while we could always walk away from the bartender with a bad attitude or the airline agent with an anger-management problem, we can’t walk away from a parent, sibling, spouse, colleague, or friend with a negative attitude.
A practical approach to dealing with them is to start by understanding the reasons for their negativity. In brief, almost all negativity has its roots in one of three deep-seated fears: the fear of being disrespected by others, the fear of not being loved by others, and the fear that “bad things†are going to happen. These fears feed off each other to fuel the belief that “the world is a dangerous place and people are generally mean."
Anonymous
September 9th, 2018 6:21pm
You shouldn't be friends with that person because it is a form of bullying. Bullying means harassing. There is 6 types of bullying and they are verbal, cyber, prejuducial, physical, sexual, and relational bullying. Your friend was being a verbal bully which means talking about someone. Some examples are rumors, name calling, teasing, threatening, taunting, and inappropriate sexual comments. Make sure you tell their parents and tell the principal, because it can happen over and over again until you tell their parents and the principle. If it keeps happening tell the same people until it stops. Also tell the counselor and the teachers.
if your friend is always negative towards you, they really aren’t your friend. you should try looking for other people to surround yourself with. it is not good to have negativity in your life. it is best to keep yourself as positive as possible in order for you to enjoy life. tell this certain friend how you feel as well. if is important for them to understand how you feel in order for them to realize it and stop. this will also allow them to see how what they are doing is not good and it could possibly make them change the way they act.
First, told her that I can do well and next, I'm going to try improving myself so I can show her that I really can. I think this will change her perspective towards me and I think this will makes her see me as a positive person. I can also told her that no one is perfect and I am a human that sometimes can make mistakes and actually people have their own gifts.
This could be interpreted two ways:
~Your friend is negative about everything when speaking to you: in this situation you should try your best to make your friend see optimistically rather than pessimistically. If your friend is still negative after some time, and shows sign of depression or such mental health issues you should refer them to or suggest they see a professional.
~Your friend is negative about you towards you: you should tell your friend how you feel about how they are towards you. This kind of friendship is toxic and will make you very unhappy. If nothing changes, although it may be difficult the best thing to do is rid yourself of this toxic friendship.
You tell them how you feel. If they still don't get you, maybe you should get new friends. They can be toxic to you and affect your mental health. It's always better to surround yourself with positive people who care about you. they should motivate you in life and support you whenever you do not feel at your best. Identifying a toxic relationship is very important and necessary. If you feel that you're friends are always negative towards you, then you have to see if your friendship is what it used to be... Finding the right people in your life shouldn't be taken for granted. :)
Friends should be supportive and kind to you. If your friend is being negative it may be time to assess whether cutting them off is a valid possibility. Cutting out toxicity can be very difficult but is also extremely important to do. If it's a sudden change in your friend's personality, though, something may be going on at home or elsewhere. While it does not excuse their mistreatment towards you, it may be something to investigate before just cutting them out. While it's never easy to do, try and read the situation, you know them and the situation best, what do you think has happened? Has something changed? Have they always been negative towards you?
Anonymous
December 5th, 2018 7:02pm
I will show that they are no help with my problems or that i yalk abot and tell them the honest truth that they are negative towards me even though they are my friend they should help me instead of hurting me in any way and if they stay negative they are no friend towards me in any way even though we help eachother negativity is not the way to go no matter if i care for them they cant show that negativity towards me or others and i will also tell then that every negative thought will hurt me in everyway
Anonymous
December 16th, 2018 1:07pm
It never hurts to have a conversation with your friend and tell them how you are feeling and how their comments affect you. Asking them why can help both of you realise if there are any other underlying issues and will help you both to move forward. It is really important to be calm and rational because at the moment you don't know the whole story, it wouldn't be useful for any of you go raging at each other. If your friend continues after you talk to them a couple times you Cana lways ask an adult or another friend to help.
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