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What's the best way to get over someone calling you nasty names?

313 Answers
Last Updated: 11/25/2020 at 2:31pm
What's the best way to get over someone calling you nasty names?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Alex DS Ellis, MA, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

Feeling depressed or anxious can be so overwhelming. I want to help you feel better and be able to enjoy life. You are not alone and you deserve emotional support.

Top Rated Answers
March 20th, 2020 2:27am
Words can really hurt a person, maybe more then we realize. When we are faced with cruel name calling or being bullied most of us will tend to get back into their shell, to feel ashamed, to feel like they don't belong, to feel like it's our fault even though rationally we know it isn't. Name calling can ruin someone's self esteem especially if it's low to begin with. Some people like to feel superior and powerful by putting other people down and honestly there is no excuse for that. Regardless, we should always keep our head high, so what if people talk? It just proves how pathetic their life is to have time to critique ours. We shouldn't believe what people call us. At the end of the day, we only know who we really are, and if these words get to us, then they already destroyed us.
March 25th, 2020 9:32am
The best way to get over someone calling you nasty names, in my experience, is to remember such names come from someone who has nothing better to say - a sharp tongue, a mean mind and a wicked heart. Such people seem to have a default fall-back approach to anyone they see as a threat, an easy target, someone different to themselves - they think verbal abuse is ok because it gives them a feeling of power. I'm not a person who likes confrontation, so I tend to avoid people like that or at least distance myself from them if I work or live with them. I've found showing indifference often works. I found friends who valued and accepted me for who I am, faults and all. One job I had was really awful, just one girl thought she was queen bee and took to bullying a young man of mixed race. He left eventually, no-one spoke up for him, even the office manager. I'm ashamed to say I didn't either, I was too scared. Several times I've found myself isolated my a clique mentality, I just didn't fit in - I was too skinny, too shy, had no dress sense ... I wish I'd known how to develop a sense of self-worth, self-confidence and better social skills. If I was a young person now, I'd explore who I am, experiment with styles & makeup, fashion, hobbies and focus on ME. I'd also be kinder to others, even those who are the bullies. I watched a film once about a new girl in High School who tried to join in with the "in" crowd of girls. The leader told the young girl, if she wanted to be in her circle, she had to shop-lift & do other such challenges to show she was worthy. There was another, quiet girl, a studious but confident student who befriended the new girl. When challenged by The Bee, she said firmly, "There is absolutely nothing I want from you!" and the new girl said, "Me neither!" If you're facing verbal abuse alone ask for help - peers, parents, school staff, mentors ... If you feel you can't do that, focus on yourself and know that person calling you nasty names is probably hurt, deeply insecure & trying to make herself/himself feel more powerful by doing what they do.
April 8th, 2020 3:05am
The best way to get over any form of offense is to remember who the offense is coming from. Most of the time, the person who offended you has a few flaws that can assist you in rationalizing what they say. Second, do not let anyone make you feel any type of way. You are giving them control over the way you live life. Be mature and do not call them nasty names back, instead feel bad for them for being such an insecure and boring person that they spend their time bringing you down. That should be enough to remind you this person's opinion shouldn't matter. If their opinion for some reason matters a lot, then ask them why they are calling you these names, and question your loyalty to that character.
April 10th, 2020 5:07am
That is so horrible and I am so sorry you are dealing with that. All I can say is you know who you are more then this person, and just keep reminding yourself of that. We can't control others actions but we can control our reaction. "It's not what happens to you, it's what you do about it"
April 12th, 2020 11:48am
First, I'm sorry to know that you experienced that. We are not all equal when it comes to insult. Depending on our state of mind - we endure a lot more on a nice day than in the midst of depression… Interpretation is also tinged with our personal experiences, verbal or physical violence that we may have suffered before, etc. Because of this, it is difficult to provide a general answer to your problem. It of course also depends on the context. Above all, the first question to ask yourself, almost instinctively when you are insulted, is this : am I safe? The urge to respond to our attacker should not take precedence over our safety. We can ignore the person, if the situation dictates. If we feel available, and above all not threatened, we will be able to open up to our aggressor. Engaging in dialogue, the way depends on the desired effect and the context. But it is often difficult to control our reactions. To better live the verbal aggression, we can try to consider that this rage does not belong to us. The insulting person in front of us needs to come out of difficult emotions, which we are probably not the cause of, and which in any case is not justified. I'm not sure if I answer your question correctly, but I hope I've been helping out a bit.
April 19th, 2020 4:30pm
Just be confident and ignore people calling you names. You know who you are. Don't let anyone tell you what you should be. Have be aware about yourself. God has created us. God wanted us to be like the way we are. No one i repeat no one can tell you what you should be. But have faith in yourself. Have some goals. Have some interests. Have enthusiasm. Have zeal. Follow your aspirations. Follow your dreams. Follow your lifegoals. Anyone can't say you anything unless you allow them to do so. So the moral is to have inner confidence, inner zeal.
April 24th, 2020 3:22am
I believe the best way to handle someone speaking to you in a derogatory manner is to remind yourself whose opinion really matters to you, that hopefully being yourself. If someone would say rude things to you, it likely means that they do not have respect for you, and you do not have room for those type of people in your life. It may be somewhat cliche to hear, but ignoring naysayers is the way that I generally go about my business, as I know the people that I value, and I know who I am as a person. If you have a firm sense of self, no one can take that from you.
April 24th, 2020 4:56pm
Know that it's coming from a place of internal hurt and pain and that it has nothing to do with me. It's just how this person expresses their pain. You have to just remain calm and not react to it. It is also important to make it known that what they said hurt you, so they don't do it again. If a person is calling you names, do not talk back. Remain calm, cooperative, and understanding. Having empathy for someone and understanding that the way they speak does not mean that they are necessarily mad at me, they just haven't found the right ways to express themselves yet.
April 29th, 2020 4:06pm
The first step is to be strong and stay strong! Do not forget that YOU are unique. At times, just walking away from the situation helps. It shows whoever is calling you nasty names that you are strong and you won't let them hurt you any more. Forgive them for their harsh words; Maybe they are also insecure and doing so to compensate their own shortcomings. They are also Humans! And Humans make mistakes! There is no point in lowering yourself down to that person’s level and saying something mean in return. Confiding in someone also helps! All the best!
April 30th, 2020 9:29am
Build your own self confidence enough to know that they are not saying the truth. Mean words always hurt, it doesn't matter how much confidence you have on yourself, but if you build yourself you can take a break, breathe and try to rationalize the situation, so you can arrive to the conclusion that they are not saying the the truth. Talking to a friend about it can help too if you are still working on your self steem. Good friends will help you see the good in you even though some people are mean. For me, even if it hurts, making the thoughts rational is what works best for me.
May 3rd, 2020 8:31pm
When someone calls you names, it says many things about them..however it actually says nothing about you. It may seem embarrassing or hurtful to be in that environment, but have respect and boundaries for yourself and politely walk away. That person, after seeing how you calmly handle the attack, will most likely feel embarrassed after a bit of reflection or angry that you didn't give in to their true desire: to start a fight. When we stop tolerating hurtful people, we send them a message to grow up. If they reflect on this behavior, or not, it is up to them. Only you can add value to yourself : ).
July 6th, 2020 11:07pm
The best way to cope with name calling is understanding that there is a deeper problem within the name caller. Most times, a bully lashes out due to inner problems of there own. Usually, the bully has underlying self esteem issues, or has been bullied themselves. Example: Let's say Billy is being bullied by Tommy. Tommy tells Billy he is a "Sissy" and makes Billy cry. Seeing Billy cry makes Tommy feel better about himself because pain is directed on someone else. Tommy may have been called a sissy before too, maybe by his sibling or friend. This hurt him, so much so that he decided to pass the bullying on to someone else in hopes to feel better for himself. Understanding that it has nothing to do with you, even though you are targeted, is a great step towards not taking it personally!
October 20th, 2020 3:02pm
Try to think about it this way - the person that's saying mean things to you is probably very insecure about themselves. It is less of a reflection on you and more of a reflection on them. Oftentimes, they are just trying to get a reaction out of you for sheer entertainment because they are unhappy with their lives. I know it can be difficult, but in most cases holding your head high and not engaging is the best thing you can do. If the comment is really hurtful, try to calmly tell them so. If they don't stop, seek support from friends and adults :) hope this helped.