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How can I take steps to start loving myself again?

30 Answers
Last Updated: 03/30/2020 at 4:31pm
How can I take steps to start loving myself again?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2007 with a diverse group of adult clients with various diagnoses, all races, and socioeconomic classes.

Top Rated Answers
July 29th, 2015 7:54pm
Dear from what I can see you already took the first step towards it..You want to love yourself and that is the biggest and the most crucial step.One step forward would be respecting your opinions and not getting affected by your surroundings..For example don't think that if "this" person doesn't love me..I don't deserve to be loved..Love is for everyone.One thing I did which helped me a lot was to start loving and accepting myself and others.If you think you are not loved try to find it around you and spread it ."Be the change you want to see in the world".But I think you are already doing great if you want to love yourself
May 23rd, 2015 8:59am
Loving yourself is a hard step to take in a road to recovery, but in the end the first step is to evaluate what is stopping you from loving yourself in the first place. Be it self hatred, or driven in anxieties about self worth, there is always a barrier between reaching that love you deserve, as everyone deserves. From there its a process of tearing down the walls to reach your end all goal. Remember, you are KIND. You are SMART. You are IMPORTANT.
December 15th, 2015 2:44am
Think positively, and look past your imperfections. You are beautiful no matter what anyone says! You were created for a purpose. You are loved. Make yourself joyful. It can be the small things in life that you used to not notice anymore, such as the details in nature or the way the sunlight feels on your skin. Breathe in nature. Breathe in love, joy, selflessness, and confidence. Exhale hate, greed, selfishness, power, lust, and doubt. YOU ARE LOVED. Never forget that.
March 6th, 2015 2:52am
Everyday when I wake up, I write 5 things that I love about myself. I keep one big list, and I never repeat. Whenever i get insecure about something or dislike something that I just did, I take a look at the list and remember everything good that I do
May 9th, 2015 10:01pm
By loving others. By loving others for both their perfections and imperfections, you'll start to find love for your own perfections, and imperfections, also. Because you are an amazing human being.
May 27th, 2015 12:21am
Do you know when you look at your friends, family or even strangers when they are doing small things? Like listening to music, reading a book and then are smiling at it, answering the phone and having a good conversation and you think nice things about them when they do it? Or when you see a random person and you realize that shirt looks great in them! Or that scarf matches the person's eye and how amazing they look with it! Do the same for yourself, realize you look great as well, you look adorable when you smile at something you enjoy.
July 27th, 2015 4:41pm
Start looking at your strengths rather than your weaknesses. Look at yourself as a whole able to do whatever you set your mind for and go for it!
September 21st, 2015 4:12pm
You should it's hard but it's the mosf important step that you will do, if you love and believe in yourself everything will be easy just start
November 10th, 2015 3:16pm
you accept yourself the way you are. You don't let other people's opinions of you affect you and you continue to be happy
November 17th, 2015 11:44am
Just stand in front of a mirror someday and look at yourself, tell yourself that you are beautiful, say you love yourself and say you think you're amazing. Pick out 1 thing you like about yourself
December 21st, 2015 3:21pm
You may find it easier to start by being self-compassionate. So often we feel that we need to "earn" love, even from ourselves, but that's a trap. You deserve kindness and care and love just for being. Consider a baby - what can a baby possibly do to earn love? Must they be witty, smart, hard-working, or any of the hundreds of other things you imagine you must be first, in order to deserve love? Of course not! Yet we would all consider babies and small children wholly worthy and lovable. I've found Kristen Neff's writing on self-compassion very clear and accessible and for me has been a great first step on this path.
January 5th, 2016 11:56am
You have to begin by accepting and acknowledging your faults and imperfections. This also means having to accept and come to terms with the things you can not change that are part of you. You are who you are and nothing anyone else says can change that, loving yourself means loving all of you from the flaws to your best attributes its saying "This is who I am and I'm not perfect but I accept my humanity, the only person's approval I need on who I am is myself because I know what it feels like and is like to be me"
February 22nd, 2016 1:16am
Do something that. Makes you feel special. For me it might be getting my nails done or something like that. Nothing big but a little thing to feel important.
June 6th, 2016 9:16pm
Loving yourself is a very important thing, that not many of us do but we all should do this. To love yourself, you need to accept who you are. You cant exactly cchange yourself so you have to come to terms with the idea of who you are. You are perfect in your own way.
June 7th, 2016 12:21pm
One step a time
June 13th, 2016 1:01pm
It's a long road that starts with slowly accepting your flaws, and building the strength of character. Start looking for things you think are positive in yourself and embrace them.
June 27th, 2016 1:29pm
By looking out and not in. And one day you may really help someone who needs it. And that is unconditional love for yourself :)
June 28th, 2016 11:09am
Well its depends on the reason of not loving yourself, but speaking generally, first of all think about yourself that you came to this life for a reason know that reason put a goal for yourself start accomplishing those goals, be a good person to the people around you and their love to you after that will help you with the situation.
August 29th, 2016 4:26am
You can start from being thankful for things you have in life , thankful for what you have today. And the most important is being thankful that you still alive and healthy
August 30th, 2016 8:02pm
Set yourself small targets each day.These smaller targets will be consequential of bigger and better results.Don't rush into it but do take your time👍
October 10th, 2016 12:39pm
Go back to the times when you were happy. Talk to the people who made you happy and loved. Do things that you have always wanted...spend a little. Give yourself a gift. Help someone in need. Loving life itself will help you regain the love you had for yourself.
November 29th, 2016 7:50pm
First you need to think about your past, forgive your mistakes and then start a new. Start doing good things. But most importantly do not beat yourself things happen we can't control them but we can love our self
January 16th, 2017 5:35am
You need to start off small. Begin with listing things you like about yourself and then taking the time to tell yourself that. Focus on the positives and ignore the negatives. Gradually, you'll see yourself adding more to the list. Eventually, you'll be ready for further steps to loving yourself.
January 24th, 2017 3:02pm
There are fifteen might be tough but you have to push yourself through it. From the first to the fourteenth step all you gotta ask yourself why not love yourself? And now you have 14 reasons...On the fifteenth step work all those out.
August 21st, 2017 3:13am
Make a list of your good traits and skills. Make a list with your achievements. Make a list with your dreams. Start a self-care schedule, exercising, making a healthy diet, reading a new book, trying meditation and relaxation methods. Do things you love
February 12th, 2018 9:17am
First you have to backtrack a bit and figure out when you lost the feeling of loving yourself. Pinpoint what caused that and try to change things from there, whether is going back to what you were doing that made you happy or finding new things that will make you happy. Sometimes going a little back can push you forward a lot further.
February 26th, 2018 7:06am
Focus on your health and put yourself before others things that make you happy and ignore the negativity around you ..treat yourself like a kind/queen cause you deserve it
April 16th, 2019 8:48am
What a great question! First of all, I'm sorry that you have been feeling like you don't love yourself, but you did say "again", so that's great because you have some hope!! In my experience, I started with writing out things that I did like about myself. I wrote down another list of things that I didn't like about myself and then how I could change those things. I worked on the things I didn't like about myself. In time, I could turn that negative feeling about myself and put it on my positive list and watch my progress. I always referred to my positive list to keep myself motivated, having hope and seeing that I was making progress. I didn't rely on the words of people or their opinions of me anymore because I not only knew what was good about me, I was proud of the things that I had overcome. I got the feeling of empowerment and my confidence returned.
November 4th, 2019 4:30am
Self-compassion is so important! I think it might be helpful to remind yourself to treat yourself and talk to yourself like a friend. Because we usually treat our friends better than we do ourselves! But some other tangible steps to love yourself could be writing down a list of the things you do like about yourself or good things you've done. This is helpful to look at when you notice yourself being critical. You could also try a gratitude journal to write things you are thankful about. And you should also look into loving-kindness meditations! Apparently thinking positively of others helps us be nicer to ourselves.
March 30th, 2020 4:31pm
It's not something anyone can really help you with unless you take the initiative to do it yourself, there aren't certain steps either, we're all different from each other and each one of us use different ways to cope with this, you have to accept yourself for the way you are, and trust me I know it's easier said than done, it takes time and effort, but the sooner you start to do it the better. I have personal experience with this, I've been bullied by those closest to me, it broke me down, because it's not the actions of our enemies that hurt us, but the words of our friends.