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Is it irresponsible for me to have kids because I have depression?

34 Answers
Last Updated: 09/13/2021 at 4:20am
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Top Rated Answers
November 30th, 2014 6:07am
Just being diagnosed with depression does NOT make it irresponsible to have children. Many wonderful parents also struggle with mental health issues. HOWEVER, if you are currently at a point with your depression where you are unable to care for yourself, a partner, a pet, a plant, and/or (most importantly) a child... you may want to spend a lot of time thinking about whether you are ready to have a child NOW. It might be best for you, and your child, if you wait until you have found a way to manage your depression - with therapy and/or time and/or medication. So, just having depression is in NO way going to make you a bad parent. However, if your depression is untreated and severe, then you may end up incapable of finding the energy and ability to care for yourself, and by extension, for your child. There are, of course, many resources and ways to learn how to manage your depression and lean on other people for support if you DO have a kid and your depression gets worse - Nothing is a blanket statement! My mother has struggled with Bipolar disorder my whole life (part of the time undiagnosed) and she's been an amazing parent for me - but there have been times where her mental illness has made her unavailable. I have had great support from her partner and she's been in therapy and on medication, which has helped tremendously.
December 31st, 2014 12:36am
Definitely not. I believe that children may even help with your depression. In my experience, depression can be caused by a lack of purpose. We thrive for purpose as humans, we want to be needed. And Children will give you exactly that.
August 8th, 2016 7:17pm
On the contrary, children can cleanse our wounded souls and refresh our spirit. They are the light against the darkness of depression.
November 25th, 2014 6:03pm
Depends on how sure you are of yourself. Children are the best creations and gifts of Almighty God. Holding a child close to yourself might assure you of the presence of God and fill you with faith in him. However, children shouldn't be seen as a way of getting over depression. you'll have to give it your best to protect them, nurture them, love them COMPLETELY. If you're ready to do it, then there's no doubt about how exceptional a parent you will be:) but if you are unsure about it, I think it's best to come back to it when you feel you are ready.
July 11th, 2015 6:01am
This is a hard one for me. I have kids and I suffer with depression. I always know my triggers after so many years. I know when to see my doctor and or to seek help. It does effect my kids so I am not going to lie there. But I do try to make it as minimal as possible by staying on top of knowing my triggers and taking action to minimize it. I also have two children who suffer with depression and come from a family where depression is prevalent. I do believe it is hereditary.
November 25th, 2014 12:23am
In general, it's my view that it is only irresponsible to have children if you cannot care for them and keep them safe but if you can keep them safe then I would say its okay.
November 24th, 2014 11:56pm
No. You can still be a great parent. You just have to believe in yourself! Maybe you can spend extra family time together to help cope with the depression.
December 21st, 2014 9:17am
We cannot help what our mental ailments are. What we can help is how we handle them. The most responsible thing a parent with depression can do is actively seek treatment, and disclose their journey with their children, when they are old enough to understand, with honesty. Depression can be hereditary, and as the parent, it is up to you to be the example for your child(ren) of the process that comes with living with depression.
June 13th, 2016 12:27pm
I would say your health goes first. It doesn't mean you'd be a bad parent, but depression would most likely interfere with your parenting abilities.
November 25th, 2014 11:08pm
A lot of people really struggle with depression and live successful lives with children. I think it'd be a shame if you didn't, as long as the depression is under good care and management and isn't going to affect the child or make your life worse as a result of having a child.
December 16th, 2014 10:27pm
Children are walking happiness. They make you laugh, give you hugs, and can always tell when something was wrong. They should make your depression lighten if you have them.
June 22nd, 2015 9:01am
I wouldn't say irresponsible. On the bright side if you have children they could really help lift you up, but the downside is as much as you love them it could make things worse. I would talk to your doctor!
- Expert in Depression
June 26th, 2015 9:36pm
i think so. It wouldnt be good for the kids and for you too. Get help before you become kids. Very imprtant, in my opinion.
June 27th, 2015 3:46pm
يمكنني التغلب على كل المشاكل النفسية , بأستخدام التفكير المنطقي , وجعل الهدف في الحياة ليس العيش فقط , و إنما اكثر من ذلك ..
Anonymous - Expert in Depression
July 12th, 2015 11:13pm
It's only irresponsible if you feel that you cannot provide for them - if you are able to still look after the kids, give them emotional support and be stable around them - then go for it. However the stress of parenting can take an emotional and physical toll on you so be very careful about what you do.
July 23rd, 2015 11:43pm
You probably asked me this because you have an interest in becoming a parent but I can tell you this, its important that if you want to become a parent you're fit to become one. When you become a parent you have a huge responsibility of looking after your child and their needs that sometimes your needs never get put down high on the list so significantly if you think you're at a point in your life in which you think you'll be able to cope with having kids then go for it I congratulate you for taking a big step into wanting to become a parent - that's amazing but remember self care is important too so remember to take some time out to take care of your own needs and wants as well so that you are not left feeling worse. Feel free to consult your doctor about it or even a counsellor if you want to go into further discussion - I hope this helped you in some way and I wish you the best with your decision and in everything :)
August 13th, 2015 6:02pm
Absolutely not! Many, many people with depression have children and raise those children to live healthy and happy lives. The idea that people with certain illnesses (both mental and physical) should not have or raise children is based on false logic. Depression doesn't inhibit you from caring for and loving your children. And if you feel as though your depression is keeping you from taking care of your kids the way you want or they deserve, there's nothing wrong with reaching out to friends or family members to help you out.
May 31st, 2016 5:07pm
It all depends on how serve your deppression is if you are very depperesrd and can't even take care of your self then it can be seen as irresponsible,
July 11th, 2016 6:02am
Well it is better to work through the mental illness whether you have kids or not, especially if you have kids and are depressed. That becomes imperative for your well being and for them as well. So the irresponsible thing is not about the kids, rather not seeking help and management routes for the illness before you have them or even after you have had them.
August 7th, 2017 1:37pm
Of course not. It may pose as an extra challenge, since you'll have to support your child in managing their own emotions while balancing yours, but it is your body and your life and your choices to have children. You deserve to follow your happiness. Reach out for support when you need it, but that child will be lucky to have someone as sensitive as you as their parent.
January 3rd, 2015 1:42pm
Children can be a new source of happiness. If you want to have one don't hesitate. But here's tihe thing, if you're not sure you can deal with them properly wait till you can. Don't take that decision unless you're certain you can handle it, but depression doesn't really affect it.
April 25th, 2015 7:08pm
No not at all. If you are asking this, you must have a desire to have children. If you do then that is a good reason to have them, and has already demonstrated you will love them! My mother has depression, and she is a great mother, and often says me and my brother give her purpose, and give her the strength to carry on, to have a happy life.
June 7th, 2015 9:22am
No not at all. You can have kids and kids can often light up your world and help you. Depression can come and go. And kids can really help you to cope.
June 19th, 2015 5:17am
It isn't :) Lots of people have depression and have children. Having children can even help depression, as it is something to give you joy and happiness.
July 4th, 2015 10:59am
You need to understand your circumstances, seek help, don't make decision when you're upset, because you could regret it ..
July 25th, 2015 2:17am
Not irresponsible, but it's definitely a personal choice. Make sure to discuss it thoroughly and to take care of yourself so that you can take care of your kids.
July 26th, 2015 1:49am
Not unless you're so depressed that you can't take care of them. You might want to have some plans in place for if you get worse, though.
August 9th, 2015 8:02am
No, it's not. Lots of people get postpartum depression after they give birth. Depression can be helped.
May 23rd, 2016 10:44pm
No because the kids may help you with depression because they might make you really happy
May 24th, 2016 6:30pm
It isn't irresponsible to have kids but it might be a good idea to talk to a therapist about your depression