How can I change how my family feels about me? I'm treated like the black sheep.

105 Answers
Last Updated: 04/10/2018 at 8:36pm
How can I change how my family feels about me? I'm treated like the black sheep.
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Kim Hughes, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

It is my passion to help people through rough patches in life and those struggling with anxiety, depression, self-worth, and issues related to sexual orientation and identity.

Top Rated Answers
fantasticButton57
May 22nd, 2016 8:56pm
Speak to them about it tell them how you feel left out and in involved I'm sure they will understand
genuinity24
May 25th, 2016 3:49pm
Changing how other people feel is tough. What you can do is focus on how you feel about yourself. The happier you are with yourself, the less it will matter what other people think.
brightFish45
May 28th, 2016 3:58am
You can only be who you are meant to be.. You shouldn't change for you family . And your family should change you. If they love you, they should accept you, and if they don't then are they really worth the love you have to give.
ingeniousSunshine30
June 9th, 2016 10:56am
First of all, try to focus on what do YOU think of yourself. Treat yourself like you want to be treated. Then when you get comfortable with how you are, talk to them, try to describe how you're feeling and ask them how they are feeling about the situation.
Victoriaalexandraa
June 10th, 2016 10:44pm
The fact you care what your family think about you shows so much, just keep being yourself and i'm sure they will treat you better.
Anonymous
June 17th, 2016 7:03pm
Think about how you got that reputation. Think about how you can change that. You're parents probably don't even think of you as a "black sheep".
allnaturalUnicorns70
July 14th, 2016 8:44pm
Sometimes family just gets a certain perception of a person and kind of pushes that image on them. Decide yourself that you are important, you have nothing to feel like a second-rate citizen about, and hopefully your positive energy will change some opinions.
Anonymous
July 15th, 2016 12:02am
You can't change how others feel about you, and you don't have to change for anyone either. I am the black sheep in my family too. I once had a therapist that told me it's okay to be the way I am, so that's who I am. Just be yourself.
WeAreExistence
July 22nd, 2016 4:45am
In all fairness, as the black sheep of my family, I've embraced the role. And I love being me because of it. There is nothing wrong with being the black sheep. And sadly, there is no way of changing someone's opinion of us. That's up to them. The only thing we can change, is how we feel about ourselves.
SpiritAlchemistAlexandra
April 10th, 2018 8:36pm
This is a reflective, responsive universe. The universe inputs whatever you yourself are outputting. If you want to change how others feel about you, change how YOU feel about you. The people outside you are always reflecting your internal reality. You have the power to change how they treat you by changing how you treat yourself.
FaithInYou
October 4th, 2014 10:15pm
Talk to your family about how you feel! They might not realise thet treat you like that. Don't be scred to tell them how you really feel and tell them what makes you feel like that. Good luck!
Aflower
October 22nd, 2014 7:27pm
Try to show them that you don't, by doing something which would make them speechless... Just think and you'll find something you can do. If you are willing to do so, you will find a way. Good luck!
Uniqueg
November 13th, 2014 11:37pm
Make sure their aware of how their treating you, and maybe together you guys can figure out why your treated as the black sheep and what you guys can do as a family to change it!
Anonymous
October 26th, 2015 2:29am
Communication. Most of the time they don't know you are feeling that way. Tell them that it's affecting you. Don't get mad about it, but have a reasonable talk.
Anonymous
February 17th, 2016 4:45pm
Just tell them how you feel. Hopefully they'll listen and you can work out your problems. I've been in your shoes, I know how it feels.
Anonymous
February 17th, 2016 7:22pm
Mabye you should talk to tham and try to explain them how much they hurts you by treated you like the black sheep.
Greatlistener87
February 18th, 2016 2:18am
It is good if you can seat them down and tell them how you feel and what you like to be different. You will be surprise on how much just talking can solve.
shvrry
February 18th, 2016 6:29am
Tell them how you feel. If you are not listened to or understood by them, show them better. Try your best and show them the best sides of you and always remember to respect your family members.
PaintedTree8764
February 20th, 2016 4:30am
I think you should find out why they treat you like that. If you know why try to think of a way that will proove them wrong.
Anonymous
February 24th, 2016 7:37pm
I understand that you are not happy with your current situation. What are the actions that make you feel so?
Anonymous
March 2nd, 2016 6:13pm
being the odd one is very difficult , we cant change how our family feels about us but talking to them might help them understand who you are in a more positive way.
glowingPassion10
March 4th, 2016 10:05pm
Tell them how you feel in being the odd one out but don't shout or have a massive go at them but be patient
Anonymous
March 11th, 2016 6:29am
Do you. So what they don't like you? So what you're treated different? So what you're the oddball? Different is awesome! Imagine if we were all the exact same. Boring, right?
LucyCat20
March 12th, 2016 6:22am
have a family meeting with all of them in a neutral area and talk about it. let them understand you.
RewardingSun
March 19th, 2016 1:54am
Having a sit down and letting them know how you feel may open up some new windows and resolve issues. This could be a possible way that all parties involved can figure out what you expect from each other in order to live peacefully.
Steelymic
March 19th, 2016 8:35am
What do they do to make you feel like you are treated so differently? It's worth thinking about each person who you feel treats you differently and see how they are with others. It might be worth broaching a member and let them know how their actions or inactions make you feel, they might be totally unaware they are doing this
Anonymous
March 20th, 2016 8:17pm
It can be awful feeling out I place in your family. The best thing to do is talk to them. Tell them how they make you feel so that you can all learn to deal with our problems.
kindForest39
March 23rd, 2016 4:24pm
Share things you are interested in, educate them in your likes and hobbies, find ways in getting them involved so thy feel they can connect to you
MyPotOfTea
March 30th, 2016 2:04pm
Be sure to spend time with your family. Make a plan to maybe go out on a big camping trip or go out on a picnic, both activities are good for releasing tension and stress.
Anonymous
March 30th, 2016 3:31pm
Speak to them! Voice your opinion! They won't stop mistreating you until you put your foot down and ask for justice.