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My boyfriend or girlfriend is embarrassed of me. What should I do?

283 Answers
Last Updated: 03/16/2022 at 5:05pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
Moderated by

Lisa Meighan, MSc Psychology


Hello, I am Lisa and I work in a person-centred approach mixed with cognitive behavioural therapy. I believe we all have the potential to be the best we can be.

Top Rated Answers
November 11th, 2015 11:09am
If ur relationship partner is ashamed of you. Don't care whatever the reason maybe. If you can accept their mistakes and flaws why can't they. Love is all about loving and caring for each other irrespective of their mistakes or even their ordinary behaviour. If you are fat take pride in that, if u speak too much or too less take pride in that, if you do anything that defines you be round of that because that's who and what you are. You've no need to change it for a person who can't accept the real you but want another person out of you according to their own preference. Wish them all the best for your life and move ahead there definty someone who'll never be embarrassed by you and will love you no matter what happens.
Anonymous - Expert in Family Stress
February 9th, 2016 10:16pm
Leave them! You deserve someone who loves you for who you are. You should never feel ashamed and you should never feel less than anyone else. If they have such a problem with you, then why bother giving them the time of day? You deserve better.
February 8th, 2016 5:14pm
If someone is embarrassed to be with you, the most important part is to think about why that is. Are they a naturally shy and self conscious person? Do you like to draw attention to yourself? Does their embarrassment stem from having the spotlight on them or does it stem from their belief that your actions reflect negatively on themselves? There's a difference between, "It's embarrassing when you shout loudly in the middle of a crowd to draw attention to us" and "I don't like the way you dress, you look like a slob and it's embarrassing". If it's the former, there's a good chance that the embarrassment has nothing to do with you personally. Your partner may just not be as outgoing as you are, and that can be okay. If your partner is embarrassed because they think that your actions reflect negatively on them, than that's a different story. When you date someone, it should be because you like and accept them as the person they are. You should never be compelled to change things that you like about yourself because someone else may not like those parts of you. Everyone deserves someone who accepts them for the person that they are. If your boyfriend or girlfriend makes you feel bad about yourself, maybe it's best to move on.
December 3rd, 2015 11:13pm
Ask yourself if this person is accepting you for who you are. In our society, it's not nice being judged by anyone, but for your partner to feel embarrassment about you, well that's just an undesirable feeling you shouldn't have to put up with. Your partner should support you and embrace who you are.
January 4th, 2016 12:40pm
I think you should leave them. Don't even question them about their opinions on you because they don't matter, you deserve to feel unconditionally loved and cared for.
December 2nd, 2015 5:44pm
I think that the key in this case is communication. Since the question of "What should I do" is being asked, I can sense that the desired result is to have a happy, healthy relationship. Talk to them and relay your feelings in a constructive way; confrontation doesn't have to be negative. Point out to them that they are doing something that bothers you, BUT make sure you don't push all the blame onto them or they may feel attacked. Let them know that it is an emotion that YOU are feeling and that the issue is a two-way street, and that as a couple, you both share responsibility in the issue. When done well, confrontation about unhappy thoughts can result in an amazing sense of relief and a strengthened relationship.
November 7th, 2015 11:50pm
Real love is when we admire someone, respect them, and appreciate for who they ar, regardless of what their physical appearance, social class, or any external thing that doesn't define us as human beings. Yeal love doesn't see flaws, only imperfections that make us unique. If your partner is not proud of showing you to the rest of the world, than they don't deserve a place in your life. Find someone who celebrates your uniqueness!
December 5th, 2015 9:19pm
If your girlfriend or boyfriend is embarrassed, you should ask them why and have a talk with them and make a compromise that would work between the two of you to salvage your relationship.
November 7th, 2015 1:49am
I found that I felt the same way with my past boyfriend, and I also had no clue what to do. I ended up just talking to him about it and it turns out that I had just been misreading the situations and overthinking things. Sometimes in order to know the truth you just have to ask.
November 8th, 2015 4:13am
If your boyfriend or girlfriend is embarrassed of you, chances are that they are not worthy of being with you. If they can't see how beautiful and how wonderful of a person you are then they are not worth you time. You shouldn't even waste your time fighting with them because they are simply not worth it. What I would suggest you do is break up with them because being in a toxic relationship like that is not loving and caring as it should be. You should not waste your time trying to fix the relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend because if they really feel that way about you then they obviously don't love you and aren't worth your love. Seek out people who love you and see how good of a person you are. These are the people you should spend your time with.
November 8th, 2015 7:39pm
Ask him/her why they feel this way, and if it cannot be resolved then it would be best to end it the relationship.
November 7th, 2015 5:36pm
Are their reasons valid or superficial? If valid, it's your choice to understand, accept and try to improve. If superficial, decide whether they are healthy for you. No one should break down your sel-worth.
November 7th, 2015 6:45pm
If the embarrassment is about should probably leave him cuz it's not looks all the can't love someone for lifetime for their looks. But if it is some kind of behaviour has to think whether such behaviour is right one or not. If it is a good one you have to be yourself. If not, change for good and love him more...
March 4th, 2018 2:02pm
you need a partner who is not embarrassed of you. who thinks of you as equal to him/her. leave her/him. but still you can ask for the reason why that person is embarrassed of you and if it is because of something you did wrong then correct it.
November 15th, 2015 3:26pm
be honest and say how you feel, if they're embarrassed of you, they don't deserve you. You have agreed to be in a relationship, not hide
December 2nd, 2015 10:58am
If you're feeling like your partner is embarrassed of you in any kind of way, the best thing you could do to put your mind at ease is to sit down with your partner and explain to them what's going on in your mind at this moment in time and that you feel like they may be embarrassed of you or how you're acting. Ask them what it is so you both can work it out together :) But first ask yourself what the reason could be, at least that way you will have an understanding of what's going to be said when you have that sit down with each other. Be strong! and remember talking is the key.
January 4th, 2016 5:14pm
Confront them. Tell them that you feel like they are embarrassed of you. Ask for reasons and try to understand those reasons. If any of them offend you as a person, you should reconsider the relationship.
April 29th, 2018 12:57pm
Are sure of this feeling of your boyfriend/girlfriend? If you are, what about you is making him/her embarrassed? Talking to him/her directly in non confrontational tone will help. Show sure signs of you wanting to solve this for both of you. Cheers
November 7th, 2015 5:08pm
you should talk to them and find out what they are embarrassed about. remember your unique and don't let anyone change anything about you
April 25th, 2016 2:07pm
talk with them and express to them how you feel. you never know, maybe its something with them and not you at all!
November 7th, 2015 8:11am
Discuss what it is they are embarrased about. If its an easy fix and you are ok with changing it do so. If not, try to be understanding of her or his feelings. Explain why this is not something you are willing to change. See if there is a medium compromise. Or discuss what else can be done to address the issue. If the person is wanting you to change things that are unreasonable or are trying to make you someone you arent...a change in partner may be the only answer. It is not good to change your entire self if you dont like the chsnges. That will only lead to resentment.
November 7th, 2015 8:41am
If your boyfriend/girlfriend is embarrassed of you, personally i wouldn't put up with that anymore. The person you're in a relationship with should be making you feel good about yourself.. Not bad. I'm not saying to just go and dump him and her, i am saying that it isn't right for someone to do that. best luck to you!
November 7th, 2015 1:46pm
Someone who loves you should not be embarrassed of you! I would talk to them about it about what and explain to them about how it makes you feel. Also get there side and see what they feel. Work on a compromise, compromises are what relationships are built on.
November 8th, 2015 10:51am
It's important to find the direct cause of your problem, and address it together in a mature manner. Although this can happen in any given case and you shouldn't feel ashamed or worried, there are always very specific reasons for this whether your boyfriend or girlfriend realizes / admits it. This topic can get out of hand and lead to an argument considering some of the defense mechanisms we as humans are conveniently equipped with, so the key is to be calm and discuss it using words, and never feeling pushed around (or making your significant other feel that way).
November 8th, 2015 10:14pm
"Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind" -Dr Seuss. You should have a serious discussion with them about how you both feel surrounding why they're embarrassed, and how you feel about your significant other being embarrassed of you.
April 18th, 2017 5:26pm
Hey! The first most thing is to understand what aspect of behaviour makes you think he/she is embarrassed of you. Most relationships face problems due to misunderstandings and confusions. So make sure you talk to your partner without making a direct accusation. Now, the second step is to discover the reason why that might be the case. You might want to introspect and see if you are making a mistake or try to talk this out with your partner, again be rational and peaceful. Finally, if your efforts are failing and your partner still seems embarrassed, may be you should consider where your relationship is heading or visit a relationship adviser for help
September 21st, 2017 4:19pm
You should have a face to face talk regarding the same. This is the person you really like and want you in your life. They shouldn't be embarrassed of you. They should be proud to have you. You should ask them the reason for the same and try to arrive at solutions wherein they are satisfied without you having to compromise anything major. The solution can come only if you both talk openly otherwise the situation will just get worse.
June 20th, 2018 10:51am
Give them some time to think things through. Maybe she/he's embarrassed of dating in general, not you in particular. Try talking to them and understanding just where the problem is.
April 3rd, 2019 8:21am
You have to talk to your boyfriend (or girlfriend). If one person is embarrassed of their partner in a relationship, then it’s not really much of a functional relationship in the first place. No one deserves to be treated like they’re not good enough, and your partner is, by being embarrassed of you, treating you like that. That’s not okay. It’s important to figure out why they’re feeling that way. Perhaps it’s something other than embarrassment. Perhaps your partner has his/her/their own insecurities. Perhaps they aren’t embarrassed, but rather scared of what others might think about your relationship. Either way, communication is the only way to find out.
June 27th, 2019 12:38pm
You should confront them and tell them that you love yourself and you won't change for them.Your are perfect the way you are.Tell them that you are with them not because they want to be, but because you also want to be. Show that you are not embarrassed of them and they shouldn't be as well. Tell them you love them for who they are and not for their looks,but if they can't do the same ,it makes you uncomfortable and if they love them will all their heart they should not be embarrassed of who you are,but first love yourself.