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My boyfriend or girlfriend is embarrassed of me. What should I do?

283 Answers
Last Updated: 03/16/2022 at 5:05pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
Moderated by

Lisa Meighan, MSc Psychology

Counselor

Hello, I am Lisa and I work in a person-centred approach mixed with cognitive behavioural therapy. I believe we all have the potential to be the best we can be.

Top Rated Answers
joyousRabbit8050
July 3rd, 2021 9:49am
I would highly suggest to be transparent on how you feel towards one another. Ask pently questions and have things settled and clear with one another! It is important to keep things as calm and settling, it isnt good to argue with both parties being angry with each other. The future is bound to come up at some point. If they're not willing to plan it with you, it may be because they don't really see you as part of it. "Someone who doesn’t take you into consideration for the long-term wants to take each day as it comes rather than focus on a future with you, which is signaled by not following through on plans that are made"
Anonymous
July 22nd, 2021 2:45am
You could try and find out why their embarrassed of you and figure out how that affects your relationship. And what emotions this makes you feel, then make a decision on what you want to do. Decide if being in this relationship is affecting your mental or physical health poorly if so, decide if your boyfriend is worth it. You can also try working this problem out with your significant other, see their side of the story and their reasoning, many times this can change your perspective as well. See if their reasoning is valid and then what you want to do based if his perspective.
starthere7
August 22nd, 2021 4:11pm
Maybe he/she is not the right one for you. To be with someone, is to accept them for who they are. If someone is embarrassed of you, most likely they are not accepting of you. It might also mean they want to change you. If you are happy with yourself, you should not change for anyone but yourself. I truly believe that if someone is changing you, they are not into you but is trying to change you to their liking at your expense, happiness and your individuality. be you! Reassess why you or they are in the relationship.
heartfulShell2545
August 25th, 2021 2:05am
A partner is someone who is meant to make you feel good about yourself, someone you can feel comfortable around and vice versa. If your partner is making you feel this way it's important to address it as good communication is imperative for a healthy relationship. If your partner is unkind or unwilling to discuss your concerns it may not be a good fit. That being said if your partner is willing to discuss your concerns be sure to be receptive to what they're telling you only as long as it is constructive and not hurtful. Boundaries are important to make for yourself and as a couple.
JustHereForYou222
October 8th, 2021 9:51pm
I could see how this could make someone question their self worth if their partner is embarrassed of them. I would work towards finding self love instead. By teaching yourself that you are the most important person in your life and that you come first, you could over come the negative feeling of those close to you. Also if you find yourself unhappy in a relationship then it is time to let go and work towards loving yourself and taking care of yourself. Becoming more in touch with our emotions and dealing with them on our own is always good.
Anonymous
October 10th, 2021 2:39pm
You may wish to first speak to your partner to understand if that is what they really thinks. If your partner does feel this way, have an open communication to see if it can be resolve it. An open communication will help you better understand your partner's needs and wants. At the same time, it can give your partner insights to how you feel as well. It's a win-win situation. Do remember to go in with an open mind. Bear in mind that we are working to resolve an issue and not cause one. It may be hard but its worth the shot.
Anonymous
November 10th, 2021 10:14am
Can you explain the reason for the embarrassment? Also, if not then you must communicate what you feel because that might help. In any relationship only when you trust the other person and share what you feel openly can you build a strong bond and then only you both will stay happy for longer period of time. Otherwise you might feel frustrated and cramped up inside you whenever you might come in close proximity with that person. Also, then you might overthink even the smallest of things as you both find it difficult to communicate what you actually feel. I hope this helped you in anyway. Thank you for this question.
JORNWCULA
November 18th, 2021 5:18am
Then let them be embarrassed. Our lives are too short to be bothered by the evil around us. Nobody is perfect, so who do they think they are to feel they can judge, let alone be "embarrassed" of someone else? Do not allow it to get the best of you. Always remember that regardless of what some may say, you're an amazing person! no matter what someone else might think. Everyone deserves to be happy, so keep doing you and if they cant seem to understand that, then leave them. It's not fair to you to be bothered by their feelings about you. It's just like food, if you don't like it, don't eat it.
Anonymous
January 1st, 2022 4:05pm
First, can this question include "significant others" more generally, including boyfriends and girlfriends too? I'd like to be inclusive with our language for our nonbinary peoples. To answer the question, if significant other is embarrassed, spend time reflecting on why. It's possible you're violating a boundary or might need to change a behavior. Be open to having a conversation together about it to understand what's going on better. Communication is important here. It's also possible significant other has unrealistic expectations or isn't respecting you. If that's the case, also be prepared to have a conversation together. Be willing to be honest and also know your own worth. Key is to take the embarrassment as a growing experience to understand and work on together if possible.
MusicalBug
January 16th, 2022 6:10pm
It can be extremely hurtful when somebody we care about expresses embarrassment of something we have done or said. You deserve to have people in your life who lift you up and encourage you! It's important to stay true to who we really are and what makes us happy, and the people in your life should align with that rather than tear us down. You should consider if he is embarrassed of you in public, or in private, or both- why does he feel comfortable telling you how you should act? Open communication is important, reach out gain some clarity on why he's feeling this way. Ultimately, it's important to stay true to you! :) Best of luck.
glasseyedgrace
January 20th, 2022 5:44pm
That must be really hurtful, I am sorry you have to feel this way. I cannot tell you what to do, only you have the power and the say so to decide what is best for you and your life. However, I want to ask you something. Why are they embarrassed of you? And what, if anything makes them feel that they are in the position to feel like you are beneath them or an embarrassment to them? Look deep within yourself and there you will find your solution. Do you feel valued in this relationship? Do you like the way it feels to be with this person? I truly hope that you can find the courage to place enough value on yourself and respect, that you can find the best solution. Good luck, you deserve to be happy and loved and whoever you are with should make you feel that way!
Anonymous
February 24th, 2022 6:03am
Confront them about it. Tell them how you felt . if they apologise and accept their mistake then good otherwise move on and they might not the one for you. if they think you are overreacting then leaving is best options . Connecting with your partner and accepting them as they are and help them to overcome their insecurities should be main priority. Communicate with your partner and tell about insecurities and listen about their as well . If they embarrasses you accidently then talk things out but if you thing it's intentionally try to talk them otherwise you know what's best for you.
nuuuris
March 16th, 2022 5:05pm
Talk to them, there's nothing better than communication. Let him/her explain him/herself. Maybe it is not what you think or he/she has a reason, for example, family issues. In a relationship if there's something that you don't feel ok about, you should speak up your emotions. Also you can maybe talk to a friend about it and see what they think. Once you know what is going on, you'll be able to decide what to do. Sometimes relationships get really difficult to handle but talking to each other about how you feel really helps solve problems and reach out a solution between you two. I hope I've helped, you can write to me any time you want, good luck sweetheart