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My boyfriend or girlfriend is embarrassed of me. What should I do?

257 Answers
Last Updated: 01/01/2021 at 12:12pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Deane Rain Marie, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I take a holistic approach in working with eating disorders, mood disorders, relationships, and the LGBTQ community. I use EMDR, Dreamwork, Stories, CBT and Cinema therapy.

Top Rated Answers
Emily619
May 4th, 2017 6:21pm
When someone is embarrassed of you, that can definitely be rough! Although I don't have personal experience with this, asking them why they're embarrassed of you can help, and ask if you can change that. Remember, don't change yourself too much just for someone else
Anonymous
May 7th, 2017 11:52pm
Ask them about how they feel. You'd never really know how someone feels unless you have some kind of clarification.
gracefulPalm90
May 8th, 2017 4:13am
Great question! sometimes we all do things to embarrass someone on purpose or by accident. Depending on what the embarrassment is about use this to make the best decision for yourself. Is your partner embarrassed of the way you look? people that love us will not put this kind of shame on us. With love we develop respect and care for another persons feelings. Is your partner embarrassed because you are not able to do something someone else does? well then, we are all different and can only do what we "can" do. No one has a right to make you feel bad and if this continues i strongly encourage you to seek new companionship.
Anonymous
May 20th, 2017 12:15pm
If your boyfriend/girlfriend is embarrassed of you, they clearly don't appreciate YOU as a person. If they were truly in love with you then they would want to tell everyone you were an item. Consider you options. Maybe they just need time to realise the problem and sort it out. I'd advise you to take a break from each other, if they really care, they'll fight to get you back and tell everyone that they are doing so. Also, I'd talk to them about the problem, maybe there's a reason for their decisions. Think about how they must be feeling.
Anonymous
May 21st, 2017 3:45am
First, know that you are nothing to be embarrassed about. If he/she really thought you are embarrassing, he/she would've already dumped you. I don't know much about this person, but from my experience it's just a cool act. However, this isn't okay. You shouldn't be the on being degraded for whatever he/she's doing, you don't deserve it. Even though it's hard, confront him. And if he doesn't change, you'll find someone who will treat you like a human being.
Anonymous
May 22nd, 2017 3:46pm
This is unacceptable if you are to be in a happy relationship. It is their embarrassment, not yours, and therefore their responsibility. It's also an emotion that comes from a place of worry about what other people might think, and that also is more about your partner. Do talk about it and find out where this is coming from. I've sometimes been embarrassed of what my wife does in public - she simply doesn't care what other people think and will laugh really loudly and say outrageous things. Since I'm rather quiet and am usually shy and embarrassed when I get too loud, it makes me uncomfortable when other people are. However, this is my problem, not my wife's. It's mine to change and think about. Good luck!
IsaBunnisses
June 4th, 2017 6:23pm
I think that you should talk to them about it. Miscommunication is a huge factor of breaking up relationships with even the closest of friends, so that should be avoided at all costs. Tell them how you feel, and just talk about the situation privately for a while. If after this they haven't changed in the slightest, maybe that person just isn't the right partner for you.
wonderousJoy92
June 11th, 2017 2:23pm
Talk to your partner, see if you can understand what the reason is behind it. Communicate with each other. Try to understand your partners side of things.
OneStepFromTheSun
July 1st, 2017 7:38pm
Confront them about it. Ask what it is they are embarrassed of and ask what you can do about it. If it is something out of your control, you can explain to them exactly what the problem is. If you talk to them about it, they are likely to want to help you
Anonymous
July 2nd, 2017 9:36am
You can talk to them why he/she is feeling like that.and if he gave a genuine cause them you can work on that to improve yourself.
bubblyVision15
July 14th, 2017 6:57pm
You deserve unconditional love. Someone who truly loves you and deserves you. Try to talk to your partner what makes him/her embarrassed. Is it something you do, or its just their insecurity and complex nature? Its worthless to spend time with someone who doesnt share same feelings...
Anonymous
July 14th, 2017 9:00pm
The best thing you can do is talk to them about it. Ask them why they are embarassed of you. Try to understand where they are coming from and why it bothers them. Communication is key. If it something about you that you can't or don't want to change, however, you should know that you don't have to change it because of them.
Anonymous
September 9th, 2017 4:48pm
Talk to them about this situation, as it could be more so a reflection on their own insecurities that they haven't yet seen or accepted. Discuss how it makes you feel when they act as though their embarrassed of you based on the outcome of that discussion, maybe start evaluating the toxicity of that relationship on your overall well being as you would both deserve to be happy.
Kanga
October 19th, 2017 8:15pm
If they truely love and care about you, they will love you for who you are. Usually when people get 'embarrassed' by someone else it is because of their own insecurities. I would suggest talking to him or her about why they feel this way.
EmilyDennis
November 8th, 2017 11:41pm
you should talk to them, find out what it is that embarrasses them so you can maybe find a compromise
fantasticMusic40
November 15th, 2017 12:50pm
Ask them why and get to the bottom of it. If you are in a relationship you should understand how important communication is.
Anonymous
November 19th, 2017 1:33am
Be patient with them, perhaps they aren’t ready for people to know or, perhaps they aren’t very confident. You should try to sit them down and talk to them about, so you can understand exactly what is wrong.
kindHeart28
November 22nd, 2017 5:31am
Talk to your partner! Communication is key to a healthy relationship. If that dosent work, check out other areas of your relationship, is it healthy? Those who love you will love you for you.
incredibleHeart72
November 24th, 2017 2:20am
if the problem is upsetting to you then speak to them about what embarrasses them about you, if its something beyond your control then walk away. someone who wants to be with you will accept and support you regardless
Anonymous
December 6th, 2017 8:15am
Talk to him/her about it. Why do they feel so? Tell them it is unfair for you. Ask him, does he not accept you for who you are?
KongfuPanda
December 7th, 2017 3:08pm
Talk to him. Try to understand why he/she is feeling that way. It could be him/her, it could be you. But communication is the key.
allnaturalUnicorns70
December 8th, 2017 5:08pm
If you value someone's company, and that person feels embarrassed of you, I'd wonder why you still wanted to keep that person's company? Don't you deserve to be with someone who is proud to know you?
annpaints
December 23rd, 2017 3:52am
A loving relationship entails of mutual support and care. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is not willing to accept you for who you are, then that doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship! Understanding what they are uncomfortable with might help you decide whether it is good for you emotionally to stay in this relationship. Both sides will require work and communication to make sure that your affection is not put in the wrong place! Don't forget that you are always worthy of love. x
briaannasaurus
December 27th, 2017 4:57am
Talk to them about why they're embarrassed of you. Are they actually embarrassed or are you assuming they are? If they've verbally expressed that you're embarrassing to them, you should ask why. If it's something that's a big part of you, you should really question whether the relationship is worth changing yourself for. Change is always good but not when you do it out of hope that someone won't leave you for it.
wontonlover18
January 17th, 2018 9:36pm
If he or she is embarrassed of you, then just end the relationship. I had this kind of thing, where my ex could no tell his friends, or I could not tell my friends we were dating. I came to ask if he is embarrassed of me, but he keeps on denying it. But I knew inside that he was embarrassed of me. So yeah, just end the relationship. No couples should be embarrassed of each other.
plantwoman
February 8th, 2018 4:29am
Talk to them about why they are embarrassed of you. That is the best thing that you can do. Though is someone is embarrassed of you, you might want to reevaluate the relationship.
Anonymous
February 8th, 2018 8:27pm
Get rid of them. Everyone deserves someone who loves you for who you are, as cliche as this sounds its true. I learned the hard way. There are thousands of people out there who would be proud instead of embarrassed of you, guaranteed. We just have to love ourselves enough to go find it.
Anonymous
February 11th, 2018 5:56am
Your significant other should never be embarrassed of you for any reason. Find someone who shows you off.
thewolfstays
February 20th, 2018 1:03am
Talk to him/her , tell about your feelings and fear. It's better to know the problem in person then you can have a solution
KaraFootball
February 21st, 2018 1:05am
Bring this up to them. Ask them why? If they truly love and care for you, they will not be ashamed of you.