My parents don't listen to me, what should I do?

184 Answers
Last Updated: 08/03/2019 at 11:45pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Turkey
Moderated by

Caglagul Turhan, Msc

Art Therapist

I believe that being aware of who a person is, will help to make the life better. I help children, adolesences, adults and parents for understanding themselves

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous - Expert in Family Stress
October 26th, 2015 2:37pm
Well, the answer to this question depends on a lot of factors--right from your age to the culture you belong to. And most importantly, what are they not listening to you about? From my personal experience, more often than not, it is teenagers who have problems with their parents, so I am going to assume you are a teenager as well. Most parents don't listen to what their kids have got to say about matters because they fail to see that their child is growing up and is becoming more mature with each day that passes by. Probably the best way to tackle this is by keeping your cool. Remember that no matter how infuriating they can get, they are still your parents [and if you are a minor, they have considerable power over you] and you must ensure that you do not flip. Staying level headed helps you maintain your sanity and trying to convince them in a calm state of mind goes a long way in helping you prove your point. It will also make you sound far more superior than them when you are in zen mode despite the terse situation. If you want a detailed response that is specific to your situation, then you will have to describe your case in a little more detail.
victor - Expert in Family Stress
May 18th, 2016 9:44pm
Your parents knows best because, they are more experienced than you are. Children should listen to their parents and not the other way around.
Anonymous
April 27th, 2016 10:21pm
Express how much it hurts when they don't listen to you. Tell them you want to have a good relationship with them but you don't feel like you can do that if they aren't listening to you.
whitedancer69
March 23rd, 2016 9:25pm
sometimes parents think they no best and dont like hearing otherwize. remotley there is nothing you can do, besides trying to get them to hear you out
Anonymous
July 15th, 2016 12:07am
My mother can be dismissive and sometimes just ignore me. Like, on purpose. I found that talking to someone else can help. I have a therapist, and counselor that I talk to because my parents won't.
HerforU2580
October 23rd, 2014 1:23pm
parents sometimes feel they are in the right and dont listen but you need to state what you want and keep repeating it until the do hear you may take lots of work but it will in the end good luck sending a hug
Pandette
October 27th, 2014 3:25am
What are the methods you have tried in order to get your parents to listen to you? I feel like parents see themselves as authoritative figures and feel like they know what is best. From personal experience, when my parents would not listen to me (verbally), I took the time to write a letter to them and just let them read it for themselves. Turned out to help a lot!
Varna
November 16th, 2014 6:43pm
Explain it in a way they'll listen. It's not that they don't listen to you because they don't want to, it's just that they want you to take the right path always. If you're very sure what you want is right, explain it to them in a good way. :)
bthechange89
June 14th, 2015 5:18pm
I understand this feeling very well and I think it is a common feeling for people to have about their parents. It is my opinion that we absolutely need to be honest in all our relationships from family relationships to dating. If we hide or repress what we are feeling and thinking, the relationship has a strong tendency to become unhealthy for both sides or all sides. It is better I believe to be straightforward and honest than to repress your feelings and keep them inside. That said, you might think about finding a time to talk to mom and dad about your feelings: that you don't think they are listening to you. This gives them the opportunity to change their behavior. I would use what I call a sandwiching technique. You start the conversation off very nicely with something about how you love them and you need them to listen to what you have to say right now because it is really important to you. Then you tell them how you feel using "I feel" statements, which put people less on the defensive. So you might say "I feel like you do not listen to me because x, y, and z. And that makes me feel this way." Then wrap up the conversation by saying something about how you know they love you and you feel that them listening to you would be very meaningful.
Asparagus515
November 5th, 2014 1:05am
Have you tried to approach them about this? They might not even realize that they are ignoring the things you say. Your parents do have control over you but it's important to remember that you are your own person with your own individual needs. Good luck friend!
libby120398
October 4th, 2014 2:49pm
Ask to sit down with them and speak calmly, clearly and maturely, this way they'll be more open to listen to what you have to say and you will have each other's full attention.
MyaNK
August 13th, 2016 9:40pm
I would suggest to try writing them a letter (or an email), explaining everything you want to say. This means your thoughts will be well thought out, coherent and organized, and they have to take into account everything you have to say before responding. Also, this will make it less likely that the discussion will escalate into an argument.
disclousure
April 6th, 2016 2:00am
Maybe the way you're approaching them isn't as effective as it could be. It's easier done than said, but sitting them down and telling them how you feel in a mature way might show them you're worth listening to!
SparklingStarbuck
May 20th, 2016 9:29am
Parents are the creators of our world with tons of experience more than us, If they are doing something it has to be of some use for the kids. So firstly try to follow the path of your parents. In case you don't want to follow their path, prove them theoretically that you know what the right path for yourself is, if you are able to convince them with your thoughts, they will listen. Still if they do not listen, think about the worse case scenario of your path, what can be the worst result about your path, even after thinking of the worst case scenario of your path your are not afraid and convinced that this is the right path for you, GO AHEAD ON YOUR OWN and show the world. Wishing you all the best. May the joy be with you:-)!!!
incarnadinepetals
March 18th, 2016 9:49pm
You can try to sit down with them and talk with them. If that doesn't work, maybe write them a letter explaining how you feel!
Anonymous
March 17th, 2016 11:38pm
If you see that your parents don't listen to you, try taking a step back, calming down, and asking yourself some questions. What are you arguing about? Can you reach a compromise? I found that whenever I couldn't agree with my parents, it helped a lot.
Anonymous
March 24th, 2016 7:29pm
If your parents don't listen to you, think back at everything they have done for you in the past. When you got sick, when you had a bad day at school, when you won an award, when you played a sport... Believe it or not, your parents listen to you more than you realize. After I realized that, my mother and I became best friends. When I didn't feel like she listened, it actually wasn't that she wasn't listening, it was that she didn't understand the situation from my point of view. I encourage anyone who feels that their parents don't listen to them, to give them a chance and to look at it from their point of view.
Sophaye
October 31st, 2014 10:43am
You should try to connect with them in a different way. Maybe in a more compassionate way. Tell them how you're feeling, and it bothers you that they are not giving your their full attention.
Zohaash
March 18th, 2016 11:52pm
Try listening to your parents
AmykinzHereToHelp9402
April 13th, 2016 9:59pm
That can be tough and I know how that feels. I would sit down with them with no distractions e.g, phones, tvs, laptop etc and discuss how you really feel. It can be hard feeling like your not listened to or worthy. Say in depth how you feel and get some feedback from them too.
radiantFlamingo19
May 22nd, 2016 11:59am
Maybe they don't realize you have the need for them to listen to you. Start a conversation with "Hey mum/dad, I have this topic - do you have time to listen to me?". Maybe that works. If not, think about finding other people to listen to you.
MadisontheGemini1717
October 18th, 2014 8:06pm
Ask to talk to them about it and explain to them how you feel and why you feel this way. That way, they are aware of your feelings and fix the problem
redracer28
October 30th, 2014 8:52pm
You could try writing them a letter explaining how you feel and what you want to change about the relationship you have.
fayshel
November 12th, 2014 8:27am
i understand it may be hard, but try talking to close relative to talk to them for you, if you feel they wont listen to you at all, may be try talking to someone you think they listen to and he/she can be able to talk to them on your behalf. thanks
crixa
March 12th, 2015 12:37pm
Try to talk to them calmly. Always start with "i feel.." and express your concerns. Do not start arguments with them, always take the calm way.
Sweetcaring77
September 15th, 2015 12:48am
Spend time with your parents. Tell them everything you do in day. Do it everyday and try to convince them whatever you want
Anonymous
November 10th, 2015 4:23am
try explaining things to them more thoroughly and make them see your point of view and how you feel
Greatlistener87
March 17th, 2016 6:58am
Sit them down and tell them that you would need a few minutes of their time to listen to you. Then tell them what you want them to hear you say.
yungaloe99
March 18th, 2016 11:51pm
You should try to express how serious you are and how much it means to you. Maybe sit them down for a serious chat and tell them what is on your mind. Good luck!
aestheticmind
July 1st, 2016 9:02pm
Remember the way you were pampered in your childhood. Its your time to pamper them now to make them understand your perspective. With your age, they are also growing old. So its your responsibility to understand their childish mind and tell them warmly about what you wish for.