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How can I stop being jealous and insecure?

110 Answers
Last Updated: 08/06/2018 at 6:26am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Monique Thompson, LPC, LPC-S

Licensed Professional Counselor

I am in my 21st year as a psychotherapist. I have worked with over 3, 000 people over the course of my career.

Top Rated Answers
Peacefulmeditation
August 20th, 2015 5:21am
Acknowledging your emotions and thoughts is the first step. Next accept who you are and learn to be okay with yourself.
TwirlGirl90
August 27th, 2015 11:22am
Think of what you have and appreciate it. People can have things but you have to value what you have and shouldn't care about others in this way.
Dreamer2764
August 27th, 2015 11:31pm
Communicate with your partner. Try finding out why you get like this and find a solution. The more you talk about it, the more chance you'll get to find the root of the problem.
Tatzilla
August 29th, 2015 3:08am
Patience with oneself and knowing ones own worth. It won't go away completely but once you know you're worth a lot more than you thought you start relying on yourself and lessen your focus on others
Anonymous
September 3rd, 2015 2:19am
Be grateful for the things you do have :) Each day try being grateful for one thing that you usually take for granted. And then make it two, three, so on. The more you realize you have, the less worried you'll be about what you don't
cuddlySong88
September 3rd, 2015 10:57pm
Remember that you are unique and beautiful in your own way. You are like nobody else on the Earth, always remember you are loved by somebody, and you are never alone in your struggles.
PoliteOcean
September 4th, 2015 8:23pm
Its difficult to feel the feelings of jealous or insecurity. Its not easy to put up with or deal with depending on the situation. Perhaps talking with someone you trust or with a therapist or counselor will help you to sort out your feelings.
Anonymous
September 6th, 2015 9:47am
I think one way could be to pay more attention to the positive things that another person does for you. If you're see those positive things, you may feel more relaxed and less insecure.
adoredEnergy79
September 7th, 2015 2:27pm
Think about all the good attributes that you have, and try not to compare yourself to other people.
worthytalktime
September 10th, 2015 5:10pm
The feelings of jealousy and insecurity arise as a result of a low self concept. Know your real worth. The reality is everyone is much better than what people think of themselves. So, keep yourself above the reasons that annoy you. :)
Anonymous
September 10th, 2015 10:01pm
Well, first you've got to realize your feelings. If you're at the surface of your feelings, dig deeper to find the root of them.
Ephraim
September 12th, 2015 12:40pm
Personally, I think everyone has something unique and special in their own way. You are jealous and insecure when you look at what others have and outlook your own! Find that unique thing in you and let it shine! :-)
Anonymous
September 13th, 2015 12:59am
One of the things I'm jealous of is all the people who travel more often or been to more countries than me! I love to travel! And I don't want to hear about someone in Barcelona while I'm at home eating chips :), but then I think of all the things people like about me, and all the jealous just goes away :). Oh yeah, they think tall people are good huggers. they have never been to kenya, but I have. They think Thalia is a pretty cool name. things like that!
DayDreamerNightThinker11
September 13th, 2015 9:54pm
You are your own person and what you have been through has made you who you are today! Don't be embarrassed to be yourself because you shouldn't have to be anyone else. Be confident, Be unique and Be independent. Don't doubt yourself or be jealous of the lives of others because the life you are currently living, every second is as just as precious.
Emily619
September 16th, 2015 2:53am
You can stop being jealous and insecure by telling people how you feel. It may feel scary at first, but it is 100% worth it :)
caitlyn17
September 17th, 2015 4:04am
Everybody experiences jealously and insecurities in their life span, the key is to learn how to overcome them. Jealousy ties into insecurity, because you wouldn't be jealous if you were confident in yourself and/or your relationship. It is very hard to overcome insecurities, I know from personal experience. But you are unique, and you need to learn that your uniqueness makes you, you. Without your special features, you wouldn't stand out or be as special. Your weight, height, teeth, acne, freckles, dimples, eyes, nose and everything else makes you special. It represents you as a individual who sparks interest in other people, because you are different. Your personality is also key to this. You could be friendly, and kind, and those traits will just radiate to those around you, making you someone they want to spend time with. Just remember that next time you look in the mirror, you will see something unique that god intended for you to have, to share with others.
gentleBeauty54
September 17th, 2015 3:03pm
Know that you are worth something and that you don't have to compare yourself to any because you are a unique individual and you are worth alot!
Pr0Pancakes
September 18th, 2015 7:41am
Being jealous and insecure is a natural thing we do. Usually during these feelings we may have experienced something to make us feel this way. A great way to overcome these feelings are to talk to the person that may be causing this if possible or even compete in clubs or activities with friends to remove these feelings from your mind. Another thing you could do is take a few deep breaths and try to reanalyze the situation at a later point.
johnthefutureMSW
September 18th, 2015 7:12pm
Take some time to appreciate who you are and the beautiful things you love about yourself. Look in the mirror! No one can be like you, and that is awesome.
TigerLily26
September 19th, 2015 12:59pm
Look for fulfilment internally rather than seeking external validators such as other people's approval or other people's measures of success.
Timetolive
September 24th, 2015 1:07pm
Every person is special in his or her own way. You need to understand this by realizing what makes you special.
Anonymous
September 25th, 2015 8:36pm
1. When you feel Jealous, put yourself in the shoes of the person, you are jealous about. Would you like someone to appreciate you or feel jealous about you? 2. When you feel insecure, turn the focus on yourself again - list the best things about you, and be appreciative of yourself. Find things that you want to improve about yourself, and find ways to do it. Think of yourself as a work-in-progress If you constantly find yourself, feeling insecure, Take time to get to know yourself. This is an important, often uncomfortable, step. It can be done by becoming okay with quiet time alone with just yourself.
Anonymous
September 26th, 2015 2:22am
Know that you are here in this world for a purpose and you are supposed to work towards your goals.Everyone is not on the same path as you.Some may be better than you and you might be better than others.There is no need to compare yourself to anybody or get jealous about it
Anonymous
September 27th, 2015 4:36am
You can always look for your best qualities and the things that make you completely unique :) You don't need to be anyone else, just be you.
Anonymous
September 27th, 2015 11:56am
Stop thinking about what other people have, Think about yourself. Make a list of everything you like about you,
Anonymous
September 30th, 2015 8:50am
You can get help for being jelous and insecure with therapy, and learn what makes you feel this way and changing it
Anonymous
October 21st, 2015 10:25pm
Learn to trust and focus on making yourself feel better. Trust and confidence are tools for success.
Anonymous
October 22nd, 2015 4:22am
Try to focus on yourself. Forget those around you who you feel are doing better than you are. Unless you're using them as inspiration, focus on bettering yourself, and reaching a level where there is no need to feel jealousy. Insecurities are hard to eradicate, but accepting them and trying to turn them into a positive think goes a long way
Anonymous
October 22nd, 2015 2:45pm
By remembering that there are lots of people who are even more poor than our condition now. So, be thankful for what we have now, is I think the right answer
kindMoment44
October 22nd, 2015 7:53pm
Love yourself. You are amazing, and brilliant. Trust yourself and love yourself. Self love is important, and as humans we often look at the negative sides of ourselves, but we forget that it is human to make mistakes. As for being insecure, we can all be insecure sometimes, but what is making you jealous and insecure?