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Why do I sometimes enjoy feeling sad?

166 Answers
Last Updated: 06/10/2022 at 5:49am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Lauren Abasheva, LMHC

Licensed Professional Counselor

A sex positive, and kink knowledgeable therapist with an open mindset and a clear understanding that we are all different.

Top Rated Answers
November 8th, 2019 7:58am
I think that sometimes when we have felt sad for a long time it becomes kind of like the norm, it becomes comfortable and we know this place of sadness. Therefore when we are happy it feels like we have to stepped away from this safety net that we have, because happiness feels different or uncomfortable. So we try to get back to a place that we know- sadness. It doesn't have to be this way for ever though, you can feel happiness again, and you can enjoy this feeling. If you ever want to chat about it, I am always here for you. Best of luck
November 9th, 2019 3:16pm
I've found that the longer i feel sad or down for, the more comfortable it feels. The brain is reluctant when it comes to change because it can feel scary and overwhelming to deal with emotions and situations that it normally doesn't have to deal with. Enjoying your sad feelings is normal, and comes from familiarity rather than a toxic place. It is an emotion you understand and know how to function around, therefore making it seem more attractive than an emotion such as playfulness as it may not feel like something you know how to deal with. Remembering this can be very helpful when you feel as though you would rather be sad than happy.
November 13th, 2019 4:07am
Sadness is a normal human emotion. In some cultures (certainly Western culture which is where I come from), sadness can be considered a bad thing to feel--something to push aside and shy away from. But it's just an emotion and a totally natural one to have sometimes. For me, allowing myself the space to actually experience my sadness can be cathartic, can help me move through the emotions, can help me get in touch with myself, and even can be enjoyable sometimes similar to the way allowing myself to really feel other emotions can be enjoyable. I think it's also worth saying though that sometimes one can enjoy being sad because it's comfortable. I know I've had times where I'm so used to feeling sad, it's just easier than anything else and so I enjoy it for that reason.
December 29th, 2019 9:22pm
Enjoying feeling sad is normal. It’s sometimes better to sit and lie in your sadness then get up and be happy. Often, positive emotions are tiring and draining to always uphold so a negative one is a change. Also, sadness provides a sort of “get out of jail free card”, meaning we can feel bad for ourselves without any repercussions such as “I shouldn’t be feeling this”. It can also be a comfort emotion in a time of need. It allows us to think and stew in thought and can often be more relaxing than being happy. When you’re sad all the time though, all of these benefits disappear and it adopts a tiring aura.
February 7th, 2020 4:37pm
We humans have a wide variety of emotions; sadness has as important a role to play as any other. We also live in a society that frequently tries to distract us from our sadness. Sometimes giving ourselves permission to really experience it can feel liberating, like we're not holding it all inside for a while. Be it a personal reason, or a sad movie, it can be enjoyable to allow ourselves this release, and helps us return to a more whole, human experience. It can also help us understand ourselves better, or distract from a different emotion or situation we find ourselves in.
February 8th, 2020 10:14am
I know exactly how you feel! It's so strange, but - for me, I think what happened was that I got so used to being sad that I was starting to somewhat enjoy it. Like, I was so deep in sadness I just wanted to stay sad and liked it that way. Sometimes I also enjoy being sad just because it's a peaceful mood and helps me be creative. Maybe you enjoy it because there's some aspect of sadness that you like, or because you've gotten used to it. Or maybe your sadness fits a mood or event, like if it's raining, and it feels right. OR maybe you enjoy it sometimes because you had already been sad without knowing it and it felt good to finally let the sadness out.
February 16th, 2020 10:31pm
The enjoyment of feeling sad is a very strange emotion. This is similar to the "Nostalgia" feeling. I like to call it the "vibing" mood. During this time, you might listen to really relaxing music or maybe cry. You are not feeling like doing anything or talking. You enjoy it because sadness is an emotion that we don't usually face all the time until we have to. So when you face it yourself, it isn't as bad as it is when you are actually really sad. You have a lot of deep thought and a new self awareness when you feel like this, and that is something a lot of people have trouble finding sometimes.
February 21st, 2020 4:58am
For me at least, it’s because it’s comfortable. When you’ve been sad for a while, I at least begin to feel comfortable that way and almost like I can’t be happy or any other emotion without feeling uncomfortable or like something is entirely wrong. In short, you might just have gotten used to the sadness if you’ve been sad for quite a while already. That doesn’t mean you should stay sad you should do things you enjoy and that make you happy even if the feelings feel uncomfortable at first. I really hope this makes sense, it does to me at least but I’m not sure if it does for others too.
April 5th, 2020 11:49pm
It's great to understand our feelings. Sadness is one of the four ''main'' human emotions. The others are happiness, fear and anger, but it can be odd though to enjoy feeling sad, but it can be soothing at the same time, the more you grief or feel sad about something, the more you feel close to it and makes you feel that you gave it what it deserves from your emotions. There were hundreds of masterpieces like especially in drama movies that had sad endings, because sad and drama endings subconsciously have deeper meaning. That's also why the most movies you'll learn from or feel very attached to are Drama ones. Actually, sometimes it creates pleasant sensation and makes us
April 10th, 2020 11:51pm
Sometimes, if you’ve bottled your emotions or just have an overwhelming amount of emotions to deal with, feeling sad feels like a release because you get to accept and let go of your feelings. It’s perfectly normal to enjoy that release, but it might be a sign that you need to feel that release more often. Create a time and a space for yourself so you can have privacy or support when you release your emotions, and remember that you are only human, so feeling sad is ok from time to time! Cry when you need to, it helps you manage your emotions and feel that release.
May 6th, 2020 4:23pm
The human experience encompasses all feelings: seeking to maintain an eternally positive, optimistic outlook is not something that we are naturally predisposed to do. In life, we run the gamut of emotions; to feel that sadness is an emotion that should be shied away from, or suppressed, doesn't chime with what our emotions serve to do for us: to express difficult feelings and to release tensional hormones. One other aspect of appreciating feelings of sadness and sorrow is that we learn to appreciate joy and blissfulness much more fully. Yet another, is that being able to sit comfortably with difficult feelings is a driver of creating empathy and compassion.
May 28th, 2020 8:13am
All feelings are essentially what make us feel alive. The opposite of depression is not joy or happiness, it is vitality. So anything that makes us feel alive can feel exhilerating. Sadness is a very raw and accessible emotion, and is usually connected to some feeling of connection, tenderness or perhaps loss of something cherished. Sometimes we feel sad and don't know why, but the feeling can still be enjoyable because it reminds us that we are sentient and alive. This is why people with depression often do not describe feeling sad; they describe feeling "numb" or "empty". As humans we have access to a full range of emotions, and it is only by feeling all of them that we can realise ourselves and our potential. A student of mine once expressed it really beautifully when he said "when I am with my dog, I feel happy and sad at the same time. I am happy because I love him so much, but sad because I know that he will die one day". Another student said that music made him feel happy and sad at the same time, because it hits the chords of several emotions at once. Art enlivens the soul, and only a truly living soul is capable of great sadness.
June 3rd, 2020 6:46am
I do not understand any other emotions so I feel being sad is the only emotion I can understand and that is how I cope up. And since, there are no coping mechanisms I enjoy whatever emotions I feel. And that is probably why I enjoy whatever emotions which I am feeling at the moment which is primarily being sad since that is the commonest emotion on the horizon right now for most of us at the moment. So enjoy what we are feeling and come to terms with it and learn to live with it till we can change it or improve our situation.
June 17th, 2020 5:21pm
It's true that sometimes we enjoy feeling sad. I myself have been through this. There are different reasons for this too. It might be getting someone's attention, punishing ourselves, finding satisfaction in sadness etc. It's hard to even accept ourselves that we are enjoying this. But if we are going through this, we should accept and understand that it will only have destructive consequences. It can become an addiction. Have self control and overcome this guilty pleasure before it's too late. Admire yourself, try to find happiness in small things around you and tell yourself that you're worth more than this!
June 25th, 2020 12:21pm
All feelings are an important part of our life. Feeling sad is an emotion that is important for us to feel to cope up with our daily life challenges. It can lead to the development of better coping strategies such as solution-focused coping. In some cases where the situation upsetting is in the individual's control, i.e. it can be changed by the individual, it may also act as a motivator to help and do actions to manage the situation in a positive manner. Is that how you're feeling? You may connect using the link below to talk more about. Thank you.
July 1st, 2020 1:19pm
It is completely normal to enjoy feeling sad sometimes, but of course, like anything else, moderation is key. Letting yourself listen to beautiful sad songs and cry is completely okay, but it is self-destructive to encourage sadness for too long. We may sometimes enjoy feeling sad because it is comforting in certain ways. We are raw, emotional, and vulnerable, things that we may hide in the day-to-day. Some people tend to get more creative when sad because they are allowing pent up emotions to flow out of them. It could also be because of intense mood swings, when we reach periods of feeling super happy and on top of the world, only for it to come down shortly thereafter. These ups and downs can be strangely exciting sometimes, but they aren't healthy for a long period of time. To anyone facing this, they should try to foster balance in their life and emotions. Engage in self reflection, self-care and comfort, and creativity when you don't feel sad. Hopefully this will help you feel more fulfilled in your everyday life.
July 15th, 2020 1:01pm
The behavioural activation model suggests that negative life events such as grief, trauma, daily stressors, or a genetic predisposition to depression can lead to a person having too little positive reinforcement. Additionally, a person might turn to unhealthy behaviours--drug use, sleeping late into the afternoon, social withdrawal, etc.--in an attempt to avoid the negative feelings. These behaviours provide temporary relief, but ultimately result in more negative outcomes, and worsening depression. When using behavioural activation, a clinician intervenes in two primary ways: They increase the amount of positive reinforcement a person experiences, and they end negative behaviour patterns that cause depression to worsen. Replacing negative avoidant behaviours with new rewarding behaviours increases a person's positive reinforcement and reduces negative reinforcement.
August 2nd, 2020 7:09am
Sometimes I enjoy feeling sad because I think that my emotions are my brains warning signals about what is going on. When I start to feel sad, I view that as a new text from my brain that says 'something isn't right here. can we talk?'. While it can be great to be happy all the time, it is difficult to remove yourself from bad situations if you never feel sad. Feelings of sadness invokes the need to reflect on my current situation and my wants and needs. I am then able to decide what is going on in a situation that hurts me, and decide what to do about it. I do not like being sad all the time, because that is just the opposite of being happy all the time; if we feel every situation must be bad for us, there is no reflection on the good things. I think sadness is a tool to improve my life.
August 13th, 2020 3:14pm
The reason you are sometimes enoying feeling sad can vary from person to person I believe that for most pepole its remembering and reminding your self things you went throw in the past. it reminds you of old memories and old times that you liked, and which remembering them brings you great joy but also a sad feeling for their loss. after all, we all have hard periods in our life and that's a thing we all have in common, so reminding our selfs of good old times when we feel abit down can cause a feeling of joy and sadness.
September 10th, 2020 10:43pm
It can feel good to wallow in your own sadness. It's sometimes seemingly safer or more familiar and comforting than trying to be happy. sometimes you think you deserve to feel bad. sometimes you just need to be sad for a little, and it feels good to have release. there are lots of possible reasons. I try and remember that it's productive and healthy to let myself feel what I am feeling, and that being in touch with my emotions is good. But, you can also get stuck in a cycle of sadness and pessimism. The most important thing that i've tried to internalize is that you aren't crazy for wanting to/liking feeling sad. It's completely normal and okay to feel that way.
October 9th, 2020 4:49pm
I've had this feeling as well, it may be your mind trying to cope, could you explain specifically why you might feel sad? It may be how you are trying to accept what you are going through. You may also be experiencing different coping mechanisms and trying to see which mechanism you are comfortable with, are you still okay with speaking to me as your listener? Or do you think maybe you would do better or be more comfortable with another listener, you may leave me a review or end the chat when ever you feel comfortable or you may stay with me.
October 13th, 2020 8:12pm
Sadness is a feeling that everyone has at one point or another. I recommend watching the cartoon movie Inside Out this movie is a perfect example of why we need sadness in out life even though it is technically a negative emotion. It is good to cry and be sad sometimes, it shows that we are human.
November 14th, 2020 4:00am
I have felt the way you are feeling now. Especially when you have been struggling with mental illnesses for years, sadness becomes normal, a state of mind that you're comfortable with. I know that I struggled with knowing who I truly was without depression: character traits I thought I had turned out to just be symptoms of depression, like apathy and shyness. It's scary not knowing who you really are, and it's easy to find yourself craving the life you once had, even when you know it's harmful in the long run. See a professional who can help you overcome this: you can get better without craving the sadness any longer!
November 19th, 2020 7:20am
Because feeling sad make us aware that how happiness is worthy. And make us see behind , how many happy moments we have wasted. Being sad is sometimes a break for us to look at our journey till now to regain energy and comeback. Change our perception for world and better choose our companions , because that is time which reveals about true or false friends. I enjoy being sad because it helps me get rid of fake companions and consideration. this time always give me a chance to look at my weaknesses and strengths. I really enjoy being sad .
December 13th, 2020 4:31pm
Coming from personal experience, enjoying feeling sad can be more common than you think. There can be various answers for that, you may feel like you deserve that pain, or you may feel like you need others to see you’re feeling a certain emotion. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying being sad, however, if that lasts a long time, it can bring you bigger consequences, such as low self esteem and mental illnesses. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, hope I was able to help.
January 10th, 2021 5:00pm
Maybe you like to feel your feelings. For example in the grieving process, people sometimes do not like to feel at first, but over time when they process their feelings, they will be able to have emotions, instead of being stuck, or unable to cry, they can finally cry again, and let go. Do you feel like letting go? I can imagine it can be nice to have been through the process and finally let go. It is the end of the process, what people work towards too. So, it can be a good thing! Also, having all your feelings is good. A cry, or feeling sadness can be a relief, or a sign of simply being able to feel feelings.
January 24th, 2021 7:55pm
Feeling sad can show you the downside on life so when you find the upside its worth all the work you put in to get there. Sadness shows you that there is further to fall and always more steps to climb. It gives a better understanding on the world and how we work. No one wants to put in a bunch of work to hit a one time peak. If you are blind to life's mysteries an wonders you wont see there is beauty in the darkness and light. You have to walk through hell and get a little lost sometimes in order to find your way. Feeling sad is enjoyable on occasion because the light can be blinding to the truth.
January 27th, 2021 7:23pm
Sometimes we can take comfort in sadness. Especially if feeling sad is a familiar emotion for us, or if it reminds us of a meaningful period in our lives, the feeling of sadness or experience of sadness in our lives can feel comforting. It can even feel familiar or nostalgic. Some people engage in self care when they are sad, for instance, they may write in a journal or go on long walks. Self care can sometimes be enjoyable. Sadness also allows us to experience a side of ourselves we are frequently expected to hide, and there can be freedom in that, in allowing yourself to feel sad. Thus, there are many reasons you may sometimes enjoy feeling sad.
February 25th, 2021 2:30pm
Even though it may seem strange at first, sadness can be quite addictive actually. Simply, sadness may give us the attention we actually need, we may reflect during sadness as well. another cause of enjoying sadness may be because of depression, humans generally like things their used too, same reason people who have often been in bad relationships will stay in those relationships, people with depression are used to, well, the depression. this may cause you to see the sadness as something normal, and therefore not be perceived as bad necessarily. for now, that's all i know about this question.
March 5th, 2021 6:01am
Because may be feeling sad, lets you be in your comfort space, you don't have to pretend being someone else, being happy for no reason. Sometimes being sad, is a great thing, you can appreciate the happy days and also understand life. Life is a roller coaster, if you just get prepared for the highs, the lows will destroy you. Enjoying feeling sad, is appreciating one's own self and this beautiful yet uncontrollable life. Feeling sad can also come from not being able to do things we wish to, or just plain no reason to be sad, but great desire to stay in bed and darkness the whole day, I feel it's completely normal to have such days like once or twice in a month. It helps us get proper rest and lets us understand our own emotions well.