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Why am I so shy around big crowds, but when I'm with one friend than I'm fine?

271 Answers
Last Updated: 12/17/2020 at 7:47pm
Why am I so shy around big crowds, but when I'm with one friend than I'm fine?
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Top Rated Answers
September 22nd, 2016 4:48pm
It's called social anxiety, you feel maybe intimidated or scared that the people there are watching you or judging you
September 25th, 2016 1:45am
I'm guessing social anxiety. Or maybe you happen to be more comfortable with one person, rather then more.
September 25th, 2016 9:03pm
Could be social anxiety or perhaps you could also be introverted. There's a lot of different reasons for your situation.
September 29th, 2016 12:19pm
It sounds like social anxiety. With just the one person, you likely aren't scared of doing something or saying something wrong. In a bigger crowd, you may fear disappointing someone easier since there's more people to disappoint.
September 30th, 2016 6:31am
Maybe because you feel anxious. It is tough to have everyone stare at you, people can be very hard to others, and it is a very common experience to not feel good enough for a majority.
October 5th, 2016 3:23am
You might have some social anxiety. When you have a friend with you, you feel more comfortable because you have someone to trust.
October 12th, 2016 5:14pm
one on one is a lot easier than big crowds, that's just a fact. if it's a friend that you're close with you feel comfortable and safe, but with but crowds of people you might not know/know as well, that's pretty scary for most people.
October 16th, 2016 11:32pm
A lot of people just are that way for a lot of different reasons. Some have social anxiety or autistic, and it changes from person to person
October 20th, 2016 6:29pm
Everyone is, nothing out of the "ordinary".
October 20th, 2016 9:20pm
You could be feeling this because in big crowds, you don't know them all personally and may/may not get along with all of them. Unlike your friend, you might be shy because it's overwhelming and new, and with your friend you feel more comfortable maybe because you know your friend, and it's something you've done before.
October 23rd, 2016 12:51pm
Maybe you feel more safe around one person since the environment is much more under your control. You might as well feel like there are more people judging you and your behaviour in a crowd, rather with just one friend.
October 23rd, 2016 8:23pm
You're comfortable with this one person so you're confident and you be yourself. When you are in a large crowd, however, you are worried that whatever you say might not be funny or someone will judge you and you are afraid of that.
October 26th, 2016 3:12pm
Realise all the fears u have within yourself and daily work for yourself by speaking in front of the mirror and have confidence in yourself whatever you say.don't think there is a crowd and you have to speak everything perfectly close your eyes and take long breathe and think that you're here to gain experience here.:)
October 29th, 2016 4:33pm
you're just introverted! many, many other people are too! it's okay to only be comfortable around a small number of people :).
November 4th, 2016 6:19pm
Seems like you're introverted, there's nothing wrong with that. You would much rather have a few close friends than a large group of people around you. Chances are that you are a deep person you enjoys meaningful connections to a small group who matter to you.
November 5th, 2016 7:30am
Chances are, you have more of an introvert type personality! Large groups can be scary because you may not know who is all in the group and they tend to get very loud. One-on-one encounters are more private and intimate. There's not a bunch of unpredictable people, there's one person you trust and (usually) like being around. Take it easy and try not to get too overwhelmed with the amount of people. Good luck!
November 5th, 2016 10:49am
Crowds can be intimidating, and it takes time to get used to them and being comfortable around them. Just like you may have been shy around a new friend but opened up as time passed, crowds can be opened up to if you give it enough time!
November 9th, 2016 8:51am
It may be because you're more comfortable with personal and meaningful conversations with a friend, rather than an impersonal and formal conversation with a large group of people.
November 9th, 2016 1:14pm
it can be very overwhelming to be in crowds when you're by yourself. having another person with you just gives you courage and doesn't make you feel so alone, someone to be yourself around is always good when you're in a crowded place - you won't feel so anxious!
November 9th, 2016 7:04pm
That one friend makes you grounded, in that moment. You have a familiar face, friend, feeling. Big crowds can be frightening and unexpected. With the friend, the friend makes you feel safe.
November 11th, 2016 6:18pm
Because you're out of your comfort zone. There's not familiar elements around you and that makes you feel uncomfortable and shy.
November 12th, 2016 4:51am
Maybe its the feeling of not knowing every single person in that crowd! Or even feeling Intimidated, worried or unaware of everything thats going on around you. There could be an event or something that triggered this but it could simply be the Idea of adaptation or something environmental!
November 12th, 2016 6:35am
Based on my personal experience, I feel more comfortable with people that I know well and feel less judged around them. In big crowds, it can often be overwhelming as there are often people you don't know and are not as comfortable around.
November 12th, 2016 12:27pm
Perhaps you aren't confident on your own, as if your friend is your safety blanket who could help deal with unfamiliar situations.
December 2nd, 2016 1:07am
Personally I find it daunting to speak in groups. Everyone is looking at you and you start to fear that they're secretly judging you. When you speak with one person, it's less pressure to try and make good impressions with many people at once , and you tend to feel more comfortable talking one-on-one cos it's just one person you are giving your attention to and vice versa, as opposed to a ton of people in one space. Hope this makes sense :)
December 2nd, 2016 3:21am
Some people appear shy around big crowds, and appear fine with one friend. You may be one of those people. Do you think there is something questionable about that kind of personality? If you could change a part about that in yourself, would you, and how would you change it? Shyness is a form of fear; in other words, you may feel unsafe in large crowds emotionally or otherwise, in which case your brain tries to protect you by raising these emotional signals that cause you to be uncomfortable - and that's natural! You're the only one who can tell yourself why you do something and how you feel about it, and you're the only one who can really tell you whether that's okay for you or not. If not, you have the power to create new patterns to live by.
December 8th, 2016 9:52pm
It is about who you feel comfortable with. It feels natural to be with your friend rather than being in front of a large crowd. So you're okay being in that situation but are shy when there are more people around.
December 16th, 2016 5:20pm
You may have a social anxiety (fear of large crowds). With one friend, you only have to concentrate on that friend. In large crowds, you don't know who is watching your movements or paying attention to what you say. You might try conquering that fear by having one friend stick by you while you are in large crowds. They can be supportive and reassuring.
December 23rd, 2016 9:58pm
It could be the case that you are more introverted than you are extroverted - more inclined to feel comfortable in situations that do not involve many people. The good news is, introversion is not a disease or disorder - it's simply a personality trait. The not so good news is that in western cultures, such as US culture, introversion tends not to be as highly regarded as extroversion. But, this in no way should suggest that being more introverted is "wrong" - it is simply a different way of being, and if one is more comfortable, less shy, spending time in smaller groups or with one person at a time, so be it, I say. The introverted among us have lots to offer - in some ways, even more so than the extroverted.
January 15th, 2017 3:13pm
A very probable reason could be that you're an introvert. An introvert draws energy from within as opposed to an extrovert which draws energy from the environment. Big crowds tend to draw a huge amount of energy from an introvert, which therefore could be a reason why you tend to avoid them and be shy around them. On the other hand, a single friend isn't as energy-draining, plus he/she is someone more familiar to the introvert, therefore the outcome would be much more positively inclined.