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Why am I so shy around big crowds, but when I'm with one friend than I'm fine?

271 Answers
Last Updated: 12/17/2020 at 7:47pm
Why am I so shy around big crowds, but when I'm with one friend than I'm fine?
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Top Rated Answers
November 25th, 2017 6:12am
When you are around big crowds, you often tend to be more shy because you feel as if you are open for full judgement. But when you're with your friends, you don't care because you know you can be yourself.
November 27th, 2017 2:19pm
When you are around you friends, you know they accept you as who you are, when you are around a big crowd with people you don't know, you are scared you'll do something that they may not like and think different of you.
December 6th, 2017 3:43pm
You do have to make yourself comfortable like you do with your friend because you don't think what your friend will think of you, in the same way you shouldn't think of people around you what they think of you.
December 6th, 2017 5:43pm
this sounds like a symptom of social anxiety. Social anxiety is when you are scared to be around people so being around a lot at once can be a lot to handle
December 7th, 2017 11:03am
Because it depends on the people themselves. If it was a big bunch of your friends that you are close to you will be alright. But that's a big crowd of people that you superficially know. So you feel shy and you uncomfortable. But when you are with one friend you feel close to and your relationship is good and strong it's natural that you are fine. It all depends on the relationship itself
December 23rd, 2017 2:44pm
With friends you feel like they know enough about you and you about them, that you can feel comfortable hanging out together. But with strangers / big crowds, there's an overwhelming sense of unfamiliarity that may be causing unease. You're probably shy because neither party knows what the other is like and are afraid you may offend someone by saying the wrong thing, or someone else may lash out for no reason. There may be other reasons for the discomfort, like a past experience of being picked on by a group of kids could have something to do with it as well. Locating the source of the discomfort is the first step to gain more confidence in being around other people.
January 4th, 2018 8:13pm
I'm not an expert so I could be wrong but based on personal experience, when I am around people a lot of my time is spent thinking what everyone thinks about me. Being around only one sort of eases the pressure a bit. It could be because you are an introvert and being around large groups of people gives you social anxiety. Don't worry, you are not alone with this! There are many people going through the same thing as you and I think with time, although it might not be all gone, you may feel a bit more comfortable around large groups.
January 12th, 2018 12:42pm
Perhaps you are comfortable with one friend and it is less overwhelming than when faced with a large crowd. It can take a bit longer to adjust to a bigger crowd if you are a more introverted person.
January 12th, 2018 8:30pm
I have social anxiety disorder (diagnosed as a child, in treatment and on medication as an adult) and I feel the same way. If you're with a friend, you are with someone who you trust and who likely won't judge you. A common fear in social anxiety (and shyness in general) is the fear of being judged or embarrassed. When you are around big crowds you may feel that there are more people to judge you or for you to embarrass yourself in front of. Try to remember that not everyone is going to judge you negatively and if you do embarrass yourself, not everyone is going to remember, or even notice.
January 14th, 2018 6:46am
Social anxiety is a very common form of anxiety that causes people to feel uneasy in certain settings that have many people. You are not alone in this feeling. I have also experienced a lot of fear in the past when i struggled (and still do) with social anxiety. Trying some different anxiety coping techniques (like grounding and deep breathing) can help with combating some of these feelings. Talking out some of your feelings may also help you to identify the steps you can take to overcome these feelings as well.
January 20th, 2018 9:07pm
It may be because that person is your comfort friend. If you feel nervous or panicked, that person is usually the one to calm you down and hear you out. It's a great thing you have one of them!
January 30th, 2018 6:57am
It's being called in introvertšŸ˜Š I am and have always been an introvert. I love people so so much don't get me wrong but sometimes big crowds or even hanging out with people for too long will make me anxious. Find the root problems as to why you get shy in crowds. The best thing that has help me with being shy is starting not to care what others think and focus on myself!
January 31st, 2018 4:06pm
That makes a lot of sense - a lot of people have that kind of problem. Around large crowds, we feel like we have to fit in and it makes us really shy, and we're afraid - kind of a form of social anxiety. With one friend, we're comfortable as we know they won't judge you and it's just one friend. These feelings are very normal.
January 31st, 2018 11:28pm
This is very normal, many people find themselves feeling the same. Being on your own in places that make us feel uncomfortable can be really overwhelming, especially if we dont have someone to turn to. Sometimes by having our friends there, it can distract us. We tend to overthink and get distressed when we are alone with no distractions
February 2nd, 2018 5:19pm
The reason for such feeling changes for everyone. There are as many reasons as there are people on this world. It also depends on what kind of crowd we are talking about. I always feel the need to satisfy my listeners, so when theres a whole group of people - even ones I know! - I have to keep in mind what each of them likes and dislikes, and it makes me uncomfortable and lose my chain of thought. When theres one person, I can focus on this one and only friend and his 'triggers'. I shouldnt think that way. I should remember that no matter what I do, theres always going to be someone who wont agree with me and someone who will. I shouldnt focus on making people feel bad, but I also shouldnt make myself feel cornered ad blocked like this for no reason. True friends will understand that my opinion is dfferend and I didnt try to make them feel bad.
February 4th, 2018 5:18am
That is normal. You probably have not done much practice with public speaking. When you are with a big crowd, you feel somehow you need to present yourself, when instead it is often better to just be yourself.
February 7th, 2018 3:39pm
Being with a friend or someone you know, you will feel more comfortable in situations that would normally cause anxiety
February 9th, 2018 8:16pm
You already know your friend really well and you can trust him/her. In big crowds are just strangers and you may feel insecure.
February 12th, 2018 1:39am
You may be suffering from social anxiety and there are many ways to cope with this! I too suffer from this.
February 13th, 2018 1:21am
You may be shy because you are concerned about the possibility that someone may judge you. With your friend you do not have that concern.
February 15th, 2018 5:44am
I feel you are comfortable around your friend because you got to know them personally, but crowds can be filled with strangers, or people you probably don't know very well. It can be overwhelming!
February 16th, 2018 12:53am
Maybe because you're socially anxious around others. Lots of people are like that and have social anxiety.
February 16th, 2018 6:45am
It just indicates that your confidence level is lil bit low and you need to work on it. You must be thinking in your head that they must be talking about you or the way you walk and they must be making fun of you .. Etc etc but you need to boost up confidence level by trying to speak in front of mirror everyday for atleast 15 minutes which will help you to gain confidence and it would be helpful in other places too! I know this world is full of monsters behind friendly places but.. You need to face them alone and if anyone will ever try to harm you.. You just kick them hard and show them you middle finger and proceed walking!
February 16th, 2018 3:14pm
Often when we are in large groups, the environment can be overwhelming. Social anxieties are amplified within larger groups, especially of those who we don't know very well. If you find things easier around good friends, perhaps go to places together, to try and help ease into the group.
February 16th, 2018 4:45pm
Social anxiety. I have the same problem. When you are around many people you feel like all of their eyes are on you but when you are around one person you might feel like it is less judgement.
February 22nd, 2018 8:50am
Sometimes the thought of everyone's attention turning on you can create an overwhelming feeling and cause you to get anxious. I have this issue too!
February 24th, 2018 4:48pm
Sometimes it can be intimiditatong or even overwhelming to be in the presence of more than one to a few people. People are unpredictable, and the more you have the more potential for unpredictability there could be.
March 1st, 2018 5:10pm
Maybe you will be comfortable with that one friend you are with. You may be going through social anxiety which is when you feel uncomfortable around a lot of people
March 4th, 2018 2:08am
You may be shy around big crowds but when you're with friends you don't face much challenges socially because around big crowds you might not be familiar with what is going on or the setting you're in to feel comfortable to open up, and this is why you end up hide away from a larger group of people,whereas compared to when you are with friends, it's a more familiar setting because you may have meet them before somewhere and gained trust in them which leads it to become more comfortable and supportive for you to not be so shy to speak up.
March 7th, 2018 2:44pm
Being shy in big crowds while still feeling fine with your friend is okay. It may be because your friend is someone who you trust and you're not afraid to be authentic/expressive around her.