Why am I so shy around big crowds, but when I'm with one friend than I'm fine?
304 Answers
Last Updated: 05/25/2022 at 9:01pm
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Top Rated Answers
Social anxiety. I have the same problem. When you are around many people you feel like all of their eyes are on you but when you are around one person you might feel like it is less judgement.
Sometimes the thought of everyone's attention turning on you can create an overwhelming feeling and cause you to get anxious. I have this issue too!
Anonymous
February 24th, 2018 4:48pm
Sometimes it can be intimiditatong or even overwhelming to be in the presence of more than one to a few people. People are unpredictable, and the more you have the more potential for unpredictability there could be.
Anonymous
March 1st, 2018 5:10pm
Maybe you will be comfortable with that one friend you are with. You may be going through social anxiety which is when you feel uncomfortable around a lot of people
Anonymous
March 4th, 2018 2:08am
You may be shy around big crowds but when you're with friends you don't face much challenges socially because around big crowds you might not be familiar with what is going on or the setting you're in to feel comfortable to open up, and this is why you end up hide away from a larger group of people,whereas compared to when you are with friends, it's a more familiar setting because you may have meet them before somewhere and gained trust in them which leads it to become more comfortable and supportive for you to not be so shy to speak up.
Anonymous
March 7th, 2018 2:44pm
Being shy in big crowds while still feeling fine with your friend is okay. It may be because your friend is someone who you trust and you're not afraid to be authentic/expressive around her.
You may have social anxiety. Since you know the one friend well, you're fine with them. But lots of people, then the anxiety sets in.
Anonymous
March 8th, 2018 4:23pm
Sometimes we feel comfortable with the person we are used to but it is hard when we meet others as we tend to worry how they may judge us
This sounds exactly like me. big crowds make me want to shrivel up into a ball. But with my friends I’m perfectly fine singing and dancing. I think it’s social anxiety. Which means that in big crowds or with people you’re not familiar with you start to panic almost. You freeze up and can’t think of anything to say.
You're shy because you don't know who is in the crowd, you fear that they may judge you. You're fine with your friend because you know they like you and already accept you for who you are.
Anonymous
March 28th, 2018 4:07pm
Some people prefer small crowds and some other people prefer big crowds. Everyone is different, there's nothing wrong with that.
Anonymous
April 5th, 2018 10:51pm
Some people just feel better when the things are private and it is okay to feel that way because when we are in a crowded place we have to be more careful about our words and attitude. However, some people have concerns about what others might think. When I find myself in this situation I tell myself that everyone has something to think about their own lives, so probably they don’t think about me and even if they do, I do nothing wrong, I’m just fine.
Based on my personal experience, being around a person that you know and trust gives you confidence to be yourself. When I am around big crowds I get shy because I feel overwhelmed and self conscious about how I look or what I am doing.
A crowd is a sea of many faces and minds. A friend is a known entity who can be compartmentalized. Basically, you're feeling a lack of control and a fear of the unknown.
In my own experience, i took it for social anxiety—and there may be an element of that happening in me or in you. But, i eventually discovered i was introverted. I’ve always been talkative so no one—including myself—caught it! Literally, I’m unable to focus when i try to engage in small talk, or in a group setting. My ears stop being able to pick out words in the conversation. Chit-chat irks me, too, so i ‘tune out.’ I’m my best one in one or in very small groups, only. And I’m even better when i get enough alone time! Perhaps this may be a part of what you’re experiencing too?
With a friend, you feel comforted and protected. Unlike when you are alone or around big crowds. That's what listeners are for, comfort.
I feel the same way and I always seem serious or uninterested in meetings where I don't know many people, but it's mostly cause I just can't relax or even make eye contact. I believe this is because I'm very self-conscious of myself and we can't fully interact with all, while with one person, I'm still self-conscious but it's either you or he-she talking and you can ask questions, make comments about anything or redeem yourself about misinterpretation easier than with many eyes on you.
Anonymous
April 12th, 2018 2:30pm
Coming from experience, you feel that other people will judge you. But with a friend, you trust that she/he accepts you for you and that does not worry you. So you are open and free to her.
Introverts are shy they cant open up easily with strangers initially, once the initial clumsiness is done with, it becomes easy for them to interact smoothly
Anonymous
April 13th, 2018 9:15am
Big crowds can be scary. Your friends contain some familiarity so you can get comfortable. In a group of people you are not sure with, you are not very comfortable. It's not a bad thing, it's perfectly fine to be shy.
Anonymous
April 14th, 2018 11:41am
Being in large crowds tend to give people anxiety when around strangers and people you don't know, being with friends gives people comfort and warmth!
I feel the same way! Sometimes it may be easier to express ourselves with an "audience of one" than with a bigger group because we can better judge how that one friend will react. It is a completely normal feeling but personally I have benefited from exposing myself to bigger crowds (in baby steps!) and it has helped my social anxiety a lot.
Anonymous
April 21st, 2018 8:46pm
Because you may not know if they will judge you. I do not talk in big groups only one on one. And that is okay
It can be much easier to "read" one person, both in body language and in verbal tone, in order to feel comfortable with them and make a connection with an individual. Large crowds, however, do not have a singular individuality to connect with and thus can be more intimidating, but remember that they are made up of individuals just like you and relating to or with them can be exactly the same as to one person to help ease your stress level.
Big crowds usually make people more nervous because there are so many people versus just one person. In addition you know your friend very well meanwhile a big crowd is full of strangers, who people are usually less comfortable with.
This could be social anxiety it's where your really awkward when your in big groups of people I recommend you talk to someone about this x
You may have an introvert personality type. The more you practice overcoming your shyness by meeting with larger groups, you will feel desensitised the anxiety that holds you back
Anonymous
May 4th, 2018 7:51am
Usually when you are around strangers you feel scared as you don't know them but feel fine with a friend because you know you can trust them with anything.
Anonymous
May 9th, 2018 9:35pm
Honestly at least I know for me it's because I feel like they are judging every move I make and I can't explain myself. But when I am with one friend I can focus on them and I feel like I have more support.
It may sound like you have a co-dependent anxiety, when alone and around large groups of people, you feel as if the walls are closing in and worried that you're being eyed down by everyone. When you have that friend it takes away all that anxiety because you're not doing something alone and not feeling singled out, you have that presence of support. Does this sound Viable to you ?
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