There could be so many ways to look at this. But first, I want to say that it's fantastic that you’ve tried so hard, effort in itself is commendable, and it’s an incredibly valuable trait and skill that many struggle with. Good job and you’ve done well on that aspect:) don’t ever let go of that spirit!
One reason could be high expectations we set ourselves, perhaps from external pressures, or simply because we don’t see (or willingly ignore) the many many times other people “fail”. I myself struggled with this for ages—I didn’t realise that I took the quote “do it once, do it right” quite literally (not that I actually did that, but that became an expectation) until a teacher pointed out that I was a perfectionist years ago. And despite that, old habit dies hard, it’s still frustrating when I feel like I couldn’t meet the standard I set for myself (standards that actually require tons of practice to meet) every time even when I put in 110% effort. And sometimes, even the “reasonable” standards others set for me. Because well, everyone has their own paths to walk, and my weakness might just be everyone else’s strength.
What helps, is realising that it’s unreasonable to expect “success” every time we engage with a task. “Success” generally requires: 1. a good understanding of the task (e.g. knowing what’s the scope of an exam/what a company wants in an applicant) 2. the right strategy (e.g. a study method that works for you; having a well-crafted resume/prepared for possible interview questions) 3. Practice + effort over time!
And most importantly, understanding that each “failure” is not a failure, but a step closer to our goals. Because we can learn something from EVERY experience. This is not me simply saying “to “look on the bright side of things”, but really, every experience is valuable even if it’s not what we wanted/expected. I personally learnt more about my career preference after a long summer internship that “failed” because I was miserable all the time—I now have 1 more thing to look out for the next application round; I learned about weaknesses in my understanding of a subject after (literally) failing its exam many times—I then gave more time to that subject and made sure to consult my teachers; I learned about the extent and power of my resilience after “failing” on so many levels battling with mental health—I’m now more ready for the next fight if it happens again. You see where I’m going with this?:) So don’t be so hard on yourself, you are actually making small progresses. Small, but not insignificant.
A word of caution is that learning these doesn’t mean you’ll “succeed” the very next time (remember time+practice?), but it’ll definitely take you closer to unleashing your full potential, and your ultimate goal!
Lastly, I’m not sure under what context you asked this question, but please remember that not achieving something doesn’t define you as a person. These are simply trips/falls/barriers in the long journey ahead!
I’ll stop here bcos it’s a wall of text already:p but all the best!! xxoo, Amber