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Why do I always fail even when I try my hardest?

211 Answers
Last Updated: 12/09/2020 at 10:50pm
Why do I always fail even when I try my hardest?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Hisham Tawfik, M.S.W.


Counseling and psychological services are my passion more than my work, It is all about love, and love is the only real value.

Top Rated Answers
May 3rd, 2018 2:59am
Failing is nothing to be shy because every time you fail you learn a valuable lesson which you cannot learn if you win.Don't forget even the most successful and famous people i the world have failed miserably at least once in their life time.Its just what we hear and see is only their success stories not stories about their failure.So we start to believe we need to be successful in our first attempt.For example do you know how many times did the America's greatest inventor Thomas Alva Edison has failed when he invent light bulb? 1000 unsuccessful times to be exact.When a reporter asked, "How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?" Edison replied, "I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps." So the failure is in accepting that you have failed and giving up on it.what is need to be done is learning lessons from failures and finding new ways to do your task and keep going till you become successful.Good luck :)
May 3rd, 2018 6:44pm
Don’t think of it as failing think of it as another step to a great success ..think of what you did well rather than how you failed
May 5th, 2018 9:54pm
Maybe you are giving yourself goals that are to big to be achieved the way you want. I'm pretty sure you can achieve things and that you're not always failing. Set small goals, take one step at a time and stay safe!
May 10th, 2018 7:33am
It's not a bad thing to fail. Sometimes failure teaches us lessons in life and helps us to be wise. You may have tried your hardest, but you can try again until you succeed.
June 13th, 2018 7:59am
failing is part of life. failure makes us stronger. i've failed more times than i can count but i got better and was successful. understand that you're failing not just cause your trying too much but because you're learning you can't always be successful and win them all. but learn failure helps you more then being successful because it teaches you.
June 15th, 2018 7:41pm
Its not about the quantity of time you spend on something its about the quality. Maybe change your study method and do short intervals
June 21st, 2018 12:57am
I would challenge several words in that question. First of all, do you always fail? Using such a definitive word is a sign of a distorted thought. (Distorted thoughts are ones that do not really line up with reality and are fairly common.) For example, I am sure there was ONE time you did not fail. This is black and white thinking. However, some times you will fail even when you try your hardest. That is okay. It is the trying that matters.
June 21st, 2018 1:54am
Sometimes it happens, to say "always" doesn't seem accurate. Maybe try setting different goals or tasks that are more realistic to accomplish for you. everyone is good at something, sometimes you have to keep searching for that something.
June 27th, 2018 2:44am
It is normal. Nothing of our own faults, sometimes we fall sometimes we rise, what's important is to realize that we tried our best so there was nothing we had ever lacked in for. You're enough
June 27th, 2018 6:56pm
There are certain things we are naturally good at, and there are things that we have to work a little harder to achieve. Just because you fail at something does not mean you will never succeed in it. Your strength of character is determined by your resilience. That being said, it is just as important to work smart. Be strategic and set clear, achievable goals. Be realistic enough to know what you are currently capable of, and optimistic enough to understand that you can build on it to achieve whatever it is you want. The most successful people in the world are usually the ones who fail a hundred times, but stand up a hundred and one times. You're no different. You've got this!
July 7th, 2018 5:01pm
Sometimes things don’t workout the way we want them to. This may be very discouraging but remember that this is just another experience that you can learn from that will increase your wisdom and will strengthen you. just keep pushing and working towards what you love cause this may just be another obstacle worth overcoming!
July 8th, 2018 3:28am
People are not perfect, so it's hard to get it right all the time. Start to notice and celebrate the small victories!
July 16th, 2018 7:49pm
I promise you, you don’t. This is something that is all in your head. Your a smart, amazing human who many people can’t live without.
July 22nd, 2018 7:28pm
I feel that my personal experience regarding failure is that it is when I've failed and failed again and feel as though failure is all I'm able to achieve that I truly learn in that moment that failure is a life lesson for us to grow personally. Each time I fail I learn about that experience and learn new ways of overcoming it so that next time I'm better equipped with how to deal with it, even if I fail again, there is no failure in trying. Sometimes failing can teach us a lot about ourselves, I try to view it that failure is necessary to grow
July 25th, 2018 2:50pm
Always believe in yourself. Keep motivating yourself everyday in order to achieve it. Don't let anything negative get through your mind.
July 26th, 2018 12:34am
Because falling is a part of life and learning experiences. They always happen no matter how hard you try since you cannot definitely control the outcome.
July 26th, 2018 6:00pm
Maybe you lack motivation so even when you’re trying you know that you don’t need want to do it, or it’s just not something you’re good at. Some people aren’t good at writing at all but are amazing at woodwork or product design. You just need to find things that you are good at
July 27th, 2018 5:08am
i honor your feelings- all feelings are valid. i know i feel that way sometimes so i empathize. But no-one can fail all the time! Just like no-one can succeed all the time... When i feel this way, i try to: - think about or write list of all the things that i did well today- it can be as small as making it out of bed to trying your hardest today even though you might feel like aren't a success. -i find that i minimize the things that i did well and focus on the things that i feel i "failed." But what is a failure if not a learning experience. i know that sounds cliche- but when you have failure-tinted glasses on then one only sees failure.... and that is simply not true! Another thing that may help is making your goals more realistic, taking smaller steps, or taking a break when over-whelmed by thoughts of failure. Just the fact that you reached out and asked this question makes you a success my friend. Be kind to yourself. You are precious. #biglove
July 28th, 2018 6:30pm
I am not sure why you try very hard in life, but yet "fall" or things happen. Sometimes it's just things we do and don't see it. Or the people we hand around with. Our choices maybe. It is very different for everyone on this. I like to share, continue doing your best in life, chin up! Also forgive yourself when you fall as you brush yourself off and start again
July 29th, 2018 3:35am
Every single day, you are a human, and just like many people you make mistakes. But you also make victories, few, or small, they are important to recognize. Reminding yourself of the small good deeds you do will help you move forward, to make you a more optamistic person! Rememeber to reward yourself for making the right decision, that will encourage you to do it again! Keep moving forward, and dont give up. I believe in you!
August 2nd, 2018 3:00am
When you start a project or anything you put your all but at the same time you believe you will fail which in return makes you criticise everything that you do which brings failure.
August 2nd, 2018 11:44am
We all view ourselves through judging eyes, for we are our on worst critics. If you could steal a snapshot of yourself through someone else's eyes, you might be surprised by how successful you really are.
August 25th, 2018 3:23am
You may not always fail even if it seems like it, if you aren’t getting to your goal, don’t put yourself down, just keep practicing and one day it’ll show and then you’ll see that all your work was worth it in the end. Everyone struggles with things more than others, but that doesn’t make us failures, that makes up people who have a longer and more interesting path ahead of us. Keep your mind clear, and your hopes up. I know you can do it! All you have to do is believe in yourself and things will eventually start to turn around for you.
September 3rd, 2018 7:39am
I’m glad you asked me this question. Personally, i have experienced this type of situation so many times, especially in school. Failing can be a hard setting to go through, but it shouldn’t negatively affect us, especially if we tried our hardest. Trying your hardest is always important, but if you fail just remember, failing opens a door to a new lesson on how to do better. Trying your hardest is effective if you know how to do it in a healthy way. Stressing to succeed usually increases your chance of failing. If you spend more time relaxing, planning and pacing your plans, it will surely increase your chance of succeeding. Don’t let this bring you down. You will have a long road of accomplishments later on!
September 21st, 2018 5:30pm
Success depends to a great extend on how comfortable we feel in our own skin, how much self-esteem we have and consequently with what thought we approach a task, whether with the thought I can or I will fai. The strong desire to accomplish something successfully can increase the rate of failure. It also causes pressure and thus anxiety. The harder we try the more anxious we become. Accepting failure as part of the learning process is crucial also lower expectations or if necessary try something where the success rate is higher. The drive for perfection can lead to fail. We are human and human are not perfect.
September 28th, 2018 1:43pm
Not everyone succeeds and those who don't, they don't fail they only learn. I personally didn't make it through many things but it doesn't mean I didn't learn, in fact I learnt better and I am sure you can too. Just have some faith and you will reach your goals! I wished to get the best grades and had high hopes too and so did my parents but unfortunately I got just average but its fine I learnt and so yeah.
September 28th, 2018 7:23pm
It is not true, you do not always fail, you just do not pay attention at when you succeed. Failing is not always a bad thing, it means learning and growing everyday, having more experience. Try to focus on the good side of it. Trying your hardest is challenging and if you do not always reach your goal that does not mean that you sre not smart or worth it. Taking it as a challenge would be the right choice and you will get your results. You do many successful things everyday, you do not notice them because you are used to them :)
October 7th, 2018 1:53pm
I find that, to make yourself comfortable and when listening to your breath, let it be natural rather than controlling it, as you start enjoying relaxing and listening to the in and out breath your body will automatically relax and make you feel still and in the moment, the present moment. In this moment there might be thoughts that are from your day, let them pass by and don't feel tense about them. Yourself is maybe just letting you be aware of what is happening. Maybe in that moment you can nurture yourself if you choose and let yourself know that you are loved and very much cared.
October 17th, 2018 12:50am
First of all let's define "failure". Does failing mean achieving lower than your expectations? If so, your anxiety is completly valid. Preforming below your expectations can be extremely hard to accept. When you study for a test and fail, it feels pretty finite. It feels like that test defines you. Especially if you're used to doing well. But the reality of life is this- success is not a tidy line slowly increasing in height horizontally. Our successes and failures are part of a larger picture. Just because you "failed" today- doesn't mean you are a failure. Step back and look at your growth as a whole. Take a moment to realize how hard you worked! And understand that an A+ Doesn't mean you are perfect. And a F doesn't mean you are a failure. Grades and trophies do not define you. It is the effort and grind behind your actions that make you who you are! I know that sounds like bull**** but honestly it is 100% true. I have a hard time looking at the bigger picture too. But remember. Your experiences and achievement do not define you. All of that is just context. You are extraordinary and beautiful and worthy of the chance to accomplish everything you dream of. ❤️
October 17th, 2018 12:53am
Everyone has failed or will fail at some point in their life. It just happens but its how u react to failure that's important. If every time u fail it takes u 3 days to get going again well then that's 3 opportunities that u just threw away. This can be a depressing thought but it can also be a huge help. There's this quote and it says I'm thankful for my struggles for without them I wouldn't have stumbled across my strength. And if u think about it that so true. We find out how strong we are when we are tried. If everything was easy we would have no idea what we were capable of and u feel like that's a big deal. And that quote has helped me so much bc like how true. Whothout everything I went through how would I ever know that I could and it boosted my confidence and it helps me the next time something doesnt go right or I fail I remember that it's making me better.