Why do I always think my girlfriend is cheating?
287 Answers
Last Updated: 11/27/2023 at 4:15pm
Moderated by
Stacy Overton, PhD.
Counselor
I am an enthusiastic life-long learner and also a professor of counseling. I have a passion for peoples stories and helping to guide and empower the human spirit.
Top Rated Answers
Maybe trust has been an issue for you in the past. Or, you are feeling insecure and lacking self confidence. Maybe you are letting you mind tell stories and you need techniques to avoid that trap. maybe you have had bad experiences in the past. You need focus on positive thoughts, clear communication with your girlfriend and practice mindfulness when the thoughts get carried away.
Sometimes we think our girlfriend/boyfriend is cheating because we don't feel secure in the relationship.it can be caused by the lack of commnication and trust.Talking can really help cure any uncertainty you have.
Maybe because you aren't happy with the relationship. Maybe you are cheating , or maybe you have a instinct and feel something that's truly happening. You need to talk it over with your girlfriend just be honest.
Anonymous
April 5th, 2018 5:32pm
If there isn't really a past incident which you can link it to, it might be a reflection of your self-esteem, that you're worried you're not good enough? It might help to talk to her about it - if you told her that you were worried about whether she'd be loyal to you because you can get quite self-doubtful, obviously not straight off that you suspect that she's cheating on you! Hope that helps.
Mostly this is a sign of great attachement and that you really care! It is however also a sign that you have some unresolved trust issues with her. I'd advice you to talk to her about how you feel and carefully bring over your concerns.
There could be many reasons if you have been in a relationship before where a they have chest you may just be worried it might happen again. However they may be acting differently or showing signs of them cheating or not showing enough interest in the relationship.
There are several reasons for this. One could be that you've possibly cheated on her in the past and in turn, you're worried she'll do the same. The other could be that you've been cheated on in the past and have trust issues.
Anonymous
April 26th, 2018 4:01pm
Past experiences can lead to paranoia in future relationships. It's about learning to trust and remembering that not everybody is the same.
hm...why do you think this? have you experienced a significant amount of betrayal in your own past? it does not have to have happened within a romantic context. it has been said that history is a good teacher, and as humans we often use the past a reference for predicting the future. you may have come to expect that people will abuse the trust you have placed in them. examine your own motives for thinking that this may be the case. talk to people you trust about the situation. it could just be anxiety on your part. the alternative of course, is that something in her behavior stuck out to you, and that maybe she is. if thats the case, it likely is more related to her own issues than anything else
Well, if she seems secretive. Like she protects her phone, you notice certain things that you find odd. You ask what’s she’s doing and doesn’t want to tell you. But wants to know all you do. She just might be hiding embarrassing girl stuff. Maybe pornography to be honest. Thinks she might feel embarrassed about. Don’t sweat it, ask and communicate.
This could be due to previous negative experiences causing paranoia and insecurities. It is very common in first relationships and those where people have been betrayed. try talking to her about it and explain the situation to try and overcome this barrier.
Anonymous
June 13th, 2018 2:50am
Has she done anything to make you feel this way? If not then I would say that you just have trust issues. It is perfectly fine to have these thoughts, as long as you are not accusing her of doing something that she has never given you a reason to think. Talk to her about the fact you find it difficult to trust and she may surprise you with a way to help over come it. This problem if between you and your girlfriend.
Anonymous
June 22nd, 2018 9:29pm
This typically happens when people see themselves as inferior to their significant other; they think themselves not to be good enough to be loved, and following that idea, may consider that the other person may be certainly cheating on them.
But, realistically, consider whether you have any evidence of any potential cheating - too often, it is all on our heads, and that alone!
Anonymous
June 24th, 2018 9:56pm
That is a great question to explore. Trust is the foundation of any relationship. I wonder if it would help to identify some times you start to think she is cheating? Is it something that causes you to think that? It could be fear, a fear of losing her or an expectation to lose someone you love. It is best to explore those feelings, jot down in a journal when you feel that way and see if there is a realistic correlation to your feelings or not. You might see a pattern that emerges in your journal.
Anonymous
June 28th, 2018 9:59am
because you dont trust her, that's the only reason. you think like that. increase your bonding and make her more comfortable.
Anonymous
July 15th, 2018 10:25am
Question your beliefs, question your thoughts. Probably because it's either true, or your not confident in yourself.
Maybe this is some insecurity on your behalf. Do you maybe not trust her because you do not trust yourself? Have you been cheated on before?
Talking from personal experience, it sounds like you are insecure about yourself. Do you have a good relationship with yourself? Do you like who you are? If not, working on yourself might be necessary. If you're not insecure, it could be that you have had bad experiences with previous partners. Have you been cheated on? Lied to? Abused? Maybe you're in the mindset that your girlfriend is going to betray you because everyone else has. Has your girlfriend actually given you a reason to believe that she's cheating? If not, then it's important you work on your level of trust with her, otherwise you will drive yourself crazy thinking she's cheating.
Anonymous
July 19th, 2018 10:34am
You are confused. You think you aren't enough for her. I had that fear too, my boyfriend is too handsome. I thought I am really ugly and he can easily get anyone. But now I am proud of me. I think I am so pretty. I know he loves me truly. And he loves only me.
This has to do with trust, maybe you’ve had bad experiences in the past or maybe you are protective
Anonymous
July 20th, 2018 8:21am
Communication is the key to success. If you never express it in words, how are they supposed to know?
If your girlfriend shows signs of cheating, maybe you should confront her in a calm way and talk to her about it and maybe request that she is honest and open about her actaions so no one is emotionally hurt.
I had the same issue and always assumed my girlfriend was cheating! In a relationship - trust is a very important part of keeping a healthy and stable relationship! If you feel like your girlfriend might be cheating on you, consider speaking to her about how you feel!
What we think arises from our feelings and experiences - if we have been hurt or cheated on in the past then we feel like there's a chance of it happening again. Or alternatively if we have low self-esteem or feel our partner is better than us then we convince ourselves that they'd seek someone "better". But in both these cases it is important to recognise that these are all our OWN thoughts - not the thoughts of our partner, and the past does not predict the future. Your thoughts and feelings are valid, but that does not mean they are true.
Anonymous
August 12th, 2018 8:21pm
You might be paranoid or have no trust you should really seek help with this, let her help you trust again
Anonymous
August 17th, 2018 11:12pm
Is it because you are not trustworthy yourself and you apply that to your GF? Do you distrust other people around you and is this problem bigger than just this relationship? Are you just thinking about her cheating or do you think also about her lying to you or her not loving you? Is it possible you have a fear of abandonment and you are just wired to question her commitment to you? More important is what you do with these questions I think. If you make the descision to trust her, are you able to stick with it? Because most people sometimes question the people around them. what counts is what you do with the answers. Are you able to let it go? Are you able to stay realistic and not overpowerd by your fears and thoughts?
Anonymous
September 2nd, 2018 5:00am
Thinking your girlfriend is cheating is often a sign of insecurity in a relationship. You should talk through your worries with her and try to work out the problems that led you to believe she was cheating. You could always start with “We need to talk..†or another “clicheâ€, and they’re cliches because they work. Try not to bring it up when you’re angry or acting irrationally because it could cause you to jump to conclusions or say things you normally wouldn’t. Discuss it with a clear head and make sure to convey your emotions and feelings. Good luck, and hopefully you work things out! :)
Anonymous
September 9th, 2018 10:32am
Sometimes we get a little self conscious about ourselves and project it on other people. We may think we're not enough for the person we love but we still want them around so we may try to anticipate things that my equate to them breaking up or leaving. Like one time, when I was younger, I had this best friend who I loved to death. However, whenever she went to hang out with other people I got mad and accused her of not wanted to be my friend and I she wants to be with them so bad then just leave me alone. In the end, we ended up staying friends but I realised the errors of my ways and the projection of my own fears on her. The best thing to do is just talk to your girlfriend and hopefully not lash out. Especially if she's innocent.
Anonymous
September 9th, 2018 9:58pm
This could be down to a variety of different reasons but ultimately a big reason for this would be a lack of trust in your relationship. Think about whether she's ever done anything to make that trust break between you? You could try and discuss it with her and ask her what she thinks. It's unhealthy to always be paranoid or scared for your partner- it's best that you confront the problem face on as it could be a simple miscommunication or mistake that you've just misinterpreted. Long term distrust can leave a lasting wound on a relationship if not fixed.
Perhaps this is a form of nervousness or anxiety. You could ask her to discuss these subjects in a non-judgemental manner and share your concerns. It is most likely that this is in your mind, and she is not cheating. But it is best to have a strong communication within your relationship. Wether it’s over the phone or in person, it is best to let her know that you are not assuming anything, but you have had a few thoughts that she may be with another person. If she becomes angry or upset with you, try to empathise with her and understand that you still appreciate her and are just concerned for your relationship.
Related Questions: Why do I always think my girlfriend is cheating?
How do I get over feeling that everyone is going to leave me?Everything in my life is messed up. Motivation works temporarily and I'm not suicidal but feel it's pointless to live like this. What should I do to feel hopeful? How can I get what I need from my doctor? I feel extremely sick whenever I leave my house, what can I do? I have trouble with my school work due to procrastinating. And my anxiety always gets in the way. How do I get things done?A family member thinks I am lying about where I am going but I'm not, what should I do?How do I know if I did the right thing?Is it hard to think critically about something you love?How do I overcome the fear of cashiers?How can I convince myself that my friends don't hate me? I have this irrational fear that they actually hate me.