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How can I stop thinking about my ex?

234 Answers
Last Updated: 12/15/2021 at 9:55pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Canada
Moderated by

Kajsa Futrell, RTC

Counselor

I specialise in respectfully helping people navigate their way through trauma and relationship issues. The adversities in our life can actually transform us.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
January 23rd, 2021 5:18am
It's very common to miss the person we were with . It might feel really hard to stop thinking about them in the beginning but it will get better and easier with time . Try to meet new people , explore the hobby list , make time to hangout with friends and dear ones , don't redo the things u did with your ex , try to observe what you exactly feel and think , built a stronger inner connection with self . If possible to speak about your ex with your near ones so that you can get the emotions out of your system and it helps you to feel light.
honeycut15
February 10th, 2021 5:11am
Focus on you. To stop thinking about your ex, love yourself. Self love is important. You don't have to jump into a new relationship with someone else but moving on and having a fresh start is also helpful. Your ex obviously influenced your life and now that your not together you may need to adjust to things w/o him. But you will eventually get over him by maintaining your happiness and being the best you. Try to not think about what you guys had or the thing you guys did whether good or bad. Just try your hardest to continue thinking positive things and bringing only positive energy into your life.
AdaptableAmber11
February 10th, 2021 8:19am
It begins with reframing the negative thinking surrounding the breakup and filling your time; easing the anxiety, with new positive activities. Begin by filling your time with things you seemingly did not have time for while dating this person. Often a simple pro/con list is a good place to start and you can add to it as you become more positive towards the break. Journaling along the way is a powerful tool in tracking your own progress. It is often suggested to make sure you are not overthinking or using social media as a tool to keep track of your ex and really focus on your own healing.
Anonymous
February 10th, 2021 6:17pm
It can be difficult to stop thinking about someone who had an intimate role in your life. After a relationship ends, there is often a period of adjustment, and while it can be a trying time, that same time also represents an excellent opportunity for inspiration, change, and eventually, growth. That time can be used to refocus on yourself and your interests. You may find more free-time on your hands because of no longer spending time with a partner. With that new-found time, you can commit to a self-care routine, volunteer or give back to the community in ways that you find meaningful, or spend more time with family and friends. Doing any of these can naturally take your mind off of your ex.
Pikkle
February 18th, 2021 7:43pm
By keeping you busy with works it can be any types of work like if you like reading books then try to read a lot( cover as many pages as possible) or if you like playing chess that's also a good idea and of course if you have affection to any work which will keep you busy and at the same time give you pleasure, take a chance. Gradually, it will diminish all of your thoughts about your ex. I think those who are extrovert this not a big deal for them cause they got a lot of people to talk to but if you are introvert I will tell you to list all of your old friends, well-acquainted, now if it is possible to be there with them physically then it good if it is not possible then talk to them over the phone. You also can visit new places as you can go to a museum which I guess will consume enough time to not get any thoughts of your ex.
Anonymous
February 23rd, 2021 6:36am
Try to focus on different things. Finding a new hobby or developing a new skill would be a positive thing. Or try to get yourself busy, go out with your friends and have a good time. If that doesn't help, try listing things you did not appreciate about your ex, that would make you realize why you broke up and why the break up is actually beneficial for you. I know it is hard to stop yourself from thinking about a certain matter, but if you push yourself, then you can do it because you would realize how beneficial it was for you and how it helped you.
Anonymous
March 3rd, 2021 7:55am
Don't force them out of your mind, this is still thinking about them, and can make you dwell on them even longer. Instead, surround yourself with the people you care about and know have your best interest, this is family, friends, pets or anyone else you feel may help with this. Take up new hobbies, try out new things, or get back in touch with what you used to enjoy doing, whether that's doing art, reading a book, learning new information, exercising, anything that you enjoy. Slowly, over time, this person will distance from your mind and you will feel that release from them that was originally pulling you towards them. If it is needed, try block them on social media in order to not see them very often so they are no longer a trigger.
Anonymous
March 20th, 2021 6:24am
Try to think that you have better stuff to do rather than think about them, even if they were the sweetest person to ever exist just think about other stuff. Distract yourself by doing the things you love most, for example, go ride a rollercoaster with your friends or watch videos of your favorite topic. Remember that it's all in the past now anyways so there's no point thinking about it now. Cut off contact with your ex and forget they ever existed and make new friends, either online or In real life. Realize that now you don't have to worry about hurting them anymore and try to take care of yourself more.
Hylenia
March 27th, 2021 11:40am
When it comes to an Ex it is better to think about yourself and less about the other person that was in the relationship. As Rafikki from the Lion king said "the Past can hurt, but you can either run from it or Learn from it." Personally when it came to my old relationships I chose to learn from it. As you wake up in the morning tell yourself you ARE worth it, you CAN do this, and please for your own sake Choose to learn from the experience because no matter who you are you only have one life to live. Make it count.
Anonymous
April 11th, 2021 1:33am
Short Answer: Think until you feel it's enough. Long Answer: The ex is part of your life. It is okay to think about the ex as long as it does not trouble you a lot. Find a comfortable place if you would think about your ex. Analyse your time with the ex and learn as much as you can. This is your book of life. Of course you will think about the ex. You two separated for some reason. That was the best you could do at that time. Make most of it so that next time when you think about your ex, you know when to stop because you had accepted things in that relationship and moved on.
Anonymous
April 11th, 2021 7:11pm
One good way to stop thinking about your ex is to focus on yourself. Find new hobbies, exercise, spend family time and be with your friends. Sometimes, you just need to erase the messages, delete the number and move on. You don’t have to forget who that person was to you: You just have to accept that… they aren’t that person anymore. Take however long you need to move on, and talk to someone you trust about what happened and how you feel. Express any type of feelings you are experiencing and let it all out in order to be at peace with yourself.
janathebian
April 15th, 2021 12:50pm
it is hard at first to forget people that we made dreams and memories with but everything comes to an end and the idea of forgetting is hard for us to do, that's why jn this case time is the healer. After sometime you won't forget him completely but you will forget the bad feeling that comes to you when you where remembering him in the past and that's the best thing. you will eventually start forgeting his appearance or voice that's where you start forgeting your ex and remembering yourself. plus try thinking about the bad things that happened and you will forget him/her😊
ElenaMoralesLMHC
April 16th, 2021 1:33am
Think of your love life as a journey. Once filed with pit-stops. Now, you may feel that the goal is the destination, i.e. to fall so deeply in love, you have found YOUR person. That is SUCH an intimate choice, isn't it? YOU have found YOUR person. But what if they didn't find theirs? Ouch. I know that can hurt. To have your future (and certainty) ripped away from you. Not cool. So what to do? How can we continue on the journey of finding love? Well, first, I recommend this: OWN IT. In order to start to experience relief and tolerate your new situation (not in the preferred relationships with said person) you must get as logical as possible. We tend to operate with two types of minds. Logical and emotional. TO be able to “think” clearly, we have to upSHIFT into the logical state. Why does it make sense to NOT be in a committed relationship with your ex at this moment? What values of yours can you anchor yourself into in order to do what’s MOST right for you? If you don’t know what’s most right, then ask yourself, sincerely, what’s most important? To be able to navigate life on your own terms independently, or having to rely on someone outside yourself to make you feel happy and whole? Your values make up a large portion of that wholeness. I encourage you to explore them, narrow them down to your top 3, and explore them even DEEPER. PLAY with the words you come up with. Check out alternate words for the initial ones you resonate with in a thesaurus. OWN those words and commit to value based living and rediscover who YOU truly are, what you stand for, and what you want your life to be about. Chances are, you don’t want it to be about loss, insignificance, and sadness.
Jerome28
June 3rd, 2021 2:02pm
Reflect on your goals, and how you want to self-actualize. Think about how you achieved your past goals, recall how good it felt to reach them. Become the person you want to be more fully, make the kinds of changes that promote your health and well-being, that advance your highest interests. When we become the best person we can be, we embark on a journey of creative exploration and application. We find amazing inner fulfillment. We develop strong ability to be self-driven and self-sufficient, in a healthy way. And too, we become a better person which our next partner will appreciate even more.
Positivevibes2000
June 6th, 2021 6:52pm
Love yourself first. It's hard not impossible. When you start loving yourself the way you did him, it will be easier to forget him. He will still cross your mind but you're not gonna obsess about him anymore. Work on your hobbies. Spend more time with your family and friends. Work on your self-development. You can try meditation and exercise. It's really helpful. Just remember people won't give you closures most of the time. They will leave without any explanation and that's totally okay. Just draw your own conclusions and let them go. They didn't deserve to be on your mind.
Ukiyothepeace
July 23rd, 2021 4:24pm
You can never STOP your thoughts about someone or something. The human mind doesn't function that way. The process of stopping is not healthy either. You can distract yourself with work and other activities but these thoughts would find their way back. Thus it's best to give yourself time to heal and accept. Don't stop thinking about them let it flow. Let yourself hurt before you understand that it is part of growth. Either emotionally or character wise. Meanwhile you can share your experience with others who are experiencing a similar situations and you will see how these patterns are evident in almost every person's life.
Anonymous
August 5th, 2021 4:48pm
One of the most effective methods to quit thinking about someone is to divert that energy into something new. Dig deep and use your emotional connection to that someone to motivate you, whether you're writing a book, inventing a new app, or finally launching that new company plan you've been dreaming about. It's possible that it will take you to your goal. Allowing oneself to feel the emotions connected with a breakup or estrangement with another person is critical. We must constantly acknowledge our emotions and, if required, grieve in a healthy and safe manner. Then we should start letting things go, which means getting on with our lives and pursuing our goals. You may realise that you have nothing left to feel or replay in your head once you've allowed yourself to truly feel everything.
Anonymous
August 6th, 2021 4:04am
Ex's are a hard thing to forget, relationships have a big impact on life, spending some alone time with yourself or your close friends/family will make a big change. Focusing on you and putting yourself first also helps, treat yourself to something nice or take a day doing what you love. Keep your head up and now your self-worth, it helps more then you think and can catch peoples eye/attention. You can do this. If you really want to/need to then reach out and contact them, it might go well. Do what's best for you and your happiness/mental health.
sweetbam24
September 24th, 2021 5:09pm
This question is rather a tough one. I have recently gone through a breakup and me and my ex had a very impactful relationship. I was dumped on Valentine's day and I felt so much resentment and hate towards my ex. However, I began to realize that whatever is meant for you, It is meant for you. You cannot force anything to work, no matter how hard you try. I stopped thinking about my ex by reminding myself why it did not work out and why we are not together. I realized that what I was missing was not who he was, but how we were together and how I was with him. I can't say that moving on is easy, but it is possible. Your ex is probably partying and drinking and having the best time of his life, while you are crying for him and missing him. Missing an ex is normal and valid, but one day, you will wake up and realize that you are better off without them. You deserve the world and you've got this!
friendlyComfort7875
September 30th, 2021 4:00pm
It will be difficult to begin with but it will get better with time. Accepting that it's over is the first thing. You can get yourself involved in other activities to keep your mind busy. Do things you love. Hang out with family and friends. Talk about your past relationship or your ex if you want to, don't keep it in. But please avoid comparing your ex with anyone who shows interest in you or even talk about your ex in their presence. Savour every moment you spend with loved ones or even with yourself, enjoying life. Make lots of memories so that, whenever you are tempted to look back to what you shared with your ex, you will rather look on how well you are lately. Also do volunteering jobs. Help others, you'll find much joy in that. Go on strolls. Take yourself out. Go out with your friends. Have fun. Sing and dance. Take care of yourself. Put on make up and fancy clothes for no reason. Prevent spending much time on social media and spend them on yourself or other websites like 7 cups😊 instead. Social media will just make you depressed and longing for your ex or a partner.
Amy890
October 23rd, 2021 6:44pm
Make a list of all the positive but also the negative sides of your ex and also the negative sides of the past relationship. It will help you stick to reality instead of idealising this person. Control the use of social media. Try to focus on your own life, try to get interested in a new hobby. Exercise an option of not contacting your ex for some time for example a month in order to get space for new perspectives, clearing up your head etc. If there is something you want to tell your ex and that's why you can't stop thinking you can try writing a letter that you might never send.
MatjavexyBI
October 28th, 2021 1:03pm
So forgeting your ex can be a difficult process but it is necessary if you want to move on and have a better life and find someone who will I've you as much love as you give it to them. You can start slowly, step by step, focusing on some other things which make you happy. But it is important that you know you cant bury your feelings because sooner or later they will come back and it will be even harder to get over them. Thats why you gotta take it seriously and start with self-care activities and if you need any help just reach out for help because only on this app you will find a lot of people who are ready to help you out.
KafkasCreation
November 25th, 2021 7:21pm
Something that has helped me in the past was focusing on things I enjoy unrelated to the ex. For me, it was painting, giving myself a facial, and other hobbies I might had not had much time to pursue while in a relationship. Meeting new people even just for friends can also give perspective that there are plenty of people out there and it's not the end of the world if something doesn't work out. Life is full of new experiences. Sometimes I would also allow myself to just reflect on the situation, where it went wrong and what I could do differently in the future. Accept the mistakes I had made and try to grow as a person going forward.
HW46
December 15th, 2021 9:55pm
Find a hobby, also join a group activity-like group hikes or book clubs. I find that when I spend time being of service to others I can not only feel great, but I get out of my own head. Think about what you enjoy and learn how you can be of service in that area. If you like animals, maybe you can volunteer at a zoo or animal shelter. If you like music maybe you can volunteer to help the music department at a church. There are so many different things available to do good and feel good.