Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

How do I know if I'm in a toxic relationship?

229 Answers
Last Updated: 07/16/2020 at 6:50am
1 Tip to Feel Better
Turkey
Moderated by

Caglagul Turhan, Msc

Art Therapist

I believe that being aware of who a person is, will help to make the life better. I help children, adolesences, adults and parents for understanding themselves

Top Rated Answers
avamadueno22
January 25th, 2017 3:10pm
If the person is not accounting for you, your feelings, and respect you and just doesn't really care for you. Uses you and doesn't want anything but what they want when it's convenient. You can't be with someone like that, you deserve much better because you're much better.
Hikushi
February 1st, 2017 4:01am
If you feel that your needs and feelings aren't valued or respected. If you feel that you have to walk on eggshells around your partner. If you can't be yourself with them and they bring out the worst in you.
Laney725
February 3rd, 2017 10:16pm
You could possibly know if you are in a toxic relationship when you or the other person is being physically hurt or mentally abused.
sereneWaterfall24
February 9th, 2017 2:08pm
You can tell by observing how you feel in relation to your partner's actions, thoughts and reactions to you. If you feel comfortable and valued around your partner, it is most likely it is a healthy relationship. Feeling uncomfortable, uneasy, tense, sad, are often signals that something might be wrong.
Anonymous
February 24th, 2017 2:32am
The first clue you're in a toxic relationship is wondering if you are! Pay attention to yourself and how this person makes you feel. If it isn't positive & loved, why not make space for the right kinds of people?
Anonymous
February 24th, 2017 1:13pm
Physical or mental abuse by your partner, any derogatory comments coming, huge difference between the actions and words of your partner, violence with you by him or her, emotional blackmailing, a feeling of emotion draining, suffering, these are indications of a toxic relationship,
marvelousMermaid87
February 24th, 2017 1:34pm
It is of course independent to you and your situation, but think right now, are you happy? Are you sad more than you are happy in the relationship? Do you hurt each other physically or emotionally? You are so important, and though it may be very difficult to break up, it won't be as hard as staying in this toxic relationship, and you are worth more than this. Always here.
RoseAngel
February 24th, 2017 2:54pm
Ask yourself are you really happy or just scared of letting the person go and things to change. What is the foundation of your relationship - love/trust or fears? Does the relationship helps you to grow as a better person or holds you back in life?
strongforce
February 25th, 2017 6:29pm
If you're the one doing all the giving, or if the other person is trying to hurt you, silence you, control you, or use you to their advantage, chances are it's a toxic relationship. There's also information on toxic relationships/relationship abuse at loveisrespect.org.
kindheartedGrace81
February 26th, 2017 12:24pm
It is often hard to know when you are in a toxic relationship. Many times we are so dedicated to the person we don't see the damage they are causing. I believe it is important to always put yourself first, and believe that you know how you would like to be treated.
LittleTeaServer
March 16th, 2017 12:07am
Think about who you are with that person. Do you like who you are when you're with them? Do you feel emotionally exhausted when you have to spend time with them? If you give up a lot of who you are and what you believe in for this other person there's a good chance that your relationship is toxic.
Nessidy
March 19th, 2017 10:23am
When you stop being happy in the relationship, and you start to be concerned about doing things that would upset your partner. It's starts to be about making the other person happy and you adjusting to them. They can criticize you a lot, blame you, control you, even patronize you. When you're nervous all the time, but you ignore it, because nothing is wrong with your partner and you're the paranoid and nagging one. There is no trust between you. When you're being hurt and they make you feel guilty. When they cut you off your friends because "you don't need them/they're bad friends". A toxic relationship doesn't need all of those mentioned above. The basic symptoms are distrust, nervousness, bad atmosphere and a lack of happiness. All you need is to reflect and to ask yourself: "Am I truly happy?".
Meena
April 3rd, 2017 12:21pm
Feeling drained, being used, getting emotionally abused and constantly having fights. Moreover, making you to be doubt at your relationship
2rgUiDe
April 5th, 2017 8:21pm
You will know that you are in a toxic relationship when you can't be yourself. You can't express whatever you want to say or do because you're afraid that your partner might judge you or get mad at you. And your partner always makes the decision in your relationship. He just want you to follow everything. You're whole world just turns to your partner.
cherryblossoms1000
April 7th, 2017 9:15pm
I believe that a toxic relationship is a relationship that makes you suffer more than it makes you happy. A relationship is supposed to bring positivity and joy into your life, of course there are times when things does not work, but if the relationship makes you suffer most of the time, it is toxic
Anonymous
April 26th, 2017 2:31am
I think the biggest sign of a toxic relationship is when you realize you care about the other person so much and you don't care about yourself at all. Your partner may not necessarily be doing anything wrong, but the relationship can still be toxic. Looking back on my toxic relationship, I remember wanting to be wherever my partner was no matter how it affected where I worked or went to school. I would be upset when my partner was seeing friends instead of spending time with me. I was constantly afraid my partner would break up with me which gave me more anxiety. My therapist at the time said something to me that I have never forgotten - she said, "If your relationship did end it would be upsetting of course, but the reality is that your world would not be over." At the time I didn't believe her. I totally thought my world would be over if the relationship ended! But over time I learned to value myself more and allow myself to have interests and goals outside of the relationship. I started putting myself first for the first time in my life, and almost immediately I began to excel in everything I did because I was finally allowing myself to do that. My partner eventually got angry that I was focusing so much more on myself all of a sudden. Eventually my partner broke up with me because I "changed." But I wasn't devastated, and to me that felt like true growth and a healthy progress. Loving yourself and taking care of yourself if so important. If you notice you are not on your priority list, start thinking about how that may be an issue for the relationship.
Ky23
May 5th, 2017 4:18pm
You know that feeling in your gut that you get when something just doesn't feel right? If the person you are with makes you feel like that, they probably aren't the right person. Fights and little spats will happen in any relationship, but you should never feel unsafe or be verbally, physically, or sexually abused.
Anonymous
May 11th, 2017 5:57pm
When criticism is used as a channel to express contempt or disdain for someone else, it can make the other person feel unvalued and worthless. It’s hard for a relationship to come back from that.
alovelyjourney
May 20th, 2017 5:48pm
This is a questions I have always tried to answer to myself. The first thing I have ever noticed when I was in a toxics relationship was when I lived more in the past than in the present. When I had not had the feeling that I my partner was supportive and I had to deal with everything alone. I think deep in your heart you will feel when something is wrong.
Ashoulder4u
May 21st, 2017 2:16pm
One of the largest signs of this is isolation. A partner may isolate you from friends or family. If you do choose to visit with friends or family, they may "punish" you by not speaking to you, refusing to follow through on plans they made with you, or dealing with you in a angry manner while not explaining their frustration
Anonymous
May 21st, 2017 7:11pm
You know you are in a toxic relationship when you are being controlled, threatened, physically hurt or emotionally hurt. If you are in a relationship, and you start to wonder if it is toxic, there's a good chance it is.
Anonymous
May 28th, 2017 11:29am
A toxic relationship usually shows off signs of some kind of abuse. It might not be physical, it could just be little things making you feel guilty, uncomfortable. Basically mental abuse. For many people, it is easily recognisable but for some, it might be covered up by feelings towards the individual. If you do have any doubts try talking to someone close to you who knows you and your partner well and can unbiasedly tell you their opinion on the situation. Furthermore you can come here and talk to one of our listeners.
callforhelp
June 10th, 2017 6:10am
if the relationship is draining me up.it is not letting me achieve or do what i want, or is hindering my progress. you know you are in a toxic relationship when the focus is never on you it is on the other person who is very demanding. you feel like you are in a prison . and there is only negativity . you feel like you are trapped and there is no end to it.
MiyaKana88
June 14th, 2017 2:26pm
first i would like to define the word toxic which means poisonous, unpleasant and capable of causing death or illness to the body, therefore if you are in a toxic relationship you it would be an unpleasant experience. it would be stagnant without any potential of moving to the next level, you would be in a loop, it would sap out your whole energy, you would be constantly anxious and just plain unhappy
damselinthisdress
June 21st, 2017 5:28am
There are numerous signs. But the most important of them is how you feel when you are with them. If you feel disrespected, unheard, disregarded, mentally, emotionally, and physically drained, then chances are you are in a toxic relationship.
BadSpeech
June 22nd, 2017 9:30pm
My advice is to google the signs of a toxic/unhealthy relationship and processed with an evaluation on your own.
positivitybean
July 5th, 2017 12:20pm
. They twist your words and use them against you. 2. They’re mean – but then they say that you misunderstood them. 3. They make you feel guilty for saying, no. 4. They act cold towards you if you don’t do what they want. 5. You never feel as if you meet their expectations. 6. You feel as if you’re walking on eggshells all the time. 7. You feel very confused by the relationship. 8. You constantly feel anxious about the relationship. 9. It causes you to question your own sanity.
Anonymous
July 8th, 2017 4:05am
It's hard to say exactly, but there are some red flags. One is if you doubt your own feelings. Do you often feel too sensitive or jealous? Another is if you often leave conversations or events with them feeling confused or upset or unhappy. One more is if you often find yourself doubting their sincerity. The only sure answer is if YOU feel like you are being mistreated. If you have a gut feeling or have assessed your feelings enough, maybe it's best to follow those feelings.
5thousandmiles
July 13th, 2017 11:56am
If you're unhappy, anxious, always feeling on edge, finding yourself wishing you could be single or with someone else. If you're not growing as a couple and things feel stagnant, it could be time to go.
WhenTheTimeComes
July 16th, 2017 2:08am
What triggers a toxic relationship is different expectations on each side. It doesn't mean that one or the other is being abusive or treating poorly its partner (this would define a toxic personality, which is different from a toxic relationship), just that since each of you expects more or less than the other, it brings conflicts, resentment, bitterness and all will affect the relationship itself, making it difficult.