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How to get over someone you never dated?

178 Answers
Last Updated: 12/19/2021 at 4:54am
1 Tip to Feel Better
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Theresa Gulliver, Registered Clinical Counsellor


Problems cannot be solved using the same level of thinking that created them. We must try something different. Gently, we turn your challenges into opportunities for healing.

Top Rated Answers
June 26th, 2019 5:10am
One possible way to get over someone you've never dated is you have to realize that nothing was there. (At least if you both didn't know each other, or even possibly if you did know each other). One positive way you can think about it is, if they're in a relationship with someone then they're meant to be with them and there's someone better out there for you that you're meant to be with. It will take some time to get over them but if you give it some time and then come to terms with there being other people out there for you to date then hopefully it will help.
August 10th, 2019 1:51pm
Get surrounded by friends and family. Start, or get back to a hobby. Keep your mind busy and it will get better over time. When you have a crush on someone you tend to look at them through lenses that filter out their flaws. List these out! Find out they were not as perfect as you tend to think. Go out there and start dating again! There are countless dating apps, speed date meetings, pubs, clubs etc. Find that there are more people who are great and caring! And remember: it is okay to grieve. You feel sorry and that is just fine! Own the pain. Accept that it will hurt. It will be so much easier to move on! I’ve been there and I promise - it gets better!
September 22nd, 2019 6:13pm
I was able to do this by realizing and accepting that I would be able to remain his friend and also, that its better and healthier to accept the love i could see someone else was offering me rather than pining for someone obviously not Interested in me. So I did so, I dated another person who I was attracted to and who I knew cared about me. I also avoided any daydreaming and thoughts about "my ex crush". Immersing myself in activities I developed interest in also helped me forget. Putting distance between yourselves can also help, I got into college in a state different from his, the new environment helped.
October 13th, 2019 12:55am
I would say the process of getting over someone you haven't dated would be a lot like getting over someone you had dated. But specifically someone you dated and things were going really good from your opinion. Both kind of leave you in a place of feeling "what I could have had". So even though there isn't a concrete dynamic of loss, there is a concrete feeling of loss. And that feeling is real and should be treated as real. I would seek out resources (can be a professional or self-help exercises) that focus on maybe divorce/seperation/relationships (I know it seems weird but since the feelings are similar), grief, and loneliness.
October 18th, 2019 6:14am
this is something i've experienced over many times and it's weird for people to say that you're not allowed to feel sadness just because we're trying to get over someone we've never dated. please know that these feelings are still as true as those couples who are in love and you should never feel that your feelings are invalidated. for me, i get over someone using the same methods for getting over a break up. it's really about re-connecting with your peers and making new connections, focusing on yourself and figuring out what you like, exercise, practice self-care and stuff. all the best! please engage a listener if needed.
November 27th, 2019 5:55pm
How I would deal with that and have dealt with that (multiple times xD) is to see that if that person is not interested in me, they are not the one I want/aren't worth having. That's because I want to be wanted in a relationship and to be loved just as much as I love them! Also I think it is also a matter of seeing that if we love someone who is not interested in us, it is maybe hiding some strategy on our part to stay safer out of a relationship by going after someone who doesn't want us. Meaning, if they don't want us we stay safe because we won't have to deal with potentially loosing them one day and experiencing that pain.
December 6th, 2019 5:07am
It can be a very hard situation. I've had several moments when I was emotionally attached to a person and not have them reciprocate it. It feels like the end of the word, only that it isn't. Slowly, you learn that them not reciprocating your feelings have nothing to do with you. They just don't want to date you. I really like this one quote and I'll just share it here in my own words - "You're free to love who you want to love, but so are they." I think with time you learn that your love is precious and just because they don't love you doesn't mean you can't love them, you just have to love yourself enough to walk away and wait for the love you deserve.
December 15th, 2019 10:57am
This is always complicated and can be frustrating, I have recently just done this and I would advice; giving yourself time. You need to if possible talk to them as minimum as possible even better not at all, this doesn't have to be permanent, just until your ready and sure you dont have feeling for them anymore. I would strongly recommend that you surround yourself with people you love and trust and also open up about how your feeling to someone because it's important that you know your feelings are validated and they do matter, it's easy to feel like they don't when you think of the fact you weren't even in a relationship. Start doing the things you love like hobbies even more, for me it was dance I was in studio for up to nine hours in a week and I loved it. For me it's something im passionate about because its my happy place and when I'm dancing I forget everything and am just wrapped up in a whole another exciting world. It definitely sped up the healing process. Other than these little things that will have a big impact you just have to be patient with yourself and allow yourself to give your heart and mind the time it needs to move on. Just remember every single person has a different rate at which they heal so don't compare yourself and grow from the experience. :)
January 2nd, 2020 10:04am
To get over someone you never dated, you need to stop focusing on that person and instead focus on yourself. Become a better version of you. You stop asking why doesn't he like me but instead ask What can i do to become a better version of myself. We should love ourselves before we can love other people. It would make sense that if we fill ourselves with love that love overflows to others. Love will always come your way if you love yourself because it will make you happier even if there is no one else beside you. You alone can make yourself happy. If someone comes along, then they come along but do not wait. Instead keep yourself busy.
January 8th, 2020 7:49am
I once fell in love with someone a while ago. I could not doing anything about it after learning that the person was already in a relationship. It was really hard to suppress my feelings. With time, I realized that to love someone you don't need to be in a relationship with them. By learning that attitude, I was able to see the whole world differently and treat everyone with love. The root cause of misery is expectations. If we're able to set aside our expectations, we would be able to get over anything. We cannot change what we cannot control, but only change ourselves.
January 22nd, 2020 10:55pm
Find closure, the best way is to accept the fact why it wouldn't work. Sometimes we keep on considering possibilities in our head, it is important to be realistic and focusing on facts right in front of you rather than justifying them with an understanding of your own. Remember, 2+2 is always 4. If he or she isn't the right person then trust me they are not. Any excuse you give to your mind is just an excuse. It is important to embrace that some things are not meant to be sometime things are good but not good for you.
February 27th, 2020 1:46pm
That's kinda easy. Just don't fall in love that deep or you will got hurt. Or ignore them for a while, then come back again as a friend, you will see them as a friend for a short time. Mostly i used "see them as a friend" method and it works. But i know most of people can't use that method cause if we near them for too long or even falling in love with them deeply, it's hard to see them as a friend, it's a crush! But "ignoring for a while" method is the hardest method ever. How can you not stop thinking about them? Haha
March 25th, 2020 5:41pm
Friendship and dating are two totally different areas of our process of thinking and desires to be in future. If dating isn't apart of the relationship, then nothing should cause harm by continued friendship. Should be easier as friends than dating . Shall one have an attraction to the other and the other no attraction, it's time to talk about, express how you feel and your desires to be. If the party isn't as open minded or feelings are different, it's better to be friends, than nothing at all and who knows telling one how you feel could open up their mind and make them think about you more.
March 28th, 2020 5:52pm
These things take time so the best thing you can do is give yourself time to heal. Respect the other person's decision, and accept that this is what the situation is right now, but that doesn't mean it will always be like this. Do things for yourself, do things you enjoy with your friends and don't give up on the potential of finding someone who likes you back. It's important to remember that this is your own journey and that there is no set timeline for you, and this is regardless of where other people are in their own life journey.
April 8th, 2020 5:23pm
It seems like nowadays, more and more people are getting close to someone and feeling as though they were dating, without “defining the relationship”. Even if you didn’t “date”, you still got close to that person and probably spent time with them. Because of that, and even if you did not date, it is still a loss. You can still feel sad and upset, because you did loose someone. It doesn’t matter if they were a partner/boyfriend/girlfriend- what matters is that they were someone you formed a close relationship with. If you tell yourself, “I can’t be sad, we didn’t even date”, you are not allowing yourself time to grieve and heal.
April 12th, 2020 3:30pm
You focus on yourself and keep yourself busy by planning your goals and how you want to achieve them. It’s okay to cry, but it’s important to come back to your plan. It’s also very important to get enough exercise, especially when you feel the most sad, because it will make you tired and also help you feel better. It’s also a good idea to find a healthy outlet, like writing, painting, music, or simply talking with someone who will listen. Although it is tempting to change who you are or turn to things that are not good for you, it’s important to love yourself enough to not allow yourself to do it. This brings me to my last and most important point. You need to speak positivity to yourself as much as you can and tell yourself nice things. Love yourself.
April 16th, 2020 10:05pm
I guess, many people say that its easier to get over someone you have never dated, but heres a thing, you need to hate someone to get over them, you need to um have a closure. But one thing we need to realise is that um, we probably arent inlove with the persom, see the thing is we probably dont know them, we are just inlove with this picture we have create in our mind of them... I think there is nothing wrong with it but only you can stop yourself. Construct arguments and counter arguments, tell yourself if they cared they wouldve put effort, they wouldve realised that you like them, make yourself see your worth, you deserve someone who puts you first and put efforts to know you
April 17th, 2020 2:52am
Oh girl did this hit home for me. I completely get you, a guy maybe even leading you on or just some intense crushing. Here are things that worked out for me when I needed to get over a guy that barely knew I existed. 1) snap more friends. the more you talk about things with them, the more you'll forget about this. 2) i'm not saying REBOUND, but maybe find some other guys to talk to, but don't play them, that's just rude. 3) honestly if he's bugging you, block or ignore all forms of social media and contact. that way you won't remember about it as much or be reminded of it. 4) most important: do the things you love. this will help you think about what ur doing that u love rather than some stanky ass boy or girl that didn't give u attention and love even tho u deserve it.
April 19th, 2020 3:44pm
Once you've really acknowledged that you deserve to be happy, think about this: what do you really want? What attracted to you this person? If this person isn't interested in you, think about what characteristics about them you found were drawn to and keep that in mind as you figure out what you want out of a relationship. remember that this person might not be interested in you, but so many other people will be. “In a world of over seven billion people, it is astonishing sometimes to consider how we are able to convince ourselves to settle or stay in relationships that produce more hurt and pain than our inherent wholeness and a state of deep peace, There's nothing more frustrating than the "there are plenty of fish in the sea" line when you're trying to get over someone, but it is true. You might not be ready for the other fish just yet, but one day you will be.
April 24th, 2020 4:15pm
I think it's important to first validate your feelings and recognize that regardless of whether or not you had a romantic relationship, a friendship or admiring someone from afar that the feelings you experienced are very real. We have to feel to heal so acknowledging that you had feelings for this person will help you move through the stages of grieving the loss of something you hoped to have happen and allow you to move forward in your life. As you process your feelings it's important to be patient and kind yourself without denying or diminishing how you feel. Surround yourself with supportive people to talk with and be aware of the negative stories you may be telling yourself that are not true. Use healthy distractions and hobbies to give yourself a way to refocus and release the stress of your emotions and remind yourself that you are worth loving by someone who can truly appreciate you!
April 25th, 2020 6:46pm
It's easy to blame yourself for the things you could have done or the things you think you did wrong. However, acknowledge that you may not have been right for each other or it wasn't the right time for a relationship. Getting out of a cycle of thinking about them can be really hard. A few ways to get out of the cycle may be starting a new routine or a hobby that can take your mind off of them. All things take time, so try not to push yourself too hard when it comes to moving on. It's all about your mindset.
May 13th, 2020 10:01am
Getting over someone you have never dated is hard because there is no closure. However, I found reassurance and closure with the thought that I never dated that guy for a reason. He did not want me even though I did my best to be there for him and support him. I did my best, yet he did not. It gave me closure knowing that I gave my all. It comforted me knowing that I deserved someone who would put their 100% into me too. It helped knowing my self worth and effort I put into the person. Their feelings is out of my control so I was able to heal knowing that there were no “what ifs” since I tried my best.
June 17th, 2020 6:43pm
It can be hard because you feel like you have had such a strong connection with them. For me, it took a while because it felt as if we were dating. I had to find other things to distract myself. I would watch Netflix and exercise. I would do things to not have my mind on that particular person. I stopped contacting them. I did not want to see their text or stories on social media. It was hard but eventually, I got over them if I can do it so can you! I focused on myself and my friends and family. I gained weight and lost weight. I focused on my academics. I believe in you sand I am so proud of you reaching out for help!
June 21st, 2020 12:40am
This is a frustrating experience to go through because you can't even figure out why it's so hard to get over people you never dated. The way I got over that person was restricting myself from seeing their posts on social media because the more I see them, the harder I fall. When I come across things that are associated with them, like a song or an object, I try to re-associate it with a better memory. There are other ways that you could get over that person but these are just some of the ones that helped me the most. I hope it helps you too ! :D
June 24th, 2020 2:28am
hi there! i have dealt with this recently and i would love to help you with this! i had a thing with this guy and then he basically dropped me. i didn't cry but i felt sad and wanted to sleep all day, every day. however, i did recently get over him. thanks to my spotify playlist "im done with you", i got over him. this playlist consists of breakup songs and "i don't care about you" songs. it also takes a lot of time. trust me you will get over them and if you wait, that feeling will go away! good luck!
June 27th, 2020 12:11am
To get over someone you never dated, it's important to learn self-love. Self-love isn't something you gain overnight, so you have to keep actively working at it. Once you start gaining self-love, you realize you deserve more than a situationship. You deserve someone who will love you like you love yourself. Knowing these things will help you weed out those who aren't really meant for you. There's a reason why you never dated that person. It's also important to understand that it wasn't your fault. We often pick at the situation and ourselves trying to figure out where we went wrong. You did nothing wrong, that person just wasn't for you :)
July 5th, 2020 4:29pm
To get over someone you have never dated, you will need to keep your head and your mind in a good and positive place and remember that it is ok to let out your emotions and that it is totally normal and it is ok to speak to a trusted person about it. To get over them, tell them how they made you feel and ask them how you made them feel. At the end of the day, you both will know how you made each others feel and you could fix the problem and get over them. Self-love is the key.
July 12th, 2020 2:40pm
Just say hello to them. Meet up with them and if possible spend the day with them.Do things that that you like and that they like.Promote conversations and try your best to not make things awkward.It might help if you go to places that have activities to do and then later go somewhere to does not have to be an expensive place though.If required bring a friend or multiple friends.Have some things planned out and stay spontaneous. Finally at the end of the day get a journal and write down how the day was, how you felt about the day and about that person.Did it go the way you wanted?From this you can probably tell if this is someone to be with
August 6th, 2020 2:17am
This is a difficult thing to go through and can sometimes be as hard as getting over someone you did date, especially because in these types of situations you are less likely to get closure. Try to think about why you are attracted to them in the first place. Sometimes when we are attracted to someone it's because we are in some way idealizing them. Learning to realize that the person you are attracted to is also a flawed human being can be really helpful. Other times, it might be because they have a particularly friendly personality and make you feel good, and it's easy to confuse this feeling for attraction. This can be especially hard if you know the person well and consider them a friend. However, it's ultimately important to understand and accept that some things aren't meant to be. You should allow yourself to feel whatever emotions feel natural to you, but in the end let them go. Sometimes this means trying to decrease the time and energy spent thinking about them, and refocus it on building yourself up.
August 20th, 2020 9:17pm
crushes are tough to get over. It helps to focus on something else going on in your life and slowly but surely you'll start thinking of that special person less and less. Getting over a crush myself atm and it's hard. Slowly distance yourself...text them less and less and it helps to get them off your mind. You'll see that not giving yourself that constant access to them helps. Or if you're super bold, you can also admit to having feelings for this special person that you like and hey! maybe those feelings are reciprocated and maybe they're not. In the event that it's not, then...there you go. It might help to get over someone when they tell you that they're not interested in you.