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I cheated, should I break up with my partner?

233 Answers
Last Updated: 06/30/2020 at 3:24am
I cheated, should I break up with my partner?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Lauren Abasheva, LMHC

Licensed Professional Counselor

A sex positive, and kink knowledgeable therapist with an open mindset and a clear understanding that we are all different.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
December 16th, 2015 11:16pm
In my opinion, I believe it's best to be honest with your partner about what happened and as a couple decide where to go from there.
Anonymous
December 16th, 2015 11:44pm
you have to be honest and let them know what happened. If you do not love your partner the you should or else it wont be an honest relationship which will lead to more problems in the future
StormyAngles18
December 17th, 2015 12:22am
That would all be up to you and how you feel. But just know communication is everything in a relationship. Try telling them the truth and try to work through it before resorting to breakup.
NeverGiveUpNeverSurrender
December 17th, 2015 1:47am
I think that depends on you. I would do a self-reflection and self-evaluation as to why you cheated on the first place. Was it because you're unsatisfied with your current relationship? Was it because you wanted to try out to see whether you could actually do it? There could be a number of reasons. I think it's best to start from there and what ever the reason or logic behind your actions, it you're able to rationalize and are willing to take all the responsibilities and work with the consequences, I think you would also be able to answer your own question :)
clh2os
December 17th, 2015 7:39am
A quote that has been floating around the internet speaks volumes to this situation: When in love with two people, pick the second, because if the first was good enough--there wouldn't be number two. Follow your heart. Ask yourself what was missing. Is it something you and your partner can fix? Ultimately, you need to discover your own truth--be honest and it will play out. There will be hurt--but it's better than deepseeded resentment.
KRN
December 17th, 2015 11:32am
Tell him/her the truth, ask for forgiveness and the answer will depend on the results of your conversation.
HelpWisely
December 17th, 2015 6:25pm
You can try opening up to your partner and being honest about what you did then ask for his forgiveness. If he forgives you then there is no need to break up with him.
CuddlyOasis98
December 17th, 2015 8:09pm
Confess about it to your partner. Apologize. Maybe they would forgive you and you can be together happily
endlesslyinlove13
December 17th, 2015 10:00pm
You should ask your self what were the reasons for cheating you dont like him anymore, he dosent love you anymore. Will you do it again what is your stance on cheating? all this questions needs answers and in all of that you will find if you should brake with your partner.
Nakuu
December 18th, 2015 1:42am
What you should do it talk to your partner about this, see if you can work through it. Cheating usually is caused by unhappiness in the relationship, if you talk about them and try to find the issues you're facing you can together discuss what's better for the both of you.
RedRagna90
December 18th, 2015 4:58pm
An old wise man once said "if you ever created with another person, go with another person, for if you truly love the first person, you wouldn't go with the second one in the first place"
Anonymous
December 18th, 2015 9:36pm
First thing you should consider is to let your partner know about this. Being honest in this situation may be best for you as well as your partner. The decision to break-up with him/her should best be made after that. If you want to stay with your partner, disclosure and communication is the best way to sort it out, may be even make the relationship stronger. It depends whether you want to break-up with him/her because you don't love them anymore, or because you feel bad about what happened. If it is the former, then your partner deserves to know how you feel about them. Because, break-ups are hard for both partners in almost all cases. If the reason is latter, then make an effort to let them know about what happened. It takes courage to disclose what has occurred. Sure it may feel awful during the course of the conversation, but trust me at a later point you will feel good about yourself for having come clean.
Anonymous
December 18th, 2015 11:58pm
If you love them, just tell them the truth and who knows what'll happen. If you don't, try to explain to them that you cheated and you wan it to end (even though it feels really horrible).
airreeekuh
December 19th, 2015 8:03am
To be in a relationship means having to be loyal to your signifant other. This is a no-tolerance zone. If he/she cheated, how can you guarantee that he/she will not do it again just because you gave them a chance? Giving them the trust and the chance just means having to deal with a lot more heartbreak than the first one.
NachtHexen
December 19th, 2015 12:39pm
You should talk it over with him. But be verry aware that if he can cheat once, he can cheat twice.
ThomasF
December 19th, 2015 4:58pm
Your options are to either tell them or not tell them, coupled with break up or not break up. If you tell them, they will be sad and either forgive you or break up with you. If you don't tell them, they can't be hurt, however you may feel guilt for the rest of your relationship. It all depends on if you can handle the guilt. Weigh the pros and cons.
Anonymous
December 19th, 2015 6:55pm
I think you should speak with your partner and find out how they feel about this. Explain how you feel and why you did it
Anonymous
December 19th, 2015 6:55pm
Yes if you cheated then you should break up with them because it is being dishonest to both people unless you tell them and their okay with it then
Anonymous
December 19th, 2015 7:03pm
If you cheated on your partner and feel that you cannot confront them and apologize, or are in the situation you feel you no longer love them this may be the best course of action.
BatWings89
December 19th, 2015 8:56pm
That is your call. Some people choose to be honest, others break up, others just don't tell. How would you feel if your partner cheated on you and what would you want can be a hint what might work. Consider your own feelings, the strength of your relationship etc.
Breazt
December 19th, 2015 9:22pm
If you have strong feelings for the other guy/girl, you have already broken up with your current boyfriend/girlfriend emotionally. That is just a fact... I think that you should talk with your partner about that. If you feel really bad about what you did and your partner would be able to forgive you, maybe that will gonna be fine. I wish you luck.
Anonymous
December 19th, 2015 11:31pm
Confess that you cheated to your partner and if she/he wants you to break up then you can break up.
carefreeParadise46
December 20th, 2015 1:09am
yes you should, its bad when you cheat on someone who really loves you, it will be hard for the other person but he/ she will be okay
Rignelda
December 20th, 2015 4:50am
You should have broken up with him or her before you cheated. But to answer the question, yes, you should.
Anonymous
December 20th, 2015 9:28pm
Talk to him/her and explain why you cheated. if things go wrong, you should leave him/her but tell them everything and listen to what they have to say also.
PatientPenguin007
December 20th, 2015 11:55pm
You should talk to them about it, and explain how you feel. Accept that a break up may be their choice.
wonderousBeauty87
December 23rd, 2015 7:41am
If you cheated, a way of focusing the issues would be to try to determine the real reason why you did in the first place. Giving and having a clear booster on why yo acted the way you did, will help you decide where to go with your current relationship and how to act upon it. Nevertheless, it is your partner's right to know you cheated and is their decision as well to think about where the relationship is or isn't going.
Anonymous
December 23rd, 2015 8:08pm
You should only break up with your partner if you dont love him/her anymore. If you still love him/her then dont break up.
Zanep
December 23rd, 2015 11:38pm
Definitely not, you should tell them what happened. Do not make excuses for your actions, there are no excuses. Talk it out, if they decide they can not forgive you then they have the choice to leave. You should never leave someone with no explanation, look at the situation from their point of view.
Littlelori
December 24th, 2015 12:52am
Yes but explain the situation first lying is never the best option it will help both of you feel better and maybe help resolve any future issues remember to just tell the truth