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I love two different people. What should I do?

145 Answers
Last Updated: 07/26/2020 at 3:54am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
September 3rd, 2016 5:15pm
Choose who you the most happiest with that treats you the best that you see yourself spending years with.
Anonymous
September 7th, 2016 2:49pm
If you have to 'choose' between to people, choose the second one. You wouldn't have fallen in love with someone if you love the first person
thoughtfulPomegranate86
September 7th, 2016 6:51pm
Always go for the one you fell for second, because if you really loved the person you fell for first, you would have never fallen for the second
amazingGrotto88
September 9th, 2016 12:28pm
This is a difficult one but i would suggest write a list on the positives and the negatives of both and what they bring to the table for you ie. stability, passion, love, and take it from there.
enjoyiableBlanket63
September 9th, 2016 9:10pm
being aware you have the ability to emotionally hurt someone. Looking at the pros and cons of each individual might be helpful.
Anonymous
September 11th, 2016 2:39pm
Choice the one that loves you and cares for you, or don't chose at all! It's important to know if that person is interested in you
TheTripleS719
September 17th, 2016 5:03am
If you have to choose, choose the second one. If the first person you were in love with was true love and meant to be, the second person wouldn't have been an option.
generousEnergy13
September 21st, 2016 6:15pm
Don't date any of them until you realise who you truly like. Don't make them feel like they're in competition with each other
SunnyQ
September 24th, 2016 12:14pm
If you love two different people, choose the one who you love the most. Because the one you love the most is the one you actually love.
smoltimes
September 28th, 2016 12:30am
Do not commit to either of them, that is not fair to them. Take time to truly think over if you really love both of them. Spend time with each of them and decide which you value most and what one you want to be with in a long term relationship.
Helpinghands10
September 28th, 2016 10:03pm
Well love can be hard sometimes and the right path to go is to just follow your true hearts desire and love them as much as you can
Anonymous
October 3rd, 2016 10:57am
I think you're confused between two personalities. I'm sure you understand that you should probably give yourself sometime to think what's best for you.
MachineGKyla
October 14th, 2016 2:57pm
Tell them both how you feel. However loves you will stay, whoever doesn't will leave. It's hard, trust me I know but It's work itself out
GeorgeAtlas17
October 23rd, 2016 2:01pm
Love has more than one definition. Figure out what do you love about each of them...what aspect of being with them...If you had to see yourself 5 years from now, who do you see yourself with in love and who do you see yourself staying in touch with...a friend you can count on...
JaneMays
November 3rd, 2016 3:05pm
The best thing you can do is to go for a little getaway with only yourself and figure out who is the one you love, and who is the one you just feel similar. There can only be one that is your soul partner. They to create some space for yourself and just focus on the feelings you have for each person. Than, think of the ways you feel next to them. Meditation and mindfulness may be your first bricks on this road.
Anonymous
November 4th, 2016 4:18pm
Choose the newest one. This person seems to have more to offer to you, and your mind needs to be with the person that has not been overruled by anyone else.
Lizzenah1
November 17th, 2016 6:23am
Omg. Well this is something I know way way way too well. Love is such a tricky thing. It fragile but unbreakable, it's harmless but painful, its vast and knows no limits; which is exactly why I think that loving two people is posisble. my advice to you is you should look deeper into the way you love each of them and the reasons. And if it comes to you making a choice....... always choice the one that makes you happy both mentally and emotionally. Don't limit or settle reach and love.
Ladipsutes
November 17th, 2016 5:13pm
Let me quote Johnny Depp “if you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.” I think this quote just says it all. And if your first instinct was, no this isn't right. Then you probaly already knew that you love the first one more.
Gentledecent
February 5th, 2017 10:24am
I would search your feelings. Think about whether you would prefer a monogamous or polyamorous relationship, and don't decide on pursuing either of them until you have done so. Then, I'd suggest simply exploring your feelings and going from there.
Activemind96
February 5th, 2017 12:20pm
It's important to considered both of the peoples feelings whilst making a decision on what you should do. If you were to way up the pros and cons for both of them but still love both of them someone could end up getting hurt and you'd loose both of them.
traveller88
February 9th, 2017 2:17pm
Reflect within yourself and make the decision that you feel will make you happier in the long term.
Anonymous
February 22nd, 2017 10:56am
I was there and I talked openly about it with both of them. I tried to know them better, to see where there was real interest from their and my side, and after sometime I tried to stay alone and understand what my heart was asking me during this period where I was distant from them, I have to say also, that one of these two people wasnt too "available" for many reasons. In the end I was interested in the unavailable person. In order to be honest with myself first, and with the other two guys,I cut off contacts with the other (available) guy and I accepted the fact that the unavailable guy whom I loved, couldnt have been there for me, ever. Still, I think this might be also a possible choice. The fact that a person loves you "more" than someone else, it doesnt have to be the "only" reason why you choose him/ her. Your feelings too are crucial in a relationship. I dont think that the "available" guy would have been happy if I chose him "just because" the other one was unavailable. So my advice is: take a chance, and if it doesnt work, at least you could say that you tried and that now is over. And that maybe a third better partner is waiting for you around teh corner :) Good luck :)
Anonymous
March 26th, 2017 8:14pm
I believe that you might not be in love with any, but maybe spending more time with both and keeping an eye on details of how they treat you and their characteristics may help.
Jamesgabriel00
April 5th, 2017 2:45am
Personally, I would sit down and think about who makes me happiest. Think about who understands you better, and can relate to your life but is stable enough to support you during your dark times that may happen in the future.
Anonymous
May 7th, 2017 12:05pm
Back away from both until you clear your head. You might end up losing them both if you play them both. Think of the person you'd rather tell exciting things to, wake up to, and I always look for who treats there mother right.
bubblesandhappiness110
May 31st, 2017 6:21pm
Loving more than one person is always a complicated thing. I usually try to weigh out the pros and cons, to make sure I can make the right choice, but the more time you spend with both of them, the easier and more natural will the answer be. Just remember to be honest and true to yourself!
joyousSalamander76
June 21st, 2017 1:27pm
You must decide which person loves you back. If the love is unrequited, you're just going to end up hurting yourself. You need to make sure that the love from the right person is reciprocated.
ELFcath
June 25th, 2017 2:32pm
Loving two different people is totally unavoidable. If you are in a relationship, there will be some point in your relationship that you will somehow grow tired of your partner or you will get used to the routine of your relationship and you will get attracted to other people. If I love two different people while I'm in a relationship I will choose the second because if truly love the first one I will never find another.
ASilentObserver
July 17th, 2017 6:56am
I guess if you loved first too much, then you never looked for second love. If you fell for second person, then go for second one. Or take a minute to pause and think who is better person between two. And, whosoever is better, go with him. Always look for a better choice and decision rather than being right.
sereneNarwhal18
August 11th, 2017 4:46am
Loving 2 different people is a difficult position to be in because normally you can see the strength and weaknesses in both and realize that if you could combine the 2 people you'd have the "perfect" partner. When you love 3 people, and they love you back, inevitably someone is going to get hurt, which makes the situation harder still and ultimately you will have to let go of one and all of the good qualities you love about them. There is no easy answer for this question. Some might say, follow your heart and others, follow your head. I think you need to listen to your heart but ask your head if what your heart is saying makes sense. Sometimes the one we are most drawn to is the one who is wrong for us (depending on where you fall in the self love category). If you are used to abusive relationships and your heart is drawn to an abusive partner then your head will tell you to go with the other partner assuming they are not abusive but "good". We are a product of our environment and if we learn to expect less from our partner, to be treated badly, we will be drawn to what we know and the other will seem so foreign that it won't make ended but is often times the best choice.