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I love two different people. What should I do?

155 Answers
Last Updated: 09/18/2020 at 2:19pm
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Top Rated Answers
Marissa2163
August 12th, 2017 3:10pm
If you are torn then create a pros and cons list of both individuals and compare. Make sure you have about 5 characteristics that you really want to have in someone and 3 things that you can not stand in someone and whomever comes closest with things you like and has less of things you don't, they should work the best for you.
Anonymous
August 25th, 2017 12:44am
Speaking as someone who is polyamorous, there is nothing wrong with being with both of them. However, if you are looking for a monogamous relationship, then you should take the time to figure out who you want in your life more. It's hard, but you should try to figure out which person is there for you more and makes your life better just by being around and caring for you.
allnaturalUnicorns70
August 30th, 2017 1:50pm
It depends on your moral compass. Some people find it perfectly acceptable to keep two relationships separate from eachother. Others feel you need to be totally open with anyone you hope to keep a relationship with, and you need to come clean about it to both. Consider the feelings of those two lucky people as well, and make the best decision for all of you!
Anonymous
September 3rd, 2017 7:28pm
I used to feel the same in the past. In the reality it wasn't that I loved both of them. I asked myself "what made I began to go to another" and "what person I loved frist". It's important to ask such questions to yourself. Sometimes it turns out that we don't love anybody, just a stupid feeling it is through some time
ellecbr
October 22nd, 2017 5:17am
As cliché as it sounds, follow your heart. Think about who is willing to sacrifice more for you, think about who is more worth your while. Also, think about how much you are willing to give in return. After all, relationships are all about giving and receiving equally.
Myra22
November 15th, 2017 7:07pm
If you gotta make a choice, choose the one that makes you feel alive, is your best friend and accepts you just the way you are.
chris333
November 18th, 2017 2:54pm
You doesn't need to be hard on yourself for loving two different people.. But you might love one of them more than the other.. You have to identify it and stay anchored with him/her.. And you have to let go of other person..
Anonymous
November 23rd, 2017 3:06pm
Think and find the person you love the most or would rather share your life with. Or else, choose the second person you fell in love with. If you had loved the first person, you wouldn't have fallen for the second. - Johnny Depp
Anonymous
November 24th, 2017 10:34am
Focus on the qualities u really need to be in ur partner. So, u should separate from them both for a while and think with a very clear mind about life with each one and choose wisely.
Tom2G
November 26th, 2017 2:37am
It depends on the situation. Do these people love you? In that case, the worst thing you can do is wait. It's a choice you need to make, and the longer you let things fester, the more you and the other two people may get hurt.
MyaLyn335
November 29th, 2017 3:34pm
Don't tell them it could complicate things, take some time to figure out their goods and bads and what you like about them
Anonymous
December 6th, 2017 8:13am
Think about the future. Who do you see in your future? Who do you want to be with in your future? Believe me, I was and still am in that situation. I wish I knew better. I wish I gave myself that advice I just gave you. Think about it. The future.
Anonymous
December 9th, 2017 3:10pm
This is a hard experience, and I am sorry to hear about your conflict. You need to consider the feelings of these people also, as this has a negative effect on everyone involved.
Anonymous
January 5th, 2018 8:44pm
There is nothing wrong in loving both of them as long as it doesn't hurt anyone of you. If you have to make a choice then think about things that are most important to you in life and what are your expectations from your partner? Take your time, make a list and decide with whom you can be happier.
Anonymous
January 10th, 2018 9:01am
Make sure that it is love, actually, as many people mix such emotions up. Next, figure out who you love more, logically, this would be the second person, but it really depends on the overall situation. No matter what, you need to be honest with yourself, and honest with the person you don't love as much. It's best to break it off with that person as it will be hurtful for both of you if it continues.
neverendingWillow31
January 24th, 2018 10:07am
Spend time with both of them and write a list about the pros and cons of both and see who you think suites you better.
Anonymous
January 28th, 2018 5:33pm
It is okay to love two people but its important to be honest to them and to yourself. Do not lead someone on if you can avoid it.
calmingMist38
January 31st, 2018 3:56pm
If you can’t have both people in your life, perhaps the real measure of your love for them is to let them both go. Accepting that you cannot choose, you set them free and if one comes back to you it was meant to be. If neither come back then perhaps you are meant to be with someone new who you grow to love on such a deep level that you only have eyes for them.
Anonymous
February 1st, 2018 2:54pm
You need to talk to both of them and figure out who you have more in common with and who feels more strongly about you.
Anonymous
February 1st, 2018 10:50pm
Tell the people you love and be honest, it's possible one of both like you back. Then decide on it..
Hope39
February 7th, 2018 7:38pm
step away from both people for a while until you are clear on what direction to take. stringing one or both along is selfish. be upfront about what you want. are you afraid of being alone?
Anonymous
February 11th, 2018 2:10am
Such a heart rending situation! I am sharing out of my own experience. I am in a committed relationship with one person, but fell in love with another. There was a long journey of trial and discovery, but this is what I learned. If I’m the type of person that would cheat with you, then I’m the type of person that would cheat on you. So that wouldn’t be good for any of us. I decided to act (as opposed to react and be controlled by emotions) in line with the commitments I had already made, but had to adjust my relationship with the second person to honour that. In time the feelings for person 2 subsided. I know that if I re-enter those situations where I am in close contact with her, things will flare up again, so until such time as I can pursue that second relationship in a right and appropriate way, I feel I must endure. The cool thing is that giving more space for my first relationship has caused that to grow in strength, which has helped fill the need I had that led me to the second love initially...
Jefflund5333
February 27th, 2018 6:37am
It depends on what history you have with each of them. If the love is deep enough which is usually associated with time and effort invested in that person, then your love for each one will never die. So choose who you have invested more time and love with. There are other factors that only you know. Choose who you can bare the least to lose. Don't make this decision quick unless they need you to. This is the most important decision we will ever make.
PrettyCupcake00
March 1st, 2018 6:38am
Hey love! Close your eyes, ask what your heart says. if you would truly love the first one, you would never see the second one or anyone in that love sense.
Anonymous
March 1st, 2018 9:14am
Put your self in a position where you had to loose one of them and then you will see who you cannot live without
Anonymous
March 1st, 2018 6:05pm
If you really loved the first person, there wouldn't be another person. Love is a broad spectrum. How do you view both of these persons?
Anonymous
March 7th, 2018 1:42pm
I don’t think it is possible to love two people at the same time..surely one of them is just a filler of the gaps/imperfections of the one you really love. You wanted to get the best of both worlds. If you truly love someone, he/she alone owns your heart..
Anonymous
March 22nd, 2018 8:00am
I used to think that if you fall for two, pick the second, cause if you really loved the first one you wouldnt fall for the second. BUT thats not always the case. Think about the differences in how they both make you feel, how they treat you, who do you see yourself with in the future, who you would rather live it. Think about their values and compare them to yours.
Katishereforyou
March 31st, 2018 6:32am
There is a difference between love and lust. Ask yourself what are the reasons why you love these people and Identify if they share the same feeling.
intelligentBeauty89
April 5th, 2018 3:33pm
Follow your heart. Write Pros & Cons for each person. Which one do you feel like more yourself with. Who brings out the best version of you.