Moderated by
Lindsay Scheinerman, MA, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
My work with clients is to help them recognize and build on their strengths to find solutions for the conflicts presented in their lives.
Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
April 5th, 2018 3:46pm
loving two people in my own opinion is nothing wrong unless of course there is something more you want from both sides as you well know that cannot be possible unless you are just friends.
Ask yourself is it love or lust? Love is a special feeling that you get when you see a person beautiful personality wise. That person makes you safe, happy, loved, complete, and comforted. Lust is a person's appearance. You only want them for their body only and nothing else. If you do happen to love those two people in a way I described. Then think which one you share the most things with. Which one of them you have the most strongest bind with. Which one of them you feel comfortable with. Which one of them will stay by your side regardless what you do or say. I hope this helps. Please choose the right one.
You cant take them mere options.
First question, do they love you equally? This is guide you taking right decision.
Take time to process your feelings! Consider the feelings of the others involved. What is the status of your relationships with each person? Are you perhaps ready for a discussion about changing the relationship with either one?
Anonymous
April 27th, 2018 7:57pm
You should see if it’s love or if it’s a crush, but if you are still in love with them after 6 weeks you’re in love.
Let your heart decide. Think of the pros and cons, good and bad, etc. Who is best for you and your life?
choose the person you love the most. who do you want to call first or talk to? pick the person who you know understands you better
Anonymous
May 18th, 2018 5:35am
Go with the last person you fell in love with. If you had truly loved the first person you would not have fallen in love with the second.
I heard on a post before, "If you love two different people, always go with the second one, because you probably didn't love the first one if you fell for the second one.
Anonymous
May 19th, 2018 11:02pm
Think about the one that was really there for you. That understood you. That never tried to hurt you on purpose. That you imagine yourself with for as long as you can imagine. Someone that is worth leaving behind other person you like a lot too..
Find the one that makes you happy and loves you for you and not your look or your body. I am always here to talk about it if you want.
Love is as unique as each person who has the joy to experience it. It sounds like you may be polyamorous. If that is something you identify with, you are not alone. There are many people, like you, who feel love for multiple people. Take some time to think about what an ideal situation looks like for you and be as open and honest about your needs and wants to the people involved. It may not always work out the way you want it to, but stay true to yourself and your feelings.
Is it really love? Equal? What do you get from the situation? Love isn't supposed to be selfish and when we give our complete self to someone, that is love. Maybe you are giving just a part of you to one and another part to the other. Maybe you are still trying to figure out your own worth. Pay attention to the thoughts inside your head.
Anonymous
June 22nd, 2018 1:50pm
As Johnn Depp said: "choose the second, if you truly loved the first you wouldn't fall for the second".
Well, first off you should try to accept the fact that you are probably poly. Then talk to them, and tell them the truth. Ask if they would like to both be in a relationship with you at once, if they’re uncomfortable with it then figure out other solutions together, or have them fight to the death. Either way works.
Anonymous
July 3rd, 2018 7:15pm
The first thing to do is understand it will be difficult for them to adjust. However it is natural to have a crush on multiple people. If you are dating them both you should probably tell them though. But remember, don't freak out about this. You can do it!
Make a pros and cons list about both. Compare your interests and what you want in a partner. Make sure you are completely sure before you choose.
See which one loves you the most.
Loving someone is easy but getting the same love back is not easy at all. So i would suggest you to find the one who loves YOU and respects you the most.
Anonymous
July 15th, 2018 10:00am
You could make a list of pros and cons. Focus on the little things because everything matters when making hard decisions
This can be very difficult to handle and there's a saying "If you really loved that person then you wouldn't have fallen for the other one" - Try to figure out if it is genuine, for either person. Are you happy with them? How happy are you? Can you see yourself being with them long term? Think about your happiness, your health and you first before anything, think the long-term effect, not the short term one.
Take a step back, go away for a little bit, then see who, out of the two will come and contact you, versus the other one who contacts you less. This will show who would be more devoted to you.
Sometimes it helps doing a list with pros and cons from each person and then you can evaluate wich one is the one with who you want to be
Anonymous
August 11th, 2018 7:35am
Go for the one who likes you....because that will be good for both of you.........and I think you will be happy
You should find who you want to be with after you find the right one you will know it.you will feel.
It's easier said than done, but choose the one that brings the best out of you, which means the one that is kind, sweet, and warm with you. It is easy to confuse what we want over what we need. Generally, a want in a person could be seen as "they are pretty, they are rich, and they are popular." We see what we wish we could be and we assume that having them brings us closer to that ideal; however, that is very rarely the case. When we are with someone who is kind to us, understanding, compassionate, transparent, and honest, that person easily reflects the ideals of a healthy relationship. It is better to choose someone that makes us smile and is unpopular, than to be with someone who makes us cry and is popular.
Anonymous
September 12th, 2018 1:17pm
I would put a pro and con list for each of these people. When I am done with the lists, I would check to see which one will benefit me most, then make up my mind. Then I can tell the second person, I still would like for us to be friends. However, it is important for me to realize I can still love 2 or more people but in different ways. It isn't necessary to have to give up people in my life if I want to be with them. There are no laws that we must only have one person in our lives.
Anonymous
November 10th, 2018 8:22am
Don’t commit to one person until you’ve gotten to know them both in a better aspect. Go on dates with both, learn about their lives, and make a better judgement call. It can be overwhelming at times but it’ll all work itself out. You’ll be able to figure it out. Sometimes it’ll just click and you’ll have a realization as to whom to be with. It’s never easy loving more than one person. You just have to figure it out. I don’t have all the answers, and my advice may not always work, but it can help just a little.
Anonymous
November 14th, 2018 4:56pm
loving two different people is not wrong but if you want two people to love thats a big problem find the one who love you most and who care for you most and love him/her and leave other . otherwise you may fall in depression for having two lover. so i think you should leave one and love another one then your life will be shining for sure... but make sure that you did not hurt the other person .. and i my eyes love two people is one kind of cheating so dont do that my friend
When ever a situation like this occurs I think of a quote by Johnny Depp “If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.†I really think that it helps and I really do use it in my life as well as in my listener activity's. I really personally think that quotes are a great way to find words on how you feel but don't have the power to say your self.
Anonymous
February 14th, 2019 7:17pm
I personally have been in a similar situation and I came to learn and understand that if I truly loved the first person, then I would have never loved the second. It is a situation most people find themselves in and they feel lost and confused, but it is a situation that helps you grow and learn your own self worth and helps you to love yourself to a greater extent. If you cannot figure out what your heart wants then open up to the two people you have feelings for and tell them exactly how you are feeling.
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