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Should I go back to him/her?

162 Answers
Last Updated: 07/05/2020 at 4:52pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
India
Moderated by

Shruti Naik, MS in Counselling and Psychotherapy

Psychologist

I'm passionate about providing a non-judgmental & supportive platform to my clients to help them understand & accept themselves & overcome any emotional issues troubling them.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
March 1st, 2018 9:19am
Do you love him or her? That should answer the question but make sure you can be your self around this person
OfcourseItMatters
March 14th, 2018 2:59pm
If you previously experienced 'Red Flags' in your relationship with a person, take time to think about how they affected you in the past and how they could reaffect you as they could possibly come back again. Think about how your mental state will be affected by this person re-entering your life, and the healing process you previously went through. Make sure you evaluate the situation and how you see yourself being affected by the possible outcome of going back.
NoniBlackbird
March 19th, 2018 3:47pm
It depends on the situation, but I believe that there is nothing wrong with giving them another chance.
PixiePip
March 23rd, 2018 2:02pm
It can be difficult to be objective when the end of a relationship comes. And everything will make you want to reach out because you feel lonely, scared, attached. These are all important feelings that you should acknowledge and understand in order to move on in any respect. If you choose to go back then you should understand what you are going back to and why. If you choose to move on then you must acknowledge what you learned from the relationship and from that person in order to make secure and positive choices for relationships for yourself in the future.
shiningGrace80
March 24th, 2018 10:51am
If your mind allows you then only. You might live that person a lot and your heart might want them but your mind always know that whether he or she is right or not.
Anonymous
March 28th, 2018 5:51am
Going back to a person definitely depends on how the relationship stands if the relationship is in good standing and I don't see why not but if the relationship is more of a abusive and it would be recommended that you think about it very carefully knowing the dangers. Can take place some of the dangers could be physical psychological and spiritual
Anonymous
March 31st, 2018 8:40pm
It depends. If the relationship was good, then I say yes. If it was bad, then it may be best to leave it alone.
Daisyloo
April 5th, 2018 1:30pm
What have you learned in your time apart? What has the other person learned in your time apart? Have you each grown and reflected enough to be committed to the changes that need to occur in order for it to be different this go around?
Anonymous
April 7th, 2018 5:53am
if it didn't work out the first time, it probably won't the 2nd time, the 3rd time etc. at the end of the day, you know yourself best.
WMM
April 7th, 2018 11:49am
it depends on how they treated you, whether they are worth it..whether they are willing to fight for you
WonderWoman143
April 7th, 2018 5:29pm
It would depend on the situation! I would say that if you love them, then yes! Forgiveness is always an option. But if going back to them feels like your only option I would give it some thought
miraculousStrawberryxx
April 8th, 2018 9:46am
If it works and you are happy, yes. Maybe rethink it if you anticipate it going down again the same way as before.
aleexiss
April 12th, 2018 9:27pm
This question can only be answered by you. This question needs to be answered by your heart; and your mind. Make sure to take into consideration all the factors, including "Is this person good for your mental health?" and "Are they supportive of you and your future?". You have control over who you choose to surround yourself with so it is important to think about all the different aspects of the situation and then make a decision on whether you think you should go back to them or not. Good luck! :)
Anonymous
April 15th, 2018 8:35pm
Only if you want to go back. If they're okay and want to get back, and you want to get back, then do it. if you both want to get together, then do it and be happy together!
lifefighter1012
April 22nd, 2018 12:26am
You have to analyze the reason why you guys broke up in the first place, was it because of cheating or because there was too much fighting or it was abusive, i don't think its recommendable. But if it were for other reasons like fear of hurting the other person or simply not ready for long term, give it time. Time is the best way to heal wounds and start fresh. If you feel like a piece of you is still with the other person, or if you still wonder how is she/he doing and still care about her/him, you can try again. Everyone deserves a second chance every now and then.
Anonymous
April 22nd, 2018 5:16am
Depends. You must think about the reason you decided to leave the relationship, to begin with. Is continuing the relationship because you want a healthy and tenable relationship? or is it because you want some sort of gratification? As a good start, you should take some time for yourself. Eventually(and I don't know when) your mind will be clear enough to make a rational judgment and you can decide for yourself if it is worth going back to.
eternalPanda00
April 27th, 2018 2:36pm
It depends on what you two have been through. Me, if they cheated or you feel like they used you, no. but if it was something less like they split something on you, maybe. But ultimately it is your decision.
iamyoursilverlining
May 5th, 2018 5:18am
Sometimes people break up because they are unable to communicate or feel the spark at that moment. But, they soon realize after months of separation that they are meant to be together. I feel that if the break-up didn't feel right, I will go back to him/her.
Anonymous
May 19th, 2018 8:18am
depends, but please take your own time before doing so. Take a logical decission not a emotional one. Good idea will be to list down all the issues and see them after a cool off period
UntilThen
May 24th, 2018 10:33pm
Here is how you can tell someone is good for you: - You feel safe with them - They make you happy - They encourage you to live your life independently from them - They do not make you feel guilty or pressure you into anything - They make you feel good about yourself - You feel important to them, even when things are rough - You want to take care of them, but do not feel responsible for their well being - You feel you could trust them in a moment of crisis - You both feel these things mutually
Anonymous
June 1st, 2018 7:01pm
No you should not. Once they left you there are chances they will leave you again.. you should go back to him only if that feeling is true and they love you the same way
beautifulMelody28
June 14th, 2018 12:02am
I think the first thing to consider when wondering is the following: why did you break up? It is essential to pinpoint exactly what led to the relationship failing. Afterwards, the question to ask is: is the reason [that you broke up] still there? Whether it was someone, communication, values... there is a reason why you broke up. If that reason is still there, what makes you think it will be different this time? And finally: why do you want to get back with them? This one is a tricky one. The first answer that comes to mind is "I love him/her" and that is indeed a very easy answer. Dig deeper. Is it because you are simply used to that person? Is it because you feel lonely? Is it because you don't know who you are without them? Good luck! Stay strong x
kindSun777
June 27th, 2018 3:42pm
Does your presence bring happiness to them? Does their presence bring happiness to you? If the answer to both of these questions is yes, then you "should" go back to them.
generousPrince61
July 7th, 2018 3:27pm
You are the expert on you. Only you can decide ultimately if you should go back to him or her. But I would suggest reaching out to friends and family and a counsellor who can help you find clarity on what makes the most sense for you.
Anonymous
July 11th, 2018 9:52am
If they are worth giving for and if they are worth thinking for so yes definitely you should! Just ask yourself only one question that what you are expecting would they be able to give you that .
ifyouknowtocountcountwithme
July 18th, 2018 2:27am
It depends really. Some questions that may help if he or she is abusive either physically or emotionally? If you spend more time hurt than laughing and good time.... Or maybe just this question: What is better for both?
Anonymous
July 18th, 2018 3:37pm
The question is : Why did you break up? Think about it! Is everything that drove you to the break up solved? Do you want him or you are just used to his/her company that you don't know if you want to know how it is to be alone again? Think about every question you had before your breakup and then see if you have all the asnwers. If you do, you should have and answer
RyGuyListener10
July 19th, 2018 6:20am
Do not go back to the past. Whether it is someone you once loved, something that someone said about you, or if it's just a mistake you made. It does no good to visit a world that you can never change; become the person you needed back then so that your future will be thankful.
Bexyb
July 29th, 2018 1:05pm
This is a decision only yourself can make. I would advise to write down pros and cons of the relationship. Also Think about the reasons why you broke up to begin with, to find whether it can truly be fixed. Taking time to really weigh up this decision can avoid a prolonged heartbreak and a further inevitable break up.
wonderousKitty16
August 1st, 2018 7:50pm
Weigh up the pros and cons of the cons outweigh the pros then don’t go back to him or her otherwise rethink of how that person makes you feel if this is balanced and decide whether you see a future with that person