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Should I tell my boyfriend that I cheated?

317 Answers
Last Updated: 08/06/2021 at 10:04am
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Smita Joshi, BA Psychology / MA / Advanced EFT Practitioner


I am empathetic with my Clients going through emotional overwhelm and passionate in helping them. I am supportive, openminded & interactive in helping my clients.

Top Rated Answers
May 16th, 2016 10:06am
Not all times, if you are sure that you will never ever do it again then you can avoid a possible brake up, he maybe doesn't deserve it but all people make mistakes, if you don't feel comfortable hiding it then go tell him if you feel better doing it.
September 16th, 2016 5:57am
Sometimes, it's better unknown. It would hurt him horribly, and he shouldn't have to live with that because you made a dumb decision. I don't support cheating, and you shouldn't do it again, but please spare him from that hurt.
October 12th, 2016 6:55pm
No. He will be hurt and will not understand my moment of weakness. I need to forgive myself and try to be faithful
May 16th, 2015 8:11pm
Of course.... Your boyfriend deserves honesty. He gave you his heart, but you were not satisfied. Don't you think he should have the right to know that he is not loved the way he should be? And... don't you think he has the right to know where he went wrong and why you cheated?
December 12th, 2016 8:28pm
This is quite literally the mots loaded question out there. It truly depends upon your intentions + what you want in the future. Rather than give you a direct answer, let me give you a few things to think about --- do you want to work through this? why did you cheat? how did you feel after you cheated? how do you currently feel about the person you cheated with? will telling him do anything beyond relieve you of the guilt? what do you want from this relationship with your boyfriend? The process of finding answers to those questions might shine a light on the answer to your initial question, as the answer is going to be very personal to you + your relationship.
November 24th, 2017 10:36am
No , just try not to do it again we are all human and make alot of mistakes just forgive yourself and let it go .
September 8th, 2015 10:26am
The way I see it is, in my personal experience I have been cheated on and they took a while to tell me, I would have liked to have known before even if it ruined the relationship but I am glad I know because it is better to know the truth than to not know it at all. Relationships are about loving one another and having the ability to trust the other person and look after them, so yes I think you should tell your boyfriend that you cheated.
July 27th, 2015 1:21pm
Honest is the best policy. Yes, your actions may make him mad & may actually ruin your relationship but I promise that he will respect you more if you're upfront with him. Would you want him to be honest with you if he cheated? Put yourself in his shoes for a moment, I think it is a very good idea to tell him calm and collectively.
July 7th, 2017 6:48am
I learned that my girlfriend of a year cheated on me several times during our relationship. The worst part about it was that I didn't find out from her. I found out from one of our mutual friends. That hurt me more than anything. She didn't have the guts to tell me and it broke my heart. I think you should tell him. He deserves to know. My motto is that if you've cheated on your partner, then the relationship was over the moment that choice was made. You can't have two people and by cheating, you've chosen the other person. I hate to be so blunt about it, but that's just how things work unfortunately.
February 17th, 2017 7:45am
If you truly regret your cheating, and you have trust in yourself that you will now be always loyal to your partner, then you don't have to tell about what you did, but if you are constantly living with some guilt feeling or don't think completely that you did something which you should not,then your partner has every right to know the truth,
April 2nd, 2015 12:34am
To answer questions like this, I believe that it's easier to find the answer when you flip the question around. So rather than asking if I should tell my boyfriend that I cheated, flip it to "would I want to know if my boyfriend cheated". If the answer is yes, then tell him, if the answer is no, then you can choose to not tell him.
May 24th, 2015 5:14am
It is impossible to state a universal answer to this question that will work for all situations. Some things to consider, however, are as follows: 1. Will telling your boyfriend create an unsafe environment for you? Will he react in a manner that may put you in danger? 2. Have you always been open and honest with no instances of retaliation or judgment? 3. Do you feel telling your boyfriend will have a positive/negative impact on your long-term relationship? There are many other things you should consider before proceeding. Once you feel you are ready to open up about the topic of cheating, ensure you have some supporters to lean on in case the discussion does not go as planned, or even if you are unsure about what to say in order to help manage the situation. Only you can know how to approach this situation, and I know you will follow your heart and make the best decision that you are able to make when the time comes.
October 2nd, 2017 9:22am
That depends on if it’s something that will eat away at you if you don’t. Or if you want to stay with your boyfriend, have no plans or wants to be with anyone else and you know that your cheating is a past memory that won’t bother you because you know it was a mistake and you can forgive yourself for it. I understand wanting to be truthful and 100% honest and transparent in a relationship but sometimes the truth doesn’t do any good. Sometimes it just hurts leaving your relationship broken and possibly so badly so that you can’t fix it. Him knowing most likely will just leave him hurt and feel like he’s not enough, and quite possibly ending the relationship leaving both of you heartbroken..Unless he’s amazing and forgives you for your mistakes and understands why and how it happened. Just remember it you choose to be brave and she this with him , you’ll never be able to take it back and you will always be labeled as a “cheater” and unfortunately sometimes word gets around. Yes, I’m speaking from experience. I hope this helps and that you do what feels right and what’s best for you.
March 3rd, 2015 10:13pm
Yes, keeping the secret to yourself will only make you become paranoid and feel more guilty everyday. And once you tell your partner the truth and explain yourself, you could both try and work something out together and help each other to move on from the situation.
July 7th, 2015 4:56am
Yes! Honesty is the only option that should ever be available. Even though circumstances may be hard to deal with after, it will be on high moral ground and you will have nothing to hide. Plus you will know you did the right thing to tell the truth. If you lie, then even though it may be easier in the moment, in the future keeping lies can cause even more pain. In addition, if you are eventually caught then the lying will make everything worse. Therefore, all acts of cheating must be confessed.
March 22nd, 2016 6:34am
It is better to have come from you then anyone else out there. It would hurt him either way but it would make him more mad if some1 else tells him then you telling him.
September 15th, 2016 9:47am
Absolutely. The trust might be gone afterwards, but he will respect you so much more if you do tell him. The trust can be built back, with dedication from both sides.
September 7th, 2015 3:14am
This is not a one answer fits all question, However, you have to do what is best for you and also you both as a couple. Think about if you were in his shoes and he cheated on you? Would you want to know? Would you be upset? The biggest things in a relationship should always be Trust and Honesty. You can't have that if you cheat and then don't tell the truth about it afterwards.
September 14th, 2015 7:27pm
This is your choice. But if you ask me, personally, I would. The basic thing in a relationship (whatever it is) is trust. If I would cheat my girlfriend I would of course tell her, because she has the right to decide what to do after having known it. I can't deny her this right.
October 15th, 2016 10:11pm
Yes, Honesty is the best policy. It may or may not go your way but being honest still proves that you're willing to tell the truth to your loved one.
December 30th, 2016 5:16am
This is a difficult question, some would immediately say yes, others no, I think it depends on your situation. If you feel that not telling your partner is going to cause issues, that you won't be able to resolve, then maybe the answer is yes. For some people, the only way to forgive themselves and have a clear conscious is to tell their partner the truth, apologise and hope they can be forgiven. However, if this was a one of action, that you don't intend to repeat and feel remorse for but feel you can forgive yourself for - as long as there is no other way of your partner finding out - perhaps it will only cause unnecessary hurt. The answer is really down to how you feel and what you think is best for your relationship.
November 5th, 2015 9:19pm
You should do it,be fair atleast now let him know what you did and why . Be true to him tell him the reason you did it and everything you have to say. I don't think is fair what you did. I got cheat i forgave and I regret i did it but this is my case :). He may understand you ,he may leave in both cases he deserves to know the truth .
November 3rd, 2016 6:38pm
Revealing something like that to a partner is entirely your choice. If you feel it is the right thing to do and will help you to feel better then do so. It is a very personal and intricate decision and varies from case to case.
February 18th, 2018 9:01pm
Sometimes a lie is better than the truth. If you love him, and realized you made a mistake, that will not happen again, you should keep it to yourself. But if you feel the urge to do it again, tell him, he deserves respect as well afterall
October 8th, 2016 10:46pm
Honesty is the main foundation for any good relationship. If you will lie to him then you can't truly care about him and he deserves to know at the very least so he can decide the consequences of your actions. You need to accept you have done something terrible to him and as a person when telling him but you must tell him.
December 16th, 2016 5:32pm
Ask yourself a few questions before you decide. If your boyfriend cheated on you, would you want to know? If the relationship could result in long-term or life-term, could you live with that secret? And most importantly, can you forgive yourself and not make that mistake again? Be honest with yourself and the answer will come to you. But should you decide to tell him, be aware of all the possible repercussions of your confession and know that you can live with anything he decides. Good luck!
November 11th, 2016 8:15am
Yes, as much as you don't want to hurt him its best to be straight forward with him. I'm sure it'll be best for you to tell him first before someone else does.
May 21st, 2015 5:18am
I have to think about whether I had done right or wrong. At some reason I must regret having an cheated with him, and the other reason I should know if I'm doing the right thing. If I do not get along with my boyfriend, I have to come clean to him and apologized. Though I know it also hurts him. But I have to give him time to accept all of this. And hope he will be fine, so do I.
June 17th, 2015 1:05am
Ofcourse Yes. Trust is so important in a relationship.If you hide it that guilt will stay as long as you are
September 15th, 2016 3:18pm
Yes, as much as it hurts, you need to. Truth and honesty strengthens relationships, forgiveness is tough but earned. If you don't tell him, and he finds out, then it's over. If you tell him and you beg for his forgiveness, and want to prove yourself, then he should give you a chance at least.