Should I tell my boyfriend that I cheated?

241 Answers
Last Updated: 11/13/2019 at 10:34pm
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Top Rated Answers
GirlFromTheWoods
December 7th, 2017 7:24pm
It's a difficult decision, because contrary to the common belief the truth is not always the best solution. By keeping this information to yourself you might spare the other person considerable grief. However, the weight of your secret may influence how you function in a relationship and it also may affect it negatively. You should take a moment to think if you want to stay in this relationship at all - maybe it is time to break up, and if so, telling the other person that you cheated will not make any difference.
allnaturalUnicorns70
December 8th, 2017 5:33pm
Well, I'd want to know what your intention would be. Is it to "get it off your own chest"? Is it to make your relationship closer? maybe you'd need to consider his feelings?
Anonymous
January 3rd, 2018 5:58am
Yes you should tell him. The hardest thing to gain in a relationship is trust. And when someone violates that it hurts both. Being a man that had been cheated on by every woman I've ever been with the most important thing to me is trust. If rather my woman just come out and tell me then to lie to me about it. Me and my wife have been togather for years after I was cheated on bc the truth came out and we worked past it. It may not work out that way for you but atleast you would have that Burden off your shoulders. At the very least it might bring you to a point in your relationship to either build or move on.
GlowingDirtWorm
January 10th, 2018 12:50am
If your boyfriend cheated on you would you want him to tell you ? I think honesty will hurt at first but in the long run will be for the best . From there you both can decide that the relationship isn’t working for you or work on repairing things.
earthbaby
January 11th, 2018 6:48pm
Yes. Honesty is the best way to move forward. Whether he forgives you for your actions or not, the chances of you firstly: being able to deal with the guilt and not tell him eventually, and secondly: him finding out, are very slim. If you explain yourself as soon as you can, perhaps there's a way to ease the situation and heal. You also owe it to him, as somebody you love, to be truthful and let him take a decision of how he wants to continue & if he wants to continue the relationship.
Anonymous
January 18th, 2018 2:16pm
Hello, Yes I think it would be in your best interest to let your boyfriend know you cheated. I was personally cheated on and wasn't aware of it till I found out by someone else. It's best to let your partner know what you've done coming from you than someone else. It's okay to make mistakes and don't be afraid to let them know the truth.
Anonymous
January 18th, 2018 7:09pm
Sometimes, you already know in your heart whether you should or not. Even if you are afraid, honesty is usually the best policy. A relationship founded on lies is like a building without a foundation - it will eventually tumble over. Consider asking yourself why you cheated in the first place. Are there some emotional or physical needs that you have that your current partner is not meeting? Consider discussing this with them.
J4ck
January 19th, 2018 9:59pm
Yes. My personal belief is that you should be as open and as honest as possible in any relationship. It isn't ideal, but if you tell him yourself and give him your rationale then it is possible to keep it strong (if that is your intention). It will be much worse if he finds out through someone else. "The truth will never hurt as much as the exposure of a lie"
Anonymous
January 20th, 2018 1:27pm
First off, ask yourself why you cheated. Was it a heat of the moment thing, or was it because you weren't getting something you needed from your boyfriend? If there's something lacking in your relationship you should address that first, or if you're done with the relationship just break up with him. But if you want the relationship to keep going, then yes, tell him.
Anonymous
January 20th, 2018 9:27pm
honesty is the best policy and sometimes it's the opposite. It all depends if you want to stay together with him or not and if he's forgiving.
ifyouknowtocountcountwithme
January 31st, 2018 9:22pm
It's always up to you sweetheart. But I would feel like lying and uncomfortable without saying it. I would feel like our relationship lacks something. But that's just me.
bouncyFriend13
February 1st, 2018 9:17am
I think that u should. It might make him upset, but he will be thanful that u told him instead of others
softPuppy94
February 2nd, 2018 2:54pm
Well, I myself would tell because, I don’t like keeping secrets. But, it’s best to come from you, then someone else.... I learned that the hard way...
Anonymous
February 3rd, 2018 11:38pm
Yes. Ask yourself if you'd want to know if you were the one that was cheated on. Consider how you'd feel if you found out from someone else that your partner had cheated and give that same consideration to your partner and tell him.
Smileagain145
February 4th, 2018 3:10am
My opinion is yes,you should tell you boyfriend that you cheated.if you ask me why then i can say there are several reasons. First, every relationship start with loyalty if you think you did mistake go to him and tell him maybe that can break his heart or he get angry with you but he will understand.2ndly, truth never get hidden for a long time,some he will know that you cheated on him by someone else, that would be the very end of your relationship. So it's better to tell him today before he got those information by someone else. Just go to him ask him how much he loves you,ask him is he gonna leave you if you do something very wrong? Then tell him about what you have done.politely.
Anonymous
February 7th, 2018 4:37am
You should definitely tell him, especially cause he will find out sooner or later. It will be better if he hears it from you rather than someone else
Lulubell21
February 8th, 2018 1:20pm
Healthy relationships are always based on trust. It may be a horrible conversation to have but if you don't, you may feel like the secret eats you up and the relationship suffers. It is always best to be as honest as you can.
Anonymous
February 8th, 2018 4:56pm
Do you think he should know? Would you want to know if it was your boyfriend who was the one cheating?
Anonymous
February 9th, 2018 2:28pm
Yeah, it is better if they know. It may be really upsetting and hard to do...but if you both love each other, then it should be overcome...especially if you are honest
TheNiceZombie
February 11th, 2018 8:11am
Yes, as much as hard as it may seem, you should tell him and try to decided what is best for both of you
Anonymous
February 15th, 2018 8:37pm
It’s always good to be honest, especially with the people that you love. It is, of course, going to sprout some obstacles but if you truly love each other, you will find a way to get through it together.
ErinEnders
February 17th, 2018 5:25pm
I encourage you to do so. There are, indeed, many possible outcomes, but you may take into consideration the fact that guilt and fear might affect you and your relationship much, much more in the future, if you don't discuss about this now. You can discuss about what made you cheat on him, maybe there are some unresolved problems in your relationship. It can be a good point to start building trust and be even more intimate, spiritually. Openness and forgiveness are crucial in any relationship. You may also consult other friends or relatives who know both of you, in order to find some good ways to tell him.
Mariaaa00
February 22nd, 2018 1:10am
I know its hard to be upfront with someone you do not want to make upset, but its best to be honest. If you're not honest in the beginning, it could potentially ruin any trust you guys have in the future.
Cpcoleman1WSU
March 1st, 2018 10:38am
Yes, because the longer you don't the more your guilt will build and one day you'll basically word vomit it to him, and that will be a mess.
genuineGabby97
March 1st, 2018 8:38pm
Yes you should. It may be tough to even get the words out to tell him but if you were him, you would want to know too. It's okay and know you are doing the right thing.
Anonymous
March 2nd, 2018 6:52am
I would say YES right away! This very feeling would drain you out of constant guilt consciousness. Also, it's not fair enough for your boy friend to be unaware of this. Not opening up initially might have undesirable effects i the future.
Anonymous
March 2nd, 2018 1:29pm
Well it's good to be truthful ,but you need to be strong for what ever after effects of saying a truth
Anonymous
March 11th, 2018 7:29am
Yes, A healthy relationship starts with communication. If he no longer wants to be a part of your life, then now it's just a life lesson and something you may need to work on.
Anonymous
March 27th, 2018 5:50am
You should. As hard as it may be for you, he needs to know the truth before he finds out another way and thinks that you lied to him and wanted to keep it from him. Telling him shows that you feel bad and can't hurt him by not telling him.
anotherfrenchtoastmafiaa
March 28th, 2018 6:52pm
Just flip the coin, if he were you and you were he, would you want him to tell you? He deserves to know. Just know, a sad truth is better than a happy lie.