Spying on ex's social media - since my breakup I can't stop from monitoring. Is that okay?
306 Answers
Last Updated: 06/06/2022 at 1:11pm
★ This question about Breakups was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
Moderated by
Lindsay Scheinerman, MA, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
My work with clients is to help them recognize and build on their strengths to find solutions for the conflicts presented in their lives.
Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
January 6th, 2016 12:06am
No, it is not okay but it is normal if you steal feel for him but, it might not help you from moving on
Anonymous
January 6th, 2016 2:48am
It is okay. It is natural. But if you want to move on, you should control yourself. Its best if you stop it or block him and get a better life.
It's ok if it's making you feel better. If you find yourself dwelling on the break up because of it, it probably isn't. Take a break for a week and see how you feel. If you find that seeing their posts is making you sad, consider unfollowing them. Your wellbeing comes first and you should do your best to worry about you instead of them.
You can stop monitoring. Usually when this happens you're still hung up on this ex. What you need to do is get out there and get back on the horse again. Once you find someone new, that ex will go from the front of your mind to the back, or disappear completely.
this would just hurt your feelings and nothing more so you should try not to think about it....you can even block him so you can keep away from him
Anonymous
January 8th, 2016 4:55pm
No, it is not okay.If the relationship ended, accept it and move on.You are better than a stalker and have much more important things to do with your life than stalk someone.Have some self-esteem!
Anonymous
January 9th, 2016 4:31pm
I think it's okay, but it's not good for you. It just showes that you can't get over him and you want to know every single thing he is doing. You should let him go or at least try, and focus on other things that make you happy in your life. :)
No you are only hurting yourself. There is a reason why it did not work out. Keep yourself distracted !
Anonymous
January 13th, 2016 12:23pm
Well,it is okay until you create problems for your ex or yourself. And if you can't resist from viewing,better block them :P
It's normal after a breakup, I'm sure everybody does this but it is best to try and let them go. It won't help to be obsessing over their life, when you could go out and have your own fun, and not worry about what your ex is doing. I would say try and stop spying on their account and to just have your own fun 😊
There is nothing wrong with having curiosity, asking yourself "What´s up with her/him?". Continuously spying on someone´s media can and will only be harmful to you. Moving on will be significantly harder with constant reminders of the other´s life as it triggers emotions that we can't really control. Peek at your own risk but if it´s not going to help you better not even have the temptation and block or delete that person´s media; if you simply can't do it, ask a friend to do it for you, but one you can definitely trust.
Anonymous
January 15th, 2016 5:22pm
I've done that too. Once you've fully moved on you won't feel the urge to anymore. Try working harder to focus on yourself, which is what's really important.
Anonymous
January 15th, 2016 11:26pm
I think it's something that most people are guilty of after a relationship however it isn't particularly helpful or productive. Social media only shows what that person wants the world to see.
No it is not. You wont move on if you keep doing so. Please either delete or block him to stop yourself.
Anonymous
January 21st, 2016 4:35pm
No, it isn't. I understand maybe you went through a rough break up? Would you like to talk about that.
Anonymous
January 22nd, 2016 12:11am
No! no! NO! its bad it shows you still have an attachment and its time to cut that string in half and stop it from growing longer!!
Anonymous
January 22nd, 2016 8:40am
No. That is considered stalking spying is never a good nor right thing to do. It is very wrong and you could get caught.
Anonymous
January 23rd, 2016 4:27pm
Thats completely fine as you are not over the breakup. However, in time you must reduce the amount of spying as this can become unhealthy for you.
It's normal to want to see what your ex is doing but don't let it become a habit. Watching other people and envying their new life is unhealthy.
How long have you been separated? It'd be normal if you just broke up. It's part of the denial stage - the checking up on him/her. It wouldn't be normal if you broke up a couple of years ago, and you're still hung up on him/her.
Anonymous
January 27th, 2016 7:14pm
So you recently broke up and now you feel the need to find out somehow what your ex is up to? Why do you think you are feeling like this?
Hey. Spying on ex's social media is tempting, but don't do it. Don't fall prey to temptation, especially if you want to get over them. Remember; while you are busy spying they are out living life! To get over the temptation of wanting to spy on them go out and have fun, do something entertaining. It will be the best thing, I promise :)
Anonymous
January 29th, 2016 5:49pm
No its not okay because its not healthy, yeah it can be tempting but it will hurt to find things you dont want to see
Anonymous
January 30th, 2016 1:01am
Well, to an outsider it may seem obsessive and even implying an un-severed attachment to your ex...
Anonymous
January 30th, 2016 5:50am
No its not. Then whats the point of breakup. You had a breakup because what you wanted is peace. But by doing so you are simply worring about it. And by doing so you will only lead to an unpeacefull mind.
Yes, it's okay to check up on their social media every once in awhile to see what they're up too. A lot of people do it!
How does it make you feel? How would you feel if someone did the same thing to you, assuming you didn't have any feelings anymore?
It's normal that we check out how our ex is doing from time to time just because this is a person who we once deeply cared about, but if this effects your everyday life, it's best to find someone to talk with about this.
Anonymous
February 3rd, 2016 9:31pm
you should not do it because what he does is none of your busness i did it once and i got pummeled k
It's going to make it a lot harder for you to move on from the relationship. It would be good for you to take a break from social media for a while and stop checking up on them.
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