Spying on ex's social media - since my breakup I can't stop from monitoring. Is that okay?

9 times out of 10 it does more harm than good. If you find yourself looking at their social media you tend to think things like "What are they doing", "Who are they doing it with", "Are they happy or sad without me", or the common gaze upon their pictures and reminisce in what you had. But the common trend is quite simple. You will likely not know as much as you used to about their day to day life. It's hard to accept it but there is a reason why the relationship ended. Whether it be in your control or not, the ending of a relationship changes a lot of factors. Quite frankly, it tends to not ever truly go back to the way things were. Every relationship after that is a different relationship. Even with the same person, even if it's a day after. There is a concept in psychology called "rumination" meaning to focus on thoughts that cause emotional distress. It's a reaction based in anxiety. We focus on the causes and where it has left us rather than the solution. I advocate you don't stare on your ex's social media, because there is no solution there.

No, you should leave it as it would just bring up habits of spying on people on social media and in town as well.

No its not since it will never you get over your ex and never let you stay happy so its better not to really do it.

No, but it's natural to be honest. Just slowly realize how much you do it and take it from there. If you really feel the urge a lot just block it for now, at least for a few days to a week is my suggestion.

It's natural curiosity to want to see what your ex is up to in the beginning - to a point. However, if it's become an obsession, then you are heading into dangerous territory. It's best to keep your distance or else you can easily fall into a 'stalker' mode - which is not healthy for you or the person you're 'monitoring'.

It is okay,that means that you are concerned about him.If you really can't stop you should just become with him again.

No, this is not okay. You are only preventing yourself from moving on. Sometimes distance is needed to gain closure in a relationship.

Monitoring is fine, spying is not. If you feel you've crossed the line then you already have the answer to your question.

I have done this. But only to a certain amount. You can't get too carried away with it because you will never fully move on watching then move on.

I believe that it's natural that you still have curiosity about how he/she is doing in life. "Social Media" just made it easier nowadays. After breakups, different couples experience different things. Some get over it pretty quickly, some can leave years of lasting impressions. If I were you I'd do a self-reflection and see why it is that I keep coming back to his/her social media and question yourself, is that really who you want to be? For example, some people can't get over the fact that their significant other is doing much better than they are and by monitoring social media they know that their SO is happy with their new life and it crushes them. In this case, why would you do this to yourself? You also deserve to not be burden by the heartbreak. But if it's, for example, you want to know that he/she is doing fine in life and that you're happy to know that the breakup was not as devastating for him/her, then is that not a positive thing to do? :) Good luck with this, mate :)

Sometimes curiosity will drive us to keep tabs on old flames. Yet, it prevents us from ever fully moving on. Find a way to reach closure--then, press forward. This habit can prove harmful to future relationships.

no if you want to move on try to stop yourself spying your ex that hurts u try to keep always from the things related to your ex

It's a natural thing to do for people after breakup, but you should know when to stop and start moving forward with your life too.

It is perfectly okay to be curious to know how your ex is doing, unless you allow it interfere with your everyday activities. Although, it's best to not know, remind yourself every time you snoop around that, you are looking at the person's account, just for information. This information will not help you in anyway. If you keep this basic concept in mind, it's okay to look around their social media in the same way that you'd look around a distant friend's account..

It depends on why you are doing it and how you do it. While on one hand it can help some people move on faster, for others it can create more confusion. The best idea is to ask yourself why you continue to check out their social media. If you are honest with your answers to yourself, you may be able to see that you do not need to do that often or even at all. There is a point where it may become too much, in which case you should ask yourself what do you really get out of spying on their social media accounts! Hope this helps!🙂

Yea, it's normal it shows you still care, maybe tell her how you still feel. Or if it was for an unsettling reason maybe just let it blow over.

No. Don't ever bother. If you are so concerned about someone you need to spy on their social media websites, you already know that you can't trust them, and it will just hurt you more. No one has ever looked at someone else's Facebook messages, and said, well that went better than expected.

There's nothing wrong about it. Everyone has done the same at least once or more in their lives. I have done it too. but this will just make you more sad or feel like you are wasting your time. You will start to put every his words in your situation which is wrong in most of cases. Sometimes you just have to let it go and look for other things. Try to seek for other activities you can enjoy. Exercising, travelling, watching netflix or even just talking a little walk outside when the weather is nice! Dress up and go shopping! Meeting new people or stay with people who give you comfort. In my case, i started making soybean candles :) try to find something you can distract yourself from him or her. you can also give it a good time to think about what has ruined the relationship and what still bothers you after the breakup. Then you will figure out what to do next. You can move on or talk to your ex in person. I hope this helps! ♥

It's okay - but it won't help you get past or the closure you need to get past the breakup. In the end, it'll only bring up hurt or angry feelings that hold you back from moving on.

You are spying on your ex'x social media as in looking at what is on his FB page or signing on his account?

It's totally okay, I can feel you, but it's unhealthy. It makes you further from moving on. Have a good day!

That is perfectly fine. It is normal. When you are dating someone that you knew what everything Is going on in his/her life then to not knowing at all. It's just cause you care about there wellbeing

I 100% know how your feeling! When me and my ex boyfriend broke up it was all i did.. Sometimes i still do! I think it's perfectly normal as your not over that person yet!

If you have feelings you need sorting out, then perhaps it is the best you do that. Perhaps your relationship ended abruptly, you need to acknowledge your actions and trust that everything will turn out for the best in the future. For you and for your partner.

It's okay to a certain point, but in the end, all your doing is hurting yourself. I suggest blocking your ex.

You need to focus on moving on. Monitoring them won't help you move forward if your focus is them. You should focus on yourself.

It's not exactly healthy to be spying on your ex. You need to distract yourself from him/her with different activities. Sooner or later, you do move on! :)

It's normal to be curious about your ex. You may wonder what he/her is up to, has he met someone new, and so on. In the end, it's not that good to check up on him/her. When you see pictures of your ex it can bring back both memories and feelings, expecially if the break up is fresh. I would recommend not to check up on your ex, at least not for a while. It's your ex for a reason, and checking up on him/her too often it's not good for you. You need to focus on yourself right now, and not stress over someone who's not in your life anymore.

It is normal to do this, but it won't help you move on. Eventually you should block yourself from viewing his profiles. It may be hard at first, but you will benefit from it in the long run.

The only thing coming up from monitoring your ex is: hurting your self and staying on that stucked situation! You should give more credit to your self and continue your life....or you could just try to "face" your ex if you think it could work again than monitoring him!