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What do I do if my ex keeps contacting me?

309 Answers
Last Updated: 03/20/2021 at 5:12pm
What do I do if my ex keeps contacting me?
★ This question about Breakups was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
1 Tip to Feel Better
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I help guide clients to create positive change in a non-judgmental and supportive atmosphere.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
July 23rd, 2015 11:22pm
if asking him politely does not stop him, what i found most useful was to seek one of his friends for help, no one's friends wants to see that person making a fool of itself. what is most important is that you dont stop doing the things you like or going to the places you usually frequent because an ex is making you feel uncomfortable
tidyKiwi5130
January 6th, 2016 9:58pm
You should tell them to stop if its bothering you. If they don't you can ignore it or block them all together, because no one should be allowed to bring you down :)
Anonymous
January 29th, 2016 4:36am
If you don't want nothing with him, tell him to stop annoying you, and if he keeps doing it block him
Anonymous
June 1st, 2016 12:08am
I had this same issue. This girl is persistent. After telling her in person and through text not to contact me anymore, she would totally disregard and still keep going on. She actually said to block her #, but then make a fake # the following day to text me. This was a special case. I had to go to the police. While i was at the police station, she showed up at my house. Officers came and told her not to come back. I hope she finally got the hint since me saying it outright wasn't enough. I spent some time here with a listener about it. The listener really helped for me to at least get it off my chest and tell my story. The sad truth, is that this girl is 33 with 2 kids yet still acts like this. Can you imagine? Best of luck in your situation. I know it's not a picnic by any means.
serenekindness66
June 7th, 2016 6:55am
Don't respond in anyway. Responding will only promote more contact. If necessary change your phone number, email, and any other contact information. Your friends will understand and it will be worth the effort.
Anonymous
September 17th, 2016 9:00pm
If you arent fond of them contacting you, simply ask them to please stop and leave you alone. You shouldn't feel like you are put in a corner.
Kat140615xx
September 18th, 2016 3:00pm
Block or delete them so they cannot contact you, there an ex for a reason. Moving forward in your life is best instead of holding onto the past,
Anonymous
September 22nd, 2016 11:50am
You can 'block' him/her in ways such as social media. You could also remove the contacts that both of you save each other numbers
Anonymous
June 21st, 2015 7:10pm
He is still not over you. Help another human who still has feelings for you in his heart to outgrow it. However keep reminding him that you dont have any feelings for him now. You ll feel better by helping another person. Look at it this way. Hope this helps!
sadi1994
July 8th, 2015 9:51pm
Do they mean well? Are you still in love with them and wouldn't mind giving them another chance? If so, feel free to reply back. However, if you wish to have nothing to do them, clearly let them know so. Explain it to them that you both are adults who wish for the best for one another, which is why you think it is best that you two do not keep in touch.
musicalDew34
January 7th, 2016 7:33pm
Talk to them. See to that matter. If you are intrested too then its good else call 911.................
Righthere321
January 21st, 2016 12:35am
All depends on how messy the breakup was, how you feel towards your ex now, and what they are texting.
Anonymous
January 24th, 2016 7:21pm
Ask them to stop contacting you. If it's over social media, block them. If it's over text, block them and change your number
hearnospeaknoseeno
February 5th, 2016 6:41am
Change phone numbers. It is the most effective way, so much so that I'm considering adding this as a new skill to my resume.
delightfulHand34
September 21st, 2016 9:00pm
If you have moved on they need to know if taking doesn't get through to them although it may seem harsh it is as easy as anything to press the block button on them, no more messages
Anonymous
October 3rd, 2016 7:46pm
You should start by asking them nicely to stop contacting you and if that doesn't work then maybe you should just try and block them or if it gets really extreme call the cops
Anonymous
June 25th, 2018 11:08pm
Tell them to not contact you anymore and explain why. Depending on the severity and content of the messages, block them or report them to your organisation.
TomUK64
May 15th, 2015 6:04pm
I found that difficult. I was with my first partner for nearly 9 years. We split up just before he went to prison. I then discovered that he had been living a double life and had another partner in another flat in London. I had no idea. When he went to prison (money fraud - again - I had no idea), I felt so stupid and gullible. Of course I should have known. The signs were there but I ignored them. Then he contacted me and wanted me to visit him in prison. I thought - why? He's just put me through hell. But I did visit him and, looking back, I realise that I did it for me. It helped me put him into the past. It also helped me accept that I would possibly never get all the answers to all the questions that I had. But that was ok. I could move on. When I started dating again, it was difficult to trust someone. I remember following a boyfriend to work one day just to double-check that he was actually going to work! So it took a while to re-build my trust for someone else. But, one step at a time, I did learn to trust again. Years later, I'm happily married and that time feels a lifetime ago.
openmindopenheart7
June 23rd, 2015 5:25am
Don't look backwards, keep moving forward onto something new. Theyre your EX For a reason, don't forget.
cellardoor1985
June 27th, 2015 1:16am
try your best to explain your position and that it is best for him/her to move on. try to be patient and understanding with them with possible, but always keep your personal boundaries your top priority.
Anonymous
July 1st, 2015 7:45pm
Avoid at all cost. Your ex,consciously made a decision to keep you away from being a part of their life. Now they are back either because they are curious or because of desperation to
lunasaver
July 3rd, 2015 3:45am
Depends on the situation If they hurt you in anyway, you ignore them. Never run back to what hurt you. If you both still love each other, try it again. Everyone deserves a second chance, but not for the same reason.
maskedanonymous
July 4th, 2015 3:59pm
If you hate him, call him back and make sure he sees or hears and regrets the one that he let go. Boom.
sweetSun27
July 10th, 2015 7:31pm
If my ex boyfriend keeps contacting me I take a step back and remember the reason why we stopped talking in the first place.
Anonymous
August 5th, 2015 12:51pm
No relationship should be deprived of compassion - But, do give them the clarity of where you stand with them, and you can't fulfill their expectations for certain reasons. Personally, I would try and keep things on a positive note. However, if they're abusive or irrational then you might decide to take a more firm action...
HumIlityTurnsMenToAngels
August 12th, 2015 4:29am
Show how strong you are, and dont reply, stand by the decisions that have been made. That is one thing about being a grown up, you must stand by your decisions,
Anonymous
August 16th, 2015 4:06am
Kindly, explain to your ex what is on your mind and how making contact is making you feel. Ask him or her to acknowledge your feelings and the impact it is having on you as a person. This will help them realize how much this is affecting you.
softJoy97
August 29th, 2015 10:55am
Its all depends on you. if you still love your ex than maybe you can pick up the call. talk to you ex and sort out the problems together. if you al ready move on, than you can just block your ex or even change your phone number. you knows the best what is better.
ImL
September 8th, 2015 7:15pm
Tell them you don't want to speak to them anymore. If they persist on contacting you change your number and block them on all social medias.
Anonymous
January 1st, 2016 5:09am
You could say for them to leave you alone. If that doesn't work block them. If they start stalking you or do anything illegal call the police and they will probably get arrested. If that happens place a restraining over