Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

What do I do if my ex keeps contacting me?

310 Answers
Last Updated: 05/17/2022 at 5:27pm
What do I do if my ex keeps contacting me?
★ This question about Breakups was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
1 Tip to Feel Better
Portugal
Moderated by

Jennifer Patterson, LMFT

Art Therapist

Life can be messy. Sometimes you need a little support to make your way through it. I love to help guide people through their challenges & to find the beauty in our messes.

Top Rated Answers
Aniikama
August 2nd, 2016 3:47am
It's possible they may still like you. Just explain to them you wish not to talk to them and block them.
Elleh
January 21st, 2016 10:47pm
I think that depends on your relationship and the breakup really. If you were on good terms then perhaps you can politely ask them to stop contacting you and that will be enough. If it wasn't so good and/or asking them to stop hasn't worked then it might be best to block them from contacting you where ever possible. If they still won't leave you alone and you feel you are being harassed by them then this more serious and it will probably best to speak to someone about this and get some extra help and support, especially if you need to report them to the authorities. If it is bothering you and making you feel bad then it is not acceptable and you do not have to put up with this.
Kat140615xx
September 18th, 2016 3:00pm
Block or delete them so they cannot contact you, there an ex for a reason. Moving forward in your life is best instead of holding onto the past,
Anonymous
January 13th, 2016 12:30pm
Well, you can be friends with him/her. If you feel like being disturbed, be straightforward.I hope your ex understands!
Anonymous
June 1st, 2016 12:08am
I had this same issue. This girl is persistent. After telling her in person and through text not to contact me anymore, she would totally disregard and still keep going on. She actually said to block her #, but then make a fake # the following day to text me. This was a special case. I had to go to the police. While i was at the police station, she showed up at my house. Officers came and told her not to come back. I hope she finally got the hint since me saying it outright wasn't enough. I spent some time here with a listener about it. The listener really helped for me to at least get it off my chest and tell my story. The sad truth, is that this girl is 33 with 2 kids yet still acts like this. Can you imagine? Best of luck in your situation. I know it's not a picnic by any means.
chanelellierhea5
January 6th, 2016 11:20pm
If your ex keeps contacting you after a break up when you don't want to hear from them, make sure you are clear to them that you do not want any contact with them and if they still continue to contact you, I recommend blocking their number and profiles from social media.
Uniqueg
October 23rd, 2014 9:56pm
It depends if it makes you uncomfortable, let them know how it makes you feel and be firm with your decision.
Anonymous
September 17th, 2016 9:00pm
If you arent fond of them contacting you, simply ask them to please stop and leave you alone. You shouldn't feel like you are put in a corner.
Anonymous
July 23rd, 2015 11:22pm
if asking him politely does not stop him, what i found most useful was to seek one of his friends for help, no one's friends wants to see that person making a fool of itself. what is most important is that you dont stop doing the things you like or going to the places you usually frequent because an ex is making you feel uncomfortable
Anonymous
April 19th, 2016 5:34pm
You could try telling a trusted adult to help you out with this issue, or you can try telling him to stop contacting you if its making you feel uncomfortable or threatened.
Anonymous
June 25th, 2018 11:08pm
Tell them to not contact you anymore and explain why. Depending on the severity and content of the messages, block them or report them to your organisation.
Lalaxoxo
January 1st, 2016 5:56pm
If it's a contact that you do not want to speak to, personally myself would block them from any social media/numbers so they cannot get in contact. If they use different numbers/accounts to contact, myself would class this as harassment and would tell someone I trust, even if you need to speak to the police about this to make you feel more staff. If you haven't told them you don't want to speak to them, for closure maybe it may be the best thing to speak to them about before doing so.
Anonymous
January 1st, 2016 5:09am
You could say for them to leave you alone. If that doesn't work block them. If they start stalking you or do anything illegal call the police and they will probably get arrested. If that happens place a restraining over
Anonymous
October 3rd, 2016 7:46pm
You should start by asking them nicely to stop contacting you and if that doesn't work then maybe you should just try and block them or if it gets really extreme call the cops
sadi1994
July 8th, 2015 9:51pm
Do they mean well? Are you still in love with them and wouldn't mind giving them another chance? If so, feel free to reply back. However, if you wish to have nothing to do them, clearly let them know so. Explain it to them that you both are adults who wish for the best for one another, which is why you think it is best that you two do not keep in touch.
delightfulHand34
September 21st, 2016 9:00pm
If you have moved on they need to know if taking doesn't get through to them although it may seem harsh it is as easy as anything to press the block button on them, no more messages
musicalDew34
January 7th, 2016 7:33pm
Talk to them. See to that matter. If you are intrested too then its good else call 911.................
briaannasaurus
January 24th, 2016 7:27pm
You should ignore them and block them. Make it clear that you don't want them to reach you. If they consistently try and contact you, confront them in person with a friend and tell them to stop.
Anonymous
February 11th, 2016 1:09am
Calmly explain to them that you do not wish to keep contact with them and ask them to stop messaging you. If that doesn't work, block their number so you don't receive the messages anymore.
Anonymous
February 6th, 2016 4:49pm
Tell them to stop stop calling and if they don't, then tell them you are going to call the police and if they keep calling you then call the police and report them or just block them on the phone.
courtneybug
April 25th, 2016 8:33pm
I would recommend you blocking their number. If they continue to find ways to contact you, please contact the police. Good luck.
caringShiny86
February 6th, 2016 3:27am
Block them ,,,or file a restraining order...if neither works ,just move to a new place for a fresh start
hearnospeaknoseeno
February 5th, 2016 6:41am
Change phone numbers. It is the most effective way, so much so that I'm considering adding this as a new skill to my resume.
heythereyousmiles
September 14th, 2016 2:28pm
If your ex keeps contacting you ysoy can tell him to stop. If he doesnt stop block his number or fb or whatever he can talk to you on. Of he somehow keeps messenging you after all that you can go to the cops and they can do something because if hes/ shes gone through this much work theybare stalking you
Anonymous
June 21st, 2015 7:10pm
He is still not over you. Help another human who still has feelings for you in his heart to outgrow it. However keep reminding him that you dont have any feelings for him now. You ll feel better by helping another person. Look at it this way. Hope this helps!
Anonymous
January 24th, 2016 7:21pm
Ask them to stop contacting you. If it's over social media, block them. If it's over text, block them and change your number
Righthere321
January 21st, 2016 12:35am
All depends on how messy the breakup was, how you feel towards your ex now, and what they are texting.
Anonymous
August 5th, 2015 12:51pm
No relationship should be deprived of compassion - But, do give them the clarity of where you stand with them, and you can't fulfill their expectations for certain reasons. Personally, I would try and keep things on a positive note. However, if they're abusive or irrational then you might decide to take a more firm action...
HumIlityTurnsMenToAngels
August 12th, 2015 4:29am
Show how strong you are, and dont reply, stand by the decisions that have been made. That is one thing about being a grown up, you must stand by your decisions,
Anonymous
July 10th, 2015 7:31pm
If my ex boyfriend keeps contacting me I take a step back and remember the reason why we stopped talking in the first place.